Title:- Can't let you go Authors' name:- Cat E-mail:- Cathy@edcom-int.com Disclaimer:- Yeah, I own them. (in my dreams). Just borrowing them for a while. Distribution:- http://www.geocities.com/fallenangel0206/CatsFanfic.html Spoilers:- None at all. totally AU. Rating:- PG 15 Parings:- Buffy/Angelus Summary:- Buffy and Angelus are getting divorced. Is their any hope for our favourite couple? Feedback:- Please. It's like a drug. I'm a feedback junkie. AN: You wanted sex, you got sex! Dont say i dont listen to you all ;) Enjoy! **************************** Chapter 25 Buffy and Angelus arrived home that evening, both rather shaken. Though it was past midnight, neither was in the mood for sleep but they headed for the bedroom anyway. Buffy sat on the new, four-poster bed, as Angelus disappeared. He appeared a few minutes later with two large drinks. "You're shaking." He observed. "Shock." He handed her a drink. "Here, drink this." Buffy took the drink and downed its contents, pulling a face. Placing the empty glass on the bedside table she unbuttoned her blouse and hissed in pain as she moved her shoulder back to remove it. "What?" asked Angelus. "Nothing. I think I hit my shoulder as I fell." "Let me see." He said, sitting beside her. Buffy turned away slightly, so he could see the shoulder. "It's bruised. Won't be pretty in the morning." Buffy leaned back into him, her unspilled tears shining in her eyes. "You almost went away today." She told him. "We both did." "I feel like. If I lost you." "Shh." He said, "We're both fine." Buffy turned to him. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Angelus leaned in and captured her lips in a gentle, loving kiss. Buffy relaxed into him, needing this release as much as he did. Angelus pulled her shirt the rest of the way off her arms and quickly freed her bra, removing that also. Tenderly he pushed her back so she lay on the bed as he began by kissing her neck, softly. Slowly he trailed a path of kisses down over her chest. He took his time, savouring every inch of her. Buffy moaned slightly as he took one of her nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the nipple and gently nipping it with his teeth. He moved over to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. Buffy tangled her hand in his hair, lightly urging him on. Angelus then continued his journey across her body, kissing his way over her stomach until he reached her pants. He rested his cheek against her tummy as he opened her zip, luxuriating in her heat and scent. Once opened, he pushed her pants down over her hips then moved off the bed to sit between her legs witch were dangling off the edge of the bed. Freeing her from her trousers he began another trail of kisses, this time from her ankle. Buffy whimpered slightly as he reached her thigh and slowed his pace, relishing this moment with her. After an eternity he reached her warm core and softly parted her lips to expose her sex. Tenderly he began to rub her pearl with his tongue as his fingers gently massaged her lips. Buffy's mews grew louder as he continued and his actions became harder. "Angel." She whispered. Angelus paused briefly. He hadn't heard that name in so long. Only Buffy had ever called him Angel and only in intimate moments, times when they were perfectly attuned to each other. Swallowing, he continued, knowing he was completely forgiven now. He had heard Buffy's assurances but part of his didn't totally believe it. He couldn't believe he was her Angel again, not until this moment. Carefully he built Buffy up to her peak, watching as her skin flushed and smiling as her cries became filled with desire. He sucked her bud into his mouth roughly, tipping her over the edge into ecstasy. As she lay in rapture, twitching slightly he quickly shed his own clothes and lay atop her, his manhood poised at her entrance. Buffy wrapped her hands around him and moved her hips up in a silent invitation. His member slid into her tight sheath and he paused for a moment, delighting in the feel of her. Buffy pulled his head down into a kiss as he began thrusting inside her. They moved together in a graceful dance of love, neither rushing, both needing this to last, to be gentle. This was more than sex, this was making love. Since Buffy had forgiven him their sex had been passionate and needful. This was more than desire though, this was a pure expression of their feelings for each other. Angel pulled out of the kiss and gazed down at Buffy. Her hair was fanned out around her head and her eyes were heavy with desire. "Your beautiful." He whispered reverently. Buffy smiled her reply. "I love you." "I love you too." He lowered his head again, burying it in her neck as he lavished his kisses there. Buffy mewed her appreciation. As Angelus felt his peak approach, he felt Buffy's sheath clamp down on him as she cried out with her own release. Angelus followed, spilling his seed into her and collapsing on top of her. Buffy held him tightly, as though she might loose him at any moment. After making love, they lay in bed together, neither ready for sleep. Buffy's head rested on his chest as she waited for him to open up. She knew he needed to talk, it just took time. "I don't know how to feel." He said eventually. "About what?" "Everything. It's like I have a hundred different emotions, all warring with each other for supremacy." Buffy kissed his chest. "One at a time." Angelus took a deep breath. "Penn. I know I owed him. I just never realised how much he resented me. Hated me. He's the only friend I brought from my childhood, the only good thing I could salvage." "How