At camp I got a call from my mom telling me that this minister's wife that I have known for about 8 years, whom I love and adore, had been put into a medical coma for reasons that not even the doctor's could figure out. They just knew that she was in pain and her lungs had something on them. They were going to pronounce her legally dead when they sound a brain wave and waited, then, she died. This all happened without about two or three days. Very sad. I've not seen neither Reba or her husband Gary in about 5 years. I was looking forward to seeing them both this summer as they were coming to visit my church, this did not happen. I finally was able to see Gary at the funeral. I could not control my tears at all that day, I gave him a hug and he told me that they haven't seen me in a while. When it was our row's turn to stand and pass her casket to view her, I finally got my last look. She didn't look herself. Pain was written all over her face like she'd been tortured. The mortitian had tried to make her look happy, but he did not do a good job of it. At all. I wept even more. Gary was standing in the back, thanking people for coming and giving them big hugs. He gave me another one, and said not to worry about not seeing her, that she'd thought of me often, and that she always would say something every once in a while about what a wonderful, Godly young woman I was. This woman had such a peace even as she lived, in Christ. Though she was in pain, I know she knew where she was going, and that she prayed her husband would be at peace with not always being at his side.
The accident happened while we were at camp. Friday night, as a matter of fact. As if Friday isn't always an emotional time, already! Camp is ending in the morning and the campers will be separated from their friends. One young boy, about 10 or 11, someone who always had a smile on his face, would make up and sing the silliest of songs, always had joy to share, was hit in the head with a bat. I was in the kitchen at the time. It was staff night, and James Sherman and I were serving punch and cookies. It's also quiet dinner. No one can talk once they come in the door. Nice and peaceful. LOL. Anyway, I saw some kids huddled outside watching the baseball feild which was across from the cafeteria. My eyes moved from the kids, to what they were looking at. There was a boy laying on the ground, several people around him, adults, and the nurses (a husband and wife team). It was Austin. He'd been hit in the head with a bat as he and his cousin were playing ball with some other kids. Rumors were getting spread that he was unconscious, that he had amnesia, and all sorts of things. All the kids were crying, even the older ones. Though inside I wept for him, I had all the younger campers that I had in my cabin, and the cabin next to mine, huddled around me. I couldn't cry so that they had someone to lean on. So, I took all the girls, and even some of the older high school girls, and boys came over, and we prayed for Austin's safety. Turns out he wasn't unconscious, but since the skin on your forehead is very thin and tight, if you get cut there, it tears and bleeds like crazy. Austin had 15 stitches and a black eye, though he was more worried about his finger which he cut on a rock as he fell. *shake head* That's Austin for you! Thank the Lord he was all right!
I'm so ready to go back down to L.A. to see my family. I miss my grands and my aunt and uncle and cousins. My minister and his wife's daughter and son-in-law who are in their thirties live down towards my grandparents house. They've told me I could come escape there any time I wished, and I think I might take them up on it. I love them both to death, so that will be fun. Jenn V. still wants to get together and go over things we need for our apartment. She was going through a bunch of dishes today. Thank God for air conditioned apartments! Anyway, maybe I can go and see Christen, too. I'll have to dig up her number and find out. She lives in Valenica. But, the other thing is, if my grands come up this weekend, then I won't be going to L.A. at all. *sigh* Oh, well. I dunno. We'll see how things go.
06.27.03
Deflated.
There is so much I'd like to tell you guys about right now (i.e. three of my good friend's from camp being baptized, the demon-child in my cabin, the accident, the funeral, the bad news..) But I am way too tired to even put any of my feelings and thoughts into words.
My apologies go out to Amber right now. I am so sorry, babe! I have another friend named Amber Mitchell, so I have no idea what in the world was going through my head then. *hugs* Oy vey!
I bought two pairs of fun socks this week. A turqoise pair with gold fish on them, and a pair that have Wonder Woman on them! Yay! It was good seeing Marci's family again. I can beg to differe wether or not it was good to see Marci again. It was for a while, I guess....*Sigh*
Tune in next time to read on the subject of wether or not you should give up after years and years of dedication to something....
06.13.03
Vacation.
