Author's Note:I wanted to write a story about what would happen if Sully had to relive his past even for just a little while. I hope you enjoy it.
Michaela woke up at midnight. She felt around for Sully but he wasn't there. She got out of bed and put her robe on. She opened the door and went to her youngest daughter's room. She opened the door and found four year old Katie sound asleep. By her bed she found Sully asleep on the floor. She walked up to him and brushed a lock of hair away from his face. He felt her touch and opened his eyes. She looked down at him with a warm smile. He pulled himself up to his feet.
She said,"I wondered where you went"
He replied,"I wanted to check on her.Make sure she was Ok"
Michaela says,"She is fine,Sully"
"I know I just had to make sure"
Earlier that day Katie had run off. They had spent many hours looking for her when she found her way back home. Sully had been so shocked when she disappeared.Michaela had never seen that side of him before and it scared her.
They went back to bed. Michaela closed her eyes and fell asleep, but Sully did not sleep. Katie disappearing and looking for her had scared him half to death. He kept thinking what if something terrible had happened to her. He would have never forgiven himself. Losing Abagail and Hannah was more then he could ever handle, and through the years almost losing Michaela and other loved ones was almost unbearable, but to lose is only daughter that was his flesh and blood that was living would have killed him.He finally fell asleep.
Michaela woke up to Sully's screaming. She gave him a firm shake and he woke up realizing that it was all a bad dream. Sully was covered in sweat.He pulled Michaela close to him and held her tight.Michaela could feel the tears on her nightgown.She felt helpless and unsure of what to do but hold him and tell him everything would be alright.
After an hour or so he calmed down. When he calmed down he felt like a child crying in her arms. He pushed her away and went downstairs. She just looked at the door hoping he would come back, but after ten minutes she got up and did her morning ritual.
Sully ran to the barn and bridled his horse. Them he mounted and rode off. He rode and rode for he didn't care at moment where he was going. Finally he stopped because it was getting to dark to keep riding. He called upon the spirits and asked for their forgiveness and guidance.His prayer was answered by Cloud Dancin'. When Sully saw him he didn't believe it was him because he was suppose to be in Montana. Cloud Dancin' pointed to something. Sully saw someone and he ran after them calling out to them to stop.
When the dark became light he saw Colorado Springs. But it looked different. It looked like it had before Michaela and him were married. He walked into to town. People greeted him with hellos and good mornings. Most people looked the same, but one person got his eye and he stopped dead in his tracks. It was his first wife Abagail. She was the way he remembered before Hannah was born. Anyone could tell she was pregnant. She walked up to him and cupped his face in her hands. This couldn't be a dream her touch is to real he thought.
She said,"Sully I missed you,it's time to go home"
Sully replied,"Your not real you can't be"
Abagail replies,"Sully I am very real,what is the matter with you?"
Sully was panicking by now. So many questions began racing through his mind.He couldn't believe his eyes, but her touch was so real so vivid. It had to be real.
Sully replied,"Where is Michaela and Katie?"
Abagail was beginning to get worried.
"Who are they Sully?"
"My wife and daughter"
"Sully your scarring me"
Sully was beginning to get scared himself. He tried to put it together but he couldn't make sense of anything.He finally thinks maybe the spirits are trying to me something.
"Sorry it just well you reminded me of someone"
"oh,but your sure your alright?"
"yes I lost myself for awhile....Can you make home by yourself there is something I got to do"
Abagail replied,"Sure take all the time you need"
"Thanks", he replied walking toward the telegraph office. He was going to try something and see if it would work. He walked into the door.
"Hey Sully",Horace says
"I gota send a telegram"
Horace asks,"To who?"
"To Mich....Dr. Michaela Quinn..in Boston"
"Alright, why you sendin a wire so far away?"
"I wanted to see if she remembers me"
"oh"
He walked out of the door and away out of town. He walked to where the new homestead would have been built. When he reached the place where in the future it would be built it was a meadow.He walked away to where the old homestead was. It was right where he had built it so long ago. He remembered when Michaela and the children had lived there.The children...If Abagail was alive they would be living with their real Ma in the old boarding house. He wasn't sure if they had known him at that time. He couldn't remember so much from his past.
He walked toward the old homestead. When he reached the door he took a long deep breath and opened the door. He looked inside and found Abagail in bed asleep. He went inside and pulled up a chair at the foot of the bed. He tried to piece everything together. The only thing he could come up with was that he had come back to the past to find out something important.
After an hour of thinking he realized he was hungry. So he went to the stove and made some beef stew. He made enough for Abagail as well.After he finished eating he washed the dish he had eaten off of. Abagail began to stir from her sleep. He felt so different around Abagail then Michaela. He had feelings for Abagail, but Michaela stirred something inside of him he couldn't even begin to imagine how to explain.
He had been so deep in thought he didn't see Abagail get up and grab a plate of stew and bring it over to the table. He jumped when she set it down.
