Author: Fai
Status: Complete
Spoilers: Watergate, slight ref to Need, Solitudes, The First Ones, Divide and Conquer, The Other Side and Scorched Earth.
Category: Team, Adventure/Action, Hurt/Comfort, Humor
Pairings: None
Season: Mid Season 4
Rating: PG-13
Content Warning: Minor cursing, mild violence. Welcome to my brain, proceed with caution, I don't even go in there alone.
Summary: An easy assignment gone wrong gives the team a whole new view of getting dirty.
Authors Note: The opening bit of fluff popped into my head while teaching someone about all things Minnesotan. Yes, Jacks plight has befallen all us natives at some point or another! Feedback is greatly appreciated and always responded to and thanked for. Love it or hate it, please say. Most things grow best when given both sunshine and rain. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
~~ * ~~
"Would you get that?" Jack yelled from his kitchen.
Daniel halted his table setting activities and moved to open Jack's front door.
"Hey Sam, Teal'c," Daniel greeted them while stepping aside and jerking his thumb towards the kitchen.
"Jack's still working on our mystery meal. I wouldn't try to get in there if I were you, he's a little... protective right now.
Sam flashed a quick hello smile and then continued trying to walk while juggling three large brown paper sacs. Daniel picked up his cue and relieved Sam of one of her burdens. Teal'c stood passively with one hand behind his back and the other balancing a small round brown bag on his open palm.
"So, what do you think the top secret meal is?" Sam whispered while craning her neck to peer into the kitchen.
"Well Major, you'll just have to wait to find that out with everyone else.
Man, he loved doing that, Jack thought as the major jumped at his unexpected appearance next to her. There was nothing like stopping a snoop in their tracks to make you smile. He saw her eyes narrow slightly. Oh yeah, she knew what was behind the big smile he was pointing at her. Better focus on Teal'c before she feels the need to retaliate.
"So Teal'c, what's in the bag?"
Teal'c bowed slightly and lifted the bag to eye level for inspection.
"I have procured a dessert item as you requested. It is a cake made of cheese. Major Carter assured me this would be quite acceptable.
Jack saw Daniel automatically open his mouth to correct him. Jack put his hand and his shoulder stopping him with a small headshake.
"Never mind. Daniel, Major, you two put this stuff in the kitchen and Teal'c, you can help me finish setting the table. Ah, and kids, no peeking.
Shooting Jack a look of minor annoyance, Daniel took the cheesecake from Teal'c and headed for the kitchen, followed closely by Sam. In the kitchen, Daniel's eyebrows raised in question before the words had made it to his lips as he took a look into Sam's bags.
"Uh, Sam. Exactly what kind of evening did you have in mind?"
Sam's face and tone took on her 'let's explain really important stuff to a small child' mode as she began pulling items from the bags and setting them on the counter. "Well, since the colonel wouldn't tell us what he was making, I wanted to be sure to bring the right complement. I brought a white, a red and a blush each in both a dry and a sweet. The Schnapps and the Bailey's are for after dinner and the beer is for, well, the colonel.
Daniel's eyes swept over the alcohol covered counter and landed on Sam in a sideways glance. "Oh.
Just then Jack swept into the kitchen with the intent of driving them away from the prized meal. He stopped short after catching sight of the counter. "Major, exactly what kind of evening did you have in mind?"
"She wanted to cover all the bases," Daniel answered with more conviction than his look portrayed.
"Oh. In the field, Sam's thoroughness was one of her best assets. However, he'd have to keep that in mind next time he decided to dole out dinner duties. She must have made quite an impression at the liquor store!
"Good thinking, Major," he managed to say without too much sarcasm, although she still eyed him a bit skeptically.
"Okay you two, out of my kitchen. Go join Teal'c. Dinner is coming right up.
Just as Daniel and Sam settled at the table with Teal'c, Jack swept in bearing a large baking pan. Setting it in the center of the table on two hot pads, he grandly pulled the top off with a flourish. He stood back waiting for the admiration to flow. Three blank faces stared at his masterpiece. Sam took a deep breath, cleared her throat and looked up at him with her best 'I'm a big girl, I can do this' look.
"What is it?"
"I have no idea," came from her left, silence from her right.
What do they mean, what is it? He opened his mouth to speak. Closed it again. Looked at each member of his team. They couldn't be serous. Well, Teal'c was always serious, but come on.
"Whaddaya mean, what is it? Look at it.
They all turned their gaze back to the dish. Jack saw Sam square her shoulders again.
"Well sir, it looks like a casserole, with 'tater-tots on top. Daniel?"
Daniel reached across with his fork, dipped it into the pan and pulled a healthy forkful out. He was giving it the same treatment Jack had seen him give hundreds of artifacts over their years as a team. Turning it from side to side, looking at it from topside, then bottom, finally sniffing it. Jack wondered if he could possibly be more annoyed.
"Looks like a bunch of different vegetables, meat, and sauce mixed together and topped with 'tater-tots.
"So, casserole. Casserole, sir?"
Three questioning faces turned as one. Yep, possible.
"Oh for crying out loud. It is not casserole. This," he cried in exasperation and waved for them to take another look. "This is 'Tater-tot Hotdish.
"Jack, it's a casserole.
Jack took a deep breath, unclenched his jaw and focused all his energy on not yelling. He turned his head at a tilt and spoke in the quiet tone his team knew was used only when one of them was injured or he wanted to injure one of them. "No Daniel, it is not a casserole. Anybody could make a casserole. This is a Hotdish. 'Tater-tot Hotdish to be exact and it's the best 'Tater-tot Hotdish around. This is a real treat back home.
