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		Title: Sibling Rivalry Chapter#: (11/?) Author Name: Spike's Slayer Vixen Author Email: sara_pridmore@yahoo.com Disclaimer: As much as I would like to take credit for them, I don't own any of the BTVS or Ats characters. Summary: This fic is an answer to a challenge from Jay. Angelus Harris (22) and his younger brother Alexander (a.k.a. Xander, 17) just moved to L.A. with their family. Their father is in the military so they move around a lot. Now it seems L.A. might be the new and also permanent home for the Harris family. Alexander immediately starts his senior year at his new school, Hemery High, guess who he meets. Yup he meets a beautiful, popular, and smart 17-year-old girl named Buffy Ann Summers. He immediately falls for the princess of Hemery. Though will she feel the same for him? And If she does, what happens when she meets his sexy, older brother?.... Pairings: B/A, hints of possible X/F Category: Drama Spoilers: Buffy and Riley are twins. Angelus is tall, dark, mysterious, and kind of a playboy, and he and Xander don't get along most of the time. Rating: NC-17 (for language) Author's comments: Okay gang, this chapter is a little shorter than usual, but chapter ten didn't exactly turn out as I had originally planned so it kind of threw things out of wack. Anyway, I wanted to get this next chapter out before the weekend so you guys wouldn't have to be left hanging. I'll try to work on more this weekend, but I'll be gone so I can't make any promises. Feedback: You know I want it...please don't make me beg ;) AN: Still not beta'd so I hope it makes sense. AN2: Lyrics by Cibo Matto; some dialogue, etc. from the episode "When She Was Bad." "Angel?" she asked hesitantly, placing a hand on his arm. "Hmmm?" he mumbled, raising his head and looking up at her with bleary eyes. "Buffy?" he croaked out in disbelief. "Is it really you?" "It's me," she told him. "Angel, what are you doing here? Are you drunk?" "Just a little," he mumbled. "I just wanted to...forget. I just wanted to feel numb for a little while, you know?" "You mean you just want to escape your responsibilities," Buffy said crossly. "You know, Angel, you are just running away from your problems by doing this, but it's only temporary. Tomorrow you are going to wake up and all of your problems are still going to be there, along with one hell of a headache." "Don't you miss me even a little bit?" he asked her. "No, I don't," she said coldly. "I miss the man that I *thought* you were, but I don't miss the real you at all. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't even know the real you, and honestly, I don't *want* to know the real you. I've seen enough to know that much." "Buffy, I never meant to hurt you," he said in a thick voice. "I know what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry-" "You know what? Don't even bother," she said, holding her hand up to silence him. "I can't talk about this with you right now." She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Buffy, please, give me another chance," he begged, tears forming in his eyes. "Please, baby, I'm nothing without you. I wish I could take it all back, but-" "But you can't," Buffy said, her own tears stinging her eyes. "You can't take any of it back, Angel. What's done is done, and we are over. I'm sorry, but that is the way it has to be." She jerked her arm away from him and took a step back. "You're drunk, and you're pathetic, and you need to just go home." With that, she turned on her heel and marched off, leaving him alone at the bar with tears of sorrow streaming down his cheeks. When she made it back to the table, she was surprised to see that Faith was gone. "Hey, Xand," she said, sliding into the seat across from him. "Where's Faith?" "She went home, I guess," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "We kind of had a fight. I'm pretty sure that things are over between us." "I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "Are you okay?" "I'll be fine," he assured her. "What about you? You look kind of...out of it." "Yeah, well, I just had a run in with your big brother," she said sourly. "He's at the bar drinking himself stupid as we speak." "What a moron," Xander said coldly. "Buffy, I don't know what you saw in him. You deserve better." "Thanks, Xand, that means a lot," she said with a smile. She couldn't help but glance back at the bar and saw Angel sitting there staring at her with a forlorn look on his face. The image of he and Darla locked together in a passionate embrace kept flashing through her mind, and suddenly she felt the urge to hurt Angel, to make him feel the kind of pain that she had felt when she found out that he had slept with another girl. Just then, the opening rifts of a slow song floated through the Bronze and Buffy got a brilliant idea. //The velocity of time turns her voice into sugar water// "Hey, Xander, let's dance," she said, standing up and pulling him by the shirt. //I'm on a concrete way The wind is blowing to the north-northwest It smells like sands of the southern island When a black cat crosses my path A woman in the moon is singing to the earth A woman in the moon is singing to the earth La la la, la la la la la la La la la, la la la la la la// "Ooo-kay," Xander said, allowing her to pull him onto the dance floor. His heart thundered in his chest as they began to sway to the rhythm of the music. Buffy's moves were slow and sensual, and Xander found himself unable to really move, mostly just standing there and admiring the way her body moved. His breathe caught in his throat when she turned around and pressed her body against his, pulling his arms around her waist, and when she began to grind her ass against his crotch he had to suppress a groan. Vixen, he thought to himself as he felt his cock begin to stir in his pants. //I'm riding on a camel that has big eyes The buildings are changing into coconut trees Little by little// Buffy could feel Angel's eyes burning into her as she rubbed herself against Xander shamelessly. That's right, baby, she thought to herself. Hurts, doesn't it. She almost laughed out loud as she reached up and stroked Xander's face gently, gazing up into his eyes intimately. After making a show of grinding against him for a few more moments, she turned to him, tilting her head up so that their lips were only inches apart. He could feel the heat of her breath as she whispered his name. "Xander? Did I ever thank you...for trying to protect me from your brother?" //When a black cat crosses my path A woman in the moon is singing to the earth// "No," he choked out, gazing down at her with lust filled eyes. //A woman in the moon is singing to the earth La la la, la la la la la la La la la, la la la la la la// Buffy walked around him, never losing contact with his body. She ran her hands along his stomach and chest, sending goose bumps up and down his arms from her touch. Coming back to stand in from of him, she leaned in by his ear, her lips so close that he could feel them brush his ear when she spoke. "Don't you wish I would?" she asked before breaking away from him, walking off of the dance floor and leaving him standing all alone, completely dumbfounded. She walked briskly back to the table, grabbed her jacket, and headed out the door, feeling Angel's eyes following her the whole way. She was just slipping on her jacket when the sound of someone clapping sounded behind her, startling her. She spun around quickly to see a handsome blonde man in a black leather coat leaning against the side of the building, clapping his hands together with a smirk. "Well now, that was quite a show you put on in there, cutie," the young man said. He regarded her coolly with piercing blue eyes, and as she stared back at him she quickly noted his British accent and the fact that he had the most amazing cheekbones she had ever seen. "Glad you enjoyed it," she said calmly. "Ah, that I did," he said, taking a puff of the cigarette he held in his long, narrow fingers. "My only question is...which bloke were you trying to punish?" "Excuse me?" "Was it the dark haired one at the bar or the poor whelp you were rubbing all over on the dance floor? Because they both looked pretty ripped apart by the time you were through in there," he said. "You are quite the little hurricane, aren't you? Ripping your way through, leaving broken men in your path. You don't seem too concerned about it either." Buffy narrowed her eyes angrily. "You don't even know me," she said sharply. "So where exactly do you get off judging me?" "I just call 'em as I see 'em, luv," he said with a shrug. "I'll have you know that the tall, dark, and handsome one is my son of a bitch ex-boyfriend," she informed him. "And after what he has done, he deserves everything he gets." "And the other?" "The other? That was his brother, Xander, who is actually another ex of mine," she informed him. "But we are still friends." "Friends?" he snorted. "Well, you looked more than friendly in there a moment ago. That is until you left him standing there high and dry." "I-I didn't mean to lead him on," Buffy said defensively. "I was just trying to-" "To make the other one jealous? Doesn't sound to me like you're over him then," the man said knowingly. "Well, I'm trying to be," she said softly. "It's just hard and...and I have absolutely no idea why I'm telling you this." She smiled despite herself, feeling silly for revealing so much to a stranger. The blonde man raised an eyebrow at her. He was quite taken with her beauty, especially when she smiled, and despite the behavior he had witnessed out of her that evening, he somehow got the impression that she was really a good, caring person inside. There just seemed to be an aura surrounding her that glowed with her kindness. "Maybe the problem is that you just need someone to talk to about all of it with," he told her. "Maybe you just need a friend. Despite the punishment that I have witnessed you raining down upon your male 'friends' I just want you to know that if you need an ear, I can spare mine for a little while." He took a step towards her, stretching out his hand. "The name's Spike." "Buffy," she said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. "And as much as I appreciate the offer, I have friends that I can talk to." "Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn't so close," he told her. "You know, a fresh perspective and all of that." She was about to decline his offer again, but she stopped herself before the words were out of her mouth. Maybe this was actually just what she needed. If she was going to get over Angel and move on, she was going to have to start somewhere, and from where she was standing, she could do a lot worse than the handsome Brit standing in front of her. "You know what? Maybe you are right," she said. "Do you want to go get some coffee or something?" Coffee. Now that was a nice, safe place to go to talk and get to know someone. "Sure, luv. It would be an honor," he said, taking her hand and tossing his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with his boot. "Lead the way." ******************************************************* By the time Xander had managed to recover from Buffy's performance on the dance floor, she had already grabbed her coat and went outside. He pushed his way through the crowd until he made it to the door, but when he stepped outside, Buffy was already walking off with some blonde guy that he had never seen before. Cursing to himself, he leaned against the side of the building, trying desperately to will his hormones under control. He wondered who the guy was that she was leaving with. He looked kind of dangerous to Xander, and he thought that maybe he should follow them, just to make sure that his Buffy was safe. He gave them a five-minute head start and was just about to take off after them when he heard the door open behind him. He started to whirl around but found that he really couldn't move, or at least not on his own free will. He felt himself being lifted on his feet and pinned up against the wall, and he found himself staring his brother in the face. "What the hell are you doing?" Xander snarled, struggling to free himself from Angel's grasp. "Put me down now." "I saw you in there with her, you little fuck," Angel growled furiously. "What the hell did you think you were doing, huh? Answer me, boy," Angel yelled, shaking Xander so hard that the boy's teeth chattered together. "I *thought* that I was dancing with her," Xander said, narrowing his eyes angrily. He was not about to let his brother intimidate him. "It's allowed you know. She's not your girl anymore." "She's not yours either," Angel said, slamming Xander up against the wall. "She will be," Xander said with a cold smile. "Never," Angel hissed, his face so close that Xander could smell the liquor on his breath. "Well, maybe she will be and maybe she won't," Xander admitted," but one thing is for sure...she'll never be yours again. You fucked that up yourself." "I love her," Angel said hoarsely, his eyes filling with tears. Xander's words stung him because he knew that his little brother was right. He had lost Buffy for good, and there was no one to blame but himself. "Yeah, well, so do I but that didn't stop you from taking her away from me, did it?" Xander snapped. "You could have had any girl you wanted, Angel. Why did you have to have *my* girlfriend? Well, now you've lost her, too. Hurts doesn't it, asshole?" Angel looked like he had been slapped in the face as Xander's words penetrated the alcohol-induced fog that seemed to be clouding Angel's brain. Slowly, he lowered Xander until his feet touched the ground again. Noticing that Buffy was nowhere to be seen, he felt a surge of panic and fear course through his body. "Where is she?" he asked nervously. "She left with some guy I've never seen before," Xander admitted. "She was already leaving by the time I made it out here." Fuck it, he thought to himself. Howe else was he going to explain Buffy's absence? Might as well tell the truth. Besides, as much as Xander didn't want to admit it, deep in his heart he knew that he would never have Buffy as his girl ever again. Angel looked at him with a sad smile. "Looks like we both lost, little brother," he said before turning and walking away, leaving Xander staring after him. As Angel stumbled home, Xander's words echoed over and over in his head. His little brother was right about everything...about him losing Buffy, about him being a crummy brother, about everything. Angel had come to realize lately what a terrible person he had been in the past. The way he had used women, the way he had stolen Buffy right out from under Xander, the way that he had used lies and manipulation to win Buffy over...he deserved everything that was happening to him. Yes, he thought to himself, this is my punishment for being an asshole my whole life. As he got closer to his house, he wondered how he was going to get in without waking his parents and them discovering how drunk he really was. He was on thin ice as it was. When he had told them about Darla and the pregnancy, they had absolutely flipped out. He'd had to listen to them yell and scream at him for hours. That's why the last thing he needed was to have a run in with them tonight. His house swam before him, never sitting still as a house should, but kind of floating before him like a mirage. Thankfully, he had thought to leave a ladder hidden in the bushes outside, underneath his window. As quietly as he could, he leaned the ladder against the house and began to climb up to his bedroom window. He felt very unsteady, and the one time he dared to look down, he became so dizzy that he was sure he was going to fall. Clutching the ladder tightly, he managed to climb the rest of the way up and pull himself into his window where he flopped down on his bed in exhaustion. He had no choice but to leave the ladder where it was and hope that his parents didn't notice it in the morning. He kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers, still fully clothed, and closed his eyes, letting the alcohol-induced sleepiness take over his body. Tomorrow he would have to get up and go to school and act like everything was perfectly normal, like his heart wasn't broken into a million pieces. The day after that, he would have to take Darla to the doctor and listen to her moan and groan the whole time. From now on, that's what his life would be filled with...Darla's bitching. He would never be able to get away from it because, whether he liked it or not, she was always going to be in his life. She was the mother of his child. He wondered vaguely why Buffy couldn't have been the mother of his children. Life just isn't fair, he decided as he pulled the blankets up over his head. The last thing he remembered thinking before passing out in his bed that night was that his life as he knew it was over. Chapter 12 It didn't take Xander long to convince himself that his first impressions had been wrong of Buffy leaving with another guy. In fact, by the time he had made it back to his house he had thought of a million different reasons that she could have done what had she done, none of which were that she had just met another guy that she was attracted to. No, that couldn't be it, because she was supposed to be with Xander. She was a little hurt right now, true, and a little vulnerable, but when she began to feel more like herself, she would see that Xander was the man for her. The guy was probably just an old friend of hers, he told himself. Or maybe he was lost and she was helping him get to where he needed to go. She was a kindhearted person, after all, and something like that wouldn't surprise him at all. *His* Buffy wouldn't just go off with some guy she didn't even know. And so his delusions helped him sleep better that night, and he woke up fresh and rested the next day. When he arrived at school, however, it was a whole other ballgame. He pushed his way through the throng of students, making his way towards Buffy's locker, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of her before homeroom. When he finally made it, he was glad to see that she was there at her locker, standing there with one of her friends whom she was talking to excitedly. He couldn't believe his luck! He was actually going to get a chance to talk to her. A wide, goofy grin spread across his face as he adjusted the strap of his backpack and then reached out a hand to tap her on the shoulder. Tap, tap, tap. Buffy turned around in mid-sentence, a curious look on her face. When she saw it was him, she smiled briefly, greeted him with a "Hey, Xand," and then turned back around to finish her story. Ever persistent, Xander stayed rooted to his spot, dying to know what it was that she was talking about that was so important that she would just brush him off like that. He felt his smile begin to fade a little as he listened in on what she was telling her friend. "I'm telling you, Sophie, he is so great! I couldn't believe it when he talked to me last night. Me! I was stunned that someone like him would pay me any attention at all. He is just so handsome...he has these incredibly blue eyes...cheek bones to die for..." she trailed off with a dreamy sigh. "Oh and he has this bad boy thing going for him. I mean, I guess I could kind of see it. His name *is* Spike, and I have to admit that I think it's kind of sexy. Dangerous, you know? And his accent! Oh, it makes my knees weak every time he speaks." Xander felt like the wind had just been knocked out of him. Buffy Summers, the love of his life, was standing there going on and on about other guy when he was standing *right there*. God, didn't she know how much it was hurting him to hear all of that? He leaned heavily against the lockers for support as her words crashed around him like waves that threatened to swallow him up. "I can't believe the connection I felt to him either. I mean, we just met but I feel like I've known him forever," she gushed. "It was like an instant connection. Ooh, and did I mention he has a motorcycle? He took me for a ride on it last night, and it was so exciting. I'm telling you, Sophie, I had the time of my life." Buffy slammed her locker door shut, causing Xander to jump a mile, and the two girls began to walk off, Buffy still chattering steadily about Spike the whole time. When they were safely out of earshot, Sophie looked at Buffy with wide eyes. "Wow, Buffy, that was quite a story you just told," Sophie whispered. "And it was *completely* different than the one you told me, like five minutes ago. What's the deal? Which one is the real story?" Buffy sighed in exasperation, as if Sophie were the most clueless person on the face of the earth. "Okay, the story that I told you just a few minutes ago? That was the real story. Spike and I went for coffee, talked for a long time, and decided that we just want to be friends. He let me vent about Angel, and I listened while he told me all about his ex-girlfriend. It was like a Lonely Hearts club with two members. I mean, he's supposed to pick me up after school and we are going out tonight for pizza and a movie, but it's purely as friends. In fact, I think that I may introduce him to Faith eventually." "So why the fake story back there in front of Xander?" Sophie asked in confusion. "Because Xander will go back and tell Angel that I have a new boyfriend," Buffy explained. "He'll see that I've moved on just fine without him and that I am *so* over him." "Which you're *so* not," Sophie stated. "Right," Buffy said with a sheepish smile. "But I figure that I can pretend I'm over him until I actually get over him. It seemed like a good plan at the time." "I hope you know what you are doing," Sophie said with a sigh. "I do," Buffy said confidently right before they walked into their homeroom class. Meanwhile, Xander stood there, slack jawed and shocked as he watched the two girls walk