I hate Kids You know, often times during my worthless life I encounter strange things that just make me want to hurt people, and carry out gods plan of people hurtin' people. On this particular day I had just again finished off another day of work, wondering where all the good tang is at, because lets face it I'm not getting any younger or more limber, improving my credit rating, etc, so it better get done now. As part of my master plan called for me to swing by the burger king (ya know for the drugs) I made a rather simple order, of one of the few edible things on their damn menu, and a rather simple order by my estimation, a double whopper no pickle no onions with cheese and bacon, as God intended burgers to be, a heart attack waiting to happen, just try me Lord, just try me. And as I pull through the drive through (because eating inside often makes me come in contact with many of my arch enemies, small children, filthy little bastards who yell and scream and cry and through fits on the floor, which really detracts from me yelling screaming and crying while spasming on the floor. So any who I’m going through the drive through, and low and behold I see two lil bastiches on bicycles at the window, my first instinct was to smash into them and crush them into tiny little bits. However recently due to my lack of income I feared the pirates at the local bureau might not dig some booty to get me out of the clink this time, and let me tell you its not a pretty sight seeing an overweight pirate in a tube top and mini skirt trading loving with the guard at the drunk tank so I could go free, but it emphasizes that booty keeps its value even in these troubled times while the dollar might fall, booty values remains steady! AVAST! So I wait an eternity while these two little pukes sit on their bikes while waiting for their food, only my imagination where I Captain Jake (in all actuality since I failed to molest a super model when I had the chance I’ve been demoted to Hook Polisher second class, pirates can be cruel so very cruel). After eternity has past and once again Cher has come back into some modest degree of popularity they finally hand puke number one his order, the second little puke decides now would be a great time to PLACE his order, at the window, this is why nasty lil midgets shouldn’t be allowed into the complex negotiations for food at the drive through, see you make you order at the little clown then pull around to window where invariably some twit pirate out of work will screw up your order and then short change you giving you 27 cents back for your 20 dollar bill. That is what people understand, lets face it, its not a perfect system but it gives you an OPPERTUNITY to avoid dealing with wretched little puke holes who are just as likely to munch excrement as burgers. So while idiot #2 begins to place his order, idiot number 1 begins to drive around in circles on his bike, in an obvious attempt to deflect any association he might have had with dumb ass number 2. Yet it failed horribly when he fell over while trying to complete the complex circle which requires continued right turns, and spilled his crap all over the pavement, and I just had to chuckle to myself, and by chuckle to myself of course I mean to roll down the windows and bust a gut laughing at them. At this point the midget after picking himself up off the ground gathering his shred of dignity and giving me an evil look, as if my pirate reaction was somehow wrong, I proceeded to give the kid the finger, get out of my car and give him a karate chop to the neck rendering him unconscious, (pirates are adept ninjas, why is it not so well known? because we are FREAKING ninjas darn it). From there I picked up the unconscious child’s bike and proceeded to beat his slow friend, until he slept peacefully. After this much pirate action however had attracted a crowd, and I saluted my fellow pirates in typical pirate fashion by letting them known they were #1 in my book. I returned to my sub pirate vehicle got in and pulled up over a few broken bodies and bicycles and proceeded to wait another 3 minutes for my order to finally be processed, it occurred to me I had more time then I had reckoned to beat them midgets. After I got home and opened my bag I had noticed God had once again been three steps ahead of me, as I was reforming his midgets into something more pirate like he had the burger king pirates screw up my order, my bacon and cheese was missing, but they had added in its place onions, and no less then 17 pickles, pirates can be so very very cruel.