Okay, so I'm off to take some kidlets from my church to Yosemite Bible Camp up at Oakhurst. 80+, sun-burned, whiney, bug-eaten, sweaty, emotional, dusty children to take care of! What joy! Actually, it's really not that bad. The kids are good, and well-behaved. Though, the last year I was up there the whole camp was an emotional wreck. Nearly every day someone was upset and crying. A lot of the older girls in the high school cabins (including me) each had a girl we kind of took care of, sometimes two. We were labeled "Big Sisters" a devo one night. The camp director got up and made a special announcement to thank the high school girls for giving the girls someone to talk to. I haven't been for two years. The year I graduated I couldn't come back and be a counselor, I could work elsewhere in the camp (in the kitchen, in the craft house or canteen) but I couldn't be a counselor. By the time I'd gotten enough time to call up Jerry, all the positions were full. Tamara Wallers tried to get me in to help her with crafts, but they were full on every position. It was sad. Then, the following year, some of the kids from my new church were actually going, but I couldn't go because I had to take some classes over the summer in order to graduate. *sigh* Now all the kids I used to know aren't even there, and that makes me sad. I'm hoping this year they'll re-appear.
I want to share some pictures from Hannah's with you. This is Katie Mae, I don't know why breed of dog she is, but she's very old, deaf, and going blind. She's a big shaggy puppers, as you can tell. And this, is my special friend Noel aka Noelie. She greets me when I come over, and always wants to sit on my lap, but this last time, I was holding one of these two kittens and Baby Dog got very upset, but we soon reconciled (it doesn't take very much to reconcile with the Baby Dog). Sophie is the most layed-back of the two. She would let me hold her and she'd curl right up in my arms and go to sleep or just be content in just sitting there being held. Abby, on the other paw, is sooooooo much more hyper than Sophie. I took pictures of them play fighting in the floor last night, but they didn't turn out too well. *sigh* Ah, well. Hopefully, Hannah will post better pictures of them sometime for you all to see. *g*
Here's some more random pictures. This is of my room before I cleaned a bunch of stuff out. And after: a shelf in my room that has some random trinkets on it. See my little sheepie? My cousin calls him Lumpy. We have an inside joke about the little thing. Here's my teddy bear collection, and a few of my stuffed animals. *L*
I think it's time for me to get rid of these blasted hiccoughs and get ready for bed. I've got to leave relatively early in the morning. I think I'll go and put in one of Hannah's Nicole Nordemon CDs. Hehehe. I'm learning to like Nicole. The more I listened to her last night, the more I fell for her. She's got some pipes, let me tell you. I wish I could sing like her and the Knapster!
06.11.03
Frenzy.
I've been going through my room for the past two days. Totally cleaning things out, throwing things away, packing things away, saving things for my children, etc, etc. I found things that I'd done back when I was homeschooling, things from my creative writing class at Cuesta, from my English 1B class, and 1C. And then....and then I found something I didn't even know was in my closet. I found my baby blanket. It's got Winnie the Pooh on it, and since my Granddaddy worked for Disney, my parents thought it was an appropriate theme for my room as a baby and toddler. It was small. Man, it used to be so huge! LOL! It still felt the way it used to (like I expected that to change). It has a silky-smooth blanket binding around the edges. I used to run it through my fingers when I was little. It was nice and cool. The poor thing is in shambles now, but it's still my old blanket. Wow, look how vulnerable I'm being!
I also found old letters from my Army boy, Dan. Actually, he was in the Air Force. A techie. Wow...brought back a flood of memories. There have been two guys I have liked more than just friends. Michael and Dan. I haven't heard from Dan in like....3 years or something. But, Brandi, my roomie at school goes to church with his dad and she said that Dan came home for Christmas. I requested that she ask his dad for any form of communication so I could get a hold of him. I miss him. He was such a great friend. One of my best friends. It will be so wonderful to be in contact with him again. And no, I don't know if he has a girl, Ryan Hodges.
So Satruday I'm off to Yosemite Bible Camp with some kidlets from my church. We'll be gone the 14th to the 21st, so I won't be posting. After that, I'm going to be spending six days at Marci's house over in Tulare, so I'll be back on the 27th. The 28th I'm going to Six Flaggs as a chaperone with some of the youth from my church. Some of the older folk are going, too. And what I mean by older is like 60+. Hehehe. It will be fun. Hopefully, Hannah and Rachel can come! Well, I'm headed to bed now. I've got to get up early and finish some things before the Ladies lunch. Every second Thursday of the month, the ladies at my church all meet for lunch. It's full of fun and fellowship. *smiles* I have superb ladies at my church. Especially, my Velma.
06.11.03
I've Got the Willies.
