Eternal Praises | She poured out the depth of her soul

08.29.03
Delrious.

So, I spiked a fever in my 8 o'clock class. I thought I was going to die. It went away, and I went to chapel, where I spiked another fever. The guy I was sitting next to asked if I was okay, and I said no. He asked why I was here, and I said because I skipped chapel yesterday. He frowned at me and said he hoped I felt better.

Next, I went to have lunch with my brother and he told me I wasn't making an ounce of sense as I was talking to him. He took my to the nurse, despite my sayign no, that I needed to go to my math class. He proceeded to tell me that he'd take my homework in, and the nurse would excuse me from the class. I didn't fight it. I felt too weak. The nurse took my temp, and it was normal. Which made me angry, because now she thinks I'm faking it. But, she gave me IB Prophen anyway, and told me to take a nap. Which, I'm not doing right now, but I will later. *sigh* I hate being sick, and it's only the first week of school.

Update: Rus, you rock my socks. Thank you. Talking to you is even more healing that IB Prophen for a fever. I love you, bro! *hugs*

08.27.03
Announcement

Would you all please join me in a round of song? What song? The song is "Happy Birthday to you" and it is in dedication to Sarah on her twenty-third birthday. Shall we? *clears throat*

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, dear Sarah!
Happy birthday to you!

Sis, thanks for being such an awesome friend. These past going on three years of knowing you have been awesome. Our friendship has grown even more than I could imagine, and I know God is the reason for that. I praise Him every day for putting you into my life as a friend, sister, and even one to hold me accountable for my actions. For sharing scripture over the phone, and in IMs, for being my traveling buddy, for sharing poetry, stories, hugs, silliness, laughter and tears. I thank you for every moment. You are very special and you hold a special place in my heart. Thank you and happy birthday. I love you.

08.24/25.03
I'm Ba-aack!!

So, I came back from dropping my 'rents off at the air port and found my computer had been scanned and I was online again! Hurray for DormNet who is always such a pain but gets things done! *LOL* Apparently, there was a bug on the net and they shut down the whole pipeline so that it wouldn't get spread. They had us all sign a paper and get it in soon (if we didn't, we'd be without the net until the 8th! Gah!) so that they could come in and have permission to get on our computers to fix it.

And from my LiveJournal I met five friends from over there. I'm excited. Three were incomin freshmen, so I quickly became big sister and took them under my wings, and two of them were Harding grads that I just met today. So, on my 100+ things list, I have now met .... 11 online friends. WOW! I'm moving up in the world. :-P Anyway, today was just an all around good day. I got my phone to work properly, and I got my net back!

I missed you guys a LOT!

08.16.03
Yay for Hotels with Internet!

Well, we did it. We drove all night and are now in Denver, Co. It's beautiful here. There's trees, and mountains, and it just smells incredible. Not to mention that it's raining, and there's thunder and lighting and that just makes it smell that much better.

I was thinking on our drive up here as I had my headphones on listening to Watermark, that I could totally live here and be content. The last time I was here, I was small. I don't even remember how old, but Wes was a newborn. We'd come in December to pick him up from the adoption agency and stayed with my aunt who lived just outside Denver (she lives in Kansas now). Wes and I were both born here in Denver, so in a way, we're natives. ;) But, since I was raised in California, I truly must claim California. It is just as beautiful...and we have the Pacific Ocean. hehe.

Okay, I should probably leave this little room now. I'm quite tired and I think we're getting up early in the morning. I don't know where the church is from here, but I'm sure we'll find it. *yawns* Wow, it's only 8:24, and it would be 7:24 in California, and I'm this tired? I slept in the car mostly! Geesh.

Allrighty, I'll see you all when we get back to Arkansas. Have a great weekend! *hugs all around*

08.15.03
Trek Back to Arkansas

All right, Praisers. I'm going back to Harding tonight. We're going to drive straight through to Colorado (because that's where my parents want to visit), and then go on down to Arkansas. We'll be at Harding on Monday some time, staying in the Inn on campus. I may be able to get to a compter sometime on monday. The computers in the student center are usually locked up with names and passwords, but I'm smart and know how to get through. Muahahaha!

Anyway, I guess I'll see you all then. Hannah, this is for you. I found it as I was looking at my lyrics sheet and thought I could maybe find them online. I wish you the best of luck at Azusa. I know you'll find God's true will there, Sis.

'Tis time for me to sign off here and finish some things up. I'll let you all know when we've gotten there safely. And if I'm dying from the humidity. LOL! I love you all. Keep safe and blessings. I'm outta here. *hugs and kisses*

08.15.03
Question for Rach

1) What sparked your interest in broadcast/television media?