down the hall and disappear into a classroom. How could Buffy do that to him? How could she go out with another guy? Didn't she know how much he loved her? Didn't she realize that she was supposed to be with him forever? As his mind tried to process all of the information that he had just taken in from listening to Buffy's conversation, the bell rang, signaling for all students to get to homeroom, but he never heard it. It wasn't until the hall monitor tapped him on the shoulder and told him to move along that he nodded numbly and headed for class. ******************************************************* The whole rest of the day was filled with more of the same for Xander. It seemed like every class he went in was filled with the buzz of Buffy and her new boyfriend. The wheels of the gossip mill were practically smoking as the details of Buffy's new relationship swirled around school, and Xander couldn't help but think that nobody ever talked about his and Buffy's relationship with so much interest. He wondered what exactly made this new guy so damned special, and so he decided to find out as much about him as he could. As he listened in on conversations throughout the day, he found out that the guy went to school at the local community college, that he was twenty- three, that he smoked and drank, and that he was a complete hottie, at least according to Cordelia. Xander also found out that Spike was picking her up from school and decided that he had to be there to get a better look at this guy. He had already decided that he didn't trust Buffy's new boyfriend one bit. Sure enough, when three fifteen rolled around, a blonde guy clad in a black leather jacket roared up on a motorcycle and Buffy hopped on behind him. Xander noted that she was grinning wildly and her arms were wrapped tightly around the guy's waist. As he watched them drive off together on the motorcycle, he felt as if his hopes for ever having Buffy again were going up in smoke, much like the exhaust the bike had left in its wake. Xander trudged home slowly, wondering where he had gone wrong. He had been so sure that once Buffy and Angel broke up, Buffy would be his again. How could some other guy have slipped in and taken his place? Now he had no one. He didn't have Faith, he didn't have Buffy...he was back to being the same old Xander he had always been...a big fat loser. Suddenly, his backpack felt heavier and the world around him seemed to dull. He had lost her. Swinging open his front door, he dropped his backpack to the floor with a thud and made his way into the kitchen. He was surprised to see his mother standing there, washing dishes absentmindedly at the kitchen sink. His mother was never home this time of day...in fact, she never got home from work until at least seven o'clock. He felt his stomach twist as the realization dawned on him that something must be terribly wrong. From the way she was dressed, it didn't look as if she had gone to work at all that day, and his mother *never* missed work. "Mom?" Xander said hesitantly, taking a seat at the kitchen table. His mother turned around quickly, a startled look on her face. "Oh, Xander," she said breathlessly. "I didn't hear you come in. Did you just get home from school?" "Uh, yeah, I just walked in the door," he said uneasily. "Mom, is something...wrong?" His mother sighed, drying her hands off on a dishtowel before taking a seat across from him at the kitchen table. She rubbed her eyes wearily, and he thought to himself that he had never seen his mother look so old. "Yes, darling, I guess you could say that. In fact, I guess you could say that everything has been wrong here lately." She stared down at her hands, keeping her head bent down purposefully, but Xander could still see the tears in her eyes. "I stayed home today to take care of your brother. He must have drank himself nearly to death last night," she said dully. "I don't really know what to say anymore. It's hard for me to feel sorry for him because he *knew* not to have sex without protection, but he's still my son, and it breaks my heart to see him this way. He has lost everything, you know? Everything that meant anything to him. He told me yesterday that this was going to be his last semester in school. He's dropping out so that he can get a job to help support the baby. He lost Buffy...not that I can say I blame her for her decision. It's just that I have never seen your brother care about a person as much as he cares for her, and I think out of everything that has happened this last week or so, her breaking up with him was the thing that broke him." She closed her eyes tightly, running a hand through her hair in distress. "I think we're losing him, Xander. I'm just afraid that we'll never get him back." She stood up then and smooth the apron that she wore around her waist. "Well now, you just forget about all of this. It's not your problem to have to deal with, okay? You just go upstairs and do your homework or watch television or something, sweetie," she said, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the forehead. "Go on, now scoot!" she told him. Xander stood slowly and walked out of the kitchen, then trudged up the stairs to go to his room. On his way down the hall, he stopped and took a peek in Angel's room. His brother just laid there with his back to the door, curled up in a ball on his bed. He still wore the clothes that he had worn last night. Not wanting to wake him if he was actually asleep, Xander stepped away and shut the door quietly behind him and then went to his own room. He shut the door behind him and flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He felt horrible about what he had done, which was weird to him because he never imagined that he would feel badly about *anything* that happened to his brother. Now, however, he saw that what he had done wasn't just affecting Angel...it was affecting his whole family and Buffy, too, only not in the way he had hoped. Instead of running back into his arms, she had been driven into the arms of a guy she didn't even really know who was capable of God knows what. He sat up and walked over to the mirror hanging on the back of his door. Looking at his reflection, he realized that he didn't even know the person staring back at him. He wasn't the same person anymore. Ever since he had lost Buffy, he had become jealous, conniving, and coldhearted, using his love for her as a justification for his behavior. Before all of this had began, he might have been unpopular and awkward, but at least he could be proud of the person he was on the inside...an honest, sensitive, thoughtful person who always considered other people's feelings. Now, he had taken on many of the qualities that he had detested so much in his brother...he had become a selfish, lowlife liar who would step on anyone to get what he wanted. He realized quickly that he had to do something to make things right again...not for his brother's sake, but for *his* sake and the sake of his family. For the sake of Buffy. Unable to look at himself any longer, he walked back over to his bed and sat down on the edge. He felt like crying when he thought about all of the terrible things he had done, and for what? He was never going to have Buffy back, he knew it now. Hell, in the back of his mind he had always known but refused to admit it, even to himself. He knew that she would never love him, that she *had* never loved him. As much as it pained him to admit, they just weren't meant for each other. When he thought about what he had put her through...what he had put his brother through... Xander groaned loudly, burying his head in his hands. He had wanted to cause his brother pain, to teach him a lesson, but he never wanted to completely ruin his life. He realized now that losing Buffy was one thing, a terrible thing in himself, but that this thing that he had helped put into motion was not just about breaking up Buffy and Angel. There were other consequences as well, consequences that Angel would have to pay for the rest of his life...that he didn't *deserve* to pay for. He couldn't just let his brother support a baby that wasn't his. He made up his mind then and there that tomorrow, when Darla came to pick Angel up, he was going to confront her. He was going to tell Angel the truth. ******************************************************* Xander thought that morning would never come. All night, he had lain awake, staring at the glowing red numbers of his digital clock. He developed at least a dozen different scenarios of how everything would go when he confronted Darla, and none of them were good. Still, it was time for him to be a man and accept responsibility for what he had done. It was time that the truth came out. When the doorbell rang at ten thirty the next morning, Xander was showered, dressed, and sitting on the couch waiting for her. Thankfully, Angel was still upstairs getting ready. Xander didn't blame his brother for dragging his feet...he didn't want to have to face Darla either. Yelling upstairs to Angel that he would get the door, Xander stood, took a deep breath, and walked over to answer the door. When he opened it, he found Darla on the other side. Glancing over her outfit, he wasn't surprised to see that her pregnancy hadn't stopped her from dressing like a whore. Sighing, he opened the door wider and stepped back, letting her walk in before he shut the door behind her. "Where's Angel?" she asked abruptly, not even bothering with a hello. "If he doesn't get his ass down here, we are going to be late." "Angel's upstairs getting ready," Xander informed her. "And it's not going to hurt you to wait. There is something we need to talk about anyway." Darla narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't talk to me that way, you little shit, and there is *nothing* we need to talk about." "Sit. Down," he said through gritted teeth. "Now." Darla sat down on the sofa, not liking it one little bit that Xander Harris thought he could order her around. What made the loser think he could talk to her like that? If it wasn't for the fact that he was involved with the plan, she let loose on him and show him who the *real* boss was. "What do you want, Xander?" Darla asked in a bored tone. "How much longer are you going to carry on this charade?" Xander asked her bluntly. "You got what you wanted, didn't you? Buffy and Angel broke up." "What I *want* is to have Angel back, and that hasn't happened yet," Darla told him. "So, no, I'm not through if that is what you are asking. In fact, I don't intend to ever tell Angel the truth. As long as he believes that this is his baby, he can't shut me out of his life, and one day I'll wear him down and he'll be mine. Any other questions?" "Darla, you can't be serious about this," Xander said, although he knew perfectly well that she was *dead* serious. "Manipulating people into being with you doesn't work, at least not for long." "Aww, what's wrong, Xander? Things not going well for you and the little bimbo?" "She is *not* a bimbo, and if you must know, she is with someone else now," Xander told her. "And that's why I know for a fact that you can't manipulate people into loving you." "Silly boy, he doesn't have to *love* me," Darla informed him with a wicked laugh. "Love has never had anything to do with my relationship with Angel. Just because you failed doesn't mean that I will, too. You are just incompetent, Xander. Sit back and watch how a professional works." "I'm not going to let you do this to him anymore," Xander told her fiercely. "I'm not going to let you ruin his life. It's not right, Darla." "Don't you try to go all moral and righteous on me now, Xander," Darla hissed at him angrily. "You played just as much of a part in this as I did, so don't you threaten me or act like you are having an attack of the conscious." "Look, I know what I did was wrong, but what you are doing is worse," Xander told her. "I'm not letting my brother take responsibility for a child who isn't his." "And what do you think your dear brother is going to do to you when he finds out you helped set him up?" Darla asked. Her eyes widened and she began to laugh wickedly as she realized his intentions. "You weren't planning on telling him that you were involved, were you? What makes you think that I won't tell him myself, hmm? If I'm going down, Xander, then you are, too, and I'm not going to stop with telling Angel. I'll be sure to send a memo to your little princess, Buffy, while I'm at it. I'm sure that she'll just *love* you then." "She won't believe you," Xander said weakly. "Do you really want to take that chance?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "Because let me tell you something, Xander, we both know that she's refused to believe you before. If she finds out that you helped me break her and Angel up, she's going to *hate* you. You won't get to be in her life at all. Is that a chance you are willing to take?" When Xander said nothing, only lowered his eyes and stared at the floor, she knew she had won. "I thought not," she said gleefully, a cold smile decorating her pretty features. Just then, they heard the sound of footsteps thundering down the stairs, and Angel appeared in the living room. "Sorry I'm running late," he said flatly, helping Darla to her feet. "Are you ready?" Darla nodded her head. "Then let's go." As Angel headed for the door, Darla hesitated just a moment, just long enough to give Xander one final warning glare before following Angel out the door. Xander just sat there, knowing that he had been defeated and hating himself for being so weak. Chapter 13 Angel didn't say a word as he walked to Darla's car and waited for her to unlock the doors. He just stood there with his head down, his spirit crushed as if Darla had stepped on it with her high-heeled shoes. Yesterday had been one of the lowest times of his life...not *the* lowest, but it still ranked pretty low. He had slept almost all day long, and when he wasn't sleeping, he was crying his eyes out over Buffy. He hadn't remembered much about the previous night, but a few things had stuck in his mind and he remembered them quite vividly...Buffy's cold words to him, her spiteful display on the dance floor, Xander telling him that she had left with some other guy. He had known the day that Darla told him she was pregnant that he had lost her, but last night had only solidified it in his mind. Buffy had moved on and it was obvious to him that she hadn't loved him as much as he had loved her. He wished that he could get over her as easily as she had gotten over him, but as the days passed, the ache in his heart didn't fade...it only grew stronger. He climbed into the car when he heard the locks click and took his seat in the passenger's side seat, reaching up automatically and buckling his seatbelt. He tried not to look at Darla, but rather focused his attention on staring out the window. He might have to be there with her, but he didn't have make chitchat with her. Unfortunately, Darla was not one who liked to be ignored. "Well, you're not going to just sit there and ignore me the whole way there, are you?" she asked grumpily. When he didn't respond, she pressed her lips tightly together and concentrated on the road. "You know, Angel, I know you didn't ask for this. Neither did I, but surely we can make the best of it, right? We are going to be part of each other's lives for at least the next eighteen plus years, so can't we at least be on civil terms?" She saw him look at her out of the corner of her eye and turned to him, giving him a small, hopeful smile. Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. All of a sudden, Queen of the bitches wanted to be civil? He shook his head in disbelief, running his hands through his thick, dark hair. He would never understand women. As Darla watched the emotions play across his face, she smiled to herself. You'll attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, she thought to herself. Huh, guess they were on to something there because it sure seemed to be working on Angel. Finally, Angel seemed to come to a decision. "Okay, Darla, here's the deal. If we can be civil to each other, that's great, but please understand that I do *not* want to be back in your life. I don't want you back in *my* life. If we could just co-exist peacefully, then I think we would be doing well." Well, not what she had been hoping for but... "Deal," Darla said with a plastic smile. She stuck out her hand for a handshake to seal the deal, and Angel took it and gave it a firm shake. Darla made sure to hold on for just a moment longer than necessary, her eyes locking onto his for a split second before she let go and turned her attention back to driving. "So...what exactly is the doctor going to do today?" Angel asked hesitantly. "Well, he said something about doing a sonogram maybe," Darla told him. "It may still be too early, but he mentioned it the last time I went." "You've been to the doctor before? I mean, other than to get the pregnancy test?" he asked. "Yeah, of course," Darla said. "I mean, I have to take care of the baby, you know? I've gone a couple of times actually. I'm kind of excited about today in particular though, because we might get to see the baby." "How have you been paying for all of this?" he wanted to know. "I mean, the trips to the doctor and everything must be expensive." "It is," she agreed. "I actually got a job to help pay for it all. I mean, my insurance is kind of crappy, so I have to make up for what it doesn't pay." "Oh," Angel said quietly. He stared down at his lap, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt for a while before blurting, "I want to help you pay for it." "What?" Darla asked, feigning surprise. "The baby. The doctor bills. I want to help you pay for them," he repeated. "It's only right. You shouldn't be expected to have to pay for it all by yourself. Do...do you parents know?" Darla shook her head, her blonde hair shimmering in the sunlight. "No, not yet. I didn't have the nerve to tell them." "You? Not having the nerve to do something?" he said lightly. "Now *that* is hard to believe." She narrowed her eyes at him playfully, enjoying the banter that was beginning between them. "Angelus Harris, what are you trying to say?" she asked in an accusing tone. "All I'm saying is that you have more nerve than anybody else I've ever met in my life," he said, holding his hands up defensively. "You've always been that way, as long as I have known you. When you want something, you don't stop until you get it, no matter what." "That's true," she said in a soft voice, glancing at him quickly. "I know what I want, and I take it." She studied his profile carefully, letting her eyes wander over his handsome features. Out of all the men she had slept with in the past, and that was quite a few, Angel was the only one that had ever gotten under her skin. She craved him like an alcoholic craved a bottle of whiskey, like an addict craved their next fix. Angel was the one man she had always wanted but never truly had. Their connection had never gone beyond physical, and normally that was okay with Darla, but she wanted more from Angel. She wanted him to be *hers* and her alone. Pulling into a parking space at the doctor's office and shutting off the engine, Darla looked at him expectantly. "Well, this is it," she told him. "We're here." They opened their car doors and climbed out, making their way towards the building. At the entrance, Angel held the door open for Darla in a gentlemanly manner that she wasn't used to. Smiling at him gratefully and thinking to herself how wonderfully her plan was going, she stepped inside and took him by the hand, leading the way to the doctor's office. When they got there, Darla went to sign in and then sat down beside Angel in the waiting area. She felt Angel stiffen and shift around in his seat uncomfortably at their close proximity, much the same way he had when she had taken his hand earlier. It was fortunate for both of them that they didn't have to wait very long before being called back because the silence that hung between them was positively stifling. After the nurse had led them down the hall to the examination room and done all of the routine things such as taking Darla's blood pressure and temperature, she turned to exit the room. "Now don't forget to put on that gown, Ms. Jenkins," the nurse called as she stepped out of the room and shut the door behind her. Angel looked at Darla uncomfortably. "I'll just, uh, step outside while you change," he said, his hand on the doorknob. "Angel!" she called out from her seat on the examination table. He turned quickly, looking at her expectantly. "Stay," she said softly. "I don't have anything you haven't seen before," she reminded him. "That's not the point, Darla," he said coolly. "Well, you can turn your back or something," she insisted. "Just please don't leave me alone here. Hospitals give me the creeps." Okay, so she was lying through her teeth. So what? She was sure that if he caught even one glance at her naked, she would be one step closer to having him back in her bed. "Well...okay," he relented, turning his back towards her. "If it will make you feel better." "It will," she assured him, a sly smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Pulling her shirt over her head, she turned away from him, standing at an angle so that he would be able to catch only a hint of her breasts. "You can turn around now," she called, waiting until she saw movement before pulling on her gown. Turning around, she could see that her plan had caused the desired reaction. Angel turned around to see that Darla was just pulling on her gown. He quickly averted his eyes, but not before he had caught a glimpse of the swell of the side of her breast. Blushing furiously, he began to stammer out an apology. "I-I'm sorry, I thought that you had put your gown on," he began. Darla smiled at him in amusement. "Don't worry about