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Season 3 - 21 Aired Episodes & 1 Unaired Episode



References are links to The Family Guy Reference Archives
Moments

References
301 - The Thin White Line
Brian's therapist suggests that he try to do some voluteer work to make his life more meaningful. After some dead ends, Joe offers to put Brian's super nose to good use as a drug sniffing dog. After some amazing busts, Brian gets hooked on cocaine. The problem becomes serious, and the Griffins cancel the free vacation they won at the company picnic to get Brian into rehab. However, the rehab place is so cooshy that Peter fakes addiction to get in as well. This gets Brian into trouble, making him realize that maybe he needs some time away from Peter. He leaves the family....
Moments

References
302 - Brian Does Hollywood
.....to find himself in Los Angeles (after a cool intro). After they recieve a letter from Brian, the Griffins decide to audition Stewie for Kids Say the Dardest Things so they can get a free trip to L.A. It works. However, Brian has lied to the Griffins about his success in L.A. So Brian's cousin Jasper hooks him up with a directing gig.....directing porn. Brian is really ashamed of this, so he blows off his family. However, in the end he realizes all that is missing in his life is the Griffins. Brian does win a Woody for his troubles.
Moments

References
303 - Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
Happy-Go-Lucky Toys gets bought out by a global conglomerate, the El Dorado Cigarette Company. Everything seems too good to be true, as working conditions improve and everyone gets raises. However, they start to make toys that influence kids to smoke. When Peter complains about this, the Board decides to soften him up by making him company "president". In fact, they send Peter to Washington as a tobacco lobbyist...."a moron" the politicians can relate to. The Griffin family is getting all the perks, and no one cares, until Stewie starts smoking. Peter's arguments of "C'mon!" no longer work, and El Dorado gets fined by Congress into bankrupcy.
Moments

References
304 - One if by Clam, Two if by Sea
After a hurricane, the guys' favorite bar, The Drunken Clam, gets sold to someone (Nigel) who turns it into a British pub. They can't handle not having their bar, so they try to take over the bar...until the Brits use their "superior linguistic skills" to convince them to leave. The guys then get drunk tea party style....and wake up to find the bar has been burned down. Immediately Peter and the gang are arrested and put in Jail. Meanwhile, the double-talking Nigel relentlessly pursues Lois, and Stewie desperately tries to get rid of Nigel's daughter's cockney accent. Eventually Lois and the wives get Nigel to confess he burned down the bar for insurance money...which was punished by hanging.
Moments

References
305 - And The Wiener Is
Peter still thinks he better than his son at everything...until he sees Chris's giant manhood in the gym locker room. This makes Peter feel very inadequate, so he buys a large rifle and joins the "NGA". He then takes Chris on a hunting trip, where they almost get attacked by a bear...until Chris the man scares them away. Meanwhile, Meg wants to be cool in school, so she joins the flag squad. However, this has the opposite effect, as the cheerleaders make even more fun of her. Meg tries to be nice, but Lois hatches a revenge plan for her daughter against the cheerleaders. The cheerleaders pretend to be nice to Meg, until they humiliate her once again at a party, just like her mom said they would.
Moments

References
306 - Death Lives
Peter wants to ditch Lois to play golf on the morning of their anniversary. To hide his indiscretion, Peter devises a scavenger hunt to keep her occupied. However, on the rainy golf course Peter gets struck by lightning, and Death (Adam Carolla) is there to show him the error of his ways when it comes to his treatment of Lois. The tables soon turn when Death's mom makes fun of him for not having a girl, and Peter offers to help him ask the pet store girl out. With many flashbacks (including how Peter meet Quagmire and Cleveland), Peter finds the error in his own ways and helps Death get confidence to ask the girl out...who turns out to be an animal loving hippie anyway. Lois's scavenger hunt ends with Peter and a live performance by Peter Frampton.
Moments

References
307 - Lethal Weapons
The "leafers" invade from New York, and Quahog's peaceful life is temporarily shot to hell. They invade everything: the church, the bar., etc. Eventually, Peter gets into a fight with one of them...until Lois comes to the rescue with her newly-learned Tae-Jitsu skills. At first she is apprehensive, but soon she becomes very aggressive towards everything. Everything. Stewie becomes agressive too, and the family decides to go to counselling. However, that doesn't work. The only thing that fixes the situation is some good ol' fashioned family violence to get it out of their system.
Moments

References
308 - The Kiss Seen Round the World
Meg notices an ad to be an intern at Channel 5 News. She sees this as a perfect oprotunity to meet her crush, Tom Tucker. She immediately gets the job, but finds out her partner intern will be....Neil Goldman. Of course Tom and Diane treat them like crap, and Meg and Neil end up covering a rooftop shooter incident where they are almost the victims. Thinking they are about to die, Meg kisses Neil. Bad move. The next day Neil puts it all over the news, Meg is a laughing stock, and the parents assume too much. Meg publicly expresses her hate for Neil, but this makes him fake jumping off of City Hall. In the end Meg realizes Neil isn't so horrible, but Tom Tucker is. Meanwhile, Stewie figures out how to deal with a bully who steals his trikey.
Moments

