TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE

 by Ceallaig

---

The rain spattered against the window as John sat on the edge of the bed next to Aeryn. The bleakness of the weather outside fit his mood to a T. It was all his fault – he’d gotten Aeryn into this mess, he’d gotten Rygel dissected and D’Argo kidnapped. How could he have been naive enough to think that his fellow humans would go against their caveman origins and welcome anyone who was not like them? Hell, they couldn’t deal with beings who were of a different skin color half the time, how else were they going to react to fleshlocks and slitted eyes?

"I won’t be recaptured, Crichton," Aeryn said softly. "They will have to kill me if they come for me in the morning."

"I know," he replied, the hopelessness apparent in every line of him. Damn, he was tired. His shoulders were strong, but they couldn’t bear the weight of the universe, and that was what he felt like he was carrying right now. He was used to thinking his way out of problems, and now he was running into nothing but stone walls. He knew he’d have to fight, and he didn’t know what he had left in him to fight with. But he also knew Wilson and Cobb would have to have a lot more than tranquilizer darts to take her away from him in the morning. He laid his head against Aeryn’s shoulder for a moment, feeling her warmth, her life, closing his eyes and breathing her scent. Tonight, maybe the only night ....

He looked up and moved his face in closer to hers, brushing her cheek. She turned her face toward his, looking down almost shyly. He coaxed her lips up to meet his gently, and felt them part slightly, needing the contact as much as he did. For one brief moment the world outside went away.

John ended the kiss first, searching Aeryn’s face intently for a moment. Her eyes were lowered again, but there was the slightest hint of a smile on her lips. The long lashes came up and the luminous blue eyes locked on his. She reached up to her hair and undid the binding. Jet waves cascaded over her shoulders, and John had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

He smoothed one errant strand out of her face, then caressed with a feather soft touch across her forehead, tracing the curve of her dark brows, brushing her closed eyelids, down the bridge of her proud nose. She smiled softly as his fingers continued their journey across her high cheekbones, brushing the soft skin of her cheek, moving her hair out of the way to find the curve of her ear. A soft breathy moan escaped her, and he smiled.

Cupping her face in his hands, he replaced his fingers with his lips, going over the same path with butterfly-soft kisses, barely touching her. He felt her shiver, felt her lean into him as her hands rested against his thighs. His hands moved down to her shoulders, and he flicked her earlobe with the tip of his tongue. She gasped and her eyes opened wide as she pulled back to look at him. John hesitated, then said, "You’re going to have to tell me if I screw up, you know."

"What?"

He chuckled. "This is the first time I’ve been with a woman from out of town. You’ll have to help me out here, let me know what you like. I’m guessing the earlobe thing isn’t .... "

"No, it is, very. I just ... didn’t know how you knew about that."

"Lucky guess," he grinned, then the smile faded. "Help me do this right, Aeryn. I want to make it right for you. Please."

Aeryn looked into the earnest blue-green eyes and couldn’t answer for a moment. She was not a virgin -- sexual relations between Peacekeepers was not only permitted, it was encouraged as a means of relieving stress and tension, particularly after a battle. She had usually found the encounters pleasurable enough, but they were purely physical release, they did not involve her emotions in any way.

This was different. This man, this human, wanted her pleasure before his own. He wanted to give himself to her, make her happy. Something inside her warmed and glowed in response. She smiled and said, "You’re doing well. Feel free to continue."

John smiled and captured her lips for another kiss, running the tip of his tongue around the edges, coaxing them open. She responded, her tongue flicking his teeth, touching his for just a moment. He slid a hand under her hair to the back of her neck and trailed kisses down her throat, smiling as her breathing quickened and her head rolled back, allowing him more access. His fingers traced her collarbones above the neck of her T-shirt and down her arms to her waist.

She pulled back a moment and started to take her shirt out of her waistband, but John stopped her. "No, let me do it," he whispered. She laid her hands on his shoulders and closed her eyes, losing herself in the pleasure of his touch. He slid the tail of her shirt out of her pants and eased it up over her torso slowly, reveling in the feel of the smooth skin under his hands. She held up her arms, and he pulled the shirt over her head, dropping it by the side of the bed. He slid his fingers gently under the edge of her halter style bra, brushing the lower curve of her breasts, pulling out the fabric and sliding that over her head. Her breasts were free, and he just looked at them for a moment – velvet firmness, nipples high and proud, a sculpted form any artist would gladly take credit for.

