For many years, man has pondered many things. We have thought great thoughts about God, the meaning of life, and how jello works. But there has been one question that above all else, has refused to be answered:
Can vegans swallow?
So, my droogies, I set out to find answers. Approaching those who claimed to be experts on the issue. "Gurus" of sorts. And so, withough further delay, I present my inquiry:
The Question
Hi. I'm an 18 year old female, and I've been recently trying to adapt to the vegan lifestyle. I've been going strong for about three months, but now I've come across something that I need to ask some guidance on. This is kind of embarrassing, hence my decision to do this anonomously online, but I have the following question: when performing oral sex on a man, is swallowing semen allowed within the rules of veganism? Any guidance you could give me would be appreciated. Thank you.
--DR
The Responses:
From Matthew Ball of VeganOutreach.org :
Veganism, to us, is a tool to fight animal cruelty. So oral sex, or a baby
nursing, isn't an aspect to be concerned about.
All the best!
-m
From Sarah of GoVegan.net :
Hi
You know what's funny... I get this question ALL the time.
I actually talk about it on page 27 of The Garden of Vegan. I hope that
helps.
Cheers,
SARAH
(enterprising young lady, huh?)
(And did she have to use "cheers"?)
From Sienna of The Vegan Voice :
Uh, I was hoping this was a joke; if not, sorry to laugh. It's just that
veganism is all about not abusing animals, and I just don't see what giving
someone a blow job has to do with that. Unless, of course, you've got the
poor guy tied up against his will!
Take it easy.
Cheers,
Sienna
(again, with that "cheers"...)
From Pauline Lloyd of another prominant vegan website (so I didn't exactly write these all down...)
I have never come across a written rule on this matter, so I can only offer you my own personal opinion here! I would say that if the semen is freely given and it does not involve any suffering that this would be OK, providing you find it acceptable. I presume that you have also contacted the Vegan Society?
If there are any formal guidelines on this matter, I am sure that they will
have them.
Best wishes,
Pauline Lloyd
From Leanne Daharja Veitch of VeganForLife.org :
Hi,
*laughs*
I get that question SO often - usually in mixed company and the presence of a lot of drinks!
The answer is - do what is right for you. If you're both consenting adults, it's your own choice.
Have fun and play safe.
--Leanne Daharja Veitch
From Erik Marcus of Vegan.com :
As long as you don't kill him after, it's OK.
--Erik Marcus
So there you have it. A (nearly) comprehensive look at the age-old question. I suppose in the end, we can concluded that semen, though an animal byproduct, is perfectly acceptable within a vegan diet, as long as the guy likes it.
Anyone else hearing "convenient lunchtime meal replacement" in the back of their heads?
I can be contacted at dark_wolf73@hotmail.com with any questions or comments you may have
Thank you, and goodnight.
(HumorLinks has funnier stuff. Go there.)