Okay. Ghostship was incredibly stupid, but it did give me the willies. And, a conversation I'm having with Sarah right now over a possessed EBay item just doesn't go too well with my willies. Nor, does the fact that I'm sitting in this den all by myself, my brother has gone to bed, and it's 11:26 at night. *prays for Hannah to come online for some company* I will humbly admit I'm a tad bit freaked out.
Some friends and I got into a discussion back at school. There's a couple of ghost 'legends' around campus, especially in our old music building. I'm very hesitant to believe the stories. I'm one of those, "You had better prove it to me, first." Kind of girls. Anyway, in the discussion, my friends were trying to explain to me that there was really a ghost in the old music building. "There is no such thing as ghosts. The soul goes back to God, remember? How can a ghost dwell here on the earth if the soul goes back to God? Or wherever Abraham's Bosom is." My friends proceeded to tell me that there was, in fact, a difference between a soul....and a spirit. I'd like some feedback. After reading, Lord Foulgrin's Letter's, which was a gift from Sarah, I've started accepting that demons do roam the earth (if this confuses any of you, it's because of my religious upbringing. A few of you know what I'm talking about), so maybe my friends back at the school were right . . . ? I don't know. *bites lip*
06.11.03
I Owe You.
Okay, let's see. I owe y'all a post on the choice of Christianity, and, I'm working on one about Forgiveness. Gosh, I'm just getting all sorts of neat as pie ideas! *waggles eyebrows*
Oh. I'd like you all to pray for my brother. He and his friends Dana and Dan went hiking locally. They've planned this thing to last for three days. I must say that I will be pleasantly surprised if they come back in one piece. I just don't know if I trust three seventeen year olds, with not much discernment out in the wild. Mind you, my parents did allow Wes to go, but well, I just know that my brother has a lot of tricks up his sleeve and he really is taking advantage of it. Anyway, part of me is hoping that they wake up and some non-poisonous snake or a racoon freaks them out a bit. Just so they are reminded that they are not invincible. hehehe. I'm such a mean big sister!
06.10.03
Since When?
Saw this ad on TNT today: Senator Hillary Clinton: Honest and In Depth
C'mon people? How could you use those two words in the same sentence as Hillary Clinton? That's like . . . an oxymoron.
06.010.03
Ah, the Psalms.
This is a neat evaluation of me. I think it's really true. Though, I took the test again and got Ephesians. Hmm.
At lunch today, I had fish and chips. My brother randomly picked up a piece of my fish, poked me on the cheek with it, and said, "Feesh Slahpper!" I about died laughing as I wiped the sticky off my face.
Post on the choice of Christianity still to come.
06.08.03
What has this World Come To?
Ryan: i'm going to buy a mac soon Ash: *startled* Ash: *braces self* Ash: a what? Ash: *blink, blink* Ry: MAC Ash: *staggers* Ash: Ryan! Ash: How dare you say such a bad word! Ry: what? Ash: Macs are horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE things Ry: what? Ry: why is that? Ash: they just are Ash: they're hard to use Ash: and Ry: they don't crash like pc's Ash: and i like their operating system Ash: they're just inherently evil Ry: naw Ash: yaw Ry: the one i want is 1499 Ry: sigh Ry: i can't wait Ash: *hangs head* Ash: and all was right in the world Ash: for once Ash: and now Ash: to darkness
*sobs* It’s so horrible, isn’t it? But, wait. There’s more!
Ry: jenny is excited too, cause she'll have wonderful graphics software Ash: oh no Ash: not jenny, too! Ry: lol Ash: Photoshop 7.0, people! Ash: Paint Shop Pro! Ash: yeesh! Ry: heh
[…] Ash: What has this world come to? Ry: i look forward to getting it Ash: I'm glad Ash: I'm just messin' Ash: but macs are still the devil Ry: yeah eyah [sic] Ry: hehe
We were just teasing. LOL. I still think MACS aren't the best comps in the world, since, yes, I have actually used one. Two, actually. Both I used were really hard to use, and I got confused trying to figure them out. But, eh. Oh, well.
Post on the choice of Christianity still to come.
06.06.03
D-Day.
Some America-Appreciator I am! I had totally forgotten it was D-Day until a friend pointed it out! He said he was going to watch Saving Private Ryan, I asked why, and he explained. DUH! Helloooooo, Ash?! Ah, well. That would explain how tired I am.
I have this post I'm working out in my mind on the choice of Christianity. It's going to be a great post, I think. I haven't really posted any type of spiritual thought like this for a long time, and I think I'm about over-due. So, that will be coming soon.