Then he cupped them in his hands, palms supporting them, thumbs sliding over the nipples, making them erect and pinkish-purple. She covered his hands with hers and showed him just how to manipulate her to give her maximum pleasure. He was an eager student, and she began pressing into his hands, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. He leaned down and kissed along the curve of her left breast, coming at last to the nipple, taking it in his mouth, kissing it, flicking it, duplicating the movements his fingers were making on her other breast. She cried out softly, waves of pleasure washing over her, making hidden muscles contract and relax.

After a long moment, she took his face in her hands and brought it up to hers, kissing him, thanking him the best way she knew how. He slid his hands around her, running them over her silken back, touching the soft fall of her hair, delighting in the feel and smell and taste of the beautiful woman in his arms. She was so amazing, and for tonight, at least, she was his. All the fear, all the danger in the outside world would wait -- this night was theirs, and he wanted to savor every moment of it.

 

She disengaged herself reluctantly and stood up next to the bed, undoing the fastening of her trousers, He slid his hands under the waistband and eased them down her slender hips. They landed in a dark puddle at her feet, and she stepped out of them and kicked them aside. She was wearing the white underwear that was so much like his, and he smiled at the memory of the first time he’d seen her in them. He pulled them down gently, leaning forward to kiss her belly softly as he did so. She shivered and moaned in pleasure, then stepped out of the last of her clothing, standing gloriously nude before him, enjoying the open admiration on his face. She’d seen the look in men’s eyes before, but this time it touched her heart, not just her ego. For the first time, she truly felt beautiful.

"Now it’s my turn," she said, pulling John to his feet. She slid his shirt up and over his head, running her hands over strong arms that had held her and supported her so many times over the last months. She spread her fingers over his firmly muscled chest, enjoying the feel of the light scattering of springy hair under her hands. Her palms brushed John’s nipples, and he gasped and leaned into her hands. She smiled and teased him, first with her fingertips, then bending down and caressing with lips and tongue. He groaned, and she felt him tremble. He laid one hand very lightly on the back of her head, not pushing, just holding her, his eyes closing almost involuntarily.

He felt her hands move down to his jeans, unfastening the button, sliding the zipper down. He felt her hands under the waistband of his briefs, gently taking the garments down, feeling them slide to the floor. Her hand slid up to his head, pulling him down for another kiss as the fingers of her other hand ran gently over his nearly erect manhood, massaging it. He buried his face in the hollow between her neck and shoulder, stifling a cry. After a moment, he looked up to see her smiling at him. "It would seem that human and Sebacean males aren’t very different after all," she said.

"Not a lot, which is why you’d better ease back on the throttle a little bit, or you’re going to lose me. " He pulled the comforter off the bed and turned the blanket down. "Come here."

John scooped her into his arms, and Aeryn didn’t protest, just nestled contentedly in the strength and warmth of his embrace. For right now, this moment, it was right, and real – she did not have to be the tough as nails ex-Peacekeeper, trained from birth to be stoic and emotionless. Right now all she had to be was a woman, and she was discovering just how much she liked it.

He held her, leaning his face against the dark head resting on his shoulder, barely feeling her weight, wishing time would stand still and leave them both like this forever. Finally he laid her gently onto the cool sheets and stretched out next to her. He explored her with his gaze, the long sleek strong lines of her, the soft curves over hard muscles, and smiled at the wonder of her. "You are a remarkable woman, Aeryn Sun," he whispered as he leaned in for a kiss. She reached up to pull him closer, and the kiss deepened, desire building, both losing themselves in the sensations it aroused.

After what seemed an eternity, they broke the embrace, and John smiled down into her eyes. He leaned in to the hollow of her throat, brushing his lips up the side of her neck, running the tip of his tongue around the edge of her ear, nuzzling and flicking her earlobe. He was expecting a similar reaction to the one he had gotten by accident the first time, and he was not disappointed. Aeryn moaned and pressed against him, her eyes closing, a shiver of pure joy shooting through her.

John continued down her neck, nipping gently, kissing, tasting her, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Going down her arm, he ran the tip of his tongue along the inside of her elbow, and her gasp told him he was on the right track. "Gods, how did you...?" she asked after her breath came back.

