| Ohno Stories |
| Our Journey Through the City Searching For Ohno As you all know, we live in Brooklyn, New York. So one day Little Michelle and myself (Danielle) decide we want to go to Manhattan to buy Lil Michy some boots. So we are on this awesome store on 8th St. looking at boots. All of a sudden i hear the little one go "<GASP> Oh my god!" So I turn around and what do i see but hot sexy Ohno on TRL!! So as fast as we could, we bought the boots, ran out of the store, to the train, and to 42nd St. We get there and run to TRL screaming, "Ohno, Ohno!!" The people in the crowd don't even seem to know who Ohno is! We explain that he's the hot ass mother fucker from the Olympics. The people finally came to their senses and they're like, "Oh yeah, I think you just missed him." What a load of crap!!! So Little Michelle and myself go walking around the block knocking on every limo door, asking every cop we see, "Have you seen Ohno?" But to no avail. So we come back and walk up into the MTV building, 1515 Broadway or whatever it is. The woman there was very rude I must say. We asked her if Ohno had come out and she was like, "What? I dunno. I'm a stupid bitch." (Well maybe not in those words.LoL) The she said, "Bye!" trying to make us leave, but our feet were planted. So we stayed a while longer just to see how pissed off we could make the lady and then decided to leave. We went outside and asked one of the guys with the walkie talkie deals if Ohno had left and he was like, "Yeah 20 minutes ago.", pointing downtown. So I said why don't we go to his hotel. We had asked some girl online the previous night, if she knew what hotel he was staying at and she said she thought it was the Four Seasons. Little Michy complied. So we went. So here we are on 59th St. in Columbus Circle, looking for Ohno. But which way is the Four Seasons? We asked one of the wonderful members of the New York City Police Department and he told us it was like way across town. Little Michelle gave up right then and there and decided this was stupid because we weren't even certian about which hotel he was at. But I was still going! I told her i would pay for a cab to go there. She said she thought this was stupid and crazy and then the fight broke out. There was yelling and screaming and threats ("I'm gonna burn you!"). So we fought on the corner of 59th and 7th (?) for about a half an hour. Then Michelle decides to go into a store cuz she wants a bag and ends up telling some African lady who works there the whole story. Needless to say the lady agreed with me and said we would never know unless we tried. But that was no help. So we fought on the street a little while longer and then decided to give up and go to the village and buy bags. So that was what we did. We have so many stories of just missing Ohno, crap even in my dreams I usually just miss him. One day we will have a meeting Ohno story, when we become rock stars and we plee with him on television to contact us so we can make sweet sweet love in holy matrimony. lmao. |
| Stealing Posters From the Sunglass Hut in Kings Plaza Walking through the mall one day, Little Michelle, Big Michelle, and myself (Danielle), are stopped dead in our tracks by these glistening images of inconceivable beauty. What are they you may ask? Posters of our Ohno advertising for Nike Vision. (He's a Nike whore, but we love him anyway.) Little Michelle starts flailing her limbs and screaming, "Holy shit! Hot sexy mother fucker! Holy black Jesus! I love Ohno!" We soon realize, after staring at the lighted cases, that was can just take he posters without the guy noticing. (It wasn't an actual store. It was one of those booth things in the middle of the hallway.) So we decided to come back later. We came back after having a wonderful meal at Nathan's (hey it's better than McDonalds) and decided to just ask the guy for the posters. So we asked and he told us to come back in a week. "Come back in a week?!? But mister, I can't wait. I'll even make out with you. I need Ohno now!" So after a little coaxing he said, "If you want to take them my back is turned." Yesssssss! So we slid them out as fast as we could, gave the guy a big "I Love You" and went home to bask in the glory that is Ohno. |
| More crazy Ohno Stories to Come: |
| -That dream I had where Ohno was in the Olympic UPS. -Getting BIG ASS posters from the Sunglass Hut in Manhattan -Try desperatly to get ticktes to Conan. -Why Little Michelle wants to "Fuck him up his ass." -Is/Was Ohno in a gang? If so was he a crip cuz he wears that damn blue bandana a lot. Send us your own crazy Ohno Stories and we may put the up...we probably will cuz the rest of these stories are kinda weird and scary and I don't know if we should be sharing them with people who can't really fully understand the essence of us because they've never actually met us. ok? Send Crap Here: |
| Here is an email I got from some lovely people all the way across the damn country in Cali: I live in California, way in the hell far away from Ohno. We have a HUGE ASS Sunglasses Hut in the Arden Fair Mall where I live in Sacramento. Well, anyway, I was walking in the mall and I saw this Humongous beautiful face, it was Apolo's AD for the Nike Mojo glasses. I was with my friends and I said, "Hold on! I have to go in there!" My friend Eric is jealous of Apolo because Eric is Fat and Ugly and because all of us girls LOVE Apolo. We went in the store and I asked the guy behind the counter if I could have the poster, it was huge and beautiful. The guy was a total jerk and a total crackhead. He said, "No, I don't think you need it." What the hell?! I don't think he needed any more crack! Anyways, me and my friend Ashley were fighting with the guy telling him how much we needed to have that poster. When out of nowhere my fat friend Eric says, "You need to get off his jock already Charlotte, damn! Pull his dick out of your mouth already!" I was going to beat his ass when my friend Ashley slapped him in his face! "Shut up, just 'cause ur fat, don't be jealous!" She said. The man in the store goes, "Yeah, I think that Ohno dude's a fag" And I slapped him. He just stood there for a moment and then goes, "Get the Hell out of this store and don't ever come back here again u bitch!" Me and my friend Ashley took the poster and left. Fuck that store. Now we have our poster, We haven't gone back. This shows what crazy shit I do for Ohno. It was worth it. |
| Here is another email we got: i have a story about apolo. it's not really a story but i had a dream about apolo and i was wondering if that would be included as a story. well anyhow here goes. it happened at my school but it didn't seem like my school but i guess it was my school b/c everybody i knew from my school was there. well anyhow apolo came and visit and he was on these bleachers giving his john handcock and dianne who i have some classes w/ asked who apolo was and my friend christi said that's yoko ohno zono(b/c she doesn't know apolo's name) well anyhow i heard who is that guy he's cute and i was like where can i get to apolo and i was like oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh shortcut i can run up the steps and i ran as fast as i could and was running down the bleachers where apolo was and i was like apolo apolo apolo i love you sooooooooo much will you marry me b/c i love you sooooooo much and he was shocked but would not take his eyes off of me and he was hugging me and kissing me and like yea i will marry you and i was so excited and in shock and he was trying to calm me down but here's the funny part he said yea i will marry you but wait i can't right now b/c i am marrying someone this weekend but don't worry we will get married soon but he's not getting married it was just a dream so don't freak out thinking apolo is getting married b/c he's not so i just wanted to tell you my story/dream about apolo so here it is so i hope you liked it bye. diana |