"I'll bet," Daniel mumbled. Jack shot the archeologist a quick glare.
"O'Neill, are not all dishes that are kept in an oven for an extended period of time hot?"
"No. Well, yes. But it's not a dish that's hot Teal'c, it's a... Never mind. The proof is in the pudding, let's just eat. He gave up. Hotdish had to be tasted to be appreciated fully anyway.
"O'Neill, did you not just in fact tell us it was called hotdi....
"Ahh! Ahh! Eat. No talking. Just, eat. Jack could have sworn Teal'c did that on purpose.
"So Sam," Daniel whispered, "how do you want to complement this?"
"I'll just go get the beer.
"Sit, Carter. I'll get the beer. Jack grumbled under his breath the whole way into the kitchen and back. As he seated himself at the head of the table, he noted all three members digging in.
"You know sir," Sam said after a few bites, "this is really a pretty good cassa... Hotdish.
"Pretty good, Major?" Make them pay, they deserved it for doubting his skills at home cooking.
"All right Jack, it's very good. That's better.
"Yes sir, very good. A small smile took hold of Jack's lips.
"I concur O'Neill, this pudding is quite satisfactory. That does it! Jack knew he did that on purpose!
"Now cut that out Teal'c, you do that on purpose!"
"To what are you referring, O'Neill?"
Argue with Teal'c or eat?
"Never mind.
~~ * ~~
Two days later
"Good morning boys and girls. And how are we on this fine, fine day?" Jack rang out as he joined his team in the gateroom.
"It's five am and snowing like crazy out, Jack.
"Yes, Daniel, and we don't have to go out in it for four tropical... What is the temperature on P whatever?"
"62 degrees Sir.
"For four invigorating days. What could be better than that?"
"You're in an awfully good mood today, sir. Sam had that wary look again, the same one that Rocky gave Bullwinkle every time he tried to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
"Something wrong with that, Major?" He put his most innocent expression on.
He didn't want to let on just how much he was looking forward to an easy assignment. One where they would have time to just be a team. Maybe even smooth some relationships that had gotten ruffled over the past few missions.
"No sir, it's just...
"Different.
"Spooky.
"It is somewhat unusual, O'Neill.
Before Jack could formulate a suitable response, General Hammond piped up from the control room. "SG1, you have a go. We'll see you in four days.
Jack turned and gave Hammond a small wave, salute gesture and headed up the ramp after his team. They still were a team, and a damn fine one despite the hellacious last few months. Between za'tarcs, Russians, Unases, or Uni, and he and Daniel falling on opposite sides of assorted alien feuds, they were lucky to be alive, let alone on speaking terms. Not one trip through the gate had gone without major complications and each complication had put a strain on the team individually and on their relationships with each other.
Jack knew that Hammond had earned the rank of general by knowing when to push and when to rest his people. SG1 had purposefully been given a literal four-day walk in the park. This was the perfect chance to put everything back in place. He believed actions spoke louder than words. Dinner the other night had been a start, but now they would all be together doing what they do and they would fit. Jack knew it and he was going to make sure his team knew it before the end of this mission.
Jack was the last one through the gate. It deposited them onto a planet that held a beautiful open field edged with trees, topped with blue sky, filled with clean air and had shown no signs of habitation. Their goal was a full days walk from the gate. There they would find an enormous body of water that was a possible nearly endless fresh water supply and land that yielded an unknown reading that was a source of great interest to Carter. Sam couldn't say what it was yet and Jack could tell that it was ten times as exciting to her as a planet made entirely of Naquadah would have been.
"Which way, Carter?"
"Dead ahead, sir" Sam replied with a nod in the right direction.
"No dead. Straight, Major. Straight ahead," Jack corrected.
He wasn't being superstitious he told himself, just cautious, that's all. No point-poking fate in the nose. Sam looked to be holding back a slight grin when she replied. "Right, sir, that way.
Jack automatically took lead; Sam fell in behind him with Daniel and Teal'c side-by-side bringing up the rear. They were too good a team to be lackadaisical, but the situation only warranted a minimum of caution and Jack set a leisurely pace. Daytime seemed to be about two hours longer than on Earth, so they should make it to the site in plenty of time to set up camp before losing the light. Sporadic conversation broke out but mostly they all moved together in a companionable silence.
Years acting as one unit had made their motions automatic and comfortable. Without effort, they would arrive, set up camp, eat, work out watch rotation and raise in the morning to great the sun. Jack looked at his team and couldn't help but think, it was all good.
~~ * ~~
Jack's spirits were high when he woke and were being bolstered each passing minute of good weather and no signs of impending doom. He spent all morning wandering the area with Teal'c, pretending to keep watch while Carter took and logged loads of samples and Daniel did whatever it was he did. Jack's only error was passing a bit to close to a major in full swing.
"Sir, this is amazing! There is something in this soil that is completely foreign. It's like nothing I've ever seen. It seems to have a conductive property to it, yet it also seemed to bounce the signal from the UAV back at an amplified level rather than letting the signal pass through. It also appears to be natural to the planet, but it is at extremely concentrated levels in this whole area. Sir, I'd like to spread out a little beyond our initial scope to see if it stays at the same levels of concentration along the shoreline. That way I can run a comparison between that, the samples from here and the samples I took from the area around the gate.
Jack found himself on the receiving end of a look of pure scientific ecstasy and eagerness. It was a look that two faces used to hold on a much more regular basis. He was pleased to see it and really didn't want to do anything that might extinguish it. Maybe he could even figure a way to infect the other face at the same time.