References
309 - Mr. Saturday Knight
Frustrated by his low-level job, Peter tries to impress Mr. Weed by having him over to dinner with the family. However, there he chokes on a piece of Brian's roll and dies...right after he promoted Peter. Unfortunately, Mr. Weed's video will said that the toy factory will be torn down to build a terminal disease clinic. Out of a job, Peter is free to pursue his dream of being...a Renaissance Faire jouster. It was his dream ever since the Black Knight (Will Ferrel) saved him when he was 18. Peter becomes a knight, but quits after the Black Knight threatens him. Nevertheless, Peter challenges the Black Knight at the jousting contest...and wins with a little help from a yellow Hyundai being towed.
Moments

References
310 - A Fish Out of Water
Depressed and ridiculously overweight since being unemployed, Peter gets a spark of inspiration and decides to pursue a New England Man's job: a fisherman. He takes out a $50k loan to buy a boat, and he is on his way. Meanwhile, Lois takes Meg on a spa vacation to get her mind off of Spring Break. However, Meg is still depressed, so Lois does her one better and actually drives her down to Spring Break. Lois seems to have way more fun than Meg, but in the end Meg loosens up enough to enjoy herself. Back at home, the "bank" is foreclosing on Peter's loan, and he needs to do something quick....like catch Daggermouth the fish for the $50k reward. Peter finds it...and finds out it is a robot, but gets $50k anyway to keep his mouth shut.
Moments

References
311 - Emission Impossible
After witnessing Lois's sister Carol give birth, Peter and Lois decide they want to have another baby. Stewie is less than thrilled at the prospect, and he decides he must prevent conception. He tries everything, even a Peter robot, but he is forced to go to drastic measures. So Stewie gets into an airship he built, shinks himself down in size and flies into Peter's body to destroy all his sperm. Ala Star Wars, he goes in shooting, but he meets his match in a pesky sperm who he would be glad to call his brother....and who also hates Lois. However, in the end Lois and Peter decide not to have a baby...and Stewie's future brother will have to wait to be born another day.
Moments

References
312 - To Live and Die in Dixie
Chris gets a paper route so that he can buy a birthday gift for a girl at school. However, while on that route he witnesses a convenience store robbery, and he is able to ID the thief. However, the thief escapes prison, and the Griffins have to go on the witness protection program...in the Deep South. There, Peter and Brian are busy being the Dukes of Hazard, Meg feels super cool at school, and Chris makes a new friend, Sam. Cam and Chris get really close, then Chris finds out Sam is actually a girl. But that's not his real problem, as the criminal has found out where Chris is, and he's out to kill him. But the townspeople save the day, and the Griffins go back North missing the South.
Moments

References
313 - Screwed the Pooch
The Griffins get invited up to Lois's parents mansion for the weekend. Peter tries to culture himself before the trip, but no success. Also, Brian joins them for the relazing weekend, as he is feeling sexually frustrated lately. There, Peter get's on his dad-in-law's good side by impressing Bill Gates and Michael Eisner. However, it all comes to an end when Brian can't control himself, and he jumps on Mr. Pewterschidt's prizewinning dog during a race and impregnates her. In court, Brian is allowed custody for his future puppies, on the condition that he be neutered. However, it's not necessary, because it turns out the puppies were fathered by...Ted Turner.
Moments

References
314 - Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?
Frustrated by Chris's recent affinity for street talk, Peter decides to teach his son all about his Irish heritage. They find the Griffin family geneology at the library, but Peter finds out his ancestor was actually a black slave, Nate Griffin. Peter starts hanging around black people, and he decides he wants reparations from Nate Griffin's slavemasters, who turn out to be Lois's ancestors. The Pewterschidmt's give Peter $20,000, which he blows by turning the den into PeeWee's playhouse. This makes him an outcast with both blacks and whites, until he finally decides to share the money with everyone. Meanwhile, Stewie's plan to use the cheerleaders' crowd influence as a domination tool fails as usual.
Moments

References
315 - Ready, Willing, and Disabled
The Griffin family puts on a car wash and raises enough money for a kid in an iron lung. A thief in a Jimmy Carter mask steals the money, and Joe goes after him. Joe gets the money but is too tired to get the thief. Joe becomes depressed, but Peter convinces him to compete in the Special People's Games. Meanwhile, the Griffin kids debate ownership of a money clip they found. Joe ends up winning the Games, thanks to Peter slipping him some steroids. However, jealous of Joe's instant fame, Peter reveals to everyone what happened. Joe is once again depressed, until he nabs the theif from before...who happened to be the owner of the money clip.
Moments

References
316 - A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
Tis the Season, and it's hard for Lois to get Peter to do anything, especially since he loves Christmas specials so much. To make things worse, he does take Joe and buddies out for a drunken night on the town....and mistakenly gives All the Griffin's presents to Toys for Tots. Lois and Peter have to go shopping again, and in the meantime the living room burns down and the roast is ruined. Lois flips out, and she goes on a rampage. She is eventually brought back down to earth by the beauty of the Christmas pageant...and a tranquilizer dart.
317 - Brian Wallows and Peter Swallows
318 - From Method to Madness
319 - Stuck Together, Torn Apart
320 - European Road Show
321 - Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
   
Unaired - When You Wish Upon a Weinstein




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