Michaela sat holding her five month old daughter. She had gotten so big in the last few months. She looked over to see her husband reading to their 5 year old daughter and their 2 year old son. She smiled at the warm sight. She looked out the window as the scenery passed by.
"Michaela are you hungry?" ,she heard her husband ask her.
"No but a cup of coffee would be nice."
"Be right back." He replied as he kissed her on the lips.
Katie went over to her mother and asked her to continue reading while Sully went to get lunch for the children."Mama will you keep reading?"
"Certainly sweetheart."
She started reading and no sooner as she finished the last page that her husband came back with a tray full of food. Katie and John went to their father who sat her down and began to help her eat. Michaela looked down at Alexandra. She had fallen asleep. She gently placed the baby in the cradle at her feet. Then she went to join Sully and her children. Soon they would be in Boston and the children could get a good night sleep.
"How are Brian and Matthew doing?"
"There doing fine, a little tired of riding on a train."
"They are not the only ones. The children are getting restless. They are not used to having to stay in one place."
"They will be alright. Only one more day."
"Yes one more day. I can't wait to see Mother and my sisters and their families. It has been such a long time."
One day later they pulled into the Boston train station. Soon they got off of the train and gathered their luggage. Once they had everything they made their way to the hotel.
Michaela placed Alex in the crib. Then began to unpack. After every thing was put away and the children were happily sitting on the carpet playing with their toys could she relax. She took off her shoes and socks. Then laid down next to Sully. After they all had a long nap they all got up and got ready for dinner at Michaela's old home. Soon they were all ready to go. They got into the carriage and rode to Beacon Hill.
Soon they pulled up in front of a large home. Sully helped Michaela and the children down from the carriage. Michaela knocked on the door. Soon the butler opened the door. He let them inside and showed them to the parlor where Elizabeth Quinn and her eldest daughter Rebecca were waiting.
As soon as Elizabeth saw them she got up and went to her daughter and hugged her with warmth and affection.
"Michaela. I am so glad that you could all come for a visit."
"Oh and look it how grown up Brian is. Your no longer a boy your a man."
"Hello Grandma." Brian replied as she gave him a hug.
"Oh Matthew it's been so long since I saw you." She gave him a warm smile.
"Katie your so pretty and John you are a little gentleman. The last time I saw you. You were just a baby. Now your 2 years old. Has really been that long?"
"Yes Mother. Too long."
Then Elizabeth's eyes came to rest upon the small little bundle of joy in her daughter's arms. Elizabeth smiled and went over to look at the granddaughter she had never seen.
"May I hold her?"
"Of course." She replied as she handed her baby daughter to her grandmother.
After the rest of her family arrived they all ate dinner. Shortly after dinner was done Michaela went into her father's old library. She went and sat at his desk. She opened one of the drawers. She saw a book that she had never seen before. She pulled it out of the drawer. Then she opened up the cover of the book. In the cover there was a few lines written in her father's handwriting. She began to read what it said.
She read: To my dearest daughter Michaela. I hope that you get this after I am gone. I hope that it will bring you comfort when I am not there. Your loving father, Josef.
Michaela turned to the first page and began to read.
Medical School isn't as easy as I thought it would be. But I am determined to succeed and become a doctor. It has been my dream for many years and I am not about to give it up. Sometimes I spend many late hours studying. Trying to understand the material or to make sure that I know it all. The tests are hard and sometimes I don't sleep all night instead I study. If I don't study hard I know I will fail. My hard work and determination will one day pay off. I know in my heart I am meant to be a doctor...
Michaela was interrupted by her husband. He walked into the library and put his arms around his wife. He found her reading something.
"What ya reading?"
"My father's diary. Sully this note says that it is suppose to be given to me after he died. Instead it has spent several years collecting dust in this drawer of my father's desk. I wondered if mother knew he kept a diary. I never knew he did."
"Well why don't you go talk to her about it. All of your sisters and their families have gone home and she is sitting in the parlor alone."
"I will." She replied as she left the room with the book. Soon she made her way to the parlor she took a seat next to her mother.
"Mother have you ever seen this?" She asked her as she handed her mother the old book.
"Yes this is your father's diary. I haven't seen it since the day he died. Where did you find this?"
"I was in the library and I sat at father's desk and I opened a drawer and found it. It had this note inside of it."
Elizabeth read over the note. Then handed the book to her daughter. "Your father wanted you to have it and now you shall."
"Thank you mother it would mean so much to me."
Elizabeth hugged her daughter. "You remind me of your father so much. I see him within you every time you smile, every time you treat a patient. I am so proud of you Michaela and I know your father is too."
"Oh mother you'll never know how long I have wanted you to say those words to me. Thank you."
Michaela sat by her father's grave and began to read the words that he had written so long ago.