"Human and Sebacean females aren’t all that different, either, just a bit more .... sensitive in some places," he replied, continuing the onslaught. He took one of her hands into both his own, touching back and palm gently, slowly, then kissing and licking each fingertip as he looked down into her eyes. She smiled and pulled his hand down to rest against the softness of her breast. "More," she murmured, gazing up through half-closed eyes.

John didn’t need a second invitation. Strong gentle fingers worked her nipples, as eager lips and tongue traced a path between her breasts. She arched up, sliding her hand to the back of his head, urging him on. His mouth lit fires within her as it traveled first from one breast to the other, working its magic. She let herself go, loving the feeling, aware of the need growing inside her, wanting all he had to give, knowing he would give it, freely and fully.

John propped himself up on one elbow and feathered his hand over her flat belly and the swell of her hip toward the dark triangle between her thighs. Aeryn spread her legs apart, and he cupped her, not entering her, just holding, rubbing the lips together gently, massaging her secret places. She felt a tremor shiver through her and pressed against his hand, covering it with her own. She guided his fingers inside and he felt the warm sweet wetness of her, the firm nub that grew harder as he experimented on it, watching her reaction, seeing what felt best. Her scent wafted up to him, musky and warm, with something else he couldn’t name, but would be forever a part of his memory of this night. He tasted the juice on his fingers, sweet and salty together, and he felt his mouth begin to water in anticipation.

He looked at Aeryn watching him, and she smiled. "Yes," was all she said, all she needed to say.

She spread her legs wider, maneuvering herself on the bed to allow him access, and he positioned himself between her thighs. She reached down to open herself for him, and he traced the outlines of her soft folds with his fingertips. It was a wonder, a flower made of flesh, to his mind the most miraculous thing any deity every created, able to give and take pleasure, and to nurture and give life. He felt a sense of awe coupled with desire, and he made ready to worship at the shrine.

Leaning down, he began to lick lightly, trailing his tongue from her opening up to her nub, long slow strokes. She met his rhythm with her own, feeling the heat build within, drifting on the wave of sensation. His tongue went inside, reaching as far as he could, lapping up the sweet juices flowing from her. He came back up slowly, then went to work on her core of desire, flicking, teasing, sucking, stimulating it every way he knew how.

She opened her eyes and looked down her body to watch him. His eyes were closed, intent on his task, but the utter pleasure on his face told him all she needed to know. He was enjoying it as much as she was. Flames that were already hot now roared into an inferno as she pressed up against him, begging without words for more, begging for him to put out the fire.

He complied eagerly, concentrating all his efforts on her nub, a soft steady rhythm that picked up speed and pressure as he read the signals she was sending. He gently slid one finger inside her, and felt her inner muscles clamp around it, squeezing rhythmically. Carefully he added a second finger, moving them slowly inside her, finding her pleasure center, soft and springy under his touch. He matched his fingers’ pace with that of his lips and tongue, channeling his own desire into her need.

She climaxed, tsunami-like waves crashing over her, almost frightening in their intensity. She felt helpless against the sensations coursing through her, any vestige of will or control stripped away. As if from a distance, she could hear herself crying out, a soft wailing cry that seemed to go on and on forever, but she was unable to stop, unable to do anything but let the flood take her where it would.

Finally she pulled away a little bit, and he looked up. Her hair was spread in dark waves over the pillow, and her hands were clenching the sheet. Her eyes were closed, but they opened as he slid up beside her, and he saw the sheen of tears in the impossibly blue eyes. "Aeryn, what is it?" he asked, touching her face. "God, I didn’t hurt you, did I?" The mere thought that he might have harmed her sent a knife edge of remorse through his heart.

"No, John, I’m fine," Aeryn said in a shaky voice as she smiled and blinked back the tears. "It’s just .... it’s never ... I didn’t know it could feel like that .... "

John gathered her against him, swallowing down a lump in his own throat. A surge of incredible tenderness went through him, and he cradled her in his arms, pressing his lips to her hair. He knew, from that moment on, that no matter what it took – fighting, dying, even killing – he would do it to keep this woman safe.

And he also knew that, before this was all over, he might just have to do all three.

He pushed the thought from his mind – that was for tomorrow, it had no place in this moment. This moment all he wanted was to hold her, protect her, love her and make her happy. He kissed her forehead lightly, and she smiled up at him. "Thank you," she whispered, touching his cheek.

