Title:- Silhouette of the Future Authors' name:- Cat E-mail:- Cathy@edcom-int.com Disclaimer:- Would B/A be separate if I owned them? No, I don't think so. Distribution:- http://www.oocities.org/fallenangel0206/CatsFanfic.html If you want it, just ask Spoilers:- None at all. Rating:- R for adult themes Parings:- Buffy/Angel(us) Summary:- Detective fic. Angelus is a detective, Buffy the psychologist sent to help him on his case. But there's more to it than that (I'm not giving everything away you know!) Feedback:- Please. It's like chicken soup for the muse. Authors Notes:- I cant believe you guys, I haven't posted for a week and I'm still getting e-mails begging for me to post the sequel. Well, it's unbeta-ed but here is the first past of Shadows of the past's sequel. Hope you enjoy : ) ******************************** Chapter 1 The day before she moved Buffy went to the rehab home Angel was in. He couldn't move back into his apartment yet because of the stairs. She didn't know why she came but as she left the university she found herself driving there, almost unable to control her actions. She sat in her car for a while, trying to figure out why she was here. She was certain she was leaving, she didn't want to stay. Perhaps she wanted closure, to put this final bit of unresolved business behind her. To say goodbye. "Excuse me." The receptionist looked up and smiled. "How can I help you?" "I'm looking for Angelus Devero." The nurse turned to a coded board behind her. "He's in room J4 just down the hall but it looks like he's in therapy now." "Where's that?" The nurse leaned over the counter and pointed. "Down the hall, left a the end and it's the third door on the left." Buffy smiled. "Thanks." "Wait, since your going there could you give hi this?" she handed Buffy a book. "It was delivered earlier for him, haven't had a chance to drop it off." "Um, sure." Buffy looked at the book, which was called World History of Art. 'Huh,' she thought. 'I hadn't pegged him as an art buff.' She walked slowly towards the room he would be in, not even knowing what her opening line would be. 'Hey Angel, still crippled!' No, that would defiantly not do. She slowed as she approached the door and peered through the glass panel. He was walking between two rails, his back to her. He seemed to be making progress, his steps even, if a little weak. Buffy turned away from the door, her eyes suddenly misty. She pulled a tissue out and began to blot her tears away. "Right, I think that's enough for on day." She heard the man helping Angel say. Buffy quickly dried her eyes and walked off down the hall, this was too hard. "Good session Bro. We're making some real progress here." Said the male physio as he opened the door. "Thanks. Hope.. Buffy." Buffy almost stopped when she heard his call her name but she couldn't. Something carried her forward. "BUFFY!" She stopped at the corner but didn't turn back to him. He was wheeled up by his physio. "Can we have a few moments?" Angel asked. "Sure." He left leaving Buffy and Angel alone together in the hall. Slowly Buffy turned to face him. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "I uh. I came to say goodbye." "Why?" "I'm leaving. Selling up. I got a job offer in Sunnydale." "When?" he asked feeling a sharp pain in his chest. Willow was right, he was loosing her. "Tomorrow. I leave tomorrow." she shifted the book in her hands. "They, uh, gave me this, for you." She handed the book over. "Thanks." "Didn't know you liked art." "It was my major in college." "Oh." "Buffy." "I, uh, I should go. Still have packing to do and stuff." "OK." Buffy turned to leave. "Thanks. For coming by. It was good to see you." Buffy turned back and offered a small smile. "Yeah, you too." "Good god, could you be a bigger idiot!" cried willow. "She gave the olive branch, which she didn't have to do since you sent her away and you still don't do anything. You've ruined everything!" Angel sighed. "We never had anything Willow, there was nothing to ruin in the first place." Willow angrily picked up his sketchpad from his bedside table and began flicking through the pages, showing them to Angel. They were all of Buffy. Buffy smiling, Buffy walking, Buffy sleeping, Buffy and Mitsy, Buffy talking, Buffy running, Buffy scared, Buffy crying, Buffy laughing. Willow threw the pad at him. "Nothing there? Man, I knew you were a loner, I just didn't figure you were stupid along with it." Angel was shocked at how harsh she was. "Willow. What is it?" Willow sat in the chair beside his bed, her anger abating. "How long have we known each other?" "About seven years." Willow nodded. "And in all that time I've seen women come and go in your life. I've seen one night stands, what passes for relationships, I've seen you treat them like crap, I've seen you use them, I've even taken their messages and made dumb excused for you. But never, in all that time have I seen you care for one of those women." Angel looked away, unable to take the truth of her words. "Angel. I love you, you know that. Your just such a dumb ass sometimes." "Willow, why would she want me?" "Why not? You're funny and smart and all the things most women are looking for." "I'm also a cripple." "Not for long. You know they said you would probably recover 90 to 95% of your mobility." "Not enough for the force." "Don't change the subject. And the force will have you back, they said so." "A desk job. I can't do a desk job." "What ever you do, that's your decision. And you should have given Buffy a change to make her own decision." They sat quietly for a few moments. Angel finally admitted to himself he had been wrong. He had thrown away the first real connection he'd had with a woman. Maybe it wouldn't work, that was always a possibility but he hadn't even tried. "What do I do?" He asked. "I can't tell you that. It's your decision to make, not mine." ******************************** Chapter 2 Buffy moved into her house n Ravello Drive on the Thursday, giving her four days to settle in before she had to start her new job. She settled in easily, making the place her own. It was a nice house, one she could feel at home in. She prepared for work on the Monday feeling ready for anything. She had met the teachers, they were all nice and students everywhere were much alike, so nothing she couldn't handle there. She poured herself a mug of coffee and sat down to look through the post before she left. Most was bills or contract conformations from the utilities companies but there was an odd package, a round cardboard parcel. She pulled the cap off the end and fished a curled sheet of paper out. She unrolled it and gasped. It was a sketch of her and Mitsy captured with loving attention to detail. She smiled at the picture; it was a wonderful way to remember her. Swallowing back a lump she searched the holder for a message but there was nothing. The post mark was LA but that wasn't unusual considering she had lived there for years. She looked back to the picture but could find no signature or other marking. She decided Giles must have sent it. Probably got one of the students to copy a picture of them or something. She smiled at the gesture. She would pick a frame up today and call him that night to thank him. Buffy's first week in Sunnydale went well. Her bad dreams were slowly subsiding. Her students seemed to like her, as did the staff. She had made a few friends on the