Captain Ed’s Country Time Toothpaste

 

Ingredients:

·                  1 Cup of Corn Starch

·                  ½ Cup of Baking Soda

·                  1 ½  Cups of Fluoridated Drinking Water (found in the baby foods isle of your local grocery)

·                  1 Heaping Scoop (1/4 Cup) of Country Time Lemon Flavored Drink mix.

·                  1 Packet (6 grams) of unsweetened Lemon Flavored Kool-Aid Drink mix.

·                  1 Packet of Equal Sugar Substitute

·                  1 Dozen Fresh Mint Leaves. (not mandatory, but recommended)

·                  2 or 3 breath mints (Altoids, Certs, Lifesavers, etc.)

·                  ¼ Cup of minty Mouthwash (optional, you’ll see why)

·                  1 tspn of MSG.

·                  ¼ Cup of Hydrogen Peroxide. (This is your “active ingredient”)

 

Directions:

1.    First, cut up your fresh Mint Leaves as finely as possible (Note 1.). Then further pulverize using a Mortar and Pestle. Add 2 or 3 strong Breath Mints and pulverize.

 

2.    Next, Make your “Witch’s Brew”:

§      Bring 1 ½ cups of Fluoridated Drinking Water to a boil.

§      Remove from heat.

§      Add your pulverized Mint, a heaping scoop of Country Time Lemon Flavored Drink Mix, 1 packet of Unsweetened Lemon Flavored Kool-Aid, and 1 Packet of Equal Sugar Substitute.

§      Mix and let steep.

§      Add one teaspoon of MSG after brew has cooled somewhat.

 

Note 1.  If your “Witch’s Brew” does not contain pulverized Mint Leaves, don’t worry. We’ll fix that later on. Just use a ¼ cup less Fluoridated Drinking Water in your brew.

 

3.    In a Microwaveable Mixing Bowl, add 1 Cup of Corn Starch and a ½ Cup of Baking Soda. Mix in 1 ¼ cup of your Witch’s Brew. (Should be all of it, since a ¼ cup was lost to evaporation). Hand mix with a regular fork until smooth and pasty. (Note 2.)

 

Note 2.  If you are going without the Fresh Mint Leaves, now is the time to add in a ¼ cup of Mint Flavored Mouth wash.

 

4.    Microwave mixture at high power for 1 minute.

 

5.    Stir in ¼ cup of Hydrogen Peroxide.

 

Your Country Time Toothpaste should be the consistency of Cake Frosting. If not, you may need to add a small Mint Mouthwash to get it there. In fact, I use an empty 12 oz. Cake frosting container to store my toothpaste in. I use a Popsicle stick to scoop it out with and apply to my toothbrush.

 

 

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