"My pleasure, any time," he replied, kissing her lips gently. She could taste herself on him, and the taste was sweet. She remembered the look of delight on his face as he loved her, and her heart filled with emotions she didn’t fully understand. He was so unlike anyone she had ever known. Sometimes exasperating, often confusing, but always so gentle, so strong, so giving, the one being in the universe that she knew she could count on, even in the worst of times. He had proved it over and over again, and was proving it again tonight.

She wanted to give back to him, wanted so much to give him the joy he had given her, but she wasn’t sure if she could. There was so much more than mere physical fulfillment here, and it was alien territory to her. But then, so had anything tech been until a few months ago, and she had surprised herself by learning more than she ever thought she could. Perhaps she could learn this, too. And it would certainly be more enjoyable....

She raised up on her elbow and caressed his face, smiling down into his eyes. "You know, one of the first things I was taught in commando training – you never leave a job half finished." He laughed with delight and raised her palm to his lips, kissing it softly. A shiver ran through her, and she closed her eyes a moment, letting closed off feelings release within her. She knew he would help her again, as he always had from the beginning, and she relaxed and prepared to enjoy what followed.

She traced the lines of his face, really paying attention to what she was seeing. He was a very handsome man, she thought – the short, soft brown hair, the mutable eyes that changed from blue to green to every permutation of the two colors. The straight nose, the generous mouth that smiled so easily, an ability she had always secretly envied him for, the jawline that bespoke both determination and the ability to bend if necessary.

He closed his eyes and sighed, surrendering himself to her, feeling her fingers being replaced by her lips as her explorations continued. Her hair brushed his skin as she kissed down his neck and across his chest, and his breath caught for a moment. He had put his own needs aside for hers, and he could feel himself becoming aroused again, dormant desires awakening within him. He forced himself to breathe slowly, in and out, riding gently on the sea of pleasure, wanting to prolong the feeling as much as he possibly could.

He opened his eyes as Aeryn’s tongue circled one nipple and her fingertips teased the other. The physical and emotional sensations combined to force a moan from him, and he arched against her. "God, yes," he whispered, running his hand lightly up her arm, loving the velvety feel of her skin. It was all so wondrous – he would take nothing for granted this night, and somehow didn’t think he would ever again.

She rose to her knees and swung one leg over, straddling his hips. She could feel him pressing against her, and she could feel her own desires awakening again. She wanted him there, wanted him desperately, but there was more to do before she satisfied that need for both of them. She leaned forward, kissing down his stomach, moving her pelvis, brushing him, hearing his breath coming in ragged gasps. She smiled in secret joy at her womanhood, never before truly feeling the power it gave her, proud and humbled at once by it. For the first time, she wanted to use it all for a man, this man who moved her in ways she would never have thought possible a short time before.

She moved down his body, caressing, kissing, running soft strong fingers up John’s thighs, feeling the tremors vibrate through him. He looked up at her, his eyes sea-dark with passion. His shaft was fully erect and jerked under her touch as she slid a finger up from the base to the head, tickling the skin just behind the head. He laughed deep in his throat. "You’re teasing me, woman," he managed to say, taking one of her hands in his.

"Yes, I am," she said, smiling down at him, continuing her ministrations. "Do you want me to stop?"

He looked into the great blue eyes above him and saw the open invitation there. "Yes," he whispered. "Please, yes.... "

Aeryn gently lubricated the head of his shaft with the pearl of fluid that had escaped, then tasted her fingertips. The fluid was warm and salty like the sea from which he said his remotest ancestors sprang. She leaned forward, running her lips slowly over the head, taking him inch by inch until she held all of him in the warm wetness of her mouth. She paused for a moment, enjoying the feel of him, the sensation of velvet over steel, the hot man-scent of him. Then she began to move, lips caressing, tongue swirling, sucking gently at first then harder as she watched his face out of the tops of her eyes. His head was thrown back, helpless before her attack, hands gripping and releasing the sheets spasmodically. She closed her eyes and continued, feeling herself growing wet and hot in response to his passion. She felt as though she had waited her whole life for this moment, and she wanted to experience every micron of it fully.

As if from a distance, she heard him gasp, "God, Aeryn, it’s so good ..... I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. Please .... "

That was what she was waiting for. Releasing him, she moved up his body again. Raising her hips, she lowered herself slowly onto him, guiding him into the slickness within her, needing as much as she was needed. She felt him fill her, felt her inner muscles begin to clench and release on their own. She rocked forward, balancing herself lightly on his chest, her breasts swaying with the motion of her hips.