faculty although she still kept a careful distance. One friend she made was Xander Harris. He worked as a builder, plumber and general handy man. He was recommended to Buffy by her department head when her bathroom tab began leaking. He was friendly but not overbearing and he made her laugh, something she hadn't done for a long time. Buffy knew he had a crush on her but neither of them mentioned it. Buffy was grateful, the last thing she needed right now was another relationship. The picture was hanging in the living room. Giles had denied all knowledge of it but it was still a nice picture, hopefully one day Buffy would be able to thank it's maker. About four weeks after moving in she lay on her back porch with Xander, enjoying the afternoon sun when the doorbell went. Buffy went through to answer it. "Package miss." "Thanks." Buffy signed the forms and the man returned to the truck to collect the parcel. It was about 2 foot square, plane cardboard with holes in the sides and tied up with a large red ribbon. "Wow, thanks." Smiled Buffy as she carried the box in. "What ya got there Buff?" asked Xander. "I dunno. It feels weird though." She said, placing it on the coffee table. "Well, don't keep me in suspense, open it." Buffy untied the ribbon and pulled off the lid. In the centre of the box sat a small black and white dog with a sign around its neck. Buffy picked the dog up and pulled the note off its collar. "I'm sad. My mommy died and I need a good home." It read. "Aww," cried Buffy hugging the dog. "Isn't that sweet." "Yeah. Looks like Gismo. " Smiled Xander. "But who's it from?" Buffy frowned. "I dunno." They searched the box, and the note but nothing was found to reveal the sender, not even a return address. "Weird." Said Xander. "It's the second thing like that." Said Buffy. "That picture came without anything as well." Xander walked over to the picture. "Wow, looks like someone has a secret admirer." Buffy blushed but she also felt fearful. "I don't think so." Xander turned to her when he heard the edge in her voice. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I just don't. there's no one who would send me these things. No one at all." Xander shrugged. "Well someone is. Maybe we could call the company, see if they have a name or an address." Buffy nodded. "Good idea." The delivery company wouldn't reveal anything to Buffy quoting customer confidentiality. Buffy hadn't expected much different but she was still sorry she didn't know who had sent her the dog. After taking her to the vets she had discovered it was a twelve week old Japanese Chin. Buffy soon bought it a basket and lots of toys and she settled into the house with her. She often pondered who had sent her the gifts but she never got very far. The next gift arrived three weeks later. Two dozen red roses, unsigned and again no information from the delivery company or the flower shop. She was growing frustrated. Yes, they were beautiful but not knowing who was doing this was unnerving. A month later Buffy received another two dozen roses and an invitation to an art showing at Sunnydale's Art gallery. The artists name wasn't mentioned on the invitation though. She showed it to Xander. "Wow, looks like mister mystery man wants to make his presence known." Buffy frowned. "What's is it Buff? You want to know right?" "Yeah. But I'm also a little, I don't know. A little creeped out." "Well Buff it's been about 12 weeks now, about time you either meet this guy or tell him to shove it." "I can't tell him to shove it, I don't know who he is." "Then it looks like your going to the art show." Buffy nodded. "I guess. Will you come with me?" "If you need me Buffy, I'm there." "Thanks." *************************** Chapter 3 Buffy dressed simply on the evening of the art show. She didn't want to give the wrong impression but she also didn't want to be too glamorous. She opted in the end for a simple, knee length black dress. Xander picked her up at seven as promised and they headed to the gallery. "You been to one of these before?" Xander asked. "No. Why, nervous?" "No. yeah. I don't know what you do at an art show." "Me either so we'll sink or swim together." The show was in full swing when they arrived and were handed glasses of wine. They began walking around the first room. The gallery was divided into three rooms with pillars in the middle to provide more hanging space. "He's good." Buffy said as they approached a watercolour of a sunset. "Not bad, I have to agree. Bit pricey though." He said pointing to the price tag on the sunset picture. Buffy smiled. "Yeah, Art is not for the weak hearted is it?" They carried on. There was a range of work here varying from watercolours, oil paintings, sketches and even a few sculptures. Buffy looked at one sketch, it was of a family, the parents walking away from the canvas, two children playing behind them at the front of the picture and a small white dog. "Look familiar?" Buffy asked. Xander soon caught on. "Yeah, that looks like." "Mitsy." "So the artist is your admirer." Buffy nodded. "Must be." She hailed a passing sales person. "Excuse me, is the artist here? I'd love to met him." "I'm sorry, he's running late but he should be here later." "Thank you." The assistant carried on. Buffy continued looking around. Gradually she became aware of people looking at her. "Xand, do I have something in my teeth." She asked, bearing her smile for him to look. "No, but I know what you mean." "Good, I'm not crazy then." Just then their question was answered. "My dear." Said an old lad coming over to them, she took Buffy's hand and shook it. "It's good to meet you." "Meet me?" "Yes. I saw your picture and I have to say, it certainly does you justice. When did you pose?" "Pose? Picture?" "The picture in the next room." She said puzzled. "It is you isn't it?" "I have no idea. I haven't posed for anything." "Come my dear." She said leading Buffy by the hand. "I swear it's you. Unless my years are catching up with me." She chuckled. In the next room Buffy saw an oil painting on the wall. It was about 3 foot by 4 foot and clearly of Buffy. "Oh my god." She gasped. It was her. She was sitting on a wall; the sunlight shining of her hair as a breeze gently ruffled it. "See, I was right." Said the old lady. Buffy was speechless. She had never posed for anything like this. Never posed at all in fact. As though in a daydream she began turning, looking at the other pictures in the room. They were all of her. Some sketches, some oil but all Buffy. Xander gave a low whistle. "Someone's got it bad." Buffy felt her anger rising, like she'd been violated or something. She stormed from the room, intent of finding out who this mystery artist was. There was a crowd now gathered in the biggest of the rooms and the sales assistant from earlier caught her attention. "He's here now." She said. "He asked if I would take you somewhere private so he could speak to you." "Is that him in there?" she asked pointing to the crowd. "Yes. But he'd like a word alone." 