2) I've seen you write down dozens of lyrics. What is is about lyrics that enthralls you so?

3) What are the benefits of Bible Quizzing, and what do you like most about it?

4) If you could go back in time and live in any era you wished, which would you choose?

5) If you were given an istructor for any type of activity you wished (sports or otherwise) which would you choose and why?

08.14.03
The Number 1 Thing that make me go UGH!

Packing = Stress

Stress = Frustration

Frustration = Unhappy Ash

Uhappy Ash = Close to tears

It was so hard to say good bye to people at my church last night. My poor Velma is struggling right now. Her husband is diabetic, and his kidneys are acting up again. He may have to go on dialysis, and on top of that, Velma's son and daughter-in-law are going through some major storms in their marriage, and her back is out and her chiropractor will not be back until the end of next week. She told me that she felt like she'd crumble if she had to handle one more thing. She started crying, and I held her and cried with her. Her husband is not Christian. I feel so bad for leaving her at this time. She depends on me a lot. I give her the company she needs. Pray for her, please.

08.14.03
Questions for Rus.

1) What advice would you give to a couple who must carry on a long distance relationship?

2) What is the best part about your job?

3) How would you describe your paintings to a blind person?

4) How has God worked in your life and how has He used you?

5) Why do you paint and what got you into painting specifically?

08.14.03
More Pictures.

I took some more pictures over at Hannah's house. Here is my good friend Noel being her cute and lovely self. She is such a baby dog! Miss Sophie-Kitty was sleeping on Hannah's bed as Hannah fiddled with her new laptop, Delia. Later that evening, Pete and Rach swing danced to Audio Adreneline's DC-10. Rach got me to swing with her, too. Hannah has those pictures. It was quite fun! Here we are - the Muskateers! We just need those great looking hats like Orlando Bloom wore in Pirates! hehehe

Rus, I'll be posting your questions tomorrow. Thanks for participating! Oh, by the way, I've got more participaters over at my livejournal than I do over here! What happened to everyone? Ah, well.

08.12.03
Interrogation.

Let's play a round of Q & A. Thanks to Sarah, who's friend Jay interviewed her first, we can play this game, too! I asked Sarah to interview me, and if you'd like me to interview you (more than one can participate, I promise *g*), here's the rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

~*~

Here are my answers to Sarah's questions:

1. So, are you a California girl or an Arkansas girl? (I was bribed to ask you this, honest!)

Yeah, and I don't know who would ever bribe you to ask that one, Sis. *sarcasm*

Cali girl or Arkansas girl? I will always be a Californian. Always. Arkansas is just my part-time, adopted living place. The first big thunder storm I witnessed out there scared the bejeepers out of me! I wasn't used to those 1000000000000000x-louder-than-California thunder claps! I told my friends at school, "I'm a California earthquake girl! Not a Arkansas Tornado woman! Gah!!" Plus, I'm not even a registered voter there! :-P

2. How would you define friendship and how have the friendships in your life encouraged you?

Obviously, you know me well, Sarah. You know friendship and friends are very, very important to me. That my friends are very much a part of my life. This is a good question.

Friendship is a type of unconditional love that people have for each other (Proverbs 17:17 - happens to be one of my favorite verses, too). It's the ability to have such a stable relationship and mutual respect with a person that you can share burdens without fear of judgement, or be able to go to that person in hopes of a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone to rejoice with, to admonish and set us straight from time to time.

The friendships in my life have done so much for me that it is hard for me to pin-point every encouragement. But, taking everything I said in the previous paragraph into context, my friends have encouraged me because they exercise those same qualities in their lives towards me. I value that. There have been nights where I would lay in bed and pour my heart out over the phone. The deed of listening, offering advice, and praying over me has been reciprocated on more than one occassion. That is true friendship. It doesn't neccessarily have to be the advice that encourages...it's knowing that certain friend will always be there even if they can't really do anything for you but give you a hug and let you cry. I could go on, but there is only so much room on this webpage. LOL!

3. What would you say is your biggest strength and your biggest weakness?

Christ, my rock and firm foundation is my biggest strength. I think that's all I'll say about that.

My biggest weakness .... "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" And the fact that I am so soft that I let people walk all over me and don't say a word - I don't stand up for myself enough. I don't like confrontation so I just leave it alone. This causes me more harm than good. When will I ever learn?

4. In your opinion, what's the best thing about children?

The best thing about children is that all things are new and fresh in their eyes. Their judgements aren't clouded, they have a true passion for learning and never stop thirsting for knowledge. They're always looking, watching, listening and every aspect they see, learn or find is the most brilliant thing in the world to them.

