Part 1

Buffy turned as she heard Angel’s pain-filled howl rend the air and saw him crumble to the ground. With a quick swing at Glory’s head, she knocked the hell god unconscious and ran towards him only to have Cordelia block her way.

“Leave him be.”

“What? Why? He might be hurt,” Buffy stammered. Then she noticed the grey flakes falling through the air. She looked to the tower and saw Dawn slowly descending the stairs, tears streaming down her face. “Where’s Spike, “Buffy asked in a shaky voice, fearing the answer.

Cordelia just looked at her sadly and shook her head, knowing Buffy would understand.

“Oh, God,” Buffy gasped, as she raised her hand over her mouth, “How?”

“I don’t know. While you were fighting Glory, Angel saw someone up there with Dawn. He cleared a path and Spike ran up.” Cordelia pointed to the top of the tower. “The next thing I saw was a lot of flashing lights, I think the portal opened. Then Spike was falling and then ash fell as the portal closed.”

“Dawn,” Buffy yelled as Cordelia’s words sank in. She ran over to the tower and caught a tear-stained, bloodied Dawn in her arms.

“He said I had to live,” Dawn muttered over and over as she collapsed in Buffy’s arms sobbing. “What have I done?”

“Shush, it’s over now,” Buffy whispered as she led Dawn over to the others and went and retrieved the troll hammer and walked calmly over to where Glory had last been seen. There was no sign of her. Buffy looked around and noticed that all her minions had disappeared as well. Taking a deep breath, Buffy walked back to the others.

“What should we do,” Xander asked

They all stood there looking at Angel’s crumpled form on the floor. He was covered in ash, his shoulders shaking as huge sobs rocked his frame.

Dawn slowly walked forward and knelt besides Angel. Tentatively, she placed her hand on his back. Slowly, Angel straightened and looked at her, red-rimmed eyes met red-rimmed eyes.

“He said he loved you,” Dawn said quietly. “He said he always has and he always would.”

Angel nodded and took one of her tear-stained cheeks in his hand and gently brushed away the tears that were falling. Dawn suddenly buried her head in his shoulder and they knelt there sobbing and hugging each other.

After a while, Dawn's tears subsided to hiccups and she looked around and noticed the lightening sky. Softly she said, “Angel, we have to leave soon, the sun is coming.”

Angel just looked at her blankly.

Dawn stood up and held out her hand. He ignored her and looked away.

“You can’t stay here. You have to come,” she said, stamping her foot childishly.

Angel stared at the ground. “I won’t leave him here alone,” he growled.

Willow looked at Tara. Tara nodded and quickly walked away. Willow walked towards Angel and knelt down. “Hey you,” Willow said quietly.

Angel looked at her through sad, red eyes wondering what this young woman would say next.

“Tara’s gone to the Magic Box to get something.” Angel arched an eyebrow in surprise. That was not what he expected. Willow smiled. “There is a beautiful carved wooden box…if you would like, I can do a spell to gather Spike’s ashes and place them in it.”

Tears started falling from Angel’s eyes as he grabbed Willow and hugged her close. “Thank you,” he gasped. Willow gave up trying to pull away and hugged him back, tears of her own falling.

Tara arrived shortly thereafter carrying the box.

“I hope someone’s going to pay for that,” Anya grumbled.

“Anya, honey, not now,” Xander whispered while Cordelia shot her dagger looks and Gunn just huffed.

“You ready,” Willow asked as she stood and helped Angel to stand. “Would you like to hold the box?” Angel nodded and glumly took the box from Tara. “Stand there and don’t move. This isn’t as easy as it sounds.” Angel nodded again and opened the box slowly.

Willow and Tara held hands and began muttering. Nothing seemed to happened as the others looked on.

Suddenly a faint wind slowly caressed Angel’s face, like a lover’s kiss, fleeting and gentle, sending a shiver through him. Slowly, a small whirlwind began to spin in front of his eyes drawing Spike’s ashes, like metal to a magnet, slowly growing bigger and bigger, until suddenly the whirlwind stopped spinning and a the ash slowly began to fall into the box as if an invisible funnel encased it. Angel carefully closed the lid as the last piece of ash slowly fell.

“Thank you,” Angel’s replied hoarsely, never taking his eyes off the box.

Willow slowly walked over looking drained. “You’re welcome.”

“Angel, we have to leave, the sun is coming up,” Cordelia said quietly as she walked over.

“Yeah,” Angel replied distantly. Cordelia and Willow looked at each other and then both slipped a hand under each of Angel’s arms and started leading him away.

***

“Oh, my God. What happened,” Joyce’s voice rang out as they entered. “Is everyone all right,” she fussed.

“Mum,” Buffy said, pulling Joyce into the kitchen, while the others steered Angel into the living room.