"I think that can be arranged, Major. How long to finish up here?"
He was rewarded with a sizable flash of white teeth.
"Not long, sir. I can be ready as soon as Daniel is.
He watched in amazement, as she was already packing up and stealing quick glances down the shoreline obviously plotting how far she could talk him into venturing. He turned to find Teal'c scrutinizing him with the perpetual eyebrow query.
"What?"
"I believe you will locate DanielJackson over that ridge.
Jack held the Jaffa's gaze a moment longer.
"Thanks.
"Thank you, O'Neill.
Jack knew what the thank you was for; Teal'c had missed that look as much as he had. If he succeeded with Daniel, he will have succeeded with all three of his team members. Damn good thing, thought Jack, he was afraid he was going to have to hunt down a minor Goa'uld or two for the Jaffa to rip apart as his reward. Thank God his team's bonds with one another were still strong enough to let them feel each other's pleasure. Of course that meant they would still feel each other's pain, but he was NOT going there right now. No, right now he needed to find Daniel and set him loose on an alien planet. Better then your dad's car keys and twenty bucks on a Saturday night.
Jack caught up to Daniel as he was kneeling down for a very close inspection of what looked like a rock to Jack. He seemed to sense his sun being blocked and peered up to find Jack the cause.
"Found a new rock to play with I see.
"Jack, I don't think this is just a rock. I mean there is no marking on it, writing or otherwise, but there are a series of these making a sort of pattern that doesn't seem to be naturally occurring. It looks like it continues on right along the shoreline. Of course this isn't conclusive since we're looking at an extremely small segment and there's nothing we've seen to indicate there has ever been any inhabitants on this planet. Then again there is a Stargate which means someone had to have been here at least once and that seems like a lot of work to put a Stargate here with no one to use it, but there should be something somewhere to tell us who they were and when they were here.
As words finally stopped flowing from Daniel's mouth, Jack was suddenly grateful Carter and Daniel needed to breathe occasionally. If they didn't, he'd never get a chance to speak. Not that he ever had all that much to say.
"So, it's a rock.
"Yes, Jack, it is a rock but it could be an indication of something... Daniel's hands were now flailing around, seemingly trying to grab just the right word from the air.
"More.
Jack figured the small word was for his sake, which meant he knew what would be coming next. There was the look that signaled the wind up which would no doubt be followed closely by, here it comes ...the pitch.
"Jack. I know the scope was limited to this area, but if I could just follow this a little further along the shoreline, it could help us determine if it was intentional or not.
"Alright.
"Sam may even be able to get some more samples that could help her figure out what this mystery mineral is.
"Okay.
"After all General Hammond did give us four days and we've done all we need to do here so...What did you just say?"
"I said yes, Daniel. Go pack up what you need and we'll get Carter. I'll give you two hours walk. Jack watched as Daniel blinked a few times and appeared to be absorbing this new turn of events. He had been hoping for ecstatic and eager. Bewildered would do for now.
"I'll be ready in five.
Daniel hurried off, no doubt wanting to be ready and moving before Jack could change his mind. Jack gave Teal'c the signal for 'don't let him trip over his excitement and break anything' and set off to corral a blonde major.
~~ * ~~
Daniel and Sam were ready to move in record time. Jack kept his word and allowed the pair to lead him and Teal'c along the shoreline for a full two hours. Every now and then, one or the other would stop and look or take another sample. Mostly they just hurried on with heads bent towards one another in some flurry of scientific conversation. Jack and Teal'c brought up the rear silently enjoying the show. Finally, Jack called a halt.
"This is it. Two hours, then we head back. Have fun.
They needed no further prompting. After he and Teal'c had made certain there really was no danger in the area, Jack figured the time for him to do what he did had come. Of all of his skills, he took the most pride in his self-taught gift of doctor-bother. This was otherwise known as, waiting for Daniel and Carter to become totally absorbed in doing what they love and then emulating a five year old that had mastered the art of asking inane questions. It was his duty, after all an annoying team leader was a happy team leader and a happy team leader was a more productive team leader. He really owed it to them to give it his all.
"So Daniel, solved the riddle of the ruins yet?"
"They're not really ruins, Jack.
"Oh that's right, they're rocks aren't they?" First signs of face contortion. He had him on the line.
"They're not just rocks. There was a definite continuation of the pattern the whole way here. I can't tell how far down they go, but I haven't found anyplace I have been able to dig to the bottom of one. They almost seem to be a barrier between the mineral rich soil Sam's after and the water's sand base.
"So they're long rocks. We followed a big trail of long, underground wall rocks.
Further face scrunching and a tightening of the shoulders. Hook, line and sinker, just reeling him in. "Well, since we aren't underground, I can't really be sure of that. And even if we did know that for sure, it still doesn't explain how or why someone would build a wall underground.
"Ants. Really big, he held his hands apart to illustrate his point. ants?"
Mouth tightening into a pursed line, eyes flashing. And he's in the net! "Jack, don't you have someplace else to be? Someplace not here.
Jack bit back his smile and tried for nonchalant as he moved away in favor of one blonde major. One down, two to go.
"Hey, Carter. Named your new mineral yet?"
"Well sir, I'm not sure if it is a mineral yet. Once we know a little more about it, we'll be able to come up with a scientific name.
"Scientific, smientific. You found it, you name it.
Small lines of wariness form around the eyes. He dribbles down court. "There is a lot of work to do and many other people will be involved before we get to that point.