I want some Cap'n Crunch now. Mmmmm....
06.05.03
They Tried to kill Me!!
So, I went to the dentist today and they tried to kill me !!! Okay, so, it wasn't exactly that bad, but it was pretty close! I have two baby teeth left and I'm going to be twenty-one. They are molars, and because they are smaller than the rest of my molars, they are sunken. My dentist told me that they would start to decay if I didn't get braces soon to pull them up (how they can do that, I have no idea), but I do not have the money for them to do this. Well, it seems the one on the left side has started to decay a bit, not because of a cavity, but just because that is what happens. So, my dentist goes in today, gives me a boat-load of novicaine (which numbs half my cheek and from the back of my jaw to the middle of my chin)and sticks this metal band thing that they call a Tofflemire/Tofflemeyer around my tooth, and shoves it down into my gums. I had forgotten to bring my portable CD player which I do because I really do not like hearing the noises going on in my mouth, so I had to bear all of this without a distraction. I endure this pain of the Tofflemire/Tofflemeyer being rammed into my gums by trying not to yelp and squeezing my eyes shut. Finally, they place it and go to work on my filling.
When they were finished with the little tool that was like a microwave wand to set my filling, Dr. Romanelli decides he's going to floss the tooth. He does so, and what happens? The floss gets stuck! "Oops." He says. Oops?! I think. Nooo, you can not say oops when you are working in my mouth! "I pulled the filling loose, we're going to have to start over." Oh, please don't tell me that. Please do not tell me that!! He asks the Hygenist to come and sit down again and they get this tool he called a 'Beaver Tail' to which I think, You're going to put a what? in my mouth?! and he works on my filling for a bit until he says, "Okay. Fixed it!" *rolls eyes*
The only thing that makes the whole episode worth while is the fact that Dr. Romanelli looks like Mel Gibson *swoons* To bad he's 40+ years old, married, and has at least four kids! *snaps*
06.04.03
Bow to the Princess, Ye Knave!!
Shh! Don't make too much noise, now, you wouldn't want to disturb her majesty, now would you? Oh, look, now you've gone and awakened her. Tsk! Tsk! Hopefully you will not feel her wrath, for she is a very noble and beautiful kitty. But, she thinks that perhaps this is her better side. Yes. Yes, she agrees.
This is my cat, Pinkie. She's a grey and white tabby/siamese mix. When we got her as a kitten she was pure white! Her eyes were a vivid sky blue, the kind of blue that the sky would be on a day that was not cloudy, and her ears, nose, and the pads of her paws were bright pink, I kid you not! So, from that day forward, she was named . . . oh, pardon me, dubbed Pinkie. *g* We call her the Princess. Yes, there is emphasis on the 'cess', because it sounds more regal, like she is. *wink, wink* But, we won't tell her any different, now, will we?
She is a very persnickety cat. When her food blow gets below the rim, she must have it refilled, for she simply can not get her nose dirty with kibble crumbs! *gasp* She must always sleep in her favorite green chair during the day, which is in the sunshine, and you must not disturb her for she can get quite testy with you, and she will have no other choice than to have you beheaded! So, please, do not pester her royal highness! Thank you. She is a very old kitty, at the age of fifteen, and she is also an inside cat, which explains the extent of age.
06.04.03
Several Different Topics.
I couldn't make up my mind what to blog about today, and since I have several different things rolling around my head right now, I'll just do a Sarah and highlight a couple of interesting things. *g*
The reason I love reading the Wallfamilyblogs is because of the beautifulsincerity that each of the family members hold within their hearts, the passion for our Saviour that shows in their thoughts and the over-all wonderful personality each of them has. Mom Wall's blog makes me adore my own mother even more. I guess it's because of her stories, and how she writes about every-day life, and being a mother of those sometimes-crazy Wall brothers, and her adorable daughter-in-law, Julie, and her grandchildren. I want to bring my own mother all of that pleasure. As for Julie and the guys, they also write about every-day life and their passions for Christ. How God has touched them on this or that day in the things they see or hear on a regular basis. It's true and sincere Christianity, and I adore the lot of them for sharing the blessings of their life with the rest of us.
I'm still getting up the nerve to IM Amber at Fuzzy Socks. She seems like such a neat person, and if Jenn has fun talking to her then I suppose I would, too. There's not a day when I regret meeting (or rather IMing) and getting to know Jenn. She's simply an amazing Godly, Christian young woman. I guess I'll just have to get Amber's AIM name from Jenn sometime. That is, of course, if Amber doesn't mind.