Today was the first time I assisted in a surgery. My hands froze at first and I didn't remember any of my medical knowledge. But then the doctor told me that he was nervous his first time too but he did fine. So I gathered up my courage and the surgery began. Everything went fine and the patient is expected to make a full recovery. I must go now. Dinner is ready.
Michaela began to remember her first surgery along side her father. He had said those exact words to her when she had froze up. She held the book close to her heart. Somehow reading his words was like him being right here beside her and listening to her read them. Also it was like keeping his memory alive.
Soon Michaela fell asleep on the grass which was warm of the hot suns rays of heat that were shining down upon it. She began to dream of her childhood. Of when her father was alive and she dreamed of being a doctor.
Five year old Michaela sat at the breakfast table. Her mother kept trying to get her to sit up straight and use her fork and knife to eat. But Michaela was not cooperating very well. Josef looked over at them as he read a Medical Journal. He smiled as Elizabeth picked up the fork that their daughter had dropped. Michaela was not going to give up without a fight. He knew she could be very stubborn.
Soon he heard his wife's voice,"Josef what are you smiling about?"
He replied,"You my dear."
"Oh you think this is funny. Will it be so funny when she's a young woman and we have guests over for dinner and she eats with her hands?"
"No I guess not. But why force her if she doesn't want too."
"Josef if she doesn't learn manners at a young age then she will grow up disobedient and unrefined."
"I just think that your doing it all wrong with her."
"Alright. I have had enough. If you think you can do a better job at being her mother than I can then why don't you take over for the day."
"Fine I will."
Elizabeth left the room and father and daughter were left alone. Michaela looked up at her father who had moved over to the chair where her mother had been sitting. He picked up his own fork and knife and began to eat from his plate. Michaela looked over at him. She followed and picked up her fork and knife and began to eat like her father. She began to imitate everything he did.
Elizabeth came back and saw that Michaela was eating from her plate the proper way she was surprised. She never thought her husband could get her to eat properly if she couldn't. She was a little mad but happy that one of her tasks to teach their youngest daughter was fulfilled.
Soon Michaela felt someone touch her hand and then she heard a voice. "Michaela, Michaela can you hear me. Come on sweetheart wake up."
Soon Michaela's eyes opened. She found her husband by her side. She slowly sat up. She rub her eyes to be able to see a little better after a long nap.
"Hey you must have been dreaming of something real special that I could not wake you up."
"I was just dreaming of when I was young when father was alive."
"So this is your father's grave." He read the headstone.
"Who came up with the inscription?" He asked his wife.
"I did."
"I want to hear you say the words."
"Dr. Josef Quinn... Beloved Doctor, Friend, Father, and Husband... Whose Memory will live on within his children and his grandchildren and future generations.
"You miss him don't you?"
"Yes very much." Michaela's tears began to fall upon her father's grave.
"Oh Sully I wish you could have known him like I did. He was everything to me. He made me believe that I had enough courage and strength to face the unknown and to take on challenges that were almost impossible. Sully hold me. I need to feel your arms around me keeping me safe from all harm."
Sully did as she asked and put his arms around her. He embraced the woman that he loved so much. That he had married, that he had built a family with, that he was connected with by heart, body, soul, and mind.
After Michaela calmed down she stood up and picked up her father's journal. Soon she and Sully left and walked back to the hotel where her children were waiting for them to go to dinner.
A few hours later Michaela tucked in John while Sully put Katie to bed. Soon she heard her youngest daughter let out a small cry from her crib. She left the children's room and went into her own room where Alex was in her crib.
"Hello sweetheart. You must be hungry.",she told the tiny infant as she undid the buttons on her nightgown. Soon Alex was contently nursing. A few minutes later Sully came into the room. He looked over at Michaela and his youngest child. He was mesmerized at the bond between mother and child. He smiled as Michaela looked over at him with so much love.
Soon the infant fell asleep in her mother's arms. Michaela got up from the chair and put the baby into her crib. Then she joined her husband in bed. Sully was quietly reading a book. Michaela began to kiss his chest. Sully felt his passions begin to stir. She leaned up to kiss his lips.
"Sully I love."
"I love you too."
Soon they became one. They moved as one in perfect harmony. As if they had been made to be as one. They were connected by heart, body, mind, and soul. Sully looked down at his wife who was looking up at him with love. He never knew he could be this happy in life. He didn't want to change anything in his life.
Michaela and Sully woke up in each others arms. Their warmth ran through each others bodies. They shared a piece of themselves each time they became one. Michaela never wanted to loose him. She knew she could never live without him. He was a part of her, and life was as it should be.
Later on that night Michaela laid awake reading the inner most feelings that her father had wrote in his diary. She began to cry at the entry she was reading. It broke her heart.