"All the more reason to name it now before anyone else takes credit. How about CarterClay?"
Cheek twitching, shoulders back. He stops, pivots and shoots. "I would really like to get all these notes down before we have to leave, sir.
"Samsonite?"
Head tilt, chin jut, small swivel. Swish, through the net and two points! "Sir, don't you have something more pressing to be doing? Something not here.
Two for two. He is good. Now for the big guy. This may take a bit more doing.
"Having fun, Teal'c?"
"Indeed I am. However, not as much as it would appear you are, O'Neill.
Uh oh, Teal'c was on to him. Time to beat a hasty retreat and regroup. He had time. Speaking of which, he carefully avoided the Jaffa's eye and checked his watch.
"Times up kids, back to base camp. Don't say it, Daniel. Pack it up and move it out.
He saw Sam and Daniel exchanged a small shrug. He could tell they knew today had been for them and even Daniel couldn't argue with that. They all prepared for the long trek back to camp. They were only a few minutes into their return trip when Jack noticed they all were more or less staring at their feet. Something didn't feel right. They slowed to a natural stop.
"Sir, doesn't the ground feel a little...squishy?"
"Squishy, major?"
Daniel was moving from side to side with a quizzical look on his face.
"It does feel kind of spongy.
"Spongy, Daniel?"
"I am in agreement, O'Neill. The ground feels considerably more unstable then it did on our walk here.
Finally, a term he could deal with.
"Unstable I can deal with. Teal'c, you take point, single file, I'll take our six. Watch where you step. Try to avoid areas that are too...squishy.
He wasn't happy with the turn of events, but he wasn't ready to panic yet. He stepped aside to allow a blushing major to follow Teal'c and then Daniel. What had been a two hour stroll earlier in the day was slowly becoming a march of agony. With every step, they seemed to be pulled deeper into the ground and it was becoming a struggle to make any progress. Jack checked his watch again. Two hours had passed and they were barely a quarter of the way back to camp. Jack called a break and everyone immediately dropped to the ground, even Teal'c. On the plus side, the ground seemed to form to them creating a dirt chair of sorts. That was if anything about a planet becoming a giant beanbag could be considered a plus.
"Well this is fun. Carter, any ideas?"
"None, sir. It doesn't make any sense.
He glanced over to Teal'c and Daniel, both of who responded with a negative headshake. Jack ran options over in his head. None of them were very good.
"Let's give it ten and head out again. Maybe it's not like this all the way back.
Jack noted that Daniel had ended up next to one of his 'rocks'. As usual, he couldn't resist an opportunity and Jack watched as he pulled a small shovel from his pack. The dirt certainly was soft enough; maybe now he could see how far down it went. Daniel didn't seem to notice them all watching him and the dirt with passing interest. Daniel dug out shovel after shovel of soil, but didn't seem to be making any progress. Sam moved closer to get a better look, blocking Jack's view in the process.
"Daniel," Sam said quietly and with a bit of awe.
"Is the dirt moving by itself to fill the hole back up?" What?
"Yeah. I thought it was just me seeing that," was his equally awestruck answer.
Now might be a good time to start worrying. Jack struggled to sit up out of the 'chair', but before he could build up any steam, he felt it. The ground literally disappeared around them before he was even able to register what was happening. There was a sudden sensation of falling and hitting the ground with a soft thud. As darkness claimed him, Jack's final thought was, Carter should never have said dead.
~~ * ~~
Jack woke with a start, pulling his head up sharply. He let out a quiet moan as the world did one crazy loop-de-loop then settled back into place. He focused on Teal'c, who was sitting cross-legged next to the prone body of Daniel.
"You okay, Teal'c?"
"I am uninjured, as is MajorCarter. How are you, O'Neill?"
"Fine," he stated as he struggled into a sitting position. He caught sight of Sam sitting on the other side of Daniel.
"Major?"
"I'm fine sir, just a little banged up. It looks like Daniel collided with Teal'c's staff weapon on the way down. We haven't been able to rouse him yet.
Jack nudged closer and spotted a small trickle of blood seeping from behind Daniel's ear. Carter dabbed it with one hand before it made its way forward to his face while fishing the rest of the supplies from the med-pack with the other hand. In less than a minute, the bandage was in place and the bleeding seemed to slow to a stop. He watched as she and Teal'c gently rolled Daniel onto his back and tried to arrange him comfortably.
Satisfied all was being done that could be, Jack began to assess their situation. He did a quick inventory of supplies while Teal'c did some minor exploration of the surrounding areas. Sam kept fussing around Daniel, seemingly trying to wake him by sheer force of thought. They all had had enough head injuries to know the longer he was out, the more serious it could be. It wasn't long before they were all back where they had started. Jack began thinking out loud; hoping it would make more sense then it seemed to in his head.
"We were on our way back to camp. We took a break and discovered this planet seems to have dirt that moves. Then we fell in a hole. How'm I doing?"
"Sounds about right, sir.
"Hole?"
All eyes moved to the source of the questions and then followed his gaze up.
Teal'c stood and inspected the ceiling above them gently using his staff to prod at it. Nothing happened.
"DanielJackson is correct. There appears to be solid earth above us.
They brought their attention back to Daniel, who was struggling to sit up. Sam put out a hand and steadied him.
"You okay?" she queried.
Daniel closed his eyes, swallowed convulsively a few times and appeared to be struggling to keep his lunch in place. Again, they all knew the joy that was nausea and head injuries going hand in hand. Finally he seemed to win the battle and leaned back against the cave wall.
"Rocks," he replied as he settled back.