'Stuff that!' thought Buffy as she headed for the throng. She pushed her way to the centre of the crowd. "Buffy." Her heart broke all over again as she saw him standing there, leaning on a cane. She should have known it was him. Should have guessed only he could be so cruel. She turned and fled the gallery; Xander on her heals and Angelus calling after her. ********************************** Chapter 4 Angel returned to his apartment after the show. He should be elated, his first showing and he had sold a dozen pieces. OK, it was just a small gallery and a small show but it was a start. That didn't matter though. All he could think about was the hurt and anger on Buffy's face. Did she really hate him that much? He had hoped to talk to her, explain things and apologise but she hadn't given him a chance. Inviting her to the show was a bad idea; he should have handled things better, in person. In private. And now she had seen his pictures of her. One of the sales assistants told him how shocked Buffy had been when she saw them. Angelus sighed. Tomorrow he had to do it right, explain things to her. But not tonight, not with her rejection was still so fresh in his mind. Buffy awoke to a peaceful Saturday morning. Her sleep had been anything but peaceful though; filled with dreams of him. She should have known that running wasn't the answer. All she wanted was a clean start but no one had it that easy. She had been foolish to think she could out run the past. She was prepared for the phone calls asking for interviews though, prepared that the odd person in the street would recognise her. She had handled that. She couldn't prepare for seeing him though. She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling, wondering what he was doing in town. And more importantly, how the hell had he become an artist in three months? Angel walked up the steps to Buffy's home, still resting on his cane. He carried a single red rose bound around the stem with a yellow ribbon. Taking a deep breath, he knocked. Buffy appeared at the door wearing tracksuit bottoms and a white t-shirt, her long hair pulled back into a functional ponytail. Her face didn't show anger today though, just annoyance. "Buffy. Can I come in." She just looked at him. "I want to explain things. Please." Buffy opened the door wider and gestured for him to enter. He walked into a large hallway as she closed the door behind him. "Nice place." He commented. "Thanks. What do you want?" "Could we sit down for this, I really don't want to do this in a hallway." Buffy left the door and headed through to the living room, he followed. Buffy sat in an armchair and Angel took a seat on the sofa. "So explain." She said. Angel took a deep breath, wondering where to begin. It didn't help that she was obviously not in the mood to listen but he had to try. "I'm sorry Buffy." "What for?" "Everything. I. I should never have sent you away, first of all. I was angry at life. And I didn't think you'd want me crippled. I lied when I said I didn't love you but I thought I was doing the best for you." Buffy breathed deeply, trying to stave off the tears that threatened to fall. She dare not speak in case her voice cracked. "Can you forgive me?" Buffy swallowed. "It's not that simple." "I know. I. I just want a chance Buffy. Please give me a chance." "Why the cloak and dagger?" "Honestly? I didn't think you'd accept the gifts if you thought they were from me. But I still wanted you to have them." Buffy needed a break before her emotions threatened to get the better of her. "You want a drink?" she asked, already on the way to the kitchen. Angel didn't answer her. Buffy leaned against the fridge and breathed deeply. Seeing him was so hard. She still loved him, there as no denying that. But it hurt so much. Her head told her to throw him out, get him away from her and carry on with her life. But her heart screamed no. This was no life and she needed him. Needed to love him as much as she needed his love. Finally the kettle boiled and Buffy called out to the living room. "Coffee?" She didn't receive a reply. She looked through to the living room. The room was empty. She rushed to the front door and watched him walk away down the sidewalk. She shouldn't have been so awful to him. She should have forgiven him. In fact she should go after him right now and call him back. But she didn't, she just watched until she could no longer see him. Turning her back to the door she went back to the living room and found a small note on the sofa with the rose he had been carrying placed on top. She picked the rose up and read the note. "I'm sorry, I had no idea this would be so hard for you. I'll give you some space but I will be back. All my Love, Angel" Buffy sank to the floor and allowed her tears to flow. ******************************************* Chapter 5 A week later and she hadn't heard from Angel. She had considered contacting the gallery and asking for his address but she couldn't. Something stopped her. She walked into the kitchen and saw the rose sitting on the centre isle. It was wilted and beginning to turn brown but she couldn't throw it out. Just as her head wouldn't let her look for Angel, her heart was just as adamant about not throwing his gift out. She poured some cereal and sat at the island, wondering if she would ever her from him again. Sure, he had said he would be back but it had been a week already, how much space did he think she needed? The truth was she needed a lot more space than just a week. Seven whole days thinking about him and still no decision as to what she should do. Buffy pushed those thoughts aside as she cleared her plate away, she had other things to do today, like a stack of student projects to review and going to the bronze with Xander. No, she refused to think about him today. Today was Anti Angelus day. Her resolve now in place she headed to the dining room to begin work. "Hey Buff, very nice." Said Xander as Buffy exited the house. She was wearing leather pants and a sleeve less halter neck top. It was all she had that could be called nightclub wear. She had never worn the pants before; they were an impulse buy a few years ago. But if she didn't want to look like a grungy housewife or a teacher, this was it. "Thanks Xand." She said as they walked to his car. The club was quite small and intimate. She liked it. Plenty of tables to sit at, not too crowded and live music. She approved. "See." Xander said reading her expression. "Told ya you'd like it." "You did." "So, what can I get ya to drink?" "Um, diet coke please." "Come on Buff, they give you that over 21 stamp for a reason." "I just. What the hell, you choose." Xander smiled. "Take a seat and I'll be right back." Buffy choose a table and watched the band until Xander returned with a large jug and two glasses. "What's that?" Buffy asked with a smile. "Well I'm not quite sure. We think it has vodka, archers and quantro in mixed with fruit juice but no one's ever found out. It's called the Bronze Sunset." He poured her a glass and watched as she took a sip. Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Wow, potent." "That it is. Don't worry, you soon get used to it. After the first two drinks you wont care." Buffy smiled. Xander always made her feel at easy. "So, you wanna dance?" he asked. "Not right now. Maybe later." "That's fine, I can tell you all about the incident with Mrs Feltmas's dog today." "Uh oh, what happened to the dog Xander?" "Nothing. I mean it's alive and all. Just a little. Um. shall we say, covered in dirty, brown, rusty water." Buffy's mouth fell open. "Not the pedigree white poodle that I see on my street?" "That very same one, except it's now kind of light beige and patchy." Buffy burst out laughing. She loved Xander but she had never known anyone get into so many scraped with his customers. She dreaded asking how it happened but she had to know. Angel watched as she chatted with Xander. She had never seemed so happy before. He wondered if he was making another huge mistake here, taking her from someone who could make her happy. But he noticed no intimacy between them, they weren't a couple. Yet. He had to try. Making the decision for Buffy was what got him here in the first place, she knew what was best for her. Buffy finished her second glass of Bronze Sunrise and began to feel an internal warmth from the alcohol. She watched the stage as Xander got another jug. "May I have this dance?" Buffy looked up into those two soulful eyes again. She found herself reaching out and taking his offered hand as he led her to the dance floor. He pulled her into an embrace and she swallowed as she looked up at him. "No cane tonight?" "I can go short periods without it." Buffy nodded. "How are you, healing wise. Not that I'm not interested in how else you are, just that I want to know how you're doing. Healing wise." "Well as can be expected. Pretty soon I wont need the cane but I'm not going to be running the marathon any time soon." Buffy nodded as she looked up into his eyes. She gently swayed to the music. It felt so right, so normal. It felt like home. But the man holding her so sweetly was the man who broke her heart just over three months ago. She had no guarantee he wouldn't do it again. "How are you?" he asked sincerely. "Good. I'm good." "Good." "Thank you for the dog. She's really sweet." He smiled. "Your welcome. I found her at the pound, thought I knew just the person to look after her." "And the picture, it's beautiful." Angel just smiled. Buffy had so many questions for him, had he quit the force? How did he become an artist? Why was he here? But she couldn't ask them, the words failed her. Angel raised his hand to the back of her head and gently eased it down so she rested it against his chest. Buffy didn't object. They stayed like that for another two songs. Both knowing words would spoil the moment. As the third song ended Buffy looked back up at him. "I should." "I know." "My friend." "Yeah." God, why did he have this affect on her? Why couldn't she just walk away? "I gotta." "Go, I know." But neither made any attempt to go. Angel leaned down and kissed her softly. Buffy responded wrapping her arms around his neck and running her hands through his hair. Her need for him evident. Her lips felt so soft and inviting. Angelus gently played his tongue over them, tracing the contours until she yielded and allowed him further access. Buffy moaned through their kiss. This was what she wanted, what she needed. But to do this risked rejection. Gradually they broke apart and looked into each other's eyes. "Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked. "Um, yeah." "I'll come by about lunch time." Buffy nodded. "I'll be there." She stepped back, breaking the embrace. Then she took another step, never severing eye contact. Angel smiled, understanding she had someone to return to. Buffy turned and lowly walked away. Angel staggered to the side of the dance floor. That was the longest he had stood without his cane and he needed to sit down. Strangely though, with Buffy there, he hadn't noticed the discomfort. "Wow Buffy, that was some kiss." Buffy blushed. "Yeah." "So, who was that?" "One of the reasons I came here." Xander nodded, knowing from experience he wasn't going to get any more information from her. **************************** Chapter 6 Buffy tried not to think about Angel's visit but she failed abysmally. She wondered why she had agreed to see him. Well, she knew why, the drink. It was always the drink that led to intimacy with him. Maybe she should stop. As lunchtime approached she sat down with a book and tried not to think about him. Needless to say she didn't even finish one page, she had to keep re reading the paragraphs since once she'd finished she then had no idea what she had read. She was soon put out of her misery when he knocked on her door. Buffy straightened her blouse and invited him in. Angel sat on the sofa feeling uncomfortable again. "Drink?" Buffy asked. "No, I'm fine." "Sure?" "Yeah." Buffy now sat in the same armchair as before, no longer able to delay things. "So?" she asked. Angel sighed. "Where to begin. OK. At the hospital, I'm really sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it." "You said that last time." "I know, I just thought it needed saying again." "So why did you send me away?" "I didn't think you'd want me. I wanted to spare you the misery. Probably a little bit of male pride in there too." "So why the change of heart?" "I was wrong, it wasn't my decision to make." Buffy went to say something but Angel held his hand up to stop her. "Before you go agreeing with me, believe me, I've heard it all from Willow a hundred times." Buffy nodded. "OK, so what happened, why did you leave the force?" Angel looked down to his cane. "All I would have had there was a desk job. I couldn't live with that. Even when I'm completely recovered I doubt they'd let me back on active duty." Buffy nodded. "Big leap from detective to artist though." "Yeah. Kind of just fell into it." "How?" "It's one of the therapies they offer at the home. I didn't need to work on my arms but they let me use the supplies so I had something to do. Anyway, they sell a few pictures off to help cover costs at the home so I gave them a few sketches to sell. The buyer loved them, wanted to meet me, went all gushy, asked if I had any other stuff and introduced me to some of her art friends. The rest is history." "So you just learnt to draw?" "No, I've been doing it for years. You saw my sketches." "Where?" "At my apartment. And all those boxes in the garage? That's stuff I stored." "God, I didn't even thing about it. I just assumed you liked pencil sketches." Angel smiled. "So, that's me up to date. How are you?" "Good." "You said that last night." "That's because it's true. How is your therapy going?" she asked, changing the subject. "Fine. I have one session a week at the hospital, the rest I do alone." "And your head?" "The odd headache but they're getting less." Buffy smiled. "I'm glad." They sat in silence a moment. "Look. Buffy. I like catching up and all but that's not why I came here." Buffy nodded and looked down at her hands. "I. I want you back. I want to see if we have anything. 