The influenza is spreading and only getting worse. I feel like I am powerless to stop it. The death is almost to much for me to bear. I don't know if I can tolerate death as I become closer and closer to being a licensed doctor. I watch a little girl die this morning. Her little heart just gave up from a high fever and days of exhaustion. Her parents looked at their lifeless daughter with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. I feel trapped in hell. The screams and moaning are becoming to much for me to handle. But then I think of all those poor desperate souls fighting to live and beat the illness. They need my help to survive and that keeps me going on.
Michaela closed the book and held it to her chest. She never knew how hard that had been on her father. He hardly ever talked about his early years of practicing medicine. Now she knew why. The pain must have been so unbearable for him that it tore him up inside and he couldn't share something that terrible with anyone.
A few days later Michaela finished dressing Katie and John. Soon she heard Alex cry. She went into her room and picked up her daughter then sat down in the chair and nurse her child. She soon fast asleep with her small daughter in her arms.
Eight year old Michaela looked around. She was lost. Tears began to fall down her face as she looked in all directions for her mother and father. She began to walk down the dark street with only a few lamps lighting the street. Michaela felt fear run through her. Where was she? How was she going to get home? Why didn't she listen to her sister Maureen who had told her that she was a pest and always in the way. Her words had hurt so bad. She stopped walking and sat on the front steps of a house. She began to cry more violently. Soon one of the maids heard her crying and opened the door.
"What wrong Miss?"
"I'm lost and afraid."
"Oh come on in my dear will talk to the Mrs."
Soon she was inside all warm and fed by the couple who lived at the home. They were very kind to her. They had sent a message to her father telling him that his daughter was at their home and that she was safe.
Michaela felt a warm touch on her cheek. She opened her eyes to see Sully kneeling before her. He gently leaned forward and kissed her lips.
"Here let me take Alex.",said Sully as he picked up his young daughter.
"Thank you",replied Michaela as she buttoned up her blouse.
"Your welcome." He said as he carefully placed a sleeping Alex in her crib.He spent a few minutes staring at her then he went over to the bed where Michaela was laying down.
"Michaela you've been so distant lately. I don't know what your feeling because you won't tell me. It hurts me so much to see you in pain and I'm not able to help you through it. All I want to do is to love you and protect you from all harm. My love for you beats stronger everyday. I need you so much. You are my heartsong, the love of my life. Our hearts beat as one and when you hurt I hurt. Please let me help you through this?"
"I have been reading my father's journal and lately I've just been feeling so different. I feel like I am living the earlier years of his life and I am learning new things about him. It reminds me of how much I loved him and how long he has been gone. I miss him so much Sully. My heart longs to have him here to have met you and the children. For the first time in my life I feel like something is missing and I don't how to make that feeling go away."
"That feeling may never go away, but as the years go by your pain should ease more and I know that you are a very strong person who is strong enough to live through this. I know you will get through this because I believe in you."
"And I believe in you. You always no how to look into my heart and see the pain and sooth my inner soul. You have made me so happy Sully. I never knew what I was missing in life until I had it. Thank you for helping me appreciate our love for each other and our life we have together.
"Your Welcome.",he replied as he kissed her on the lips tenderly.
Matthew finished reading up on his case before he turned out the lights. He had thrown himself into his work. He felt fulfilled one way in life but not in another. He longed for something more. He wanted to be married with children. He knew he would never love anyone as much as Ingrid, but if he could find someone he did love and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. His life would seem more complete. He blew out the light and fell asleep. He began to dream of a possible future.
Brian finished writing in his journal when he looked over and saw that his brother had fallen asleep. Brian also blew out his own light. But sleep did not come. He began to think of all the changes that had occurred. The changes to Colorado Springs and the new people it brought and the changes to his family. He now had two little sisters and one little brother. He was thankful for his siblings and his parents. Brian knew he wanted to be a writer and get married and have children, but more than all of that he wanted his family to be happy.
It had been a month since they had come to Boston for a visit. In that time Michaela had grown very depressed about her father's journal. Sully and the children were deeply concerned about her.
Michaela sat at the breakfast table to eating with her family. When everyone was finished Michaela got up and began to pick up the plates when she became very dizzy. Sully immediately went to her side to keep her from falling.
"Michaela are you alright?"
"Yes I must have gotten up to quickly. I think I will go and rest for awhile."
She left the room and went into her room to take a nap. She checked in on Alex who was sleeping. Then she went over to her bed and fell asleep. Sully came into the room and watched her sleep. She was so tired lately.
Michaela sat waiting for someone to ask her to dance. But no one did. She felt a few tear trickle down her face. Ever since she had been in Medical School no one ever asked her to dance. Michaela ran up to her room in tears. She ran and fell upon her bed crying. She decided that if no one would ask her to dance she would give up the parties.
Michaela woke up to her daughter's cries. She got up off the bed and went to her crib she picked her up and went over to the bed. She began to nurse the hungry baby. After she finished nursing and had fallen asleep. Michaela placed her back in the crib. Before she could make it back to the room she fainted. Sully immediately woke up at the sound of a thud. He saw his wife and went to her.