does that make you feel?" "Betrayed, angry. He was supposed to be a friend, if he had a problem he should have come to me." "But he did in the end." "Which makes being angry at him even harder. He took a bullet for us." "I think you need to talk to him, work it out between you. Maybe there's nothing left to salvage but maybe there is." Angelus nodded, knowing that this one had no easy conclusions. "Then there's Wes." he began. Buffy let the pause lay for a few moments, giving him time to collect his thoughts before prompting him. "What about Wes?" "I shot him. I mean I've hurt people before, probably cracked a few ribs but I shot him. and I didn't care. At that moment I wished him dead." "It's only natural. Your survival instincts kicked in, you had no choice." "I know. I know." He answered softly. "What if I'd killed him though?" "We'd deal, like we always do. You did the right thing Angelus. He would have killed us all, you saved us." He kissed the top of her head. "When did you get so smart?" he asked, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "You only just noticed?" she joked back. His smile faded to something akin to awe. "Then there's you," he said. "I feel so happy that you gave me another chance. I don't deserve you, I never have. That's what makes your coming home so much sweeter." "But." She asked, knowing there was a but. "I just don't feel like I should be happy." "Because of Cordelia." She finished for him. He nodded. "I know it's stupid. I never had anything with them, how can I miss something I never had." "It isn't stupid." "I just always figured that at some point she'd forgive me, I'd be part of their lives again." Buffy looked up at him. "It isn't stupid. I know exactly how that feels." Angelus nodded, realising she was talking about the child she lost. "So what do I do?" "Nothing." She answered gently. "There's nothing you can do. Day by day it'll get easier. You'll still always love him, he will always be with you but one day it wont hurt to think about him. It won't feel like you cant breath, like your heart's about to split apart. You'll just feel sad that you missed out. Then one day you'll be sitting at our child's graduation. You'll wonder what Cordelias' son would have looked like, what he would have studied, would he have been valedictorian? Then you'll brush away a tear, stand and applaud our child, knowing it's the future that counts." Angelus knew that was a truth she had learnt the hard way. "You still think about our baby?" "Most days." "Did you know what sex it was?" "I never asked. Might have been too early to tell but I didn't want to know anyway." She answered honestly. "Why?" "It would be too real then. I'd lay awake thinking of names, it would become a person. I thought that knowing would just make things harder." They lay silently together for a while. Finally, unburdened and exhausted, they both drifted off to sleep. ************************** Chapter 26 A week later Angelus got the call he was after from the detective investigating the case, Pearce. After Penn confessed all, the two muggers confessed and pled guilty. As such Buffy's belongings weren't needed as evidence and could be returned. Usually detective Pearce wouldn't release them to anyone but the owner but after hearing Angelus story, and knowing he was no longer implicated in any way, he agreed to bend the rules. Angelus rushed from his office, talking hurriedly on his cell phone as he breezed passed his secretaries. They smiled at each other. With Angelus not around as much at the moment, their workload was greater but the new happier atmosphere more than made up for that. Buffy looked oddly at Willow as she took the phone call. "What's up?" asked Buffy, noting Willows flustered attitude as she replaced the receiver. "I uh, I have to go. go do something." "Will? What's wrong?" asked Buffy concerned. "Nothing." "Is it Oz? Has he changed his mind?" "No, we're still getting married, it isn't about him." "Just tell me Will, you're scaring me." "It's nothing, just something I have to do. Now." Before she could be questioned further she rushed from the shop without even saying goodbye. Buffy looked after her, wondering why her friend would lie to her. And she was lying. Willow only got that flustered when she was hiding something. Buffy soon shrugged off her ill feelings and got back to work. Willow would just have to tell her when she was ready. The phone rang again about an hour later. "Summers Designs." She answered. "Buffy, it's me." "Angelus, what's up?" "Nothing, I need you to meet me as soon as possible." "I can't leave right now. Will ran out on me." "Get one of the new girls to watch the shop or something, I need you." Again Buffy became worried. Angelus was never usually this insistent. Was it possible both he and Willow were in trouble? "What is it?" she asked, seriously. "I need to see you, face to face. Please Buffy this is important." Buffy sighed, knowing he wasn't going to tell her more. "Fine, where?" "By Bluff Point. Come soon, please." He said, hanging up. Buffy stared at the phone for a few seconds wondering if her life was about to be turned upside down again. Finally spurred into action she called up to the girls upstairs. "Tracey, Viv, I got to go out for a while, can you keep an eye on the shop?" "Sure thing." Viv shouted back. Buffy ran out to her car. Buffy arrived at Bluff Point to see about ten cars parked there and a Winnebago. She got out of her car and called to Angelus. "Buffy." Called willow. Buffy turned to see Willow in the doorway of the Winnebago. "Will? What's going on?" "Come in, then