it, Angel. You couldn't have seen much. Will you help me tie the strings in the back?" She turned her back to him again and waited expectantly for his help. Feeling the brush of his fingers against her skin sent a shiver up her spine and caused a sudden dampness to develop between her legs. She wanted nothing more than to throw him back on the examination table and ride him like a stallion. Instead, she simply turned around and smiled coyly at him, thanking him politely for his assistance. Hopping back up onto the examination table, she quickly pulled a blanket over her lap and stripped away the clothes on her lower half, handing them to Angel to set aside. About that time, the door opened and the doctor walked in to begin the examination. Angel stayed in the room the whole time at Darla's request but spent a good deal of time staring at the wall, the ceiling, the floor, and anywhere and everywhere else to keep from having to watch Darla's examination. Finally, after the major part of the examination was over, the doctor called Angel over to Darla's bedside. "Would you two like to see your baby for the first time?" he asked with a smile. Darla looked at Angel questioningly. "Well, I would. Angel?" "Sure," he said, surprised by the small flutter of excitement in his stomach. Even though he hadn't planned for the baby or even really *wanted* the baby at first, he still couldn't help but be excited at the thought of seeing the child that he helped to create. After all, it wasn't the baby's fault that his or her mother was such a manipulative bitch, and just because Angel didn't love the child's mother didn't mean that he didn't love the child. The two of them waited patiently as the doctor prepared for the sonogram, and when they saw the baby on the screen, Angel felt his heart skip a beat. That was *his* baby in there, his little baby boy or girl. Suddenly, he was filled with an unfamiliar sense of fatherly pride as he stared at the little mass of cells on the screen, and it all hit him for the first time...he was going to be a father. He had been so focused these last few days on what he had lost that he hadn't even taken the time to consider what he had gained. He was going to be a father, and that was something that no one could take away from him. ******************************************************* Angel was still floating on Cloud Nine on the way home from the doctor. He just couldn't believe all of the emotions that he was experiencing all at once. Suddenly, there was a glimmer of light in the dark, gloomy storm that his life had become. He was going to be a father. He rolled the thought around in his head over and over, trying to get used to the idea. It was just unreal. Darla glanced over at him and smiled. He had been sitting there forever in silence, but it wasn't a bad silence, or even an unhappy silence. It was obvious to her that seeing the baby had a profound affect on him, which pleased her very much. With a little work, she could turn the bond that Angel felt with the baby into a bond with her as well. "It was incredible, wasn't it?" she said with a smile, breaking into his thoughts. "Yeah, it really was," Angel said, returning her smile with a real smile of his own for the first time all day. "I just can't believe that we are going to have a baby, that we made this new little life. It's just kind of overwhelming, you know? But in a good way." "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," she said softly, pulling into his driveway and shifting the car into park. "So here we are." "Yep. Well, see you later," he said, reaching for his door handle. "Um, Angel?" Darla said softly, placing a hand on his arm. "Yeah?" "Could I use your bathroom, please? I swear, ever since I've gotten pregnant, I feel like I have a bladder the size of a chickpea." "Sure, come on in," he said easily, secretly wishing she would leave. True, the day hadn't gone as horribly as he had thought it would, but it was still Darla. "Are you parents home? Because I wouldn't be comfortable having to face them..." she said demurely. "No, they are both still at work. In fact, Xander hasn't even made it home from school yet. Don't worry, you'll be gone before anyone gets home," he said firmly. "Terrific," she said, opening her door and climbing out. She waited for Angel to unlock the front door and point out the bathroom before she scurried down the hall. She shut the bathroom door behind her and lowered the lid of the toilet, taking a seat and collecting her thoughts. She had to play things just right or she would completely blow this. Stay cool, Darla, she told herself. Don't be too aggressive. Waiting for a few moments, she flushed the toilet and ran water in the sink, then opened the door and walked out into the living room. Angel was nowhere to be seen downstairs, but she saw a light on upstairs and figured that he had gone up to his bedroom. Perfect, she thought to herself with a smile. He was almost making this too easy. Quietly, she climbed up the stairs and walked down the hallway, coming to a stop just outside his bedroom door. Angel was laying on his bed with his arms folded under his head, staring up at the ceiling. Sensing that he was not alone, he looked over and saw Darla standing in his doorway. "Darla," he said anxiously, sitting up quickly. "I thought you would see yourself out." "I will," she assured him, taking a step inside the room. "I just wanted to say goodbye first." She walked slowly over to his bed and sat down on the edge beside him, taking his hand in hers. "You know, Angel, I want you to know how much it meant to me that you went with me today, and that you offered to help me pay the doctor's bills too. That's very sweet of you." "Uh, well, you know, no problem," he said uneasily. He was treading on dangerous terrain and he knew it. "Um, listen, Darla, I really think you should lea-" "It's just that sometimes I feel so alone, you know?" she interrupted him, whipped up tears filling her eyes. "I know what people must think of me, that everyone thinks that I'm a whore. I didn't mean for this to happen, Angel. I didn't mean to ruin your life." "Uh, it's o-okay," he stammered, not quite sure what to do with the weeping woman sitting beside him. Gingerly, he wrapped his arms around her, patting her awkwardly on the back. "I know that this can't be easy on you either." "Can you ever forgive me?" she asked, looking up at him, her face mere inches from his. "It's not like you meant for this to happen," he said uneasily, feeling uncomfortable at their closeness. "Oh, Angel, you are the sweetest guy in the world," she said, leaning forward and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. She pulled back just a little so that she was looking into his eyes and then, after a beat, leaned in again, this time kissing him lightly on the lips. Angel just sat there, unable to move. He knew that he should push her away, tell her to get out right now before things went any further, but he couldn't get the words out. Some tiny little voice in his head was telling him that Buffy had moved on and that he should, too, and that Darla was obviously willing to help him along with the process. But could he do it? Could he push his feelings for Buffy aside and lose himself in Darla, let himself take comfort in her arms? All of these thoughts were rushing through his mind as he sat there numbly, almost unaware of the kisses that Darla was raining down his jaw line and neck. Her hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, pulling it open and sliding it down his arms when she had finally unbuttoned everyone. She pulled her own shirt over her head and took one of his hands, placing it on her breast and squeezing her hand over his encouragingly, moaning softly. He wasn't responding, but he wasn't pulling away either, so she decided to take things further. Angel finally snapped out of his haze when he felt her trying to push him back onto the bed, one of her hands working on unbuckling his belt. "Darla, stop," he said quietly, but she persistently continued to work on getting into his pants. "Goddam it, Darla, get the fuck off of me," he said angrily, pushing her away from him. "We can't do this." "Why not?" she asked. "Is it because of *her*? She's not coming back to you, Angel. You could fuck a million girls for all she cares. She doesn't want you anymore." "Maybe she doesn't," he said in a shaky voice," but I still care about her, and I'm not doing this. Get your clothes and get out." "But-" "Darla, don't make me call the police. Just get out, okay? I told you already, I don't want you in my life. I'm not going to fuck you just because I can. I'm not that person anymore." "She made you weak," Darla spat at him. "You're not even a man anymore." "You're wrong," he told her, looking her straight in the eye. "For the first time in my life, I *am* a man. Now, I'm not going to tell you again...get out." Narrowing her eyes at him angrily, Darla snatched up her shirt and pulled it on, turning on her heel and stomping out of the room and down the stairs. She didn't stop until she was out the door, which she shut with a loud slam that echoed through the whole house. He couldn't believe what an idiot he had been! He was stupid to have even let her come into his house. Two good things had come out of it all, however. He had finally stood up and acted like a man, and now he knew that there would never be anyone for him but Buffy. She might not ever take him back, but he wasn't just going to lie down and not even try. He was going to give it his all to win her heart back. Chapter 14 The first thing that Angel decided that he needed to do was get Darla out of his life once and for all. He was sure that there was some way to arrange things in court that would allow visitation or even partial custody of the child under the supervision of a social worker or something, enabling him to still see his child without ever having to see Darla. That was his goal, anyway. Darla was like a poison...once she got in your system or in your life, you were royally screwed, but Angel planned on remedying that the best he could. Then, and only then, could he begin to try to win Buffy back. Angel had every intention of just calling Darla on the telephone and telling her to stay away from him, figuring if he didn't have to be around her in person, he would be much better off. He had been sitting on his bed for hours since he had kicked her out, thinking about the best course of action and that is what he had come up with thus far. However, as he sat there pondering his situation and forming a game plan, something lying on the floor caught his eye. Walking over and bending to pick it up, he saw that it was Darla's wallet. She must have dropped it in her hurry to get out of here, he thought to himself. Sighing heavily, he knew he was going to have to take it back to her because he sure as hell didn't want her coming to his house. No, he would take it to her and tell her face-to-face to stay away from him. That was the more mature, manly thing to do anyway, but he would wait until tomorrow. He was so tired from the events of the day, and she could really wait until tomorrow to get her wallet back anyway. That decided, he went downstairs where he could smell dinner being prepared by his mother and decided to watch some television to take his mind off things. It was time he joined the world of the living again. ******************************************************* The next day, Angel climbed out of bed, got showered and dressed, and prepared to face Darla. He decided that it would be best not to call her and let her know he was coming because otherwise, he might find himself walking into who knew what. She was very devious, always had been, and he knew there was no telling what she would try. Coming downstairs to grab a little breakfast, Angel whistled a merry tune. Today was the first day of the rest of his life...he going to start over and attempt to fix all of the things that he had screwed up these last few months. His mother gave him a surprised smile when she saw the good mood that her usually broody son was in, setting down a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast before him. "Well someone sure is in a good mood," she commented, grabbing her cup of coffee off of the counter and sitting down across from him. "What gives?" "Mom, do you believe that there is one person, and only one person out there for everybody?" Angel asked her seriously. "You know what? Call me an old romantic, but I do," his mother said. "From the moment I met your father, something clicked between us and I *knew* that he was the one. Why do you ask?" "It's just that...I have made some mistakes in my life, done things that I'm not proud of," Angel began. "Until we moved here, I didn't even really think about love. It was more about having a beautiful girl on my arm than having real feelings towards someone, but then I met Buffy and everything changed. *She's* the *one*, Mom. Unfortunately, I screwed things between us up pretty royally," he said sadly. "You mean with the pregnancy," his mom said bluntly. "Not just with the pregnancy, but yeah, I guess it's fair to say that it played a major part in things," he admitted. "It wasn't just that, though. I lied to her and manipulated her, just so that I could have her. I even took her away from Xander," he said shamefully. His mother smiled softly and took his hand in hers. "Let me tell you something, son," she said with a hint of a smile. "You didn't take her away from anyone. I like Buffy a lot, don't get me wrong, but I could tell from the beginning that her heart didn't belong to Xander. In a way, I hated it because I knew how Xander felt about her and knew that he was going to get hurt, but what can you do? He wouldn't have listened to me even if I had tried to talk to him about it, so I just left it alone." "Well, that makes me feel a little better, I guess," Angel said with a sigh. "Lately I have felt like the world's worst brother." "Oh honey, don't be ridiculous. Siblings fight all of the time," his mother said with a chuckle. "Ever wonder where the term 'sibling rivalry' came from? It's perfectly normal," she assured him. "But now let's talk about you and Buffy. You say that she's the one, huh?" "Yeah, I just know it," Angel confided in her. "It's like what you were talking about with Dad. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew that there was something special. I can't believe I screwed things up so badly." "So what are you going to do about it?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "I'm gonna try to win her back," Angel said firmly. "I'm going to take responsibility for my actions, get my life together, and show her that I can be the man she wants me to be. Oh, and I plan on groveling a *lot*." "Groveling is good," his mother said with a smile. "You might also want to consider kissing her feet." "Believe me, that hasn't been ruled out," Angel said, returning his mother's smile. "Angelus, sweetie, I know you think your father and I are old and out of touch, but we were young once, too," she told him. "We've both done a lot of living and learned a lot of things the hard way, but let me tell you something that I have always found to be true. If it is meant to be, son, it will be. If Buffy is the right girl, if she is the one, she will forgive you. Trust me on this one...your father did some pretty stupid things in the past himself," she said with a smile. "Thanks, Mom," Angel said, leaning over and giving her a kiss and carrying his plate over to the sink. "Listen, I'm gonna be gone for a little while, okay? I have to return Darla's wallet to her and tell her to stay out of my life." "Angelus, be careful," his mother said worriedly. "That girl is nothing but trouble, always has been." "I know, Mom, that's why I have to do this," he said. "I'm going to make it clear that she is not welcome in my life. Just because we are going to share a child-" "That's something else I wanted to talk to you about," his mother said, cutting him off. Standing up from her seat and walking over to him, she touched his cheek gently, in a motherly fashion. "No matter what has happened, no matter what mistakes have been made, we love you, Angelus, and we are very proud of you." "Mom, I...thanks," he said with a smile, turning away so that she couldn't see the tears in his eyes. "I'll be back soon," he promised her, grabbing his car keys and heading out the door. ******************************************************* The whole way to Darla's house, which was actually a considerable distance, Angel couldn't help but think that despite the bad luck he had been having lately, he really was a very lucky person. He had a loving family...well, except for Xander...and he had met his soul mate. Most people searched for a lifetime to find that one special person, and he had found her at the age of twenty-two. Now he just had to get her back. It seemed impossible, but his mother's words echoed in his head, filling his heart with hope. If it's meant to be, if she is the one, it will all work out. If there was one thing that Angel was absolutely sure about, it was that Buffy was the one. Turning on the radio to pass the time, he sang along to the songs merrily, the romantic ones reminding him of Buffy and bringing a smile to his face. As he pulled into Darla's driveway, he saw her car there and another one that looked vaguely familiar, though he couldn't quite place it. Grabbing her wallet from the passenger's seat and opening his car door, he climbed out with of the car with a grimace on his face. He hadn't really wanted an audience for this, but he still had to do what he came here to do. Marching up the driveway with a purpose, he raised his hand to knock on the door, but just before his knuckles connected with wood, he heard shouting coming from inside. Furrowing his brow in concern, fearing that his child might be in some kind of danger, he tried the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. Pushing open the door quietly, he crept into the house and down the hall toward the living room, where the shouting was coming from. Peering into the room, he saw Darla sitting on the couch while Lindsey McDonald, his old high school rival, was pacing around anxiously, a furious look on his face. Angel narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Now he knew why the other car in the driveway looked so familiar...it belonged to Lindsey. Positioning himself so that he could see into the room but was still hidden in the shadows, Angel crouched down low, watching and listening to the scene playing out before him. "I don't know what your problem is, Lindsey," Darla said irritably. "It's not like *you're* having to pay for the brat. *You're* not having to take responsibility here, so what the fuck are you getting so worked up over?" "You know how I feel about that son of a bitch," Lindsey growled furiously. "And I'm sure you throw yourself at him every chance you get." "Look, you knew the deal," Darla yelled, losing her patience. "I didn't promise you that I would be faithful to you. In fact, I remember quite clearly saying that this wasn't a relationship...it's a business deal. That means I don't owe you anything. I didn't guarantee you anything but revenge." "What if I've changed my mind?" Lindsey asked, running his hand through his dark hair in frustration. "What? All of a sudden, you *don't* want to get revenge on Angel?" Darla asked in disbelief. "After the way he showed you up in high school? Everything you did in high school went unnoticed because Angelus Harris could do it better, and you are telling me now that you don't want to see him suffer?" "It's not about Angelus," Lindsey snapped. "Really? Then what is it about, Lindsey, because I'm obviously not following you here," Darla said dully. "It's about the baby," Lindsey yelled. "Why can't you see that? I could care less about Angelus, or even you, but the baby..." "Is not your concern," Darla said coldly. "As far as you and everyone else is concerned, this is Angel's baby," she said, patting her stomach. Angel felt his breath catch in his throat. The baby...wasn't his? Could it be true? He knew that Darla was a complete bitch, one hundred percent heartless, but could she be capable of something like this? Lying to him about the baby being his? Suddenly, he felt very dizzy as the implications of the thought hit him. If he wasn't the father then he would be off the hook completely, which should have made him happy, but part of him was crushed by the thought. After seeing the child on the sonogram yesterday, he had let himself begin to get used to the idea that he was going to be a father, and it had made him...happy. Anger began to well up in him, and his fists clenched at his sides. That bitch... "Coming here was a mistake," Lindsey said, almost as if he was talking to himself. "I'm glad you see that," Darla said unsympathetically. "I'm not letting you fuck this up for me, Lindsey. We are both getting something out of this, so don't pretend like I used and abused you. You knew what you were getting into from the beginning. It's too late to start caring now." "And if I decide that I don't want to be part of this, then what?" Lindsey asked bluntly. "You'll keep your mouth shut and go along with this if you know what's good for you," Darla said in a warning tone. Angel had heard enough. If he stood there much longer, he didn't know if he was going to be able to stop himself from bursting in there and demanding some answers. The best thing to do was to just leave now and wait for the confrontation later, he decided. Quietly and carefully, he crept back down the hall and out the door, waiting until he was safely out of the house and in his car before he dared to even breath. His mind was reeling from the conversation he had just heard. Could it be true? Had Darla lied to him about being the baby's father? Well, there