Back to your heart (Ashley's Perspective)
"Now boarding! Flight 1528 to
Orlando. All passengers seated in first
class or in coach, rows 1-10 may now board."
I
shuffled around in my carryon for my boarding pass. I still can't believe they
got me first class…I thought as I pulled out my pass and headed towards the
line forming outside the terminal. As if on cue, my cell phone rang.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey babe! You excited yet?" AJ's
familiar and cheerful voice made me smile.
"Oh, yeah," I replied
sarcastically. "I can't wait to see my ex after 3 years of not talking to
him. What do you think, Al?!?"
"Well you should be! I know he
is!"
Doubtful…I
thought.
"Nice try…I still don't know how you
talked me into this."
"I gave you a guilt trip remember? 'Aww
Ash! I miss you! I haven't seen you since I was in town last August'…and plus
you want to see Lindsay. You haven't seen her in a while either."
I drifted off in thought at the mention of
her name. We were still really close, but since I go to Berkley in California,
and she goes to BU in Boston, we don't see each other much.
"Well, OK. You got me. I am excited to
see her at least." I said jokingly.
"Haha! I miss you too!" He
answered dryly.
Suddenly I realized that I was at the front of
the line. I handed my pass to the gate attendant who then signaled for me to
turn off my cell phone. She pointed to a sign that read, "Absolutely no
portable TV's or cell phones allowed in use beyond this point."
"Oh! Listen Al, I got to go, but don't
forget to pick me up at the airport in a few hours, k?"
"No prob, babe! Oh, and Ash? No
worries, k? Everything will be fine!"
"You know me too well! See ya in a few!
Ciao!"
I
hung up the phone and let out a sigh. In a few hours I would be reunited with
Lindsay, AJ, and…Nick.
***
"We will be arriving in Orlando
shortly. The current weather is 92°, current time, 11:23 am…"
The sudden announcement woke me from my
sleep. I hadn't slept the night before, so the sheer exhaustion had finally
taken over. One thing had stayed on my mind for the past few days, and no
matter how hard I tried…I couldn't get the song out of my head:
Where can we go from here?
All I know is that I love you still.
Sometimes we do things against our will.
I know I cry a lonely tear,
But where can we go from here?
Even though we broke up, I still bought BSB
merchandise. I knew every word to their first album, and was currently wearing
out their latest disc, Millennium. I clicked off my MP3 player, silently
cursing myself for downloading "Where can we go from here." I
struggled to retrieve my backpack from under the seat in front of me, the last
words to the song still echoing through my head:
"Tell me where can I go to get away
from the pain of loving you…"
I walked slowly down the terminal, not
exactly looking forward to the reality that I would have to face Nick again.
However, my melancholy attitude instantly changed when I saw who was waiting
for me at the gate.
"Babe!" He yelled.
"Hey Al!" I yelled back, throwing my
arms around him.
"Did you have a good flight?" he
said releasing me.
"Yeah! Those first class seats are so
nice!" He reached down and grabbed my backpack, and lead the way to the
baggage claim. "You should've heard the women next to me though when she was
given the wrong breakfast…"
***5:00 pm***
AJ had left after making sure I was situated
in my hotel room. I was going to meet Lindsay in a few hours. I was in the
process of deciding on what to wear. I was currently sporting a black skirt,
and I bright red tank top. Maybe I should wear my brown skirt with the
matching top? I was examining my outfit from a zillion different angles in
the mirror, when I heard a knock on the door.
"Hey Kev!" I said ushering him
inside.
"Hey Ash!" He said with a broad
smile. "Actually I can't stay long, I have to head to the arena, but here
are the tickets and passes. I was gonna give them to Linds, but she's
sleeping…"
"Oh, so you don't trust me
enough to give them to me?" I said, straight-faced.
"No, that's not it…it's just…"
"Kevy, I was just kidding!" I
replied laughing at his sad attempt to cover up. "Get going! You don't
want to disappoint your adoring public!" I began leading him out the door.
"Thanks Ash." He said giving me a
quick hug. "By the way, you look great!"
He
shut the door, and I let out a sigh of relief. Ok, this outfit it is…no what
about my hair ?!?
***Later that night, around 6:30 pm***
"No! No! That's all wrong!" I
said, frustrated.