I'll tell you." Buffy walked over to the motor home and entered to see Angelus in there with champagne in his hand. Willow quickly exited and closed the door behind her. "Will someone please tell me what's happening?" Angelus smiled and handed her a champagne glass. "I'm sorry for the subterfuge, I wanted to surprise you." "I'm surprised." She smiled. "So, what's up?" Angelus guided her to a couch by the kitchen area and sat her down. "I just wanted to tell you something. Buffy, I know I've made a mess of things in the past. Believe me, I wont ever again." Buffy went to speak but Angelus held up his hand to stop her. "Please, just let me get this out. We're making a new start, together. And I just wanted that start to be. official." He reached into his pocket and withdrew Buffy's claddagh ring. She gasped. "When did.?" "This morning. I want to do things properly Buffy. I want you to renew our marriage vows, here, today." "Today?!" "I have everything arranged. The minister's here, Willow has a dress for you, it's all set up." Buffy was speechless. She reached out for the ring Angelus held but he withdrew his hand playfully "Not until you say yes." He chastised, teasingly. "Of course it's yes." She said, flinging her arms around him. Buffy emerged from the Winnebago dressed in a simple white gown, her hair up with a white rose pinned in it. With Willow in tow Buffy headed out to the edge of the point, overlooking the sea. Angelus waited for her with the minister and smiled as he saw her. There were only about a dozen guests sitting of folding chairs and a simple arch had been erected where the minister stood. Buffy looked around the crowd of her close friends, wishing her mother could be there too. She shrugged off that thought, hoping her mother was watching her from above, the way Buffy imagined just after she died. Willow took her seat as Buffy walked down the isle, towards her lover, her husband and her soulmate. The minister began and Buffy and Angelus turned to him, though neither took their gaze from the other. Buffy didn't remember much of the ceremony, she was too emotional. She did remember getting her ring back though, and the look of utter devotion on Angelus' face as he gently placed it back where it belonged. She also remembered kissing him at the end and people clapping. The rest didn't matter. She was where she belonged, at Angelus' side. Epilogue 11 months later Buffy sat on the sofa in the study waiting for Angelus to get home. She was a mass of mixed emotions. She was doing the right thing and she knew it, however that didn't make things easier. Last time things went so badly and while it was almost a year since they renewed their marriage vows, the memory of the last baby and the separation still lay heavy in her heart. Especially now. Logically she knew that things wouldn't be the same this time. Penn and Wesley were behind bars and would stay there. Penn had another three years to serve, Wesley had at least another fifteen after other people came forward and he was also charged with racketeering. Penn and Angelus had made peace with each other so Penn no longer bore them any ill will. This time it was just she, Angelus and their baby. But she could still loose it, not only was there a family history of miscarriage, there was also, now, a personal history. However she couldn't keep it from him again regardless of how much she wanted to protect him. He had only just been to Cordelias' grave, two days ago. The police had never been able to find out what happened to the child so he would visit Cordelia every six weeks. It was as close as he would ever get to his lost son. While the police had been able to prove that Cordelia was pregnant when she left Angelus to be with Wes, Wesley refused to speak on the matter so they couldn't prove what had happened to them. Would Cordelia make him happier that Buffy was pregnant or more apprehensive? She should have waited until in between his visits to tell him, not when the memory of his loss was still fresh in his mind. She heard the front door open and braced herself. Too late for that now. Angelus walked into the study and Buffy attempted a smile but it was tight. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Wrong? Nothing. I do have news though." Angelus sat beside her and took her hand, smiling reassuringly at her. "What?" "I went to the doctors today. I'm pregnant." Angelus' face was blank, while which Buffy took as a bad sign. "Angelus?" she asked, tentatively. His features changed into a broad smile as he hugged her. "We'll make it work Buffy. This time will be different. I promise." Buffy desperately wanted to believe that. Buffy lay exhausted on the bed, utterly unable to do anything except watch what was happening. Angelus smiled down at her and took her hand. The doctor turned back to face them, carrying a small bundle in a blue blanket. He smiled proudly at the new parents as he walked back over to them. Offering the bundle to Buffy he said, "Your son." Buffy didn't know where she found the strength from but she accepted the baby and cradled it to her chest. "He's beautiful." Said Angelus. Looking own at both of them. Buffy smiled up at him to see a distant look in his eyes briefly. Then he turned back to them, smiling. He kissed Buffy's forehead, then the baby's. "I love you." He said to both. "I love you too." Said Buffy, smiling at both her men. The baby held his hand out and Angelus offered him his finger, which the baby gripped tightly. Tears shone in Angelus' eyes; finally he had his family. The end.
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