Sam frowned as she caught the colonel's eye.
"Daniel?" Sam queried.
"Rocks?" Jack was starting to wonder just how hard a knock he had taken.
"Rocks. Daniel kept his eyes closed as he patted his hand on the ground around him. Jack watched, letting a small frown show. Daniel was never one to be monosyllabic.
Sam perked up as the statement apparently fell into place. "He's right sir, he's leaning against the rocks we saw above. They really do create an underground wall, and floor too.
She glanced at Daniel, whose eyes were still closed. "But I could have sworn when we fell, I hit soft ground.
"As did I.
"Yep, me too.
"Lights.
Jack noted Daniel's eyes were open again, good sign. No lights when falling or now, bad sign.
"I didn't see any lights.
"I think that's what he means, sir, the lights, or lack of them. We're presumably underground, we have no light source and yet we can all see just fine.
Jack glanced around the cave. There did seem to be a glow throughout the area that allowed them to see, but nothing to indicate where it was coming from.
"This just gets better and better.
"Radio?"
"Would you stop that!"
Jack's response was automatic and loud, causing Daniel to wince and let his head fall forward to his chest. Damn it, this was not how this mission was supposed to go! They were supposed to be relaxing, bonding, any other 'ing' other than falling. Now he was yelling at his injured team member who also happened, as usual, to be noticing things before anyone could catch up with him. Jack would never say it to his face, but Daniel's attention to detail and quick thinking had gotten them out of more than one mess. There was just something about having it thrown at him one word at a time that was unnerving as hell and more then a little aggravating.
Now he felt like a heel on top of a mission that was quickly going down hill. He put his hand on Daniel's arm giving it a slight squeeze. The soft tone from dinner that was a man holding his tongue became the soft tone that was a man holding his friend.
"Daniel, it would only work if we know when someone was up there listening. We can't be sure when, or if, Hammond would send someone after us.
"Besides Daniel, the UAV signal was bounced back. The same thing could happen with our radios. We wouldn't even know if we were getting through to the surface," Sam added gently.
Jack felt better when Daniel brought his head back up, although the fact he had his eyes closed again gave him pause. Jack mentally pushed everything else away. This isn't about anything other than getting his team home safely anymore. He got up to move around; he thought better while on his feet.
"We think we're underground on a planet where soil moves by itself, we have a limited supply of food and water. We can't go up since up doesn't appear to be there anymore. No one is expecting to hear from us for about 56 hours. Radios are pretty much useless. We can see with no light and we have a concussed Daniel. That about cover it?"
He expected no response and got none. Running a frustrated hand across his face, Jack muttered under his breath, "Where's a white rabbit when you need one?"
Catching the look on Teal'c, Jack held up a hand. "Never mind.
Jack looked around the area again and made up his mind. "Staying here won't do us any good. Daniel, can you walk?"
Daniel's eyes were open again at a squint. His head was back and he seemed to be focusing on the non-hole above.
"Down," he stated while briefly pointing up.
Now Jack was worried. He crouched down next to the man and spoke softly. "No Daniel, that's up. Can you get up so we can get you to Fraiser?"
"No, sir.
"No, sir?"
"No, sir. Look," Sam was pointing up as well.
Teal'c stood and reached out his hand. He was able to touch the ceiling with his fingertips, where earlier he had to use his staff to reach it. He glanced back to the colonel.
"Crap. Alright Danny boy, let's move.
With Sam and Jack's help, Daniel was standing, though slightly angled and bracing himself against the rock wall by one arm.
"Judging by where the rocks are, I'd say the gate is that way. No sooner had Jack said the words and pointed to his left, than the tunnel became a wall made of ground. A wall that was slowly invading their personal space and giving Jack an ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He eyed the wall with unease and made another command decision.
"So, we go that way," Jack stated changing course and pointing right. He made sure Sam had a hand on their angled archeologist before taking the lead.
Yep, better and better.
~~ * ~~
The foursome had been maneuvering through the tunnel for over three hours. Jack wasn't feeling any better about Daniel since he had cut back from one-word sentences to none in those hours. The tunnel walls had also narrowed as they walked, forcing them to continue on single file. Without Sam's support, he noted Daniel's hand never lost contact with the wall and his focus seemed to be solely on the backs of Sam's feet. He'd kept up with them without complaint but Jack tried to keep the pace down a notch. Not that how much progress they made seemed to make a difference. One dirt tunnel looked the same as the next.
"Sir?"
"I know, major. Squishy. Teal'c, tunnel still folding up behind us?"
Jack knew the answer already, but looked to Teal'c for confirmation anyway. All checks had proven the same thing; the tunnel had been stopping when they did and continued with them as well. There was no going back, only onward and only where it chose to lead them.
"It is.
Frustrated, Jack called them to a stop. He needed to get Daniel to Fraiser, they were running short on water and they were all exhausted and covered head to toe in dirt. He glanced at Teal'c and his staff weapon. Not the smartest idea, but he was getting desperate. A shot could blast their way to freedom, or bring the whole moving tunnel down on top of them.
"Carter, take Daniel and head down the tunnel and wait. Teal'c and I are going to try a little experiment. If we don't meet up with you within half an hour, go on without us.
Sam would never question an order verbally. She caught his eye and saw her equally unspoken answer. She gave an affirmative head nod and wished Teal'c luck with a glance. The fact that Daniel didn't question told Jack trying to expedite their escape was a necessary evil. He gave them a fifteen-minute head start then turned to Teal'c. The same unspoken dance he'd had with Carter took place. A slight head nod in response let Jack know Teal'c understood the plan and the reason behind it. His first target was the tunnel behind them to test the waters before shooting upwards towards the surface. He turned and primed the staff. That's as far as he got. Everything next happened all at once.