I took some pictures of my kitty. I'll be posting them soon. hehe. For those of you who have not had the priveledge of meeting the princess. *L*
06.03.03
And We're Back at it Again.
Anyway, it's started again. Once I'm back at the house I'm the little girl, go to bed at this time, wake up at this time, curfew at 10:00. Yesterday night I went out with James and the others and told my mom we'd be out until 11:30, because that's what she gave me as curfew last time - mom agreed. Then when I was coming home from Nicole's house, I asked my friend Micah to follow me to the gas station so I didn't run out of gas, he was kind and did so. So, I was at the gas station, he was gone, and I swiped the ATM card. Well, it gave me an error, so I tried it again, just in case, and it said that it was declined. Fine, I went to try my Discover card and realized I had no password on it. So, I went inside to see if it was just the machine outside, and the guy took like 10 minutes to figure it out. By that time, I was on the verge of tears, I knew my mom would be freakin' upset that it was now 11:45 and I wasn't home. I called her, she said "fine" and we hung up. I get home; she's waiting with the door open like she does with my brother when he's in trouble. I knew I had nothing to be in trouble for so I just went on inside. Then she comes and says, "When I say 11:00, I mean 11:00, not 12:00." I told her that she agreed to 11:30 because that was what she told me the last time, and that I called her to tell her I was getting gas. She said no, and that she had to get some sleep. I remarked back, not rudely, mind you, "Then get some sleep and stop worrying. I’ll always call if I’m in trouble." And she opened her mouth to say something and left. Fine by me, I didn't care if she talked to me at all. Not only was I frustrated and cried on the way home from the gas station, I was frustrated and cried after she left my room. Either she's going to let me grow up or not. She did let me grow up at Harding. I was fine. And trusted. Once I get back home, nothing has changed except for the fact that I am living in their house. Either she's going to give me a curfew and remember it, or she's not. I hate it when I'm back at home I'm automatically that little kid again, with a bedtime. *rolls eyes* For Gosh sakes, I'm almost 21 years old!! She TRUSTED me back in Arkansas and now that I'm in her care again she can baby me? No. I don't really think so.
06.01.03
Is it the moon?
No one seems to be themself tonight. Abbe wouldn't tell me what was up with her and blamed it on a headache (I know her way to well for that to be the case), and several other's just weren't quite up to par and it made me sad. *frown*
My cell phone is dead. I spent at least an hour or so on the phone with a good friend of mine. My phone was a good little phone and didn't go dead on us, but not it is dead. I'll need to plug it in to the wall. *yawns* I'm so tired. I think I'll head off to bed because I really don't have much to say except that it's the first of June, and before I know it the summer will be over and I'll be back at Harding away from home. *sigh* My friend Rachel back at school told me that I really needed to make up my mind. Either I want to be at home or I don't. Well, I do, when the times are right, and then I don't when things go bad. Just like always. *shrugs*
It's not even that hot and I'm sticky all over. Bleh. It'll be worse in Arkansas. I love my school. I really do, but sometimes I wish I had this great coastal influence over there. You know what I want to do? I want to bring all of my friends from Arkansas out here to show them what the coast is like, and break that image they have of California being all sand and palm trees. We do have snow, we do have bad rains, and we do not go around wearing shorts all the time, with our 'Hollywood' sunglasses on ready to hit the beach. Matter of fact, I really don't care for the beach that much. I love the sounds, the breeze and the shells, but I don't like swimming in the water, getting sunburned or surfing. I'm afraid of the water because I can't see what's in the water and around me - I'm afraid of sharks - I'm afraid of anything that could nibble my toes, or chew me to pieces. I don't like the sand that sticks places you don't want it (that means: in your hair, in your shirt and pants - how it gets there, I have no idea, I don't play in the sand). I like the sand, mind you, I just don't like the places it can go, and I mean it can be in weird places even though you haven't played in it or whatever.
Oh, wow, look at that paragraph of rambling. *sigh* I didn't really have anything to talk about, but I guess I just reached out and picked something right out of the clear blue, or midnight black, whatever you want to call it. I need to get some sleep so I don't fall asleep during my dad's sermon tomorrow. Oh, and, just so those of you who know what happened to my dad on Thursday, he's doing a lot better. The bruising is going away, but he'll still have to have eyedrops put in his eye every day for two weeks.