was only one way to find out and that was to confront her, make her admit to it, because he couldn't just go on speculation alone. The part of the conversation between Darla and Lindsey that he had heard suggested a lot, but it wasn't solid enough. Backing out of her driveway, he pulled into a parking lot of an apartment complex right down the street, where he could sit and watch, biding his time until Lindsey left and he had Darla to himself. Without anyone there to back up her lies, he could squeeze the truth out of her easier. Opening the glove compartment of his car, he pulled out a small tape recorder that he often took to class with him. If his suspicions were true, he was going to get a confession out of her, and this little tape recorder was going to ensure that she couldn't go back and change her story later, or even deny that the conversation happened. It was going to help him turn his life around. He smiled to himself as he hit the rewind button, getting the tape ready to record, feeling as if fate was finally smiling down on him. He knew that if he found out the baby wasn't his, he would be a little saddened, but it would be the best thing in the long run. He and Darla were like oil and water, not a good set of parents for a baby. Besides, he wanted the mother of his children to be Buffy. Angel waited for another hour or so before he finally saw Lindsey walking down the driveway and getting into his car. Angel drew in a deep breath to calm himself, trying to prepare for the confrontation that loomed ahead of him. He could do this...he *had* to do this. He couldn't let Darla get away with this. He waited until Lindsey had backed out of the driveway before starting his car up and maneuvering out of the parking lot and down the street, pulling into Darla's driveway. He reached over and grabbed the recorder, slipping it into the pocket of his jacket. This was it...the next few minutes were going to determine his fate. Saying a quick prayer, he climbed out of his car and walked up the driveway, ringing the doorbell. When Darla opened the door, the look on her face was one of surprise and perhaps a trace of fear, and it made Angel want to laugh with glee. It was obvious that she wasn't sure whether or not he had seen Lindsey pull away from her house. "Angel, what are you doing here?" she asked in a neutral tone. "I came to return your wallet," he said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve the wallet, taking the opportunity to press the record button on the tape recorder. Pulling out the wallet, he handed it to her calmly. Relief flashed across Darla's face for split second before being replaced by a bright smile. "Oh, thanks. I was wondering what happened to it," she told him. "Yeah, I found it on the floor of my bedroom," he told her. Deciding to cut to the chase, he took on a more somber tone. "Darla, we need to talk. Can I come in?" Chapter 15 When Darla opened the door, the look on her face was one of surprise and perhaps a trace of fear, and it made Angel want to laugh with glee. It was obvious that she wasn't sure whether or not he had seen Lindsey pull away from her house. "Angel, what are you doing here?" she asked in a neutral tone. "I came to return your wallet," he said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve the wallet, taking the opportunity to press the record button on the tape recorder. Pulling out the wallet, he handed it to her calmly. Relief flashed across Darla's face for split second before being replaced by a bright smile. "Oh, thanks. I was wondering what happened to it," she told him. "Yeah, I found it on the floor of my bedroom," he told her. Deciding to cut to the chase, he took on a more somber tone. "Darla, we need to talk. Can I come in?" "T-talk? About what?" Darla asked nervously, not moving a muscle to let him through the door. "If this is about yesterday..." she began. "It's not," Angel told her firmly. "I just want to talk about the baby...and about us." He knew that would get her. There were many words that he could think of to describe Darla, all of them negative, but the one he was relying on was easy. He knew that if she thought that he was coming back to her, she would let him in without a second thought. "Us?" she said, perking up considerably. A wide smile spread across her lips as she stepped back and opened the door wider. "Sure! Come on in," she said cheerfully, her whole demeanor shifting at the mention of 'them'. Inside her head, she did a little victory cheer for herself. She knew that he would come around eventually, and she guessed that her forwardness yesterday in his bedroom had been the final push he had needed to give in to her. Angel stepped inside, rolling his eyes at her stupidity. He could tell by the look on her face that she thought she had won. Stupid whore. Hold on to your seat, baby, he thought to himself with a smirk, 'cause have I got a surprise for you! "Don't mind the house," she said, leading him into the living room. "It's kind of a mess, and I was really going to clean it, but I've just been so tired lately. I guess that's what pregnancy does to you, you know? I do the best I can by myself, though," she said, pouting out her lower lip. "It must be hard," Angel said with feigned compassion, deciding to play along for a little while. "Oh it is, but I manage," she said, trying to sound brave. "All I can do is sit around here all day long by myself. The doctor told me I had to quit my job when I found out I was pregnant, so I don't have any money coming in either. That's why I'm so glad that I have you, Angel. I was so happy when you offered to help me out with the doctor bills and all yesterday that I could have just cried. Of course, it helps that I live here with my parents, but they are never home to help me with things like keeping the house clean, and once they find out I'm pregnant, I'm sure I'll be out on the street. Even if they *don't* kick me out, they aren't going to help support the baby. That's why it's a real relief knowing that once the baby comes, we are going to be taken care of. I can stay home and take care of the baby and raise it right." Anger boiled up inside Angel as he listened to her go on and on. That bitch! She was perfectly willing to let him quit school and work the rest of his life to support a baby that wasn't even his while she sat around all day on her ass doing nothing. Oh, he was going to take so much pleasure in lowering the boom on her. Let Lindsey take care the kid, Angel thought to himself. The bitch isn't pinning this on me anymore. "Well, you know that I will do anything I can to help with the baby," Angel began. "In fact, I'm going to drop out of school after this semester so that I can get a job." He paused, waiting for some kind of reaction to his statement, but she just sat there looking at him. Even more pissed off that she didn't seem to give a damn that he was going to be throwing his life away, at least as far as she knew, he continued on. "I'll give you all of the support I can financially. There is just one small matter that needs to be taken care of first, though, but I'm sure it won't be a problem." "Oh?" Darla asked curiously. "What's that?" "Well, my lawyer told me that he could draw up a contract for us both to sign that would guarantee that I would pay child support, for your peace of mind of course, but first you are going to have to let the doctors do a paternity test, just to make it official that I am of the father," he explained. "What? No!" Darla practically yelled. Regaining control of herself, she cleared her throat and continued. "What I mean it, that is ridiculous. I don't need a stupid contract to reassure me that you are going to keep your promise. I trust you, Angel." "I know, and I appreciate that," Angel told her, "but my lawyer says that this is something that really has to be done. That's not a problem, is it?" "It's not a *problem*, Angel," Darla said, anger tinting her voice. "I have nothing to hide, but I really don't think that this is necessary, and to be honest, I am kind of insulted that you would come here and suggest that." "Why?" Angel asked, feigning bewilderment. "I'm not an idiot, you know. It's obvious to me that your lawyer doesn't trust me, that he thinks I'm lying, and I don't appreciate it. *You* are the father of my baby, and I don't need to take some paternity test to prove it." "Darla, look, I don't see the problem," Angel said, giving her more rope to hang herself with. "You don't have anything to hide, so what's the big deal?" "I'm not doing it, Angel," she snapped. "You can just forget about it. I don't appreciate being called a liar." "So do you prefer the term fibber? Or maybe you like fraud, imposter, or phony better," Angel said coolly. Darla stared at him with a startled look on her face. "What?" she asked in confusion. "Oh, Darla, let's stop playing games, shall we? Why don't you just admit that the real reason you don't want to have to go through a paternity test is that the baby isn't mine?" Angel said calmly. "I can't believe you!" Darla raged, jumping to her feet. "You come in here and pretend to be all sweet and caring and then you do this? You just can't accept responsibility for your actions, can you, Angel? Now you are just making things up, looking for excuses so that you don't have to take care of the baby. I can't believe that you would come in here and insult me like this by trying to suggest that someone else is the father." "Oh get off of it, Darla," Angel hissed, narrowing his eyes at her. "I know that I'm not the father, so just admit it." "You *are* the father!" she yelled. "Then prove it," he demanded. "I'm *not* letting you bullying me into letting them do a fucking paternity test, Angel. You can just forget it. If that is what you came here for, you can just leave," she snarled. "Darla, you are going to let them do a paternity test, one way or another," Angel said in a warning tone, standing up from his seat on the couch and towering over her in an intimidating manner. "If you don't do it voluntarily, then I'll just have to take this thing to court. Just wait until the reporters hear about it...I can see the headlines now. Is that what you want? Do you want your and your family's name smeared all across the papers, 'cause that is what's going to happen. Just tell me the truth, godamn it!" he roared. "You want the truth? You want the fucking truth?" she screamed at him. "Fine, I'll tell you. You're right, okay? The baby's not yours. Are you fucking happy now?" "Well, I have to admit that things are beginning to look up," Angel said lightly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "But I wanna know why? Why would you do this to me, Darla? How can you be so cruel and heartless?" "You wanna know why I did it?" she asked, tears streaming down her face. "I did it because I wanted you back, and I knew that with that little blonde bitch in your life, you would never give me a second look. I wanted to get her out of the way." "So you went and got yourself pregnant?" Angel asked incredulously. "That's insane!" "Oh don't flatter yourself," she said bitterly. "I didn't go and ruin my life just to get you back. I didn't get pregnant on purpose...it just happened...but it turned out to be a convenient way of breaking you and your little princess up." "Whose baby is it?" Angel asked, even though he already knew. He clenched and unclenched his fists at his side, trying hard to keep his temper at bay. "It's Lindsey McDonald's," she blubbered miserably. "After you kicked me out of your house that day that we were in the pool, I ran into Lindsey. I was really upset and so he offered to buy me a drink. We got to talking about what had happened and about you, and we just kept drinking. Lindsey was just there, and I needed someone to comfort me, and the alcohol made it seem like such a good idea at the time...it just sort of happened. About a month ago, I found out I was pregnant. Lindsey didn't want the baby...hell, *I* didn't want the baby, but we decided to make the best out of a bad situation. We decided to use the baby against you, to tell you that you were the father. It was a good plan, really. Lindsey has always hated you and he's always had a thing for me, so it wasn't hard to convince him. He wouldn't have to take responsibility for the kid, and I would get you back and everyone would be happy. It was a business arrangement, and it was working out just fine until he decided that he didn't like the idea of you and me together. I told him that just because we slept together, just because I was pregnant with his kid didn't mean that I was his girlfriend or something. I thought that was the end of things until he decided that he wanted the baby. I just *knew* he was going to fuck this up for me," she growled irritably. "It sounds to me like *you're* the one that fucked up," Angel told her coldly. "You are just damned lucky that Lindsey wants to take responsibility for the child. At least he has heart enough to care about the baby, unlike you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Darla. You are that baby's mother and you couldn't care less about it." "Oh, spare me the lecture on morals, Angel," Darla said, narrowing her eyes at him. "You aren't really one who has room to be talking, you know? Knowing some of the things that you have done in the past, seeing them firsthand, you make me look like an innocent little schoolgirl. Don't even give me that 'poor me' expression, because you brought this on yourself. If you had control over your dick, you wouldn't have even had to worry about whether or not this kid was yours, but you put yourself in a situation that I could easily manipulate." "So that is your justification for almost ruining my life? Because I put myself in the situation? Because I made one mistake?" Angel exclaimed in disbelief. "My god, Darla, how fucked up in the head *are* you?" "I don't need to justify my actions to you," she said angrily. "Come on, Angel, you helped dig your own grave. If you weren't such an asshole, then I would have never been able to enlist in the help of your little brother to pull my plan off." Angel froze when he heard her last words. "What?" "Oh, thought you had everything figured out, didn't you? Guess you don't know as much as you thought you did. You didn't know that Xander was involved in all of this, did you?" she asked with a wicked smile. "You're lying," Angel accused her in an angry voice. "Xander and I might not get along, but he wouldn't do that to me...he wouldn't!" "Wouldn't he?" Darla asked in a self-satisfied tone. "Well, that's pretty funny considering he was all too anxious to help me when I called him about a week or so ago. He seemed to think it was a great idea, as a matter of fact. I get you, he gets the little blonde airhead...too bad it didn't work out for him," she said, pursing her lips. "Oh well, it's not like I ever really gave a fuck about him. He sure did come in useful, though, faking that apology to you, making sure that you and your little love muffin were there together when I showed up to drop my bombshell. Of course, she was *supposed* to go running into his arms after that, but I hear it didn't really work out that way. Still, all this time I bet he has still been whispering things in her ear, telling her what a horrible person you are. Can't say I disagree," she said smugly. Angel suddenly felt very dizzy and had to sit down. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears as he listened to her words, and everything began to make sense. How could his own brother have done such a thing to him? "Gee, Angel, you don't look so good," she said sweetly, a smirk twisting her pretty features into an ugly mask. "What's wrong? Surprised to hear that your brother hates you that much? Well, things might not have worked out for him or for me, but at least one good thing came out of this. You'll never have your little Buffy again." "You know what, Darla? You let me worry about getting Buffy back. You just make sure you stay out of my life and out of my sight, you got that?" he growled, rising to his feet. "I don't want to ever see you again. You stay away from me, you stay away from Buffy, and you stay away from my family." He turned and walked down the hall and out the door, never looking back. Darla's hateful laughter followed him all the way. Climbing in his car, he slammed the door violently and started up his car. He had to pause a moment and take a few deep breaths to clear away the red haze of anger that filled his vision. Once he was a bit calmer, he threw the car into reverse and backed down her driveway, aiming his car in the direction of his house...aiming it the direction of his brother. He had never been so angry with anyone in his life, and it frightened even him to think about what might happen. He didn't know what he was going to do when he came face to face with his brother but he did know one thing...he wasn't going to let the little fuck get away with this. Images flashed through his mind as he drove along, images of his hands around Xander's neck, the little whelp's face turning blue and his eyes bulging out. He had known that Xander was jealous of his relationship with Buffy, but he hadn't known that the boy hated him so very much. Angel just could not believe that his own brother had been so willing to just sit back and watch while Darla ruined his life. Hell, he had even helped her! As anger rolled through Angel's body, he pressed his foot down hard on the accelerator, his car roaring its way back to his house. Somewhere along the way, he stopped thinking of Xander as his brother. Somewhere along the way, he simply became a dead man walking to Angel as he thought about everything that Xander's lies could have cost him, everything that they had already cost him. Chapter 16 When Angel got home, it was still too early for his parents to be home, but school had already let out for the day. That meant that his backstabbing little brother was either downstairs raiding the kitchen or upstairs, lying on his bed and listening to that damned country music that he liked so much. It didn't really matter much to Angel...he was going to find him either way, and when he did, Xander was going to be sorry. Very sorry. Slamming his car door and walking briskly up the driveway, Angel fiddled around with his keys until he had found the right one and then pushed it in the key whole, turning it until he heard a click. Making his way to the kitchen, he found that Xander wasn't there but had been, evidence of his after school raid scattered across the kitchen in the form of soda cans, an empty chip bag, and a candy bar wrapper or two. Angel wrinkled his nose in disgust. His brother really was a slob. Not wanting to waste any time that could be spent pummeling Xander, Angel marched up the stairs to the second floor and right over to Xander's door. Not bothering to knock, Angel shoved the door open, sending it flying into the wall with a loud bang. Xander looked up at him with a startled look in his eyes, quickly closing out the porn sites that he'd had pulled up on his computer. "What do you want?" he asked nervously, seeing the look of pure rage on Angel's face. He barely had the words out before Angel had his hand wrapped around Xander's throat, pulling him out of his chair and pinning him against the wall. "Angel, what are you doing?" Xander gasped, panic written across his face. "Well, you see, Xand, an interesting thing happened to me today," Angel said, his eyes betraying his calm voice. "I went to see Darla today and she and I had a little chat." "Yeah? So?" Xander said nervously, his eyes beginning to bulge out a little in the pleasant way that Angel had imagined. "What's that got to do with me?" "She filled me on the little plan that you two had going," Angel growled angrily. "You know, the one where you help her convince me that the baby she is carrying is mine? The one where I lose everything that is important to me? The one where you RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE?" Angel yelled furiously. "Look, Angel, it was all her idea," Xander rasped out. "I swear, man, she thought up the whole thing." "Do you think that it really matters to me who thought it up?" Angel asked incredulously. "The answer is no, Xander, it doesn't. I don't give a flying fuck who thought it up. The fact is that you, my own brother, helped that bitch plot against me. You were willing to let me drop out of school and support a child that isn't even mine. You were going to stand by while I ruined my life!" "I'm sorry!" Xander gurgled. "At first, I didn't realize what the consequences would be. I just wanted to get Buffy back! When I saw how this thing was really affecting you, I tried to stop it. I told Darla I wanted to tell you, but she threatened to expose me, to you and to Buffy." "So you just let Darla lead you around by the balls, willing to let my life go down the drain so that Buffy didn't find out what a piece of shit you are, right?" Angel yelled. "Well, she's going to find out now because I'm going to tell her. She deserves to know that someone she has been considering her friend is really nothing more than a liar." "No, please," Xander whispered, oxygen really becoming an issue for him now. "Don't tell her, please. She'll hate me." "You mean like she hates me?" Angel asked, laughing coldly. "It seems kind of fitting to me." "I-I can't...breathe," Xander gasped, his face beginning to turn blue. "Angel, I can't breathe." Sighing heavily, Angel sat Xander back down on the floor, but the look on his face told Xander that he'd better stay right where he was anyway. Gulping in big breaths of precious air, Xander rubbed his sore throat, his eyes never leaving Angel. "What are you going to do to me?" he asked Angel warily. At that moment, he was truly afraid of his brother for the first time in his life. "I already told you," Angel said. "I'm going to tell Buffy the truth." Xander's eyes