TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Not embarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10. Sweating tenors
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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:
1. You can be mistaken for a Mexican all over North America
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6. Hard to get the women into bed without marrying them ...
7. ... and twice as hard still if you're not a Catholic
8. In fact, the only sure way is to dress up in silly too-tight clothes
and risk your life in front of bulls
9. You get to eat bulls' testicles
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:
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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH:
1. The Guinness is great
2. The crack is great
3. You won't get in a crack unless you marry them
4. You can't have sex with a condom on
5. Thus you must have sex without one on
6. No one can ever remember the night before
7. If you don't agree with me I'll blow you up
8. The stew is great
9. The Murphy's is great
10. Er...Best pop down the pub and have a think
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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
1. You can speak three languages in one sentence without realizing
it
2. You get to own a dog that's smaller than your cat
3. You can go out for a beer at 3am, and the bar is just starting
to liven up
4. You can speak French as your native language without actually being
French
5. When driving you can try to kill every pedestrian that dares to
step on a zebra crossing
6. You never have to tip in restaurants or cabs
7. No-one knows where your country is
8. You can step in a dozen different varieties of dogshit between
your front door and your car
9. You have a royal family that no-one's ever heard of
10. You can queue for an hour in the post office to buy a stamp and
think it was good service