Everyone sat or stood in quiet shock. Dawn huddled close to Angel. Cordelia and Gunn were hugging each other close while looking worriedly at Angel. Giles and Wesley stood by the fireplace, obviously deep in conversation, while Xander, Tara, Willow and Anya just stood to one side not knowing what else to do.

Joyce and Buffy entered the room looking forlorn. Tears were welling in Joyce’s eyes as she walked over to the sideboard, reached into the cupboard and pulled out a dusty bottle with a letter attached to it and a glass. Joyce slowly walked to Angel and sat down next to Dawn, pulling her into a motherly hug and kissing her head. Joyce straightened and turned to Angel, Dawn still holding tight.

“Angel,” Joyce asked quietly. When she got no response, she gently placed her hand on the lid of the box.

Angel snarled at her and faced her, yellow eyes flashing, fangs extended. Joyce didn’t flinch, just looked at him with sorrow-filled eyes and said, “I want to thank you.” She took a shaky breath. “Your childe saved my child, for that I will be eternally grateful to you both.”

Angel’s face slowly slipped back to normal as he acknowledged what she had said.

“I have some thing for you…William wanted me to give it to you if anything was to ever happen to him.”

Angel looked at her questioningly.

Joyce smiled and handed him the bottle and the letter. Angel took them and looked, blinking away the tears as he read the word on the envelope. It simply said ‘Angelus.’

Angel opened the envelope carefully, only to find another envelope inside with the words ‘Now open the bottle and have a drink, luv.’

Angel did as he was told. He carefully placed the letter on the box, reached for the glass and poured in a generous amount, then took a large gulp, closing his eyes and allowing the feel of the fine whiskey to spread through his body. Opening his eyes, he stared at the envelope for a while before he picked it up and tore it open, fleetingly hoping this wasn’t one of Spike’s practical jokes and he was going to find another envelope. He didn’t; he found a letter written on expensive paper in an elegant hand, which Angel couldn’t read as the tears misted his eyes again. He took another drink, wiped his eyes and began to read.

                     ‘Angelus, Angel, Liam,

                      Hope you like the whiskey. Bloody expensive that was, so don’t you go sharing it. It’s my gift, from me to you and only you.

                      Well, I know not what to write, mainly because if you are reading this then you will know that I am dust. Hopefully, however, not by your hand. Mind, you threatened me enough times as a fledge. (That was a joke by the way.)

                      I know as well as you do that neither of us could dust the other. We’re not friends. We'll never be friends. But we will be in love till it kills us both. We'll fight, and we’ll shag, and we'll hate each other till it makes us quiver, but we'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, its blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will and you are in my blood. You surround me every day as I lay down to sleep and every minute of the night that I’m awake, you’re in me, surrounding me and I love you. Always have and always will. I love you.

                      Well, that’s the emotional shit out the way. Bet your wondering why Joyce has this. Well, unbeknown to the rest of you, Joyce and I are friends -- have been for a while, long before I was chipped. (Just don’t tell Buffy unless Joyce does.) She’s a good woman, look after her for me and stop frowning, I can see it from here. Yes, I have been chipped, defanged if you like. Buffy or one of the other Scoobies can fill you in. All you need to know is that I’m happy, finally happy. I’ve found my place in the world, seeing that these kids get to live a little bit longer. Well, maybe not the whelp (Xander). Mind, he’s my nummy treat, so I suppose I had better keep him around, and it would make Dawn unhappy, can’t have that. Anyway, I’m rambling and we can’t have that now, can we, Sire?

                      Yes, you are still my Sire. I know we haven’t spoken in a while, well, not since that Gem of Amara business. You do understand why I did that? Yes, I know you do.

                       There’s not much to say really, except I wish things had been different and that we had had time to make peace with one another, but you know what they say, shouldn’t put off what you can do today for tomorrow. That’s the trouble with being a vampire. You think you have all the time in the world. Well, I guess we don’t. Don’t be sad for me I had a good run, more than most.

                       Look after them for me, Angel. They need someone to watch their backs, especially Little Bit (Dawn).  She’s always up to something, bit like Dru that way. Talking of which, you look after my Dark Princess for me too. misses her Daddy, almost as much as I do.

                       Just remember, meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me, so stop brooding about my turning. I had fun, I loved, I fought, and I conquered. But, most of all, remember the good times we shared -- Paris in 1887, Rome in 1889. . .need I go on? You taught me so much and I am grateful.

                       Well, I will give Darla my regards when I see her. Nice one there, mate.  Was rather pleased you staked her. But, jokes aside, I will miss you and I will be watching over you, so don’t you go brooding too much or I might just have to come back and haunt you.

There’s nothing left to say except:

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the moonlight on rippling waves.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the midnight hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

I love you, My Angel,

My Sire.

My Lover

Yours for eternity.

William.’

Angel sat back and let his head flop onto the back of the sofa and looked at the ceiling as the tears fell once again. Dawn moved over and crawled under his arm clutching at his chest as they cried.

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