widened in disbelief. "That's it?" he asked in relief. "I-I mean, you aren't going to tell Mom?" "Mom doesn't need to know," Angel said coldly. "It would only hurt her to know what kind of person you have become. No, I think that telling Buffy the truth, letting you experience what it's like to lose her trust, I think that's the best punishment I could give you." As Angel turned to walk away, Xander silently celebrated to himself that his punishment was so easy. Sure, it would hurt to not have Buffy in his life anymore, but at least he wasn't getting the pummeling that he expected. Suddenly, Angel stopped and turned around, walking back over to his brother. "Oh, yeah, there's just one more thing," he said before bringing his fist back and smashing it into Xander's face, putting all his strength behind the punch. As the boy fell unconscious and bleeding to the floor, Angel smirked at him and walked away. When he got downstairs, he stopped long enough to call Faith to ask her if she knew where Buffy was. For some reason, Faith had always been all for he and Buffy being together, so he was pretty sure she would tell him what he wanted to know, and she did. Thanking her quickly and saying goodbye, Angel hung up the phone and grabbed his keys, heading for the Bronze. ******************************************************* Spike and Buffy were sitting around a table at the Bronze, sipping their sodas and listening to some random band play up on the stage while they talked. They had really become good friends since they had met in the alley that night, and Buffy felt very lucky to have him in her life. He was someone he could talk to, someone she could tell anything and not have to worry about him laughing at her. He was straightforward and honest, and she could always rely on him to tell her his honest opinion. In fact, they made it a point to get together at least once or twice a week, just to get out of the house and have some fun, to catch up on each other's life, whatever. Buffy really enjoyed Spike's company, and he enjoyed hers. Tonight, their topic of conversation had somehow turned towards Faith. "So, Buffy, when are you gonna introduce me to this Faith bint you keep taunting me with?" Spike asked her with a raised eyebrow. "I'm starting to think that either you're makin' her up, or else you want me all to yourself," he joked. "Oh yeah, right!" Buffy exclaimed with a laugh. "You *so* wish that I wanted you," she said, nudging him playfully in the ribs with her elbow. "Just trust me, okay? I'll introduce you to her soon, but I can't do that until I know that Angel knows I'm over him. You're like my security blankey, Spike...all warm and fuzzy and...pink." "I am *not* warm or fuzzy, and I'm sure the hell not *pink*!" he growled at her. "I'm total punk, baby, and a bad ass to boot. And if I have to be associated with any color, can't it please be black? Or maybe even chrome?" "Is chrome even a color?" Buffy asked, wrinkling up her nose. "Look, I will introduce you to Faith soon, I promise. You two are gonna hit if off, I can tell," she said, changing the subject. "I think you two were *made* for each other." "Well, when I get to meet her, I'll get to see if that's a compliment or an insult," he said. "So are you ever going to get over this Angel guy, luv? Seriously, I'm staring to worry about you." "Worry about me? Why? Because it's taking me a while to get over him? How long did it take *you* to get over your ex-girlfriend?" she asked defensively. "Still working on that one, I'm afraid," he said with a soft small, vulnerability shining in his eyes. "Well, it will happen...for *both* of us," she added. "And don't worry, Spike, I'm sure that she's out there somewhere, cursing herself for every letting a great guy like you go." "Well, I'm not too sure about that, but thanks all the same, pet," Spike said gratefully. His gaze shifted then, focusing somewhere behind her and she could feel him tense up. She shot him a questioning look, wondering what in the world was wrong with him. "Speak of the devil," he said through gritted teeth. "Here comes you ex-boyfriend now. Do you want me to tell him to sod off?" Buffy groaned softly, feeling her stomach drop to her feet at the prospect of seeing Angel. Every time she saw him, it was like a slap in the face. Still, she was curious to know what he wanted. "No, that's okay," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll deal with him." "You sure?" Spike asked, his brows knitted together in concern. Buffy nodded in confirmation. "Right then," he said with a little nod. "I'll give you and the wanker some privacy then." As he stood up and prepared to leave, Buffy got an idea. "Spike, wait," she hissed quietly. "Kiss me." "What?" "Kiss me," she demanded, her eyes growing wide. "You know, to make him jealous." "Oh...right then," Spike said, nodding in understanding. Leaning down, he brushed his lips softly against hers, intending on just giving her a quick little peck, but she would have none of his. Winding her arms around his neck, she pulled in closer, worming her tongue into his mouth and holding on tightly. Spike's eyes flew open in shock for a moment before he shut them again, trying to play along with Buffy's little game. Finally, she let him up for air and he quickly backed away from her, making sure to stay out of her reach. "Um, yeah, so I'll see you later, okay, luv? I'll give you a call," he said, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He gave Angel one last stern look before he scampered off, still trying to catch his breath from Buffy's kiss. ******************************************************* Angel felt his heart lurch in his chest when he spotted Buffy at a table with some blonde headed guy who looked vaguely familiar. Maybe he'd had class with him before or something? Before Angel could think about it much harder, he saw the guy stand up and give Buffy a kiss before leaving. Actually, it was more of a mauling than a kiss, he grumbled to himself. The guy shot Angel a dirty look before leaving, telling Buffy he would call her later. Angel forced himself not to dwell on the kiss, taking a deep breath and walking over to the table. "Mind if I take a seat?" he asked in a low voice. "It's a free country," Buffy said coldly, not even bothering to turn around. Sighing at how badly things were going already, Angel sat down in the chair that Spike had just vacated. "So...how have you been?" he asked awkwardly, not really sure how to begin. "Peachy," she said dully, swirling her straw around in her soda. "And yourself? How's the little lady and your kid doing?" she bit out. She hadn't meant to say it, but she couldn't stop herself. She didn't seem to have control of her own mouth as the words just slipped out, and she cursed herself silently for letting him know that she was still hurt, that she still cared. "They're not," Angel blurted. Buffy looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Excuse me? Care to translate that for me, oh cryptic one?" Angel ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Darla and I aren't together, and the baby's not mine." There, he had said it. "What do you mean the baby's not yours?" Buffy asked in confusion. "If it's not yours, then who the hell is the father?" "An old high school rival of mine, Lindsey McDonald," Angel told her bitterly. "Apparently, after I kicked Darla out that day that you caught us in the pool, she and Lindsey got together and a couple months later, Darla found out she was pregnant. Neither one wanted the baby, but they thought that it would be a perfect way to get back at me, so they decided to tell me that I was the father." "How did you find out about all of this?" Buffy asked him in amazement. "Well, I went by Darla's house today to return her wallet that she dropped in my bedroom," he admitted. Seeing the look of fury cross her face, he quickly added," It's not what you think. I went with her to a doctor's appointment and she dropped me off at my house. She asked me to use the bathroom and then, knowing that nobody else was home, she tried to seduce me. I kicked her out, Buffy, I swear!" "You don't owe me any explanations," Buffy said coolly. "It's really none of my business." "Buffy, please-" "Just finish the story, Angel," she said impatiently. "I'm not getting any younger here." "Anyway, I heard arguing when I got there so I went inside to see what was going on and overheard Darla and Lindsey arguing. From the things they said, it didn't sound like I was the baby's father after all, but I had to be sure. I waited for Lindsey to leave and then confronted Darla. She admitted all of it, Buffy! I have it on tape." Buffy remained silent for a long moment, just staring at her soda. When she finally looked up at him, the expression on her face was completely blank, crushing Angel's hopes that his revelation would change anything between them. "Well, I'm happy for you, I guess," she said calmly. "It wouldn't be right for you to have to support a child that wasn't yours." "Buffy, that's not all," Angel said urgently. "Darla also told me that Xander was in on the whole thing. He just wanted to break us up so that you would come back to him." "Stop it! Just stop it right now!" she said angrily, her voice rising. "Stop lying to me! You aren't going to make me believe that Xander was in on it. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't lie to me that way. Xander is a good person!" "I was afraid that you wouldn't believe me," Angel said quietly. "That's why I confronted him and recorded his confession, too." He pulled the tape recorder out of his pocket and hit the rewind button, pausing for a few seconds before clicking it off and hitting play. "I'm sorry!" Xander's voice said. "At first, I didn't realize what the consequences would be. I just wanted to get Buffy back! When I saw how this thing was really affecting you, I tried to stop it. I told Darla I wanted to tell you, but she threatened to expose me, to you and to Buffy." Angel hit the stop button and looked at her seriously. "They wanted to break us up, Buffy. It was all one big set-up to break us apart." "Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to hurt me even more than you already have by showing me that I can't even trust Xander?" Buffy looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. "What are you trying to accomplish here, Angel? Do you think that changes anything between us?" she asked him in a shaking voice. "Do you think that it erases all of the lies that you have told me? Well, it doesn't! I could never trust you again, Angel. I could never be sure that the things coming out of your mouth weren't lies." "Buffy, I swear that I've changed! You just have to give me a chance to prove it to you," he pleaded with her. "You want honesty? Fine, I'll give it to you. That collection of panties that Xander said I had? I *did* have one, and I was an asshole for it, but I threw it away after I met and starting falling in love with you. That night that you talked to Xander online and got his okay for us being together? That was me that you were talking to. He got a phone call and while he was away, I pretended to be him so that you would think it was okay with him if we went out. I know, it was an awful thing to do, and I'm sorry, but I *have* changed. Please give me a chance to prove that to you." "I'm through giving people chances," Buffy told him in an icy voice. "I'm tired of all the lies and all of the manipulating. I'm done with all of that." "Buffy, I lied to you, and I know I was wrong, but you have to believe me when I say that one thing I never lied about was my feelings for you. I love you...god, I love you so much that it hurts," he told her sincerely. "You are the world to me, Buffy. Please don't say it's over," he begged. "I don't *have* to believe anything. Angel, it's over and the sooner you come to terms with that, the better," she told him matter-of- factly. "I could never trust you again, even if I wanted to, and the truth of the matter is that I *don't* want to. I have moved on, Angel, as you saw for yourself just a few minutes ago. You really should do the same," she said, standing up and grabbing her purse before walking away. Angel sat at the table, completely crushed by her words. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be able to redeem himself in her eyes. He wished that he could take back all of the stupid, selfish things he had done, but if there was one thing he had learned from all of this, it was that he couldn't. He couldn't go back and erase the past, couldn't pretend like it all didn't happen. Unfortunately, it was a lesson that had cost him everything. Chapter 17 After his last conversation with Buffy, Angel withdrew into himself, sinking into a deep depression. He wouldn't eat, barely slept, and it seemed like the only time he came out of his room was to go to school, and even then he came straight back and went back up to his room. His parents were really becoming concerned about him and his uncharacteristic behavior, but they didn't know what they could do to help him. It had been a huge relief to everyone when he had announced that he wasn't the father of Darla's baby, and they had all thought that he would have been very happy about the news, but it seemed that something else was wrong, something that overshadowed his joy over not being the father. Angel was trying to deal with the loss of Buffy in his own way, but it didn't seem to be helping at all. He tried throwing himself into his schoolwork, but ever portrait he painted, every sketch he drew was of Buffy's beautiful face. Pictures and sketches lay all over his room, decorating the walls, floors, and furniture with Buffy's image. If a stranger had seen the room, they might have mistaken if for a shrine or the manifestation of a man's sick obsession, but in reality, it was just a broken man's way of coping with losing the love of his life. One day, while Angel was still in class, Xander ventured into his brother's bedroom, intending on borrowing a clean pair of socks. He didn't dare go anywhere near Angel's room when he was home, not after the black eye that he given him the day he found out about Darla's plan. Xander knew he had deserved it but that didn't mean that he was going to go looking for more. The bruising was just now beginning to fade. When Xander pushed open the door and stepped inside, his mouth dropped open in awe. Suddenly, it was quite clear what Angel had been doing up there all the time, locked behind the safety of his bedroom door. Images of Buffy were strewn about everywhere. It was then that Xander began to become concerned about his brother's well being. It wasn't healthy to be locked up here with nothing but memories and shattered dreams to keep you company, even Xander knew that. Xander sincerely felt guilty for what he had done to his brother. He was finally beginning to get over Buffy, accepting the fact that she would never be his again, and as a result, his perception was beginning to clear a bit. He now realized just how much pain he had caused his brother and felt badly, and he wanted to make amends. He knew he had to do something to help his brother, and soon, but he had no idea what. He had heard his parents talking just the night before about checking Angel into some kind of mental health clinic. They thought it was just severe depression that was plaguing their son. He was so unlike the Angel they used to know. That Angel was the big man on campus, always going somewhere, whether it was to a party, a game, or out on a date. The Angel of today was a mere shell of himself, and they wanted to know why. Neither his mother nor his father had any idea that a tiny little blonde named Buffy Summers was the thing that turned his world upside down. Deciding that he would do what he should have done a long time ago, Xander vowed to himself that tomorrow he would confront Buffy and try to make her see that Angel had changed. He shook his head in amazement as he shut the bedroom door quietly and retreated back down the hall. Never in a million would he have thought that he would be going to Buffy on behalf of his brother. Funny how things change. ******************************************************* The next morning, Xander made sure that he was up bright and early, not even bothering with breakfast before jetting out the door. He walked quickly to school, wanting to be sure to catch Buffy before homeroom. As he walked up the steps to the school and pushed through the double doors, everyone stared at him curiously. They had rarely ever seen Xander on time for class, let alone early. He pushed past them all, ignoring them and focusing on what he had to do. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but it was important for him to do this. It was important that he helped Angel before it was too late. When Xander got further down the hall, he caught a glimpse of Buffy and a few of her friends at her locker. She had her shirt raised up a little, revealing her flat, toned stomach and showing off her new bellybutton piercing. As he got closer, he could hear her going on and on about it. "Isn't it great?" she asked her friends excitedly. "I got it yesterday. Spike went with me and held my hand while they did it." She glanced up then, catching sight of Xander and narrowing her eyes sharply. She dropped her shirt back down, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the bank of lockers, blatantly glaring at Xander in contempt. Refusing to let himself be intimidated and chicken out, Xander took a deep breath and walked right up to where she stood. "Hi, guys," he said calmly. "Listen, I need to talk to Buffy alone for a second, okay?" He tried to sound friendly and light, but the strain in his voice was obvious even to his own ears. Buffy's friends exchanged curious looks before scattering down the hallway, each one latching onto someone else to gossip with. "What do you want, Xander?" Buffy asked coldly. "I just want to talk to you for a minute, okay?" he asked warily. "I just want you to hear me out." "Why? So you can fill my head with more lies and manipulate me even more?" Buffy asked angrily. "Gee, let me think about that for a minute...no." She punctuated her last word by slamming her locker door shut violently. "Buffy, I know Angel told you what I did, and I really want to apologize," Xander began. "I don't know why I did the things that I did. That's not who I am. I guess that when we broke up, I just lost it a little. I'm really sorry." "Oh well, that makes it all better," Buffy said sarcastically. "Okay, look, if you don't want to forgive me, that's fine," Xander said in exasperation. "I wanted to apologize, and I did, but that's not really the reason I wanted to talk to you." "No?