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you"
"its alright I've been thinkin real hards all"
"I haven't been feeling to well the past few days and I finally was able to get some sleep, now I could eat almost everything in site right now.......Sully what do you want to name the baby?"
He had been thrown back when she had brought up the subject. The pain of loosing them he could feel all over again.He thought for awhile not sure what to say.He kept trying to find the words.
"Why don't we name her Hannah"
"I like that, but how do you know it will be a girl?"
"I have a good feeling that what the baby will be, I mean"
Two days later he got a reply from Michaela which was a letter. Horace rode all the way out to the homestead to give it to him. He quickly sat on the stairs out side and opened it.He started to read it. He couldn't believe his eyes.It read:
Dear Mr. Sully, I got your telegram a few days ago. I feel the same as you do, like I have met you before. Even your name sounds familiar to me. I am not sure of what is to come of this, but maybe someday in the future we will meet and maybe if we talk we could put this together. I hope you get this letter.
Sincerely, Dr.Michaela Quinn
He was speechless. He couldn't believe that she remembered him. They hadn't even know each other at this time in history. He wasn't sure if he should write back or wait to see if she would write back. He heard Abagail scream all of a sudden at the top of her lungs. He ran into the homestead and he found her clenching her abdomen. She was covered in sweat.
"Sully I am going into labor........It feels as if I am being teatin in two"
A half hour later Abagail was at the boarding house and Charlotte Cooper was doing everything she could to help, but something didn't seem right. Charlotte then said she needed to be transfered to denver.
They reached Denver half a day later. Abagail was beginning to have short breaths. They finally found a docter. They brought Abagail upstairs to a room. Sully sat nervously not sure of what to expect. Then one of the nurses said Abagail wanted him. He ran up to her room.
Sully asked the docter,"how is she?"
"I am afraid were loosing her...she had a baby girl...she just couldn't..I am so sorry..I'll leave you be"
Sully went over to Abagail who was pure white. her skin felt cold to the touch. She looked so helpless. He didn't know what to do. She open her eyes the slightest bit and looked up at him.
"Sully it isn't your fault..you need to be strong and live your life....I will always love you...don't you ever forgive that"
She was looking up as if there was someone waiting for her. She looked at Sully one last time. Then looked back up at what awaited her. He saw her chest go up then down...He knew it was her last breath. He felt the tears come down his face. The docter came in and covered her body with a sheet.
"Would you like to see your daughter?"
"yes"
"I am going to tell you there isn't much hope she will live through the night..."
He led Sully into another room where tiny Hannah was steadily breathing. Sully couldn't take his eyes off her. Oh how much she looked like Katie...He picked up the tiny child in his strong hands and went over to a rocking chair. He rocked her and hummed to her. She was much littler than he remembered her. He didn't know how long he watched her and sung to her. Then he felt her face and it was blue. He screamed out.
The nurses came running in. They took her pulse and blew air into her lungs. After ten minutes the nurse shook her head and went up to Sully and put her hand on his shoulder.
"I am so sorry there was nothing we could do"
"No she can't be dead...she can't leave me I need her so badly"
Sully sees a bright light and he closes his eyes and when he opens them he is back in a sitting position on the ground in the forest. He screams out for Hannah. He looks around and realizes that he is back to the present. He quickly mounted his horse and rode to the homestead. When it came into view he finally understood why he had been takin back to the past. He had blamed himself for Abagail and Hannah dieing then he blamed himself for Katie runnimg off. The spirits were telling him that it was not his fault but it was their wish for them to die.
He dismounted his horse and tied the reins to the fence. Then he walked up to the stairs and climbed them. He walked inside and he found everything quiet. He went upstairs and found Katie asleep in her room. He walked up to her and ran his hand gently through her hair and her cheek. She opened her eyes. When she saw him she jumped up into his arms and hugged him tightly.
"Poppy your home...I missed you so much"
Sully replied,"I missed you too honey. I was so glad we found you unhurt...you mean so much to me..I hope you know that"
"I do poppy... you mean lot to me too"
"You have to go back to sleep now"
Sully gently places her on the bed and covers her up. Then he kisses her on the forehead. When she falls asleep he walks out of her room closing the door behind him. He then walks to his bedroom and opens the door. He walks in and finds Michaela on the bed asleep, but her face is all red from crying. He walks up to her. He gently rubs the side of her face. She awakens to his touch. When she sees that it is Sully she gets up and hugs him tightly for dear life.
"Sully you scared me so much"
"I know, but there was somethin I needid ta do"
She replies,"I understand...I was scared that you might not come back"
He answers her question,"I'll always be here no matter what"
"I love you so much"
He replied,"I love you too"
They climbed into bed. Sully held her close to him, close to his heart. He understood that he had taken the blame for so many years of Abagail's and Hannah's death. Now he realized that was what the spirits had wanted for them, and this here at the homestead was what they wanted for him. It took one journey to the past to set him back on the right path. That path was with Michaela and his children. He would never loose that path again...