'Cos I think we do and if we don't at least try we'll spend our lives wondering." "I don't know if I can." "Buffy I've apologised, I'll do it again. I'll do it a hundred times, just please, give me another chance." "But what happens next time?" "What next time?" "Next time something happens. Your paintings don't sell, a car accident, anything. Are you just going to bail again?" "No. Buffy, I was wrong. I see that. I want to change." Buffy sat silently, contemplating things. "I'm new to this relationship stuff." He continued. "The most lasting relationship I've had was with my car." Buffy couldn't help but smile. "I'm not saying it'll be easy. We both have our issues but I think we can get past them. I want to at least try." Buffy finally met his gaze, her eyes shining with unspilled tears. She shook her head. "It's too hard." "NO! It's not hard Buffy, it's easy, one step at a time. You and me, helping each other." Buffy so wanted to believe him. Believe that things could work, that they could be a couple. But what if it didn't work? Angel left his seat and kneeled next to her armchair, taking her hand. "It's easy. We'll take it slow, start with dinner, tonight." "Bu." "Just dinner. One little, harmless dinner." "But it isn't just one dinner." "No, it's a collection of dinner's and movies and talks. But they're still, just one dinner, one movie and one talk. Come on, just try it. Give us a chance to be something." Buffy hesitated then gave a defeated sigh. "OK. Dinner sounds good." Angel smiled. "Great." ***************************** Chapter 7 Over the next week Buffy had dinner with Angelus three times. They were pleasant and all but something was stilted. Buffy was closed off and distant. She knew that if she was going to try this, she had to give it her all but she couldn't. Her walls were firmly back in place and no matter how hard she tried, they wouldn't come down. She knew Angelus was becoming frustrated but he tried not to show it. Buffy wondered how long he would stick around if she kept this up. Part of her wanted him to give up and leave. It would be simple, easy. The other part knew she would never be happy without him though. That part just wasn't strong enough to break her barriers down though. They hadn't kissed again, Buffy kept a distance between them that told him no. He respected that and only got as amorous as to hold her hand now and again. More meals followed along with walks in the park and movies. Buffy never invited him back into her home. That was her space now and she didn't want him there. If he were there it made things harder because everywhere she turned she would see a memory of him sitting in a chair or standing or something. Buffy needed to be clear headed at the moment, not ruled by emotion. Three weeks after the first dinner Angelus took her to the park for a picnic. He had packed half a kitchen's worth of food and seemed really nervous. Buffy wondered why. His cane remained at home today. He had no idea if he could go so long without it but he hated having to use it in front of Buffy. It brought home his shortcomings and reminded him of what an asshole he had been at the hospital. They feasted on chicken pieces, salad, wine and other assorted goodies. They chatted; watched people in the park and Buffy began to feel a little more relaxed. "How's the art going?" she asked. Angelus sighed. "Not sure." "Why?" Angel paused, collecting his thoughts. "I love drawing." "But?" "I just don't feel fulfilled. I know what goes bump in the night now, I can't ignore it." "Couldn't you go back? To the force I mean?" He shook his head. "No, desk job's the best I can hope for." "But it's better than nothing right? At least you'd be helping." "I don't want to shuffle papers. I want to help people, real people." Buffy understood his dilemma. "What about PI work?" "I thought about it. But as long as I'm using a cane I wouldn't be much use." "Then just use this time as a stop gap. Get well, make some money from the art and get your licence." Angel remained silent. "What is it?" He took a deep breath. "Sometimes I just wonder if I'll ever be ready. I'm lucky to have regained this much mobility, maybe this is it." Buffy put her wine glass down, scooted closer and took his hand. "This isn't it. You know that. You're a fighter, a survivor. You will get well and you will start helping people again." Angel didn't look convinced. "Look at me." Reluctantly he turned to look into her eyes. "There's so much more to you than you can see. I see it. I see the drive, the passion, the heart. You can do anything you want to." Angelus sighed. "Maybe." "Definatly. You think I'm just saying this to make you feel better? I'm not. I am a well trained professional, this is my expert opinion." She grinned. Angel cracked a smile. "Could you give it up?" "Helping the police?" He nodded. "I could. I could ignore the faces in the paper and turn a blind eye... Until they come to see me. And they always come. Sometimes relatives, sometimes the police. I just can't say no then. It becomes personal." She paused collecting her thoughts. "It's always so hard. Every case I take home with me, I have nightmares, sometimes for weeks afterwards. But I know in some small way, I helped. It's not much but it's all I can do." "It's everything." He smiled at her. Angel cupped her face in his hand and slowly leaned in closer until their faces were inches apart. Buffy made no move to stop him and he gently brushed his lips over hers. Buffy closed her eyes and returned his kiss as she felt the world slip away until only she and Angel existed. She had no idea how but they ended up lying on the blanket, wrapped in each other's arms. This was where Buffy belonged, in his embrace. Nowhere on earth did she feel so warm and comforted. They lay there hours, not speaking, just enjoying the sensations of the warm sun and the sounds of children playing. As the sun began to set Buff turned and looked down at Angelus. "What?" he asked. "I think I just made a decision." She said bending down and capturing his mouth in another heated kiss. ***************************** Chapter 8 Back at the house Buffy invited him in. the significance of this wasn't lost on him and he graciously accepted. Nervous didn't cover how Buffy was feeling. She was terrified. "Drink?" she asked. "No." "Are you still hungry? I could make us something to eat." She said hovering. "I'm fine really." "Are you sure?" "Buffy." He said taking her hand. "Just sit with me." He said gently pulling her down to his lap. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "What for?" "I.. I'm.. well I'm not really.. Experienced, with this kind of thing." Angelus gently took hold of her chin and turned her to face him. "Maybe we shouldn't." He said sincerely. "No, I want to. Angel.. I'm just scared." He smiled gently at her. "Don't worry about it." he said capturing her mouth in a playful kiss. His hands slowly began to explore her body; he took his time, giving her plenty of opportunity to back out. She made no move to though and he began becoming bolder with his actions, more passionate. Slowly he unbuttoned her shirt, never leaving her mouth, always keeping her occupied and hopefully her fear at bay. He slipped her shirt off her shoulders and picked her up in a fireman's carry as he headed for the stairs. It was such a primitive gesture that Buffy couldn't help but giggle. "Which room?" he asked at the top of the stairs. "Second on the right." Buffy panted. Angelus kicked the door open then closed and gently laid Buffy on the bed. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Now wasn't the time for passion, he had to be gentle. The antics that drove most girls wild would probably just scare Buffy. She needed love, not lust and he showed her in every way he could how much he loved her. The kisses he placed on her skin were done with reverence; the looks he showered upon her body were respectful, not carnal. Slowly he peeled her remaining clothes off then undressed himself and lay beside her, taking her in his arms as he kissed her. Her skin was blushed and her eyes heavy with desire. Slowly he trailed kissed down her body until he knelt beside her hips. Buffy kept her legs closed but Angelus urged them apart with his kisses to her thighs. Slowly they began to part for him and he tasted her, eliciting soft moans from her. He moved now so he was between her thighs and began to build her up to her peak. She began writhing on the bed as he brought her first climax upon her. As she recovered her crawled up her body until he lay over her, his shaft just inches from her sex. She gazed up and him and nodded at his unasked question. Angelus looked around the room. "What?" asked Buffy. "Protection." He mumbled. Spotting his pants he quickly climbed off her and retrieved a condom from his wallet. The thought hadn't even occurred to Buffy. He climbed back on to her and kissed her while he unwrapped the condom and rolled it over his shaft. He wanted nothing more than to plunge into her and take her with all the passion he had been repressing for months. But he couldn't. He waited a few moments until he was back in control then placed himself at her entrance. Slowly he filled her and she gasped at the intrusion. "Are you ok?" he asked, concerned. Buffy lay there panting. "Fine, I just forgot.. How good it feels." Angelus began moving within her, taking his time for his sake as much as hers. He was ready to burst after all these months and knew if he didn't take things slowly, he would cum there and then. Gradually he built up a rhythm inside her and she began to match his thrusts. Bending his head he began to suckle at one of her nipples, roughly flicking it with his tongue and making Buffy gasp. He felt her second orgasm approaching and as her sheath clamped down around his shaft he came inside her. Buffy had no idea how long they stayed in that position, just holding each other. Eventually Angelus climbed off and Buffy mewed at the loss of contact. He slipped his condom off and returned to the bed, gathering her into his arms and peppering her forehead with tiny kisses. "Thank you." He said. Buffy stroked his chest as her reply. She was scared. She had crossed a line tonight and she could never go back. She didn't want to go back but she was fearful of what the future held. ******************************* Chapter 9 Buffy awoke in the morning to an empty bed. Her heart quickened, had he left her having got what he wanted? No. No, he couldn't. Could he? Not after.. It had been wonderful; even better the next two times. She pulled on a terry towelling robe and went to look for him. "Morning." He said looking up from the stove. His hair was wet and his decency only protected by a towel. "Hope you don't mind, I used your shower." "Uh, no." said Buffy trying to drag her gaze from his chest to his face. "I made pancakes. Thought we could use the energy." He winked at her conspiratorially. Buffy blushed but she was starved. "Thanks." She poured some coffee and sat at the island as Angelus handed her a plate of pancakes. "You trying to make me fat?" she asked. "Never." He returned to the stove to fill his plate then joined her to eat. They sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say. As Angelus finished his plate he decided he had to know something. "Buffy. Did I ruin things last night?" Buffy smiled and shook her head. "No. It's me." His heart pounded as he thought she was about to deliver the 'it's not you, it's me,' dumping line. "I'm sorry I just.. I'm new at this and I got a little freaked out. Please be patient with me." He smiled, relived not to have been given his marching orders. "Do you want some space?" he asked. As he saw Buffy's expression cloud he realised he'd probably said that wrong. "I mean.. What I mean is, I'd love to spent the day with you, but if you want to be alone, I don't mind." Buffy smiled coyly. "I could go for some company." She turned from the island and switched the radio on. "Lets see what the weather forecast is. More coffee?" "No, sit with me." Buffy took her seat again and they chatted as Shakira sung about clothes and territory. "I feel like a lazy day." Said Buffy. "Something along the lines of sunbathing and sangria?" "Something like that. We could cook a bar." Buffy stopped as she noticed Angelus looking towards the radio, not paying her any attention. "In news headlines. A college freshman is attacked, house prices set to rise, and the governor announces a clamp down on the anti smoking laws." "What?" asked Buffy. Angelus looked back and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, just the college freshman story, old habits." "You worried?" He shook his head. "I'm sure the campus police already have someone." He missed the rest of the story but he supposed that was no bad thing. "And in weather, it's going to be a gorgeous day, sunny, around about 30 degrees and with slight, westerly winds." "Looks like we got our wish." Said Buffy. The rest of the day was spent relaxing in the sun and sipping wine. Angelus cooked a barbeque once the heat abated slightly and he spent the night again. **************************** Chapter 10 "Well, someone looks happy today." Remarked Sally, the History professor. Buffy blushed slightly. "Cant a girl be happy now?" "Not without giving me the details. Who is he, what does he do, how long has this been going on and when can I met him?" Buffy smiled. "Some other time. Promise." Sally looked downtrodden. "Yeah yeah, that's what they all say." She teased. "Stop it, I have a class." Sally stepped out of the way and as Buffy left se called out. "I will find out you know." Everyone seemed to notice the new, happier Buffy and Buffy wasn't sure she liked it. Still, she supposed if she didn't like the attention, she should stop grinning like a maniac. She returned to her office after her last class and as she entered the office she was grabbed from behind. "What do you want?" she asked. "You." He said kissing her neck. "My boyfriend gets possessive when people do that." "We wont tell him." Angelus assured her. Buffy turned to face him, smiling. "I should be mad, making me jump after what I went through." "You knew it was me." Buffy tried to frown at him but was only half successful. "And how would you know that." "Because I knew it was you coming." He said returning his attention to her neck. "Ooh," she moaned before getting back on track. "This is my office anyway, who else would it be?" it was getting harder and harder to think clearly. As Angelus picked her up and sat her on the edge of the desk she gave up, there was no way she could fight him off, mainly because she didn't want to. "Buffy?" called Sally as Buffy and Angelus left together. Buffy groaned inwardly but turned to her with a smile. "Hi." "So, is this him?" she said eyeing Angelus. Buffy decided against lying. "Yes, this is him." Sally stuck her hand out. "Pleased to meet you." "Likewise." "Buffy's told us absolutely nothing about you, what do you do?" "I'm in between things right now." "Oh." Sally said, she expression clouding. Buffy didn't like it. "He used to work for the LAPD, he's now working as an artist until he gets his PI licence." "Oh, how lovely." "We have to go." Said Buffy turning and pulling Angelus with her. "Wait, there was a reason I stopped you. Here." She said handing Buffy a flyer. "Everyone's supposed to have one." "Thanks." "What is it?" asked Angelus as Buffy read the leaflet. "It's about safety on campus." She said absently putting it in her purse. "You know Buffy, you don't need to defend me, I really don't care what that woman thinks of me not working right now." "I know. I'm sorry. She just looked so.. Like she looked down on you, I didn't like it." "Buffy." He