A few minutes later Michaela woke up with the children and a stranger around her. The man immediately checked her pulse.
"Mame I'm Dr. Roberts can you tell me how you feel?"
"Tired and nauseous."
He began to finish checking her vitals as he asked a few more questions. "How has your appetite been?"
"I've been eating a little more than usual."
"And how have you been sleeping?"
"I have been tired a lot and sleeping more."
"And you've been dizzy and nauseous?"
"Yes."
"When was your last monthly?
"Oh two months ago."
"Dr. Quinn if all of my calculations are right your pregnant. But I won't know for sure without a more complete examination."
"Yes of course."
"If I could have everyone leave the room."
After everyone left he finished his examination and confirmed that she was preganant. He invited Sully back in the room.
"Your wife is pregnant."
Sully went over and hugged his wife then gave her a kiss on her lips to show her how much he loved her for giving them another child.
"There's more. From what I can tell you are expecting twins. As you know with two babies the risks are higher and you won't carry them to full term. I suggest for your sake and your babies sake that you limit you physical activity."
"Thank You Dr. Roberts."
"Your Welcome. I must be going now."
He left the room and Michaela and Sully were left alone to talk about their joys and fears of this pregnancy."
"Oh Michaela I can't tell you how happy I am. But are you and the babies gonna be okay?"
"We should be if I do as the Doctor suggested. I can't believe were having two more children. I thought Alex would be our last child."
"Me neither. It's such a surprise. But a good one. But will it be alright being so soon after Alex's birth?"
"Well she is six months old and that she be enough amount of time for my body to recuperate from my last pregnancy."
That night Michaela read a special entry in her father's journal that she held close to her heart and would forever treasure among her memories of her father.
My sweet little Mike. You are a girl. I was a little disappointed when the doctor said that. But once I held you in my arms and you held onto my finger as if you would never let go I was hooked. You are the cutest little baby. I wanted a boy so dearly to follow in my footsteps, but maybe you are meant to follow in my footsteps instead one day. That would make me so proud to see you graduate from Medical School just as I have. I hope that you grow up and get married and have children. And one day maybe you will have the son I never did have. But you are better than a son. My sweet little girl is only one day old and I am already planning your future. Until we meet again in the morning my sweet little angel. Your loving father, Joseph
Michaela felt like she was going to cry. Maybe the children she was carrying was the son he had never had and the baby she had lost. Michaela put her hand on her belly. She prayed to God to let the twins be born healthy.
A week later it was decided that for Michaela's sake they should return home to Colorado Springs before it became to dangerous for her to travel. A few days after they left they arrived in Colorado.
They drove home in the wagon. Michaela held baby Alex in her arms with Sully beside her driving the wagon. While Matthew held Katie and Brian held John in the back of the wagon. Soon the homestead came into view. Sully took the baby from Michaela as she got down from the wagon. The she handed Alex to her and picked up John and took Katie's hand.
Michaela went inside the house and upstairs to her bedroom and put Alex in her crib to sleep. Michaela took a few seconds to look at her room. She was finally home. Michaela began to wonder what the twins would be like. They would have to move Alex into the room with Katie once they were born and since she would not be out of her crib for at least another year and a half. Sully would have to make two new ones for the twins.
Sully came up behind his wife and put his hand where there two unborn children were growing. Sully felt like life was just as it should be. There love had only grown with the addition of two new lives. He knew this pregnancy would be hard on his wife but he would be by her side helping her and loving her in any way he could.
Later on that night Michaela opened her father's book. She had almost finished reading it except for the last entry. She began to read it to herself.
My dear daughter Michaela. What a fine young lady and doctor you have grown up to be. I hoped I would get to give you up on your wedding day before I am gone. But that will not happen. I can feel that my time is near. I will leave you soon. You will go on living without me. But somewhere in heaven I will be looking down on you when you get married, have children, and grandchildren. For all of your happy and sad moments in life. I will live on in your heart forever. And one day we will meet again in heaven. Goodbye My dearest daughter, your forever loving father, Joseph.
Michaela never knew her father had written that the morning he had gotten sick. He only lived for three days. But he never woke up. Michaela in a way never really got to say goodbye. But now she was saying goodbye to him. So she could live in her life as the years would come and go with him not by her side. She realized that all these years she never had accepted his death until now. She told herself she must say goodbye. And so she did in the best way possible.She turned the journal to a new page and began to write.
Father I have missed all these years. I have never forgotten you and what you taught me while you were alive. You have given me the gift and knowledge to help people when they need someone to care for them. I have continued to practice medicine to keep your memory alive. I am saying goodbye until we meet again in heaven when I die. Until then your loving daughter, Mike.