DR. BROWN: You gotta admit, it's a balmy day for mid-September.
DR. ABBOTT: The weather pattern we experience at this time of year is a typical Indian summer brought about by a northwesterly flow of the polar jet-stream which, coupled with our unique proximity to the mountains, turn pikes and stagnates the hottest pockets of air directly above our region. And as much as our town enjoys celebrating this anomaly, for those of us who are extra sensitive to the allergens in the air, this is not much of a fun week.
DR. BROWN: As opposed to those other weeks when you just like to party down.
DR. ABBOTT: As usual you make it difficult to hold a civil conversation with you, Doctor.
[He starts to leave.]
DR. BROWN: Thaw well!
DR. ABBOTT: [under his breath] Bite me.
[Cut to Dr. Brown's family clinic as he enters. The reception is packed with patients.]
DR. BROWN: Good morning everyone.
[They all usher their good mornings.]
EDNA: [to Dr. Brown] You're late, and this posse's getting hotter than a hooker's...
DR. BROWN: [cutting her off] ...don't finish that analogy, Edna. I haven't had my coffee yet.
[They exit towards one of the operating rooms.]
EDNA: Late night?
DR. BROWN: I answered my first house call.
EDNA: Aww. You finally busted the old cherry. Who with?
DR. BROWN: The Dudleys.
EDNA: On Forest Lane?
DR. BROWN: That's no lane. It took me half an hour to find the place, another hour and a half to examine every one of her kids.
EDNA: I hope you got some rest, 'cause we've got ourselves another packed house.
DR. BROWN: Oh, it never lets up, Edna, does it?
EDNA: Remind me and my tired feet just why it is that you are offering this thankless town free medicine?
DR. BROWN: Long answer is; I spent enough years making enough money off of other peoples' sickness. In order to swage my guilt, I wanted to do something incredibly altruistic. The short answer is: I'm nuts!
[Cut to County High. Ephram is at his locker as Amy approaches.]
AMY: OK. Give it to me.
EPHRAM: Excuse me?
AMY: Your academic update. You've been here a week. What do you think of your classes?
EPHRAM: I think they're as annoying and dull as my classes in New York. Only further west.
[Ephram closes his locker and they begin walking.]
AMY: I have to warn you. There's a move to issue the new kid a nickname.
EPHRAM: Why do I not like the direction this conversation is going?
AMY: Don't worry, it's an offensive tactic. The way I see it, at some point, as the new kid, you'll get a nickname. These labels are never kind. They're either fun or mean. Most are mean.
EPHRAM: I know. I have gym with Blackhead Davis.
AMY: See what I mean? Now, if you and I could go through some suggested nicknames, we'll have a real shot of making a fun one stick.
EPHRAM: You know, for the classic girl next door, you have a really warped mind.
AMY: Something in the water here.
EPHRAM: So, what's yours?
AMY: Me? They call me...
[Bell rings.]
AMY: [cont'd.] "Late for class."
[Amy heads off.]
