[Cut to scenes of the wooded hills.]
NARRATOR: There isn't much good a deer can say about hunting season. Except that it only comes once a year. And maybe that it makes them appreciate the few wildlife preserves they have. Like the one your bambi came from.
[Cut to the Everwood Elementary school bus pulling up. The narrator's voice intersperses with Irv's voice.]
IRV: The safest, prettiest fawning site on Earth. Wild berries in the winter, all the thumb and clover you could hope for. But, it's not close. You've got a long day ahead of you.
EPHRAM: Four miles west. Another eight through Mountain Lion Pass, which I really wish was called Mountain Bunny Pass, till we see the sign for Penny Juniper Woodland. You can't miss it, and even if you do, you'll smell it.
IRV: I, I can't say that I had either of you two pegged as the camping type.
EPHRAM: Please. I'm rugged!
DR. BROWN: You think this beard's just for show? Don't worry, Irv. I've got a pack full of food, gortex everything and a new pair of boots.
IRV: Did you say, "new boots"?
[Both he and Ephram give Dr. Brown a look.]
[Cut to the Abbott home.]
DR. ABBOTT: [entering] Amy! Amy!
[Amy is sitting on the couch, reading a book.]
AMY: I didn't forget, I'll rake the lawn in [scans the pages] 19 pages.
DR. ABBOTT: Never mind, your chores are temporarily suspended. I need you to write a press bio on me for the Pinecone. Davenport needs it early afternoon.
AMY: I can't. I have a chem lab due and I have to write a villanelle for poetry, which I'm going to do... right after I find out what a villanelle is. And... I have to finish early so I can have tomorrow free to see Colin in Denver. I'm sorry.
DR. ABBOTT: You know your father has just received a rather prestigious award. It wouldn't hurt your college tuition account for the patient population to be reminded of his achievements.
[Amy snatches the letter from her father.]
AMY: What award? [reading the letter] Excellence and Dedication, that's great! How were you picked?
DR. ABBOTT: Oh, it's a complicated process. Simply put, they calculate which doctors have spent the greatest number of days attending to patients, without interruption.
AMY: What? Like an attendance award?
DR. ABBOTT: I'll need to proof it first. Knowing your facility with run-ons.
AMY: Forget it. Too busy, ask Bright.
DR. ABBOTT: Oh, well then I guess you don't really want that 'double-pierce'.
[Amy does a double take.]
AMY: You're kidding.
DR. ABBOTT: On my desk. By noon. No cartilage.
[Cut back to the woods.]
DR. BROWN: I appreciate you and Edna babysitting, Irv. It'll be good for Delia to see people live in a house together without yelling.
IRV: Happy to have her. Is he really gonna do this?
DR. BROWN: Little rule for a happy life: you can't stop a Brown from doing anything. You can only insist on coming along for the ride.
IRV: Well... then we'll see you tomorrow right here.
DR. BROWN: Yeah. I'll meet you right here by this ah, what do you call this landmarky thingee?
IRV: A landmark.
DR. BROWN: Right.
[They start trekking off. Irv stops Dr. Brown.]
IRV: Hey, Doc.
[He throws a package at Dr. Brown, who catches it.]
DR. BROWN: A flare gun?