I pulled the bobby pins out of the up twist
that had taken twenty minutes to perfect. I decided it looked too formal for a
concert. I pulled my now tangled hair into a ponytail, examined it critically
and decided that it made me look too childish. A messy bun maybe? I
thought to myself.
"Why do I have to care so much?!?"
I yelled at my reflection. Maybe because you still care about him? I
angrily pushed the thought out of my mind, put my hair up quickly, and answered
the persistant knock on the door.
"Hey Linds! It's great to see you? Are you nervose?" I greeted her.
"Yeah, just a tad!" She replied
sarcastically.
I then began to run by her my plan. We
would leave late so that we would make
it to the concert arena right as the
show starts and then we wouldn't have to go backstage…but being the
responsible girl that she is…she convinced me that we should show up on time.
The limo ride to the arena was a silent one.
I kept playing scenarios through my head…possible things that could happen when
I saw Nick again.
"Ashley! I'm so sorry for breaking your
heart and choosing the group over you! You mean the world to me! I've never
stopped loving you!"
Oh,
yeah, that's realistic Ash! Knowing AJ, he probably didn't even tell Nick I was
coming!
Once we arrived at the arena (right on time I
might add, ::snicker snicker::), we were quickly seated, and immediately got
caught up in the excitement.
***9:15 pm***
It had been a great show so far. The fans
were going nuts over their coveted Backstreet Boys. Linds and I couldn't help
dancing and singing along. However, it was weird. We were front row center, and
hard to miss considering we were the only ones not wearing BSB shirts, but
weren't acknowledged by any of the Boys, except by the occasional wave or nod
from AJ or Kevin.
"Cause I want it that way…"
AJ finished the song smoothly and was
commended by thousands of clapping and screaming fans. Linds and I, along with
all the other fans, got ready to leave…but then, softly at first…the music
started up again.
I turned to Linds. "Isn't 'I want it
that way' the last song?"
"I thought so…"
Then
AJ's voice broke the silence that had descended over the crowd. He appeared in
front of Linds and I.
"Would you two girls please join me on
stage?" He said winking at me. "There's a surprise for you." He
added mysteriously.
He
sat us down in two chairs in the center of the stage. That's when I recognized
the music…
"It's not that I can't live without
you, it's just that I don't even wanna try…"
Just
then, Nick appeared on stage. A spotlight shown on him as he approached me.
"…every night I dream about you, ever since the day we said goodbye…"
Nick
took my hand and began singing.
"If I wasn't such a fool…right now I'd
be holding you… there's nothing that I wouldn't do…baby if I only knew…"
As
the boys joined in singing with him, he pulled me up into his arms and we began
slow dancing.
"Tell me, the words to say, the road to
take, to find a way back to your heart. What can I do, to get to you, and find
a way back to your heart…"
I managed to peek over Nick's
shoulder and I saw Brian, singing to Lindsay.
"I don't know how it got so crazy, but
I'll do anything to set things right cause your love is so amazing. Baby,
you're the best thing in my life."
Nick took me at arms length,
looked deep into my eyes, and sang his part.
"Let me prove my love is real, make you
feel the way I feel. I promise I would give the world…if only you would tell me
girl…"
We started slow dancing again while the Boys
sang the chorus. I was swooning. He does still feel it. I thought. Then
Brian and Nick joined in singing…
"Give me one more chance, to give my
love to you, cause no one on this earth, loves you like I do."
Then
Nick knelt down in front of me while I sat down again in the chair.
"Tell me…the words to say, the road to
take, to find a way back to you heart, what can I do, to get to you, and find a
way back…to your heart. "
Nick put everything he had into signing the
last chorus…and he sang the background vocals, which I had never heard before…
"These arms of mine, are open wide from
now until the end of time, you are my world what can I do, this heart of mine
belongs to you."
As
AJ sang the last notes of the song, Nick took both my hands into his, looked
deep into my eyes, and said,
"Ashley, I was stupid not to choose
you, and I've been miserable ever since. I've never stopped loving you."
I searched his eyes, and I recognized the
familiar look…the look of love. I squeezed his hands, urging him to continue.
"So…"
He
let go of my hand and pulled a blue velvet box out of his coat pocket.
"Will you make me the happiest man
alive and marry me?"
The
crowd went dead silent, anxiously awaiting my answer. At the same time I heard
Brian's voice.
"What I'm trying to say Linds is, will
you marry me?"
I
looked into Nick's eyes and the love that I felt seemed to be reflected…I knew
what my answer would be.
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