Everything is forgive and forget with children. They may get mad for a moment, but the very next they are back to being best friends, sharing and getting along with one another. Children are so precious. Why can't we adults be more like this, sometimes? *L*

5. So far you've visited two congregations that are not affiliated directly with your church. How does that change your views on the doctrines other denominations teach? Does it change how you view other denominations at all?

Wow. I'm going to have to start at the beginning for this one. My views started changing the day that Hannah gave me the Newsboys CD Stepping Up to the Microphone to be honest. I think I was about sixteen then. I'd never, ever listened to Christian music, and I'd always been brought up to think that instrumental music was wrong. I, on the other hand, started to believe that it wasn't wrong, it was just something I was not accustomed to. So, in short, going to these other churches has not changed my views on the doctrines...that happened long ago. I respect what they believe/teach. Respecting what other denominations teach was one thing, going ahead and actually attending those churches was a wall I had to break. That wall is now crumbling to pieces, though. Thanks to you (Sarah), and to Lee. I could go on and on with this, but this is enough.

Something that I ask myself, now: Do we not serve the same God? The same living Savior who died and then arose not three days later? Do we all strive to please Him and do His will? No, it does not change how I view other denominations at all.

08.12.03
Prayer Request.

I have a prayer request for all you Praisers. It's very hard for me to admit when something is wrong. In person it's harder, and on here, though it may be easier to type/write, it's still hard for me to say.

I just got some medical test results back. I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to feel about them right now. I'm not happy, but I'm not totally upset. I'm somewhere in the middle. I feel...lost.

I am not very comfortable explaining what the results are right now. If you're dying to know, e-mail me and I'll do my best to answer. I think right now I'm just asking for prayer on my behalf. Please. I'd really appreciate it.

God Bless.

08.10.03
Say Cheese.

I am the proud owner of a brand spanking new digital camera!!! I'd been begging my parents for one for a while now, and told them that it was ALL I wanted for my birthday; I didn't need anything else! And....today at Wal*Mart Dad bought it for me! An early birthday presnt! Wahoo!!! I am a happy, happy Ash. I even took some random pictures for y'all to see.

I absolutely LOVE this thing! The pictures turned out so wonderful! The colors are crisp and vivid! I took a few candids when we went out to get dinner tonight. My dad and Jim sat and talked about the front planter at our church, while Misty and Wes listened intently. Gloria sat and talked to my mom as I fooled around, seeing what this baby could do! Earlier, I took these pretty pictures. I am so impressed!

Happy birthday to me!

08.09.03
Today is a Good Day to Cry.

I need to get out of here. I need a hug.

Can't Harding come any faster?

08.09.03
Why I Love Living in the Country.

This calls for no city lights.

08.08.03
Whirlwind.

This whole week has been just one big blur to me. From the time I pulled into my grandparent's drive way, being greeted by a bouncy little seven-year-old cousin who lept into my arms and hugged me so tightly I thought I was going to choke, to the time that I pulled out of that same drive way and waved to a seventy-six year old woman blowing kisses at me, I still feel like my head is still spinning. My grandfather was somewhat tolerable, somwhat not. It drives me insane the way one minute he'll tell me I'm not good enough, I need to change my self-image, I need to meet his standards (in more or less words), and then next he'll give me some antique that I'd admired since I was small, or kiss my forehead gently to let me know he loves me. Why can't he just be happy with who I am all the time? Anywho, on with the real point of this post.

Since I was small, I've always loved watching The Walton's. I don't know why. Perhaps it was that I knew my grandparents had grown up in that era. I don't really know, but what I do know is that I always watched the older brothers on that show, and thought that they cared for their younger siblings so well. Played with them, cared for them, joked for them. From then on I had always wanted an older brother.

Sunday, I realized that my quest was over.

I sat there worshipping next to an excellet friend. I think the realization came fully in the giving and receiving warm hugs, conversations from the heart. As we watched old movies, laughed together about silly things. In joking and bantering . . . bantering like siblings.

I have several older brother's online, and I love them all very much. But, I guess it wasn't until after I met with this particular brother that I realized the value of having each of these older brothers.

They're a treasure. Each of them.

We were sharing one of his huger-than-huge hugs when I told him how much I'd missed them. I felt his smile grow larger as he squeezed me even tighter. The many times he'd listened to me tell him about my struggles, whether it had to do with writing, family, school or spiritual, ran through my mind. Mainly the time where I'd mentioned to a mutual friend that someone was bugging me online, and I'd received a message from him asking if I was okay. Testing the waters carefully to make sure I wasn't so upset that I needed him to chase off said offender. It was a sense of security I hadn't felt before. It was that sheltering embrace of a friend, of a brother.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm just thankful for the adopted-people that God has placed in my life. Everyone one of you...