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well, spit it out then because I have places to be." "It's about Angel-" "What about him?" she asked sharply. "Are you here to tell me more lies about him? Because if you are, just save your breath. It's over between us. That's what you wanted, right?" "Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yes, that's what I wanted at first b-but not anymore," Xander stammered. "Buffy, if you could only see how much he's hurting right now..." "And what about me?" Buffy asked, jabbing a finger in her chest. "What about how much he hurt *me*? I'm sorry to disappoint you, Xander, but if I'm supposed to feel all sorry for Angel, I don't. He brought it all on himself by lying and manipulating." "Buffy, he made some mistakes, and he knows that," Xander admitted. "But he's not that person anymore. He's changed, Buffy, and he's changed because of *you*, because of his love for you." "And why should I believe you, Xander? Huh? Tell me, because I'd really like to know," Buffy spat. "You are nothing but a liar, just like your brother. What are you now, his little spokesman? Even if I believed you, why should I care? Angel is out of my life now, for good. In case you haven't noticed, I have moved on. I have a boyfriend now, one who doesn't lie to me and try to manipulate me." "Buffy, can't you just give him another chance?" Xander pleaded with her. "He loves you so much! Why can't you see that?" "If he loved me, he wouldn't have lied," she insisted. "If *you* loved *him*, you'd give him another chance," Xander snapped, losing his patience. "But I guess that is just too much to ask from you, isn't it, Buffy? For you to think about someone else for once? For you to love someone as much as you love yourself?" Buffy slapped him hard across the face. "How. Dare. You," she ground out. "Who the hell are you to judge me, Xander? What gives you the right? You could never know how much I loved Angel, and a part of me still does, but I can't let myself get hurt like that again. You have no idea what it's like to be me, no idea how I feel, so don't even try to pretend that you do." "Oh, that's right, feel sorry for yourself," Xander said angrily, his hand coming up to the place on his cheek where she had struck him. "Poor little Buffy, always the victim. Well guess what, Buff? You aren't the only person in the world who has been screwed over. Can you possibly get over yourself for a minute and think about what Angel has been through? He was manipulated into thinking he was a father, then had that ripped away from him. He loved you more than anything, then had *you* ripped away from him. His own brother betrayed him, and he almost lost everything. So you were lied to...so what? People are lied to every day of their lives, but at least you didn't have to go through the hell that he did." "Just get out of my face, okay, Xander?" Buffy ground out. "You disgust me." "And *you* disgust *me*," Xander replied. "You know, Buffy, standing here and talking to you today, I don't know what I ever saw in you." "Go to hell, Xander." Xander just stared at her for a moment, unable to believe how coldhearted she was being. He had known she was stubborn, but this was ridiculous. She was letting her damned pride get in the way of true love, and she was too stupid to see it. He just shook his head in disgust. "See you around, Buffy." With that he walked off, leaving Buffy behind at her locker, fuming with anger. ******************************************************* Angel walked around campus numbly, going through all the motions of going to class, answering questions when he was called upon, and taking tests, but his heart really wasn't in anything he did anymore. He walked around now with a constant feeling of emptiness, like there was a whole in his heart, a feeling that could only really be understood by those who had loved and lost. Every waking moment was painful, every breath laborious. It hurt just to be alive, but he tried to go on, making the best he could out of every day. He had lost so much weight lately that he almost didn't even recognize his own reflection when he looked in the mirror. He was truly only a shell of the man he had once been, walking around mindlessly day to day. He was heading to one of his art classes when he saw a familiar figure striding across campus confidently and he felt his stomach drop when he realized whom it was. It was Buffy's new boyfriend. Making a snap decision, Angel broke into a jog to catch up with the guy, tapping him on the shoulder when he caught up with him. "Excuse me," Angel said in a neutral tone. "I was wondering if I could have a word with you." Spike turned around then, raising an eyebrow when he saw who had stopped him. "That all depends, I suppose," Spike said coolly. "What's this about?" Angel took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to do what he had set out to do. "It's about Buffy," he blurted. "Is that so? Well, what about her?" Spike asked, squaring his shoulders and drawing himself up to his full height, preparing for a fight. "Look, I just wanted to say...just don't hurt her, okay? Don't make the mistake that I made," Angel said, lowering his eyes in shame. "She's a great girl, and you are a very lucky man." Spike stood there silently for a moment, a bit surprised. This wasn't what he had expected from the fellow at all. "Uh, right then," Spike said awkwardly. "So that's it then? You just wanted to tell me not to hurt her?" "Yeah, that and to congratulate you. You have a great girl," Angel mumbled in a low voice. "You, uh, you really love her, don't you?" Spike asked. "Yeah, I do," Angel said in a hoarse voice. "But I don't really guess that matters now. Just take care of her, okay? Keep her heart safe...something I tried but failed to do. She's happy with you, I can tell. You seem like a decent guy...uh..." "Spike," Spike supplied. "Right. As I was saying, you seem like a decent guy, Spike, someone who can give her the stability she needs," Angel told him. "Well, uh, I should go. I'm gonna be late for class." "Uh, yeah, me too," Spike said in a dazed tone. "Nice to talk to you," he added lamely. "Yeah, same here," Angel replied before walking off with his head down, shoulders slumped. Spike watched him walk off in wonder. He recognized that walk very well, and the look of defeat to match. The boy had it bad for Buffy, that was for sure. He found himself feeling sorry for the brooding fellow that Buffy had stomped all over. He had been in a similar state of mind when his ex-girlfriend had left him. "Bloody hell, Summers, you really know how to set 'em up and knock 'em down, don't ya?" he muttered to himself. He and Buffy were going to have to have a serious talk because it was quite obvious that she was making a huge mistake. Whatever the ponce had done in the past, whatever mistakes he had made, it was clear that he had learned from them and was sorry about all of it. As a friend, he felt it was his obligation to talk some sense into her. Well, that and the fact that if she got back together with her boy toy, maybe he would finally get to meet the sultry, dark-haired vixen he had been hearing so much about from Buffy. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he headed for class. Tonight, he was to meet Buffy at the Bronze...and tonight, he was gonna make her listen to reason. Chapter 18 The minute Buffy saw Spike walk into the Bronze, a huge smile lit up her face. She loved getting together with him and hanging out, talking about their day and sharing stories. Spike was actually quickly becoming one of her closest and dearest friends. Her smile quickly began to fade a little, however, when she saw the somber, determined look on his face. Standing up from her seat and waving so that he could see she had snagged a table in the back, Buffy waited nervously for him to push his way through the crowd. "Hey you! Why so glum?" she asked him as he stalked over to the table and threw his jacket down on one of the chairs. "Look at all of these bloody people! Asses and elbows out there, it is! Can't even hardly move in here," he said irritably. "Yeah, it is pretty crowded in here tonight," Buffy agreed, surveying the crowd of people. "So how have you been? Anything interesting happen to you lately?" she asked conversationally. Spike had opened his mouth, just about to speak, when a waitress made her way over to their table, sitting down two sodas and a fried onion blossom. Spike's eyes lit up when he saw the appetizer laid out before him. "Aw, luv, you shouldn't have," he said, digging right in. Buffy shrugged, smiling slightly. "Well, I know how much you love those things," she said. "So tell me about your day." "Oh, right then," Spike said, remembering what his purpose had been before the onion blossom distraction. "I ran into your ex today at school." Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Oh really? Did he say anything to you?" she wanted to know. "As a matter of fact, he did," Spike informed her. "He came up to congratulate me." "Congratulate you? For what?" she asked, her brows knitted together in confusion. "For winning you over, apparently," he said with a shrug. "I thought he was coming over to pick a fight or something at first, but he just told me not to hurt you. Went on and on about what a great girl you are and how lucky I am," Spike said, pausing to take a sip of his soda. "He basically gave me the old 'don't break her heart' speech. You know the one...give her what I couldn't, make her happy. All of that rubbish." "Really?" Buffy asked in amazement. "Somehow that just doesn't strike me as something Angel would do." "Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do," Spike suggested lightly. "Or maybe the bloke really has changed." "Oh no! Don't you start in on me now, too!" Buffy said in exasperation. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Spike asked, looking at her as if she had gone mad. "I had a little run in with Xander today," Buffy said dully. "He was trying to convince me to take Angel back. He kept going on and on about how Angel had changed and how much he was hurting. He told me I should give him another chance." "What a minute...Xander was trying to convince you to take Angel back?" Spike asked in disbelief. "I thought that Xander helped orchestrate the whole thing to break you and Angel up." "I know! It's crazy," Buffy said with a sigh. "I guess he finally got the message that he and I were not ever going to happen. Anyway, I told him no way was I going to take Angel back, and he just went off on me. He basically told me that I was self-centered and didn't take other people's feelings into consideration. He said I always felt sorry for myself and didn't take the time to realize when other people are in pain, too. Can you believe that?" she huffed in indignation. "Um, do you really want me to answer that?" Spike asked with a grimace. "So you think that, too? That's what you think of me?" she asked in a hurt voice. "I thought we were friends!" "We *are* friends, luv, and I don't think badly of you at all," Spike assured her. "It's just that I think you are being perhaps a bit hard on Angel. People can change, you know, and from talking to him today, I could tell that he is very sorry for what he has done. He's miserable, pet. It's written all over his face." "He deserves to be miserable after everything he has done," Buffy said sullenly, pouting out her lower lip. "Buffy Summers, will you listen to yourself? You sound like a bloody four year old!" Spike cried in exasperation. "Look, no one is arguing with you on the fact what he did to you was shitty, but there comes a time in a person's life where they need to just forgive and forget...or at least forgive. Look, I know the look that he wears well. I've been wearing it myself for a while now. It's the look of a man who has had his heart broken, Buffy." "Spike, I just don't know," Buffy said hesitantly. "I mean, how do I know that he's not going to do the same thing to me all over again?" "Sweets, believe me when I tell you that the bloke only has eyes for you," Spike assured her. "Come on now, if it's obvious to a person that doesn't even know him that he's in love with you, head over heels in fact, shouldn't it be obvious to you?" "I guess," she said, squirming in her seat a little. "I mean, I know he says he loves me, but if he loves me, how could he have had sex with Darla?" "Buffy, you told me yourself that there was nothing between you two when he and that bitch had their little go around," Spike reminded her. "I know that," she said in frustration. "It's just that...I don't know, I guess it's the fact that he sent me flowers hinting at his feelings for me the very same day I caught them together. I mean, what am I supposed to think? He was sending me flowers while he was screwing someone else in the pool." "Hey, I'm not saying it was right, but sometimes a man just has moment of weakness," Spike said reasonably. "Haven't you ever done something that you knew was completely wrong, but you did it anyway because you were too weak to say no?" "Well...yes...but what about the lies he told?" Buffy asked, unwillingly to let go of her anger so easily. "He lied to me, Spike. He pretended to be Xander *and* he lied to me about having a collection of panties. I mean, he *had* a collection of panties that belonged to all of the girls he has slept with! That in itself is completely repulsive." "Guys do stupid things, pet," Spike said in exasperation. "Does he still have the collection now?" "Well, no," she said hesitantly. "And why not?" "Because he threw them away when he met me," she admitted reluctantly. "There you go!" Spike said triumphantly, sitting his glass down so hard that soda sloshed over the top, spilling onto the table. Ignoring the mess he had just made, but pulling the onion blossom over to the other side of the table for safety, he went on to make his point. "I could understand you being upset if he had kept them, but you can't really fault a guy for what he did before he met you. It's what he does after he meets you that is important." "Right," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "He lied to me." "Godamn it, Buffy, will you stop being so damned stubborn!" Spike almost yelled, slamming his hand down onto the table and into the puddle of soda. "Fuck," he said irritably, grabbing a napkin and drying of his hand and then the table. "Look, the lies he told you? They were minor little things, and if you want my honest opinion, he lied to you because he likes you. Any man in his right mind would lie about having a collection of women's knickers if his lady called him on it, and as far as pretending to be Xander...he obviously just did it because he wanted to be with you. You have a bad habit of letting guilt really weigh you down sometimes. Honestly, I can see you never going out with another guy in high school if you thought it would have hurt Xander's feelings. I'm sorry, Buffy, but I just don't see what the big problem is, other than the fact that you are bullheaded, of course." Buffy sat there silently for a long moment, contemplating what Spike had told her. The man *did* make some valid points. Maybe it was time to let go of some of her anger. She shook her head as if to clear it, deciding that she was going to have to think about it some more before she made any decisions. "I don't know, Spike. Maybe you are right. I'm just going to have to think about it," Buffy said, voicing her thoughts to him. Spike sighed heavily. The little blonde sitting across from him really could be a handful sometimes. "Okay, luv, well at least that's a start," he said, willing to settle for even a minor victory. Buffy smiled a little at her friend's exasperation with her. "Spike, you really are a great friend, do you know that?" she said sincerely. "You have been here for me through a really tough time in my life, and I think that you deserve a little something in return." She pushed her chair back and stood up. "Where are you going?" he wanted to know. "Don't worry, I'll be right back, okay?" she told him before turning and disappearing into the crowd. Spike was left there alone with nothing but spilt soda and his onion blossom, which in his opinion was bloody good company. Munching happily on his appetizer, he flagged down the waitress to order a beer and some chicken wings while he waited for Buffy to return. However, when his friend reappeared with a dark-haired beauty at her side, all thoughts of food and liquor vanished from his mind instantly. He stared at the girl wordlessly, his mouth gaping open slightly as he took in her dark, seductive beauty. "Spike, I'd like you to meet my good friend Faith," Buffy said with a smile, reaching out a hand and pushing Spike's jaw up gently. "Hey there," Faith said with a smile. "Damn, B, you didn't tell me that he was such a stud muffin," she directed at Buffy, her eyes never leaving Spike. "The question is, can he speak?" Spike narrowed his eyes as Buffy giggled girlishly at Faith's comment, while Faith herself simply smirked at him. "Er, of course I can bloody well speak," Spike managed to get out, trying to sound annoyed. "The name's Spike," he said, standing up and stretching out a hand, which Faith took and shook firmly. "Quite a grip you got there," Spike said in admiration. "Yeah, so I've been told," she said with another smirk, her tone heavy with innuendo. Spike's eyes widened slightly at her words. Bloody hell, he thought to himself, she almost made me come in my pants. "So tell me, English, how'd you get to be friends with the Twinkie here?" she asked, gesturing towards Buffy. "Just sorta happened. Ran into her one night here, went for coffee, and the rest is history," he told her. She simply nodded. "So, uh, you wanna maybe dance or something?" Spike asked her nervously. "Sure, sounds like fun," Faith said. "You gonna be alright, B?" "Oh, yeah, I'll be fine," Buffy reassured them. "You two go on and have fun. I'm just gonna head home. I sorta have a lot to think about." "Okay, well, I'll call you tomorrow, alright?" Faith asked, grabbing hold of Spike's arm and preparing to drag him out on the dance floor. "Sure," Buffy said with a smile. "You guys have a blast." "Oh, we will," Faith said, raising her eyebrows suggestively before pulling Spike out on the dance floor. Buffy gathered her things and left then, after casting one more look at her two friends out on the dance floor. They really are perfect for each other, she thought to herself with a little smile as she pushed open the door and exited the club. Faith and Spike watched her go from their spot on the dance floor. "So you think she's gonna take him back?" Faith yelled over the loud, pulsing music. "Don't know," Spike hollered back. "But I hope so. I really hope so." ******************************************************* //I pretended I'm glad you went away These four walls closing more everyday And I'm dyin' inside And nobody knows it but me Like a clown I put on a show The pain is real even if nobody knows And I'm cryin' inside And nobody knows it but me// All the way home, Buffy thought about Angel. She missed him so much, and even though she tried to put on a nonchalant front for everyone else, she still loved him a lot. She wished with all of her heart that they could just go back and erase the past, but she knew that was impossible. The real question now was whether she was going to be able to forgive him for what he had done...and whether she really wanted to. In her heart, she knew that Spike was right...Angel's offenses had actually been pretty minor. She just didn't like being lied to. She wanted to be able to trust the man she loved. She supposed that one of the reasons she had felt so betrayed was that all of it had came out the day after she had given herself to him. She had waited for a long time to have sex, wanting to save herself for the man she genuinely loved and who loved her back, and she had thought that Angel was that man. When she had found out about all of his lies and past indiscretions, it had been like a punch in the stomach. Now she sat alone in her bedroom, wondering if she should take him back, wondering if she would ever find happiness again if she didn't. She thought back to all of the times he had tried to apologize to her, the way he had absolutely begged for her forgiveness. She realized how hard it must have been for him to swallow his pride like that just to get her back. She began to feel terrible about the way she had treated him. Xander's words echoed through her head as she sat there staring at the wall. 'If you loved him, you would give him another chance.' There was no question about it. She loved Angel more than she had ever loved anyone, more than she had ever imagined possible. It was obvious to her now that she had made as bad of a mistake as he had...she had pushed his love away. She just hoped that it wasn't too late to make things right. Would he even still want her after the way she had treated him? //Why didn't I say, the things I needed to say How could I let my angel get away Now my world is just a tumblin' down I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around// ******************************************************* //The nights are lonely, the days are so sad And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had And I'm missin' you And nobody knows it but me I carry a smile when I'm broken in two And I'm nobody without someone like you I'm tremblin' inside And nobody knows it but me// Angel laid on his bed that night, just staring at the ceiling, trying to pass the time on another sleepless night. He was finally beginning to come to terms with the fact that he had lost Buffy for good. It didn't make it any easier, nor did it take the pain away, but at least he was beginning to accept it. He missed her so much, and sometimes at night while he was sleeping, he would dream of her and could feel her in his arms again. He would wake up in tears, his heart aching with loneliness, knowing he would never hold her again, never kiss her sweet lips again. His dreams were the only time he was ever happy anymore...every waking minute seemed like one long, endless nightmare. He tried to put on a happy front for everyone else, especially his parents because he knew they were so worried about him, but inside he never stopped hurting. His heart was broken, and he didn't know if it would ever mend. How did you get over losing the love of your life? Maybe he never would. Maybe he would just go through life as only a shell of a man, unwilling to be the man he used to be and unable to be the kind of man he wanted to be. He wanted to be a man that Buffy could trust, someone she could turn to no matter what...someone she could love, but he had messed things up so badly that he didn't think that was possible anymore. If he couldn't be that man, then he was nothing. //I lie awake, its a quarter past three I'm screamin' at night As if I thought you'd hear me Yeah my heart is callin' you And nobody knows it but me// ******************************************************* //How blue can I get, you could ask my heart But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart A million words couldn't say just how I feel A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still// That night, Buffy and Angel shared a feeling of great loneliness and melancholy. Both needed each other so much, but stupid pride and stubbornness, lies and mistakes, had kept them apart. Hearts had been broken, feelings hurt, trust misplaced, but their love for one another had never waned, and despite how much they might have wished it would, it was never going to. //Tomorrow morning I'm hittin' the dusty road Gonna find you where ever, ever you might go And I'm gonna unload my heart And hope you come back to me// Buffy made up her mind that night that tomorrow, she was going to set things right. It was time to forgive each other and let the past go, because if they didn't, how were they ever going to heal? She wasn't going to let pride or resentment get in her way of happiness. Tomorrow, she was going to go to Angel and tell him that she wanted him back. She just hoped that he would still want her, even after the way she had been acting lately. Chapter 19 It was pouring down rain the next day when Buffy woke up, the distant rumble of thunder rousing her from her dreamless slumber. Big, fat raindrops pelted against her bedroom window like tiny little fingers tapping on the pane to remind her of what she had to do today. Wake up, Buffy, they seemed to be telling her. Today you have to make things right. She rubbed her eyes sleepily, her hair sticking up in a million different directions, and threw the covers off, sliding out of bed. Her room was cast in a dim light, and when she opened up the blinds, she saw that it was the sky was cloudy and overcast, an angry, steely gray color. Nope, there was no sunshine today. Scowling at the weather outside before shutting the blinds, she stumbled to the shower and turned on the hot water. She was hoping that a nice hot, steamy shower would help relax her and sooth her nerves. She hadn't hardly slept a wink last night worrying about how Angel would react when she showed up on his doorstep, and even now, her stomach was tied up in painful knots as she wondered whether or not he would take her back. She stepped under the hot spray of water with a sigh, reaching for her bottle of shampoo. Trying to think positive, she gave herself a little pep talk as she lathered, rinsed, and repeated. He'll take you back...of course, he'll take you back, she told herself. If he loves you, he'll take you back, and isn't that the whole reason *you* are taking *him* back? Because you are so confident that he loves you and no one else? Feeling a little more encouraged, she stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel to dry herself off with. Wrapping it around her body, she walked over to the mirror and wiped the fog away, staring at her reflection. "You can do this, Buffy," she told herself aloud. "It's all gonna work out. It has to, right? 