The ground rose up around Jack's legs effectively pinning him in place and he saw it do the same to Teal'c. He reached for the Jaffa and called out as an area of the soil compacted together into a cinderblock type formation. The block surged forward at the Jaffa's chest, knocking the wind out of him while other areas moved forward and enveloped the staff weapon, trying to pull it from his grip. Jack could see the determination on his friend's face as he struggled for the weapon.
Jack reached out to Teal'c and then began cursing and pulling at his own legs in an effort to free them. The ground held firm. He saw Teal'c clench his jaw and give one almighty tug on the weapon. The soil-rock flew towards the Jaffa again, this time hitting him hard enough for Jack to hear his shoulder being popped out of joint. Teal'c cried out in pain and frustration as the blow had effectively loosened his hold, and the battle for the staff was lost.
Jack reached out towards Teal'c again and saw agony and defeat written on his face as he watched the weapon disappear into the swirling black mass. The ground swell quieted as quickly as it had risen. Jack and Teal'c were released, the Jaffa falling to his knees, clutching his shoulder and biting back a growl of pain. Jack was at his side in an instant trying to support him and keep an eye on the now normal looking walls.
"Can you move?" Jack asked turning all his attention to his teammate for a moment.
He was in obvious pain, but he nodded an affirmative. Jack helped his friend to his feet. There was no way he was letting go of Teal'c right now. They turned as one. The walls seemed to sense Jack's state of mind and widened to allow them to move on side by side. Jack lending support and eyeing the walls skeptically, Teal'c maintaining his cradle hold on his shoulder but pointedly moving in the direction of his two teammates.
~~ * ~~
Sam was on her feet instantly when she caught sight of him and Teal'c approaching. Daniel stayed seated but flashed a quick smile that was immediately replaced with a scowl of concern when he spied his two friends. Jack saw his eyes traveling back and forth between the two trying to decipher who was assisting whom. Jack made a slight head tip in Teal'c's direction and saw Daniel's eyes finally settled on the arm that was still supporting the misshapen shoulder. With no head injury to slow her down, Sam was already simultaneously poking, prodding, helping the colonel guide Teal'c to the ground and digging through the med-kit before Daniel had even formed the question they all knew would come.
"What happened?"
"Well, Daniel, it appears the ground doesn't like being shot at. Got kind of nasty about it, in fact. I don't suppose Junior can snap a shoulder back into joint?"
"It can not.
"'Fraid of that. Carter, give me a hand, will ya?"
Sam and Jack looked each other in the eye. They both knew this wasn't going to be fun, even for someone with a pain threshold as high as Teal'c seemed to have. Sam moved into position. Together they quickly snapped the shoulder back into place. Teal'c somehow managed to keep his cry to a rumble of pain that came from deep in his throat. Jack noticed Sam's face was scrunched up the way he had seen it when she had to set his broken leg while they were trapped in Antarctica. Daniel still had a glazed quality to his expression but empathy came through in they way his brows were knit together and his jaw and hands were clenched.
Jack realized the young man's look probably mirrored his own and made a conscious effort to adopt a more confident pose. He was once again reminded that they really could feel each other's pain. Turning his attention back to Carter and Teal'c, he could see concern in her every movement as she told Teal'c she was pretty sure he had a broken collarbone to go along with the shoulder. Teal'c assured her, his symbiote would take care of the injury. Each was trying to comfort the other in their own way. Daniel's lack of interaction was acutely apparent and Jacks confident look slipped into a frown. Jack caught Sam's attention and subtly gestured towards Daniel.
"He's still pretty out of it, but he seems to be stable for now. I'll feel better once Janet has had a look at him," Sam softly replied as her gaze moved between her two injured teammates.
"We'll get him there, Major, Teal'c too. Jack saw trust in her eyes behind the quiet and habitual 'yes, sir' she gave him.
God, he hoped he deserved it. He wondered when exactly this day had gone so off course. He glanced at his watch. Actually, it was now a new day and this one didn't look to be any more promising. Hammond would be expecting them in 32 hours. Trying to give his team as much rest as he could, Jack decided they would take time to eat and drink what they could now.
The meal passed mostly in silence. Jack managed to coerce some water into Daniel, but he waved away any attempts at food, gesturing to indicate his stomach was still bothering him. Teal'c also drank a bit of water and then closed his eyes, Jack assumed, to let Junior do some repair work. Carter nibbled while alternately watching her friends in an effort to assess their conditions and looking to Jack for reassurance. Far too soon they were again trudging around a tunnel that was still closing in behind them.
~~ * ~~
The pattern of resting and walking repeated itself a few times over. Jack had lost count of how many times they'd stopped when he sensed rather than saw the tunnel change position. The whole walk had seemed to be twisting and turning and he had lost direction long ago. This felt different. The walls themselves turned in on them. They all seemed to feel the change and had unconsciously stopped moving. As sudden as the attack on Teal'c had been, this one was even more so since Jack was unaware of any provocation for this uprising. Jack and Teal'c's feet and legs were again immobilized. Daniel had come to rest against the wall, which now formed around him, holding him in place.
The three struggled to no avail. Jack was held firm and from the looks of it, Daniel and Teal'c were doing no better. Jack could see Sam as she made a tentative step towards them. Before she could take another step, the ground pushed her up until she was standing on a mound at least two feet above Teal'c's head. He saw panic in her eyes as two tentacles of dirt wove their way around her ankles. He automatically lunged towards her when she suddenly jerked forward as if pushed with great force from behind. His attempt to break free was futile and he watched helplessly as she landed in a heap at Daniel's feet.
