Him
He was tall and dark, with eyes of chocolate that loved to wink. A smile that curved in humor and sarcasm, a smile that was there even when he was not happy. He had hair of the night sky, a sky where the stars had abandoned it and the moon had found a new place to play. His hands were gentle, so gentle, and yet so strong. He loved to hug, wrapping her up in his arms. He smelled like dreams.
Her
She was small and innocent. Her eyes were deep, so very deep, and seemed to change. The grays of a storm, the blue of the sky, the blue-green of the ocean. She seemed to always be smiling, laughing. She was so happy it seemed. Her hair was always straight. She could never make it curl and it frustrated her. She loved to dance.
Dilemma
He loved her, more than he realized. More than he could ever realize. But he had a girlfriend. A sweet girl, a lucky girl, but it was not her. He liked another but could not bear to hurt this girl. He was friends with her as that was all he could be, hugging her when he could.
A Wish
He wished that he could be with her, and only her. He imagined the different possibilities of being with her, of holding her, kissing her. He wanted to hold her forever, to wrap her up in his arms and dream.
He Pretends
Of being happy, of enjoying his life. So much is wrong and yet he seems to always make the best of it. He complains, though he can be content. He can feign happiness for his mother. He pretends of being happy with who he is with.
Acting
She did it often. She had to. How could she like him? He was perhaps one of the biggest flirts she had ever known. And she had fallen for him and did not know how to get back up. She had to pretend that she did not like him, there was too much in the way. Too much could go wrong if he knew she liked him, if anyone knew she liked him.
What He Does
He talks to her like old friends, he flirts with her like another girl head-over-heals for him, he helps her like his sister, he loves her like a woman. She does not know. She does not realize his love for her, how deep it is. He winks at her, as if there was not another. He tells her she is pretty, that he thinks it is funny the way it makes her turn red when he says such things. He hugs her and tells her he loves her – always like that of a friend.
Feeling Close
He sees her and holds his arms out for her. She reaches up, thinking to hug. He sweeps her off her feet. He pulls her up and holds her high above him so that she could touch the stars, smiling that charming way he does. He does not realize the way that smile makes her melt. He sets her down and does not know how much she wants him to still be holding her, to still be smiling at her. He hugs her and she smiles back, wanting what was another’s.
Artist
She was a dreamer, a writer. Writing out people’s desires and feelings. She danced ballet and loved to listen to classical music for all hours of the night. She wished she could draw, frowning at her horrible picture of what she had meant to be a dog. She played the cello. She loved it, it gave her peace, it gave her an outlet. It was an opening for her to jump in and hide away from the world. It was what she gave her soul to. It was her passion. It was what separated her from the others. It was what he admired about her. He asked to be taught and she hesitated. She gave him a CD with a cello concerto on it, and said she would teach him. She wanted him to dream with her.
Kisses
They are not the kind he likes. They are those of a friend, of a boy flirting with a girl. But it is all he can offer. He holds his arms wide and she hugs him, breathing in his smell of dreams. He holds her tight and starts kissing her cheeks. But she does not think it is more than that of a friend. He starts to kiss her cheeks often, liking the way it makes him feel. He likes the way she blushes each time he does. She wants more than that, she wants the kiss of a man kissing a woman.
What He Does Not Realize
She likes him. She likes him more than she wants to. She has tried to fight it, but has given in. He does not realize she wants him to hug her, wants him to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her. He does not realize she wants to be with him. He does not realize how much it hurts her.
Dancing
She holds her hand out to his. She wants a dance, to dance in the rain. The sun is setting. He thinks it’s crazy, that she is crazy for wanting to do this and yet he loves her for it. “It’ll be fun,” she told him. And he took her hand and they danced. They swirled in the rain, in the night. She was radiant. She was drenched, but so beautiful. Her eyes shone blue as she laughed. He was drowning in her eyes.
Signing
She gave him her book. “Will you sign it?” It was so innocent, so subtle; he did not pick up on it. He did not realize that that was her offering her heart to him. He took it and gave her his. They signed, he pouring his soul out on the paper. He wrote how he felt about her … and yet, he did it in a way that he did not like. My friend, he wrote. You could not love a friend as much as he loved her. She read it later, when he was gone. Shimmering stars rolled down her cheeks as she finished.
Future
Someday he will ask her to dance in the rain, to dream with her.