'Cause it's true love." After getting dressed, drying her hair, and putting on some makeup, Buffy trudged down the stairs slowly. The smell of breakfast wafted up to greet her, but it only served to make her feel even more nauseous than she already did. Continuing down the stairs and into the kitchen, she found her uncle and Riley sitting around the bar having breakfast. When she walked in, both men looked up at her, concern coloring their faces when they saw her. "Buffy, dear, all you alright?" Wesley asked in concern. "You look rather...well, rather green to say the least. Are you coming down with something?" "No, Uncle Wes, I'm fine," Buffy assured him. "I'm just a little tired is all." "Well, sit down, dear," Wesley said, standing up and pulling out a stool for her. "I'll get you some breakfast. Would you like some tea?" "No, no, I'm not really that hungry," Buffy said. Seeing his worried look, she quickly added, "I promise you, Uncle Wes, if something was wrong I would tell you. Riley, would you mind giving me a ride over to the Harris' after you finish your breakfast? I really don't want to walk over there in the rain." "Sure, Buff," Riley said agreeably. He still had no clue what had taken place between his sister, his best friend, and Angel. Riley liked to live in his own little world, one that pretty much revolved around Anya, and Buffy didn't want to ruin that for him. She just hadn't had the heart to tell him that his best friend was a dick head, and she had been afraid that if she mentioned what had happened between she and Angel, Riley would take it upon himself to beat the hell out of him. That was the absolute *last* thing Buffy wanted, so she decided to keep Riley in the dark...then all he had to worry about was keeping Anya happy and comforting her when her bizarre fear of bunnies kicked in. Her brother's girlfriend was a very strange individual. Shaking her head and smiling to herself, Buffy went into the living room to wait for her brother. She didn't have too long to wait though, because her brother generally inhaled his food when he ate, and five minutes later, he was standing beside her, ready to go. He handed her raincoat to her and shrugged into his own before grabbing his umbrella and opening the door. Buffy followed him out to the car and waited for him to unlock it. Climbing in beside Riley and buckling up, Buffy rode all the way to the Harris home in complete silence. It didn't escape her attention that Riley kept shooting worried glances in her direction, but she simply chose to ignore him and stare out the window. When they pulled up in the driveway, Buffy had the door open before the car even came to a complete halt. "Whoa, there Buffy. What's the big hurry? You almost because a human speed bump," Riley exclaimed, grabbing her arm to keep her from bailing out. "Sorry," she said, smiling sheepishly. "I just-" "Can't wait to see Mr. Tall, Dark and Broody?" Riley finished for her, raising his eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. Well anyway, thanks for the ride," she mumbled, grabbing her purse and climbing out of the car. "Oh and don't worry about picking me up. Angel can give me a ride home," she said, leaning back in to the car for a moment. I hope, she added silently to herself. Of course there is always the chance he will tell me to get lost, in which case I'll just walk home in the pouring rain. Slamming the door shut behind her and scampering up to the door to get out of the rain, Buffy turned and gave her brother a little wave, waiting for him to drive away. When he was gone, she took a deep breath and mustered all of her courage up before reaching out a shaky hand and ringing the doorbell. She waited impatiently for someone to open the door, tapping her foot nervously the whole time. She hoped and prayed that Angel opened the door because if it was anyone else and she had to wait, she might lose all of her nerve and run out the door screaming. Finally, after what seemed like nothing short of an eternity, she heard someone on the other side of the door, sliding the lock open. The door swung open, almost as if in slow motion, and then there he was. She couldn't help but gasp a little when she saw how gaunt and tired he looked. The were dark circles under his eyes, and it looked like he had lost more than a little weight since the last time she had seen him. Oh god, she thought to herself. I did this to him. Angel stared back at her for a long moment in silence, unsure of whether or not to believe that she was actually there, that it wasn't all just a dream. It had been so long since he'd had a good night's sleep that it was entirely possible she was just a beautiful blonde Buffy hallucination. Of course, there was also the possibility that she was real and had come here to yell at him some more and tell him what a sorry son of a bitch he was. Shrugging his shoulders, he stood there, waiting for her to say something. "Angel?" she said a little uncertainly. "Are you okay?" "I guess that depends," he said in a hoarse voice. "Are you real?" "Um, yeah." "Did you come here to yell at me?" "Oh, Angel," Buffy said sadly. "I didn't come to yell at you. I came to say that I'm sorry. Look, can I come in?" "Yeah, of course," he said, swinging the door open wider and stepping back. Buffy stepped inside out of the rain and wiped her feet on the rug in front of the door. Angel helped her shrug out of her raincoat and then they went into the living room together. Buffy sat down on the sofa while Angel took the recliner. He still wasn't sure whether or not she was actually real, but he was kind of lonely and an imaginary Buffy was better than no Buffy at all, so he sat there, an expectant look on his face. Buffy worried the hem of her skirt nervously, not quite sure how to begin. "Um, Angel, I want you to know that I really am sorry about being such a bitch lately," she began. "It's just that I was really hurt when I found out that you lied to me, and that combined with the shock of Darla's pregnancy was just too much. I was overwhelmed, and... Well that's really no excuse. I probably overreacted. I mean, I should have been there for you, even when we thought that the baby was yours. I just let my hurt feelings get in the way." She covered her face with her hands, not really sure how to go on. "God, this is so hard," she growled in frustration. Dropping her hands to her lap, a look of determination crossed her face. "Okay, look, this whole situation has been messy, but I have been thinking a lot about things, and here's what I have came up with. You lied to me. That not only hurt my feelings, but it broke my heart. I felt really betrayed, and I thought that I could never trust you again. The pregnancy thing only made things worse. I know it was hard on you too, but I couldn't think about what you were feeling then because I was too wrapped up in my own emotions. When we found out the baby wasn't yours, I was happy and relieved, but I was still hurt. I know your lies weren't major, but they *were* lies. I guess I just wasn't ready to forgive you yet. I still didn't feel like I could trust you." Angel just continued to sit there, taking in everything she said but still not saying a word. She looked at him in exasperation, wishing he would say *something* to help her out here, but it looked like she was on her own. "I don't know if you know this or not, but Xander came to me the yesterday and pleaded your case for you," she went on with a sigh. "He apologized to me for what he had done, and he told me that I should take you back. He said that you had changed and that you loved me. He told me a lot, but I just didn't want to listen. Xander is the last person I wanted in my face after what he had done. When Spike told me about the conversation you two had, though, it really made me think. He helped me realize that I love you and that you deserve a second chance. The truth is that we have both made some mistakes, and...well...if you are willing to forgive me, then I'm willing to forgive you." She took a moment to catch her breath from her almost nonstop rambling and looked at him hopefully. He looked at her carefully, standing slowly and walking over to her. Kneeling down in front of her, he looked her straight in the eye. "Are you real?" he asked her for the second time that day, tears shining in his eyes. "Is this really happening, or are you just another dream?" Buffy felt her heart clench. She couldn't believe how much he had been suffering, but it was quite obvious to her that he had been. Leaning forward, she looked deeply into his eyes. "I'm real, baby," she whispered softly before pressing her lips gently to his. ******************************************************* Angel's heart thumped wildly in his chest when he felt her soft lips press against his. She was real...she had to be real. God, he could feel her and she was so soft and warm...it couldn't be another dream. All of the things that he had heard her say...she had really said them! She wanted him back! Tears of joy streamed down his face as he leaned into the kiss, their saltiness mingling with the sweet taste of her lips. After a moment, he felt her pull back, and he couldn't repress his groan of disappointment. "Will you take me back?" she asked him seriously. He found himself at a complete loss for words. He couldn't believe that it was all real. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops...his Buffy wanted him back. He was so dumbfounded and overcome with joy that he didn't notice the way her face began to fall. His head and heart were big jumbles of emotions and thoughts, but finally it occurred to him that he still hadn't given her an answer. Shaking his head to clear, he looked at her solemnly. "Buffy, I-" Before he could even get his sentence out, she was up on her feet and out the door. He sat there for a moment, processing what had just happened. His brow was furrowed with confusion. What the hell just happened here? he wondered to himself. Unwillingly to just sit there and wonder, he jumped to his feet and followed after her, running out into the pouring rain. ******************************************************* Buffy lost herself for a moment in the feel of his lips against hers, a feeling that she hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing in a long time...to long. He felt so wonderful, tasted so wonderful, but she found herself pulling back unconsciously not long after the kiss had begun. Taking a deep breath, she tried to pull her senses together, mustering up her courage to ask him the question that was weighing on her mind. "Will you take me back?" she asked him seriously, holding her breath for his answer. After the kiss, she was feeling hopeful, but that soon began to fade as he just sat there, not saying a word. His face was a blank mask, his feelings unrecognizable. She wondered what he was thinking, but as the silence continued, she realized that her worst fears were coming true. Her heart sank as she realized that his silence *was* his answer...he didn't want her back. Tears began to fill her eyes as she watched him shake his head slowly, and it felt like her heart was breaking all over again. She knew he must be thinking about how to let her down easy. Finally, he began to speak, his brow furrowed. "Buffy, I-" She couldn't sit there and listen to him say it. She knew she had to get out of there right now or else she was going to break down in front of him, and that's the last thing she wanted to do. Jumping up from her seat on the couch, she ran out the door and into the rain, leaving her coat and umbrella behind in a desperate attempt to get away from his rejection. A sob tore from her throat as soon as she made it out the door, and she only got halfway down the driveway before she collapsed, falling to her knees and sobbing. She didn't expect for him to follow her, and so she was surprised when she felt strong arms wrap around her and lift her up to her feet. She looked up, her vision bleared with tears, to find Angel standing there, holding her tightly. "Buffy, what on earth is wrong with you?" he asked anxiously, his warm brown eyes filled with worry. "What the hell happened in there? Are you okay?" "You don't want me anymore!" she wailed miserably, ducking her head in shame. God, she was pathetic. She could have least saved her pride and retained a little dignity by just walking out like a mature adult, but no, not her. She had to have a complete breakdown in his driveway. "What are you talking about?" he asked in bewilderment. "What do you mean I don't want you? Of course I want you." "No," she said, shaking her head vigorously, her damp hair slapping against her face. "You are just saying that to make me feel better, but you don't really want me. I know you were just trying to find some way of letting me down easy. That's why you wouldn't answer me when I asked you if you would take me back." Angel's eyes widened in surprise. "Is that what you thought? Oh, baby," he said regretfully, pulling her tightly against him. "I'm so sorry that I made you think that. I was just so happy that I was...speechless." "R-really?" she sniffled, swiping at her nose with the back of her hand. "Really," he said sincerely, brushing her wet hair out of her face. "You have to forgive me, love, I haven't very much sleep since a beautiful little blonde broke my heart." "Yeah, I noticed you were kinda out of it when you kept asking me if I was real," she said with a smile. "Hey, don't blame me," Angel said, holding up his hands defensively. "You are all I dream about anymore, and since that night at the Bronze...well, let's just say that I wasn't expecting you to come here and ask me to take you back." "Angel?" "Hmmm?" "Can we go inside now? It's kinda wet out here," Buffy said, blinking away raindrops from her eyelashes. "Oh god! Um, yeah, of course," he said, wrapping his arm around her and guiding her back to the house. Once inside, Angel ran down the hall to one of the bathrooms to get towels. He wrapped one of them around Buffy's shoulders, running his hands up and down her arms to warm her up. "You're shaking like a leaf," he said, feeling her trembling beneath his hands. "Cold," she said simply, her teeth chattering. "Come upstairs with me, and I'll get you something to wear. I think we could both stand some dry clothes," he told her. Taking her hand, he led her up the stairs to his bedroom, where she sat on the bed while he rummaged around in his chest of drawers. Pulling out two t- shirts and two pairs of sweatpants, he handed one of each to her. "Put these on," he told her. "Then get under the covers, just to warm up." Buffy took the clothes from him and laid them down beside her on the bed. She looked up to see him just standing there, looking at her. She raised her eyebrows at him, giving him a pointed look. He blushed slightly in embarrassment. "Oh, right, you probably want me to...sorry," he said, turning his back to give her privacy. It felt so awkward, especially since they had been intimate together, but he guessed that they couldn't just rush back into things like nothing had ever happened. As she pulled her shirt off, her hair got tangled in her necklace, and she winced in pain as it pulled her hair. "What?" Angel asked in alarm. "Oh, um...it's okay. My hair is just caught in my necklace, and it pulled when I took off my shirt," she said awkwardly, trying to get her hair free. "Can I...lemme see," Angel said softly. "Okay," she whispered, clutching her shirt against her chest. Angel turned around and came to sit on the bed behind her, using long, nimble fingers to gently untangle her hair from the delicate gold chain around her neck. "There, I got it. You're fine," he told her, his voice a little husky. God, her skin is soft, he thought to himself as his hand inadvertently brushed her neck. She surprised him by leaning back against him, nuzzling against his cheek. "I almost let myself lose you for good," Buffy whispered softly. "I know," he said in a low, rumbling voice. "I almost lost you for good. We almost lost each other." Buffy let out a strangled little sob then, her slender shoulders shaking. "Angel..." she sniffled. "When I think I almost threw what we have away..." "Shhh," he whispered, tightening his arms around her. "I..." "You what?" she asked, shifting around so that she was looking at him. "I love you," he said simply. "When you said that it was over, I tried not to, but I couldn't stop." "M-me, too," she said with another sniffle. "I tried not to, but I couldn't stop." She looked up at him through her eyelashes, realizing that their faces were just inches apart. Leaning in a little, their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. She was surprised and more than a little disappointed when she felt Angel pull back. "Buffy, maybe we shouldn't..." he said hesitantly. He didn't want her to feel like he was pushing her into anything, especially since they had just gotten back together. "Shh," she whispered, placing a finger over his lips. Her eyes were a deep mossy green, sparkling softly in the dim light of his bedroom. "Just kiss me." And he did, and he felt like his heart might burst with happiness, his cock with lust. Gently, he lowered her back onto his bed, peppering feathery kisses all over her gorgeous face. The nice dry clothes were forgotten as their wet clothes were stripped away, their bodies warmed by loving kisses and caresses. Buffy felt like her body was on fire as Angel kissed his way up and down it, worshiping every square inch of her from head to toe. Finally, he settled in between her legs, burying his face in her femininity, probing her most intimate places with his tongue, lashing at her clit mercilessly until she came with a loud shriek, drenching his mouth and chin with her sweet essence. Moving back up her body, he couldn't help but smile at her flushed face and glazed eyes. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life, both inside and outside, and she was all his. Buffy reached one of her tiny hands between them, stroking his already hard shaft, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her. She looked at him questioningly but he just shook his head and smiled. "No, my love," he whispered to her. "This is all for you." Using his knees to nudge her legs open wider, he positioned himself at her entrance and entered her slowly, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head. So wet, he thought to himself. So tight and warm. He began to move inside of her the, in and out, rotating his hips in a circular motion every now and again just to hear her gasp. Her legs were wrapped tightly around him as she met him thrust for thrust, and he groaned in pleasure as she raked her blunt fingernails down his back. "Angel," she whispered urgently as she felt her orgasm begin to overtake her. "Love you." "Mmmm, love...gahhhh...love you, too," he managed to get out before he lost all ability to perform speech. White-hot pleasure shot through his body as he joined his lover in orgasm, her vaginal muscles clenching around him, milking him of every last drop of fluid. Collapsing on top of her, his face buried in her neck, he laid there panting, stroking her hair mindlessly with one hand. "That was...wow," Buffy breathed, lying there limply. "You were amazing." "Mmmmhhhhmmmfff," he mumbled into her neck, his words muffled beyond recognition. "Excuse me?" she said in a playful tone. "What was that?" "I *said* I'm so happy to have you back," he said, raising his head to look at her. "Well, I'm so happy to be back," Buffy told him, kissing him on the forehead. "There's nowhere else I'd want to be." Chapter 20 Buffy raced down the stairs as soon as she heard the doorbell ring. She couldn't wait to see Angel. After yesterday's reunion, she felt like her heart might burst with happiness...and it was all thanks to him. Today was going to be a great day, she just knew it. The weather had cleared since yesterday, and Buffy was grateful because all of that humidity had made her hair go crazy. Tonight, she wanted to look absolutely perfect. Tonight, she, Angel, Faith, and Spike were all going to the Bronze together for their first double date. She felt butterflies fluttering around in her stomach at the thought. This would be the first time that her friends and lover would have a chance to really interact, to sit down and get to know each other. She was just keeping her fingers crossed that it would go well. Flinging open the door with a big smile, she was surprised to see Faith standing on the other side. "Faith...uh, hi," she said uncertainly. "Hey, B," Faith said cheerfully. "Can I come in or what?" "Oh, sure," Buffy said quickly. "Come on in. Sorry for just leaving you standing there. I was kind of-" "Expecting Angel, yeah, I know," Faith finished for her. "I know that Spike and I were supposed to meet you two at the Bronze, but Spike decided that it would be a good idea for he and Angel to meet us instead. You know, gives 'em a little bonding time. Anyway, looks like I'm your escort for the night, and just so you know, I *do* kiss on the first date, but don't get your hopes up," Faith said with a smirk. "I'll try my best," Buffy said with a small smile. "I just wonder if the boys bonding alone is such a good idea..." "It'll be fine," Faith said dismissively. "I mean, they already have stuff in common, right? They both adore you, and they both go to the same college. It'll be great. Besides, it's not like they haven't talked before, right? And we didn't just spring this on Angel, either. I called ahead to make sure it was okay." "And why didn't anyone call me?" Buffy wanted to know, feeling slightly left out and bordering on being offended. "Because you, Ms. Twinkie, are a party pooper," Faith said teasingly. "I told the guys you'd be all worried so that we should just do it and not tell ya." "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," Buffy said dryly. "No problem, B," Faith said with a grin. "So come on already, let's get you dressed." "Faith, I *am* dressed," Buffy said with a sigh, knowing what was coming. "This is what I'm wearing." A look of horror crossed Faith's face as she took in Buffy's simple pair of black cotton pants and white tank top. "Nuh-uh...for real? Oh, B, you can't wear *that*," Faith told her, shaking her head. "Come on, we have to find you something sexy to wear right now, or we'll be late meeting the guys." "But...but...but," Buffy stammered, but Faith was already pulling her up the stairs to her room. Flopping down on her bed with a sigh, Buffy watched as Faith flung open the door to her closet and began rummaging around. "So, go on, tell me all about it," Faith said as she riffled through Buffy's wardrobe. "All about the hot, kinky make up sex," Faith said with a big grin. Buffy blushed deeply, her face suddenly hot as she stared down at her lap. "It was that good, huh?" Faith said knowingly, giving Buffy a huge smile. "Way to go, B!" Oh Lord, Buffy prayed silently, squeezing her eyes shut and laying back on the bed, please let this night get better. Please, please, let the guys get here soon so I don't have to endure Faith by myself. "So how are things between Angel and Xander now?" Faith asked curiously. "Did they kiss and make up or do they still hate each other's guts?" "It's kinda hard to say," Buffy told her. "I mean, Xander has been trying to make up for what he did, but it's going to take a long time for Angel to be able to forgive him for it. I think right now they are on speaking terms, but barely. I don't know...it's all a big mess." "And what about you? If we ran into Xander tonight, how would you react?" Faith asked. "Honestly? I don't know. I mean, the last words I spoke to him were pretty harsh, and the last words he said to me were possibly even harsher. We haven't spoken since that day in the hallway. I honestly don't know what I would say to him. Thankfully, I don't think we are gonna have to worry about running into him tonight, though." "Really? Why is that?" Faith asked, pulling out some shiny tank top and holding it up for examination. "Well, my friend Willow told me that Xander has been eyeing her lately, and she's always had a huge crush on him. She called me awhile ago and told me that he finally broke down and asked her out to the movies tonight," she explained. "Willow? Brainy little redhead who wears those cutesy little fuzzy sweaters and jumpers all the time?" Faith asked. "That's the one," Buffy replied. "Also known as my cover story for any night that I want to stay over at Angel's." "B, you are such a slut!" Faith said with a laugh. "Okay, so if this chick is your friend, why the hell are you letting her go out with Xander? Did you tell him the horror stories? Did you tell him that he was an insane stalker, an awful dancer, not to mention lousy in bed?" "I told her all of it, but she has to find things out for herself," Buffy said with a sigh. Suddenly, she seemed to digest the last part of Faith's sentence, looking up at the dark haired girl with wide eyes. "Wait a minute! Lousy in bed? You *slept* with him?" Faith shrugged casually. "Come on, B, you know I'm a big ho," she said with a chuckle. "I don't know why you sound so surprised." "Does Spike know?" "Don't know," Faith said with another shrug. "Why do you ask?" "Well, it's just that Spike's pretty possessive..." "Yeah, so? Look, I don't know if he knows about Xander and I or not, but if he does, let's be honest. I don't think anyone is gonna mind him kicking the shit out of Xander...'cept maybe Xander," Faith pointed out. "Faith, you're evil!" Buffy said, unable to stop the smile that crept its way across her face. "Yeah, I know," Faith said with an accepting sigh. "It's a curse...just like my uber hot bod and my charming personality," she quipped. "Now move your ass already. Put these clothes on." Buffy caught the clothes that Faith tossed her way, regarding the brunette with wide eyes when she saw the selection Faith had made for her. "No way, Faith...nuh-uh." ******************************************************* When Angel's doorbell rang, Angel couldn't help but grimace a little. He really was beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea. Sure, Spike seemed like an alright guy, but it was just a little awkward. Even though he knew that there hadn't been anything really going on between Buffy and Spike, some small part of him still believed that there had. It felt like he was hanging out with his girlfriend's ex- boyfriend, and it was just too bizarre. Still, when he opened the door and found Spike on the other side, he managed to muster a small smile. "Hey, Spike, how are you?" Angel asked politely. "Pretty well I suppose," Spike replied. "And yourself?" "Great," Angel said with fake enthusiasm. "Just let me get my coat, and we can be on our way." "Actually, there is something I sort of wanted to talk to you about before we go, mate," Spike said, pushing past Angel and walking into the foyer as if he owned the place. "Is there some place here we can talk?" "Uh, yeah, we can talk in the living room," Angel said, taken off guard by Spike's actions. "No one is here but Xander and I, so we pretty much have the place to ourselves." "Ah, yes, Xander," Spike said with a small smile. I'll deal with that whelp later, he thought to himself as he sat down on the sofa, making himself at home. Angel sat down across from him on the loveseat, an uncomfortable look on his face. "So, uh, what did you want to talk about?" "Buffy...what else?" Spike said, raising an eyebrow. "Look, mate, I'm gonna be straightforward with you here. I couldn't be happier that you and Buffy are back together. In fact, I can't help but feel a little responsible for it, and it makes me proud that I could help her. See, when Buffy's happy, I'm happy." "Yeah, she told me that you talked to her, that you made her realize that I really had changed. I didn't get a chance to thank you for that, but I'm going to now. Thanks, Spike," Angel said sincerely. "I can never repay you for the favor that you have done for me." "Let's be clear here," Spike told him. "I did it for *her*, not you. Truth is, I don't even really know you, but I can tell how much you care about her, and that makes you all right in my book. The thing is, I kinda feel like I need to warn you." "Warn me?" Angel asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. "You heard me," Spike said seriously. "I understand that not all of what happened last time was your fault, but I feel like I should make it perfectly clear to you right now that if you ever hurt her again, on purpose or not, I will come after you. I will come after you, and I *will* find you, and when I do I will beat you until you are within a bloody inch of your life. Do we understand one another?" he asked, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. Angel stared at him in shock. He couldn't believe that this guy was actually coming in here and threatening him. Angel was probably about twice his size, but there was something Spike's eyes that made Angel shudder. He had no doubt that what the blonde was telling was true and that he could back it up if he needed to. "Yeah, I got it," Angel said softly. "I give you my word right now, Spike...I'll never hurt her again." "Well, that's good," Spike said with a smile. "I kinda like ya, mate, and I'd hate to have to rip you a part. Just lookin' out for the lil' lady, you understand? Have to do the big brother thing since her own brother is such a ponce." "I understand," Angel said with a smile. He should have been put off with the way Spike had waltzed in here and threatened him, but for some reason he wasn't. He actually felt glad knowing that Buffy had someone like him that cared so much for her and wanted to protect her. "Great. Friends then?" Spike asked, offering his hand to Angel in friendship. "Absolutely," Angel replied, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. "So are we ready to go?" "Oh, uh, well actually, didn't you say that the whelp..er, I mean, your brother was home?" Spike asked, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Uh, yeah, he's upstairs in his room," Angel said, a note of confusion in his voice. "Why do you ask?" "Well, I've never actually gotten to meet him so that I thought I'd go introduce myself," Spike said innocently. "That alright with you?" Angel shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, even though deep down he suspected that there was more to it than that. "Sure thing," he said, fighting back the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Right up the stairs, first door on the left." "Terrific. Thanks, mate," Spike said with a smile, slapping Angel on the back. "I'll just be a moment." Spike mounted the stairs, taking them two at a time until he made it to the second floor. Turning immediately to his left, he strode down the hall, coming to a stop outside of the first door he came to. Must be it, he thought to himself as he knocked on the door. "Just a second," he heard a male voice call. After a few moments, the door swung open and Spike found himself face to face with Xander. The brunette's eyes widened in uncertainty and perhaps the slightest bit of terror when he saw the man standing in the hallway. "Um, can I h- help you?" Xander stammered. "The name's Spike, mate, though I'd wager you already know who I am," Spike said in a cold voice. "Buffy's ex-boyfriend, right?" Xander asked. Spike smirked. Apparently no one had bothered to set the record straight with this one. "I guess you could say that, yeah," Spike said, crossing his arms across his chest. "Join the club," Xander muttered. "What was that?" Spike asked, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. "N-nothing," Xander said, unconsciously taking a step back. "Um, what did you say you wanted?" "Well, I wanted to tell you that it was a fine thing you did, trying to get your brother and Buffy back together," Spike began. "I know it sounds odd coming from her...er, ex-boyfriend and all, but I know it's for the best. She's happy now, and that's all the matters." "Yeah, well..." "So I just wanted to say thanks for that," Spike said, turning to walk away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Xander begin to shut the door. He stopped then, turning back to face Xander. "Oh there was one other thing," Spike said, as if it were an after thought. "Yeah?" "Well, I also heard about what you did to break them up in the first place and about the things you said the other day to Buffy in the hall," Spike said. "So I also felt like I owed you something for that." Drawing back his fist, he landed a punch squarely on Xander's jaw before the boy even knew what was happening. As Xander laid on the ground, holding his jaw and looking up at Spike in shock, Spike simply smirked down at him. "Right then. You have a good night," Spike said cheerfully, giving him a little wave before disappearing down the hall. When he made it back downstairs, Angel was looking at him with a bemused expression on his face. "So did you, uh, introduce yourself?" Angel asked in a knowing tone. "Oh yeah," Spike replied. "Right nice fellow, he is. Think I made quite the impression on him actually. Yep, don't think he'll be forgetting me any time soon." "I bet not," Angel said with a smirk. "So, what do you say we get going now? We don't want to keep the ladies waiting right?" "You don't know the half of it, mate," Spike said with a sigh, thinking of the sexy brunette wildcat that would be waiting for him at the Bronze. She didn't like to be kept waiting at all. ******************************************************* When Angel and Spike walked into the Bronze, Angel's jaw immediately hit the floor. He saw Buffy and Faith out on the dance floor putting on quite the show, and she was wearing...she was wearing... "What the hell is she wearing?" he asked in disbelief. He hadn't even known she *owned* clothes like that. "The first words that come to mind are 'not much' if you wanna know," Spike said bluntly. "I'm sure that this is Faith's doing." "Yeah, well it looks like some of those guys out there are getting a little too friendly with our girls," Angel said in what was almost a growl. "Think we should do something about that?" "Sounds like a plan," Spike agreed with a curt nod. Both men stalked out onto the dance floor, each grabbing their respective girlfriend and dragging her off the dance floor. "Hey, look, B, somewhere between Angel's house and the Bronze, our boyfriends turned into cavemen," Faith said, narrowing her eyes at Spike. "What's the big problem, guys? We were just having a little fun." "Yeah well it looked like those guys out there dancing with ya were have more than a little fun," Spike growled, taking the opportunity to nip lightly at Faith's neck. "Aww, do I sense some jealousy?" Faith asked, closing her eyes and thrusting back against Spike. "Good god, you two, get a room," Buffy said, blushing slightly at their display. "Come on, Angel, what do you say we go dance and give these two lust bunnies some privacy?" He gave her a little nod of agreement, smiling his sexy trademark half smile, and let her lead him out onto the dance floor where a slow song was just cuing up. "So, uh, nice outfit," he said, trying to keep his tone light as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. //The loneliness of nights alone the search for strength to carry on my every hope has seemed to die my eyes had no more tears to cry then like the sun shining up above you surrounded me with your endless love Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me// Buffy looked down at her outfit as if she had just remembered what she was wearing and blushed brightly. "Uh, yeah, well this was Faith's doing. I mean, before she came over, I swear I had decent clothes on. Actually, if she'd had her way completely, I'd be wearing a lot less than this, but we managed to compromise," she said. "The skirt and the shoes? Her idea," Buffy said, referring to the black leather miniskirt and knee high black boots that she was wearing. "I managed to pick out the shirt though." The shirt actually looked like something she would wear, a three quarter length shirt made out of some kind of shiny, stretchy material that was a peacock blue color. "Well, I think you look lovely if not a little..." "Slutty?" she suggested. "I was gonna say sexy," he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "Mmmm, I love this song," he said, listening to the sweet, soft words that were playing from the speakers. There was no live band tonight, and he was glad. Somehow the atmosphere seemed more intimate tonight. //You are my everything Nothing your love won't bring My life is yours alone The only love I've ever known Your spirit pulls me through When nothing else will do Every night I pray On bended knee That you will always be My everything// "You do?" she asked in surprise. "I didn't know you were a boy band fan." "I'm not," he said defensively. "But this song...it makes me think of you. It's like it expresses my feelings for you perfectly." "Oh, Angel," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I love you so much." "And I love you, Buffy," he said softly. "There's something that I want to ask you. I hope that it's okay." "Of course," she told him, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently, losing herself in his warm brown eyes. "You can ask me anything." //Now all my hopes and all my dreams are suddenly reality you've opened up my heart to feel a kind of love that's truly real a guiding light that'll never fade there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade for the love you give it won't let go I hope you'll always know// He took a deep breath and pulled away from her, taking on of her hands in his. "Buffy, I love you so much," he began in a voice hoarse with emotions. "I have never, will never love anyone the way I love you. I know it sounds corny, but you complete me. I know that I've made some mistakes, and God knows I don't deserve you, but here you are with me anyway...my perfect angel. I know that we're young and still have a lot of living to do, but I know without a doubt that I want to do it with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Buffy," he said, sinking down to one knee. Her eyes widened as she realized what was happening, and her heart began to thunder in her chest. The music kept playing but the other couples on the dance floor had stopped swaying to the melody to watch. Throughout the entire Bronze, all eyes were glued to Buffy and Angel. "Buffy, will you make me the happiest man in the world and agree to be my wife?" he asked softly, producing a shining diamond ring from his pocket. //You are my everything Nothing your love won't bring My life is yours alone The only love I've ever known Your spirit pulls me through When nothing else will do Every night I pray On bended knee That you will always be My everything// "Oh my god," Faith said under her breath. "Holy shit, he's proposing to her!" "Yeah, I noticed," Spike said in annoyance. "Now pipe down so we can hear what she says." Buffy was completely stunned. She looked from Angel's face to the ring, and then back again, tears filling her eyes. "Angel, I don't know what to say..." "Say yes, Buffy," he pleaded with her. "I know that we are both still in school, and it will probably be awhile before we can get married, but I know right *now* that it's what I want. Do you want it, too?" //You're the breath of life in me the only one that sets me free and you have made my soul complete for all time (for all time)// "Y-yes," she whispered softly. "Yes...yes..oh, yes, Angel, I'll marry you!" she said louder this time, pulling him up to his feet and wrapping her arms around his neck. "There's nothing I want more." The entire Bronze burst into applause then as the happy couple held each other tightly on the dance floor. "I love you, Buffy, so much," Angel told her, tears of joy filling his own eyes. "And I love you," she said, drawing his head down for a long, passionate kiss. //Every night I pray down on bended knee that you will always be my everything oh my everything// The End ******************************************************* THE CHALLENGE AU: Title: your choice Rating: PG-13-R-NC-17 Summary: Angelus Harris (25) and his younger brother Alexander (a.k.a. Xander, 17) just moved to L.A. with their family. Their father is in the military so they move around a lot. Now it seems L.A. might be the new and also permanent home for the Harris family. Alexander immediately starts his senior year at his new school, Hemery High, guess who he meets. Yup he meets a beautiful, popular, and smart 17- year-old girl named Buffy Ann Summers. He immediately falls for the princess of Hemery. Though will she feel the same for him? And If she does, what happens when she meets his sexy, older brother?.... Must Haves: -must have at least one part about how Buffy and Xander met/their relationship(you can write more than one part about it, if you would like to) -Buffy's circle of friends are; Anya Jenkins, Cordelia Chase, Faith Evans, Daniel 'Oz' Osbourn, Charles Gunn and Riley Summers (ha, I'm making him he brother so there can be NO B/R gross couple-y ness here, hehe) -Buffy when she first meets Xander likes him, and they start going out, though after they have been going out for a month(or more), before she meets Angelus, Xander and Buffy decide they are better as friends….well mostly Buffy decides and Xander pretends to agree with her. -after that she meets his brother(Angelus) who has been New York on an art buying trip(he works for a art gallery, and he paints also), and when she does she starts falling for him. -Buffy is popular but not stuck-up and bitchy(well sometimes she can be) -Xander isn't as dorky as he is on the show, he's funny but he can also be mature -Angelus, tall, dark, mysterious, kind of a playboy, but he doesn't do it to hurt anyone, he just doesn't want a commitment at the time..hmm, maybe it will change with Buffy....? -Buffy lives in a big fancy house with her twin brother Riley, they pretty much live in the big house by themselves, except for their uncle Wesley Wyndam-Prince who stays with them since their parents travel a lot and are not around a lot.(you can change the reason why they are gone) -Xander getting mad at Angelus when he asks Buffy out Some of: -Buffy getting her belly button pierced -Xander falling asleep in class and drooling -the movie American Pie -a line from Romeo and Juliet -Buffy talking to someone online about what she thinks about Angelus (ooh could it be angelus himself or maybe Xander..??) -a sapphire and emerald claddaugh -a dozen red and pink roses -a couple making out in a pool and getting caught by someone unexpected -smut(please) either between B/X or B/A or hell even both, whoever (lol) Couples: Buffy/Xander, Buffy/Angelus, Riley/Anya, Cordelia/Gunn, Faith/random people, Oz/?