said stopping. She turned back to him. "What?" "Are you ashamed of me?" Buffy's face fell. "NO! How could you say such a thing?" "It's just, I'm not as educated as you, I don't have a job right now. I can't even be a police officer very well." He said indicating his cane. Buffy closed the space between them. "Angelus, I don't care what degrees you have or don't have or what you have in the bank or how many bad guys you get. I.. I love you, end of story. You will never be anything but wonderful as far as I'm concerned." He smiled back. "I love you too." Angelus sat reading the paper the next morning. The freshman attack was the second in three weeks. He was worried. It wasn't rational; this guy was going after students, not teachers. Still, he was concerned for Buffy. ******************************** Chapter 11 "Angelus?" called Buffy entering his apartment. "You here?" "Be out in a minute." Buffy took a seat and waited for him. Glancing around she noticed the pack for his PI licence and absently began flicking through it. She was pleased he was getting back to doing what he needed to. She hated that he was miserable. It wasn't that he didn't like being an artist, he did. And it paid the rent nicely. But Buffy could tell he missed helping people like he used to. Angelus emerged a few moments later and smiled at her. "You checking up on me?" "Of course. As is every woman's right. You think I don't see the way my students faun over you when you visit me?" Angelus kissed her. "They're not a patch on you." "Mmm, say more things like that." "Love to, but we have to go." Buffy checked her watch. He was right, they were meeting Giles in an hour so they had to get going. "OK, OK. But tell me later." "Deal." "Angelus, I'm fine." Angelus sighed. "I know, I'm just worried about you. Carry it for me?" Buffy took the mace spray. "OK. But he isn't even targeting teachers, all the victims are young girls." "I know but just in case." Buffy put the spray in her handbag. She wasn't sure why she made such a fuss, before she moved here she carried it as a matter of course. She liked not having to worry so much here but she supposed it was foolish not to given there was an attacker on the loose. He had raped four young women so far but the college police weren't giving much information out, other than a vague description. And half the male students she taught fit that description. "So, how's the PI licence coming?" she asked, changing the subject. "Great, I got the date to take the test." "When?" "Next week." "Then that's it?" she asked, surprised at how easy it was. "No. I need to show proof of my criminal law degree and 2 and a half years service. Send photos and fingerprints off; pass a 2-hour test on the laws and regulations of California, terminology, civil and criminal liability, evidence handling, undercover investigations, and surveillance. Then the FBI performs a background check, and then if I pass everything I send a couple of hundred dollars off and hey presto. Then I start applying for permit to carry." "Oh. Good luck." Angelus smiled. "Don't worry, with my years service it's fine. Nothing I haven't done before." "Good." She wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him. She was so much happier now. It was like taking the decision to trust him had lifted a weight from her shoulders. She still worried occasionally. Usually irrational fears like him leaving her or her scaring him away or his cheating on her. Deep down she knew that this was it though. This was the best shot she had ever had and she wasn't going to blow it on her fears. A week later there had been another attack. Angelus pored over the article, hoping for some clue. The campus police wouldn't speak to him, so the paper was all he had to go on. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, his licence wasn't through yet and he was stepping on toes. But he couldn't not do it. Buffy was at risk and he would do everything he could to keep her safe. He had been to see the victims and their friends himself to get information. He had asked all of them for a description while he sketched and he ended up with four similar pictures. He would see the latest victim in a few days once she had recovered. He wanted to go now but he knew the police would be there and wouldn't give him a look in. As much as he hated waiting; it was all he could do. He had shown the sketches to Buffy but they hadn't struck a chord with her. He stood and stretched as he headed for another mug of coffee. "How's the investigation?" asked Buffy as they shared lunch in the grounds of the university. "What investigation?" "The informal one you're carrying out. You think I don't know where you got those sketches? Please." Angelus looked sheepish. "Sorry." "Don't be. Truth be told I'm getting kind of nervous. I know there's extra security but I'll feel safer once he's caught." "Me too. As to what I have, not much. His schedule looks to be Monday or Tuesday evenings. Possibly he has other events on the remaining evenings. He has committed one attack on Friday but it was just the one." "Have you looked into clubs?" "Clubs?" "Yeah, if he's busy every evening but Monday and Tuesday it could be he's a member of some clubs." "What clubs." Buffy's brow furrowed in concentration. "There's chess club, they meet Monday and Thursday, hip hop dance every Wednesday. Umm.. The swim team meet three nights a week, not sure which though.. I could probably get you a list of you wanted?" "Please. Might help." Angelus sat pouting over the list of groups and clubs the university had. Everything from yoga to kickboxing. Most of the sports teams met on a Monday or Tuesday so they were ruled out except for the pool team, which met Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. The list of other activities was huge. Salsa dance, yoga, table tennis, tai chi, debate club, the movie club, the horror movie club, the sci fi club, the computer club, the computer gaming club, the college planning committee, a handful of religious clubs and a few clubs supporting charities. This felt like square one but Angelus felt better than he had done in ages. He was doing what he loved and hopefully, making a difference. He picked up his jacket and headed for the door. He'd try and question a few of the club owners and see if they recognised the picture's he had. As he headed for the door he looked over to his cane. He didn't really need it these days but he liked it as a security thing, in case he should over stretch himself. No, he didn't need it today. He'd have to break the habit one day, why not now. ************************ Chapter 12 "Hey Buff." "Hi. Did we have a lunch date?" "No, I was here working." Buffy rolled her eyes. "You're never going to sell your art work if you don't do any." "I told you my terms." He said, grinning wolfishly. "Yeah, if I pose. Contrary to what you might believe, not everyone wants a picture of me on their wall." She decided it wasn't worth arguing about; his PI licence would be here soon. "So, what can I do you for?" "Can you find me a class schedule for Morton Herrald?" "Probably, what's his major?" "History." "He your suspect?" "Yeah." Buffy turned to her computer and began typing. "Morton Herrald." She mumbled as she typed. "Why do I know that name?" "He's the son of Charles Herrald, the computer guy." "Oh, what's he doing at a little uni like this? Surely with their money one of the Ivy League's is more like it." "I don't know yet, hoping to find out." "Shit!" exclaimed Angelus slamming his front door. "Honey?" called Buffy from the bedroom. Angelus groaned inwardly. He hadn't known she was here. He shouldn't have given her a key. Now she would see his temper first hand and she wouldn't like it. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Buffy wandered out from the bedroom wearing one of his shirts, it drowned her small figure. "What's the matter?" she asked. "Nothing." He said heading for the kitchen. Buffy sighed and followed him. "Tell me." She demanded from the doorway. "It's that Morton guy and because of daddies money and position they aren't going to do anything!" he looked at the mug he was holding then smashed it against the floor. Buffy jumped back in surprise. "Hey." She said scared. "We'll work it out." "No we wont. WE wont do anything. We can't do anything." He snapped. "OK, you'll work it out." She said carefully. Angelus shook his head. "There's nothing left to do." He stormed past her and headed out the front door. Buffy watched him leave; both hurt by his dismissal of her and scared by his temper. She should never have trusted him, she decided as she pulled her trousers on. He was going to hurt her. Maybe this one wouldn't be physically violent, but out bursts like that did nothing for her confidence in that regard. As she was on her way out she noticed the envelope from the Bureau of Security and Investigative services. His licence, which was why she stayed to wait for him, so they could celebrate. She picked the envelope up and placed it on the bed so he would be sure to see it. She left the champagne and roses here they were. Hopefully he'd get into bed and fall in a thorn! Angelus walked for hours. He knew he should go back to Buffy, apologise but right now he couldn't. A rapist was walking round and nothing was being done. He wanted to pound the little shit himself but he knew he couldn't, that would screw his licence application up. He found himself walking past Buffy's house for the third time and wondered how it was he kept making it back here. 'Because you know you need to apologise.' Yeah, he did. But not now, now while he was like this. He headed home. Angelus walked into the apartment again to find it empty, as expected. He got a Bud from the fridge and went to shower. In the bedroom though he discovered something devastating. Romance. There were candles all around the room, roses and rose petals covering the bed and an ice bucket with champagne in by the side of the bed. The ice was long melted. He groaned and leaned his head back against the wall. He had really blown things this time. Next he noticed the envelope on the pillow and picked it up. It was marked BSIS, it was his licence. She had planned a celebration for him and he had basically spat in her face. Signing, he turned to go back to Buffy's house. The apology couldn't wait. He walked up the steps, took a beep breath and knocked. Buffy answered and just looked at him. "Can I come in?" "I think it's best if you don't." "I'm sorry." "No, I am. You promised that when things got tough you wouldn't run out on us. I shouldn't have believed you." "I didn't run out, I went for a walk." He knew full well though that he had pushed her away again. "Look, I'm sorry," she said, tears spilling over her cheeks. "But I can't do this." "Bullshit." "Excuse me?" she asked incredulously. "Just that. You're not good at relationships so I give you time, months in fact. I have trouble adjusting to being in my first committed relationship and you want to bail after our first fight." He was right. He was just as new to this as she was. "You scared me." She said. "I know, and I'm sorry. Please forgive me then we can move on, I'll try and be better." Buffy swallowed, contemplating things. Did he deserve another chance or was she just justifying his actions. She guessed she would never know the answer to that one. "OK, but if I ever see an out burst like that again I will be gone. It took me years to get over last time, I wont do it again." "I'd never hurt you Buffy." "I know, but I see that temper and it frightens me." "I'll work on it. I really will." Buffy opened the door wide and he stepped in and hugged her. ******************************* Chapter 13 "I did some thinking." Said Buffy rolling over to look at Angelus. "What about?" "The rapist. You have your licence so I figured you could go to the papers now your accredited." "Hmm, that's not half bad." "See, you should have come to me." Angelus rolled his eyes; it was going to take him a while to live this down. "I should." "Should also help business, show how good you are." He smiled and pulled her close. "What did I do to deserve you?" "Saving my life was a start." CAMPUS POLICE IGNORE RAPE SUSPECT. Following a spate of attacks at UC Sunnydale, the police have been searching for a suspect. This reporter has learnt from a local PI that the suspect was under their noses all the time but police refused to consider him. Angelus Devero, of Angel Investigations ran his own investigation into the attacks when he feared his partner, a professor at the college, could be in danger. "I had to do something." He said. "I tried to cooperate with the police but they shut me out, so I ran my own investigation." And he uncovered a lot. The chief suspect is one Morton Herrald, son of Charles Herrald. Having seen the evidence Angelus collected I believe there is a good case for this mans arrest. When asked why the police hadn't even questioned Herrald, Angelus suggested it was because of his family connections. Campus police were unavailable for comment at the time of going to press....... "I don't like being called your partner, makes me sound like a man." She said reading over his shoulder. Angelus smiled. "No one could mistake you for a man." "Are your cards printed?" "Pick 'em today." Buffy sat nervously opposite him at the island. "What is it?" Angelus asked. "I was thinking." "Mmm?" he prompted. "Well you're starting this new business and renting office space and you wont have time to work on your art as much so I thought that." She took a breath, realising she was rambling. "Well, it seems silly to have two places. We spend most of our time here anyway, so I wondered if, maybe you fancied.. Moving in." Angelus sat watching her, an amused smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "What?" Buffy asked nervously wondering if she'd offended his male pride. "What!" "I was going to save this until later but." He disappeared into the hallway. "Angelus?" He didn't reply but appeared a few moments later. "I.. Well I bought you something." "Ooh, I like presents." "It's not really a present." "Ok, stop with the weird and tell me." Angelus stood in front of her and produced a ring box from behind his back. He opened it to reveal a platinum ring with a heart shaped diamond. "Oh my god. It's beautiful." Said Buffy. "It's a claddagh. The hands represent friendship, the crown loyalty and he heart is for love." Buffy looked up into his eyes. "Marry me?" he asked. Buffy began to cry. "Is that a no?" he asked, wondering if he'd done this too soon. "No." "It's a yes?" "Yes?" Buffy choked out. Angelus swept Buffy off her chair and kissed her. "You wont be sorry." He promised. "I know." THE END.
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