Sam let out a howl as she landed with bone shattering force on her left arm. The cry was still ringing in his ears as Jack was released. In that same heartbeat, Jack saw Daniel being dropped to the ground next to Sam. Both he and Teal'c moved on automatic pilot. Jack to assist Sam, Teal'c to Daniel. Sam was sitting up just as Jack reached her. She pulled her hand to her chest and brought her knees up in a defensive posture and she was rocking slightly. His peripheral vision caught sight of Daniel and Teal'c coming to rest by Sam's side. He waited until the major was able to stop biting her lip and look at him to speak.
"Let's see, Carter.
With a grimace of pain, Sam held her hand and wrist out for Jack to see.
"That looks bad," Daniel stated flatly.
"Is that your professional opinion, Doctor Jackson?"
Daniel threw a dirty look in Jack's direction then returned his focus to Sam. Jack caught the look and, in an odd way, was heartened by it. He hadn't really meant to snap at him, especially since it was the first time he had spoken in hours, but it was a Daniel like response and a good thing from Jack's point of view. He drew his attention back to Sam's wrist noting that is was already swollen and turning purple. Daniel was right. It looked bad.
"I think it's just bruised, sir. I can wiggle my fingers," Sam stated through clenched teeth as she proceeded to wiggle said fingers.
Jack helped Sam off with her backpack, setting it on the tunnel floor. He then did what he thought was a pretty decent patch job on her wrist. Once he was sure the wrist was wrapped securely, he turned to grab a sling out of Sam's pack. It was gone.
"Where'd it go?"
"The dirt took it.
All heads turned to stare at Daniel.
"What?"
"The dirt took it.
"Why didn't you say... Never mind.
He could yell. He could reason. He could slap him in the back of the head. None seemed very productive right now. Jack put his fingers to the bridge of his nose, rubbed his eyes and reminded himself he was dealing with the head dented version of Daniel. Besides, deep down he knew even if Daniel had said something none of them would have won a wrestling match with the dirt for it.
"Crap.
"Sir, I've been thinking. Jack wondered idly if there was ever a time she wasn't thinking. He put his best-interested team leader look on and gave her the silent go ahead. Sensing her permission granted, Sam went on. "The substance we found in the soil has conductive properties. There is obviously some type of intelligence controlling what's happening here. It could be sending signals via the substance so that it's really become one collective being, or maybe what we detected was a life form in itself.
Sam stopped and looked expectantly at him. He was sure she wanted some response, he just didn't have a clue what that would be. He looked to Teal'c, who appeared to be giving great thought to her words. Daniel looked to be asleep. He was on his own. He turned back to Sam and opened his mouth hoping something intelligent would come out.
"Russia. Nope, not asleep. Cryptic, but not asleep.
"Exactly!"
"Huh?"
"When the Russian gate was active, sir, they went through to a planet where they thought the gate was underwater.
"I was there, Carter. Not water, aliens. Lots of unhappy, wet aliens. Jump ahead.
"Sir, the entities were upset that we had taken some of their 'people' hostage when we took samples and they held Daniel, Dr. Markov and I to use in trade. We've taken a large number of samples here.
It took Jack a few minutes to mull that over. He finally stated with open disbelief. "We've already pissed off water and now we've pissed off dirt?"
"Technically, Jack, the Russians pissed off the water.
Now was so not the time for Daniel to go verbal on them again.
"We are being held hostage and attacked by a rabid pack of Samsonites. I don't care who pissed it off. Carter, they just made off with their buddies in a bag. Shouldn't they be letting us go now?"
"We have not yet made an attempt to leave this place since their retrieval.
Trust Teal'c to point out the obvious. Jack looked over his crew. Daniel seemed pale, though it was hard to tell through all the dirt, and he had his eyes closed again. Teal'c was still blatantly favoring his shoulder. Carter was cradling her arm unconsciously. They all had lines of pain drawn on their faces and none had had enough to eat or drink in two days. Being filthy was so obvious it didn't need noting.
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go, kids.
It took a lot longer than it should have, but eventually they all made it to their feet. A few steps into the march for freedom found all four walls squaring up tightly around them. There was no chance of going forward or back.
"Oh, come on!" Jack yelled at the walls. He spun around in frustration and looked questioningly his team.
"Don't look at me, sir.
"I have no idea.
"MajorCarter's hypothesis may be incorrect.
"Ya think?"
Teal'c's only response was to raise an eyebrow. Daniel dropped back to the floor and Sam stared at the traitorous walls. After a few minutes of awkward silence, there was a soft shuffling sound coming from the bottom part of the wall. Sam's pack magically appeared at Jack's feet.
"Okay. Now what?"
Four sets of eyes stared at the pack. Finally, Daniel moved his gaze to Jack. "Jack. Set their people free.
Jack shot Daniel a look that could melt ice, which bounced right off the archeologist's Jack-thickened skin. Jack took a deep breath. What the hell, they'd run into stranger things. He bent down and began methodically undoing all of Carter's hard work. The team watched as each vial was emptied out onto the ground where it was quickly absorbed back into the fold. When the last vial was emptied, one wall began to open back up. The team struggled to their feet and followed.
It wasn't long before the tunnel floor began to feel like it had a slight slope upward to it and Jack was pretty sure he saw a light at the end of it. Mercifully, it wasn't too long before they were helping each other out of the ground back onto, well, ground. As long as it was ABOVE ground, Jack thought.