John looked up at the wondrous beauty above him, still unable to believe she was here with him, now, in this place. Her eyes were closed as she caressed him deep within her softness, loving the feeling as much as he did. He reached between them, found her nub, and began to tease it, his other hand working on her breasts, massaging each nipple in turn. He needed release desperately, but just as desperately he held himself back, wanting to bring her with him. He thrust his hips up in time with her movements, his pleasure feeding into hers and back through him again, an electric symbiosis.

Aeryn opened her eyes, smiling down at him, running her tongue lightly over her lips, her cheeks flushed, moving with fluid grace above him. She murmured something he couldn’t understand, whether too low for him to hear, or something the translator microbes could not handle. It didn’t matter if he understand the words or not, her face told him the meaning – joy, and fulfillment, and a sort of peace, as if she had come to the end of a long journey and had found her heart’s desire there. His own heart felt full to bursting at that moment, and he smiled back at her.

Try though he might, he felt his control slipping inexorably away from him. He looked into her eyes, and she nodded. "Now, John .... now!"

He let go, and his release slammed into him with the force of a pulse rifle blast, hot and searing, the sweet agony of dying and being reborn, new and whole and clean. He bit his lip to keep from screaming, the muscles cording in his neck, every nerve ending feeling as if it were on fire. It had never been like this before, not even with Alex, and he would never have thought in his wildest dreams that anything could surpass what they had together. He could have died then, and gone to whatever came after a happy man.

She felt him pulse within her, shooting liquid fire deep inside her, filling her to overflowing, and her own passion swept her away with him. She kept squeezing and releasing, milking him for every sweet drop, wave after wave of heat washing over her, her head thrown back, crying out her pleasure.

One final spasm, and she collapsed against his chest, spent, unable to move for a moment. She felt strong arms close around her, gentle hands touching her back, her hair, listened as his pounding heart slowed and steadied and his breathing returned to normal. Her whole life had been spent proving herself with combat and destruction, not showing her emotions. This time, she had proven herself by giving joy to another, and taking it in return, letting her emotions run rampant.

She released him reluctantly and stretched out languidly next to him. She felt a laugh well up from deep within her, and she buried her face in his shoulder.

"What’s so funny?" John asked, smiling down at her.

" Nothing. I’m just .... happy," she said, brushing her hand over his chest.

John took her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I’m glad. I wanted to make you happy, Aeryn. I think I’ve wanted to for a long time. I was just too damn stubborn to realize it."

"So was I," she said, and her face clouded. "What about tomorrow, John? What’s going to happen tomor...."

John silenced her with a gentle finger on her lips. "Whatever happens, we’ll face it together, you and I. We stick together, no one can beat us. We proved it before, we’ll prove it again. All right?" She nodded, a smile banishing the gloom on her striking features and he smiled back. "We need to sleep now – we’ve got a long day ahead."

He reached down to pull the blanket up over them both and settled back down against the pillows. She claimed his lips in a long, soft kiss, joy and sadness mixed in it. No matter how brave his words were, part of her dreaded the morning. She tried not to let her feelings show in her eyes, and was grateful for the approaching darkness. "Thank you, John....for everything," she whispered, touching his face, fixing it in her mind, determined that nothing would make her lose that image, not even death.

John didn’t need to see her face clearly to know what was there – he was sure his own emotions were evident on his features, too. "Thank you," he answered, forcing a smile into his voice. "Good night, Aeryn – sweet dreams."

She turned over and fitted herself against him, spoon fashion, unwilling to give up the warmth of his embrace, pillowing her head against his shoulder. He smiled, his other arm sliding around her waist. She took his hand and cupped it around her breast, and he kissed her shoulder. Sleep claimed him slowly, and he slipped into slumber to the lullaby of her even breathing, the comforting softness of her nestled in his arms. His last conscious thought was a prayer without words, begging any deity that might be listening to watch over her, keep her safe if fate decreed that he could not. There was no more he could do, but it was enough.

 

 

...Storms are raging on a rolling sea

Down the highway of regret

Winds of change are blowing wild and free

But you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.

There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do

Go to the ends of the earth for you

Make you happy, make your dreams come true

To make you feel my love...

--Bob Dylan