EPHRAM: Right here? I mean, in front of everybody?
AMY: Why not?
[They slowly lean in to each other and kiss. Then we hear an alarm clock buzzing. The real Ephram wakes up and looks under his sheets. The previous scene must have been just a dream.]
EPHRAM: Oh, damn it.
[Cut to laundry room/pantry. Ephram tries to shove his sheets in the washer. Dr. Brown walks in.]
DR. BROWN: What are you doing in here?
EPHRAM: What does one normally do in the laundry room? I'll give you one guess.
DR. BROWN: Since when do you do your own laundry?
EPHRAM: I spilled something on my sheets.
DR. BROWN: What did you spill?
EPHRAM: I, uh, I, uh. Chocolate milk.
DR. BROWN: When did we get chocolate milk?
EPHRAM: I don't know. All right? Will you stop asking me questions?
[Ephram has finally gotten his laundry in and running so he exits. Dr. Brown takes some pancake mix from the pantry portion of the room.]
DR. BROWN: I'm making pancakes. You want some?
EPHRAM: Go to hell!
[We hear a door slam shut.]
DR. BROWN: [lowering his voice] That's my boy.
[Dr. Brown exits.]
[Cut to a parked car. We see two feet get out of that car and walk a bit. Then we see those feet belong to Dr. Abbott. He sees a minivan parked in his spot. He looks around for the culprit, finding him to be Dr. Brown on a ladder, painting. Dr. Abbott walks across the street.]
DR. ABBOTT: Excuse me. Excuse me! EXCUSE ME!
[With the golf club he has in his hand, he taps the leg of Dr. Brown.]
DR. ABBOTT: Excuse me.
DR. BROWN: Yeah, can I help you?
DR. ABBOTT: Yeah, you're parked in my spot.
[Dr. Brown steps down, off the ladder.]
DR. BROWN: Your spot?
DR. ABBOTT: That is your black, foreign-made, sports utility vehicle with the New York State license plates, is it not?
DR. BROWN: Yes, it is.
DR. ABBOTT: That's my spot. Park there again and I'll have it towed.
DR. BROWN: Well, I'm sorry. I didn't see a name on the curb.
DR. ABBOTT: It's implied. It's front of my office.
DR. BROWN: Oh, you're the other doctor. How do you do? I'm Andy Brown.
[They shake hands but Dr. Abbott does not seem that receptive to it. It seemed forced somehow.]
DR. ABBOTT: I know you are. And if by "other doctor", you meant Everwood's primary care physician, then yes that would be me.
DR. BROWN: Some golfing weather, huh?
DR. ABBOTT: I happen to belong an indoor range.
DR. BROWN: Is that driver club title list?
DR. ABBOTT: It is.
DR. BROWN: Expensive. Can I see it?
[Dr. Abbott hands it over, delivering the following warning.]
DR. ABBOTT: Be careful. That club was used by none other than Tiger Woods himself in the '99 British Open. Purchased it on E-Bay.
DR. BROWN: No kidding. I'll have to tell him.
DR. ABBOTT: You know Tiger Woods?
DR. BROWN: Well, I operated on his uncle. Sweet kid. Listen, about this whole office thing, I just want to let you know that I'm not here to step on your turf.
DR. ABBOTT: My turf? That's rich. Nobody told you, did they?
DR. BROWN: Tell me what?
DR. ABBOTT: You know, I wouldn't waste your time turning this place into a doctor's office. No one will use it.
DR. BROWN: Why is that?
DR. ABBOTT: Because that building over there will continue to receive all of the patients in this community.
DR. BROWN: The flower mart?
DR. ABBOTT: The other one. My doctor's office.
DR. BROWN: How do you figure?
DR. ABBOTT: Because while you have been operating Tiger's uncle and getting your picture in Time, I have been the doctor in this community for over 15 years. Before me, it was my father.
DR. BROWN: Was it your father's father before him? Because that would be really cool.
DR. ABBOTT: Do what you want, sir. I'm just advising you not to waste your time.
DR. BROWN: Well, I appreciate your concern, Doctor, but I came from a long way to open this office and nobody is going to stop me.