He was so excited when he realized they had been let out within sight of the Stargate he automatically let out a loud "YES!" causing Daniel to cringe, Sam to give in to a tiny smile and Teal'c to look like he always did. He turned just in time to catch the tunnel closing back into solid ground. Jack took a good look at his motley crew under the harsh light of day.
"Major?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Any chance we're covered in hitchhikers?"
Three weary faces looked back at him.
"Never mind. Let's go home.
~~ * ~~
General Hammond glanced at his watch when he heard the gate activate. Could be SG-1. Almost two hours early but they were the only team scheduled to dial in that day. Maybe he had gauged wrong and the assignment was too uneventful for them. They were the best and taking it easy wasn't any of their styles. He headed off to greet whoever the arrivals may be.
"It's SG-1's signal, sir," he was told as he stepped into the control room.
"Open the iris," the general stated as he headed down to the gateroom.
The door slid open, allowing the general into the gateroom just as the wormhole spit out the most bedraggled group of people the general had seen in quite some time. In fact, the last time he saw a group this bad, it was SG-1 after spending a few days in the mines on Shyla's planet. He sent up a silent prayer that no one was engaged, had made any friends or was addicted to anything.
"Colonel O'Neill? What in the devil is going on? What happened?"
"We made dirt mad. It was bad dirt, sir.
The general stood with his mouth ajar. He'd heard a lot of strange things in his time at the SGC, but how does one respond to that?
"If you don't mind General Hammond, sir, I'm just gonna take my team down to medical. I also thought a shower might be in order.
A stunned Hammond watched as the four of them dragged themselves out of the gateroom. This had better be one hell of a debriefing!
~~ * ~~
Jack lingered in the doorway to the infirmary. He could see Teal'c standing between his teammates' hospital beds. He appeared to be back in perfect health. Jack assumed he could chalk that up to a long shower and some major kel'no'reem time. He had a passive look on his face that only those close to him would recognize as pleasure. Jack could hear the easy banter between the two scientists and knew this was the source of the content look on the Jaffa's face.
He hung back; not wanting to disturb the mood and warm feelings he could feel flowing from his friends. Maybe this hadn't been the perfect mission he had hoped for, but at this moment, his world was right. He tuned back in to see what had Daniel and Carter so excited.
"I can't believe four whole days and we come back with nothing! Not one sample," Sam complained.
"We never got to really try to communicate with them. Or it," Daniel corrected himself.
"I would love to know if the substance we were detecting was how the entities communicated or if it was an entity in itself.
"I'd like to know what the rocks were in place for. To protect it from the water, to keep out intruders, to keep in something else.
"Or what would have happened if we had taken soil that had no trace of the substance.
"I don't think our injuries were intentional, I think they'd be open to communicating with us. Do you think Jack would let us go back?
Uh oh, he better stop the snowballing curiosity before it ran them all over again.
"Down, you two," Jack stated emphatically as he appeared next to Teal'c.
"We are NOT going back to that planet. No way. No how. No. N - O. Not gonna happen.
Oops, two sets of blazing blue eyes were now trained on him. He held up the peace offering he had brought from home. He had somehow managed to convince Fraiser to let him go home to shower in his own bathroom and sleep in his own bed. Teal'c had gotten a Junior pass to his quarters, but Daniel and Sam weren't so lucky. He figured he'd better come prepared to pacify his two bed bound scientists.
"I thought another O'Neill family favorite would cheer you two up.
Jack rummaged in his bag pulling out paper plates, plastic forks and finally, the covered baking pan, placing them on a bed tray between Carter and Daniel. He had their attention, even Teal'c looked mildly intrigued. This was good. He pulled the top off the pan with just the right amount of dramatic flair. Silence. Daniel eyed Sam expectantly.
"Tuna casserole, sir? With crushed potato chips on top?"
"No, Major, its Tuna Hotdish. Great Tuna Hotdish to be exact.
"Jack. Do you have some sort of potato garnishing fetish we should know about?"
"Eat it or wear it, Daniel.
He saw Daniel do a quick survey of him to decide if it was a serious threat and took the route Jack would have strongly encouraged him to take. "Ah, Teal'c, could you hand me a fork please?"
"Colonel O'Neill. Do I need to remind you of the no outside food or beverage rule here in MY infirmary?"
Good Lord, how did that woman do it? She was five feet of frightening when she wanted to be. Intimidation wouldn't cut it, so Jack decided to go with contrite.
"Hey Doc...I. Mean. Doctor...Ma'am?" Hands still on hips. Go for the soft spot. "Janet. You did say they could leave later today and this is just to give them that extra strength they'll need to get home.
Nope, didn't budge.
"Colonel. You know the rules are perfectly clear. Patients' meals are scheduled by my nurses to fit nutritional guidelines. Outside food is not allowed. That is unless you bring enough for the patients AND the doctor.
Back to contrite. Jack held the pan out for inspection and put his best-shamed boy face on.
"You want some?"
The hardened shell of doctor was cast off and just plain Janet smiled and stepped forward to inhale the aroma wafting from the pan.
"Yes, absolutely, Colonel. I love tuna casserole!"
Janet never heard the quiet groans that accompanied two bodies as they slowly lowed themselves in their beds and out of the line of fire. Jack chose to ignore them in favor of the chance to educate one misguided doctor.
"Dr. Fraiser, this is not a casserole. Anybody could make a casserole. This is Tuna Hotdish...
~Finis
