Liars, Guns and Money, Part 1: "A Not So Simple Plan"

John: Bluey since we've been together you've shown me some pretty wacky things…

John: Hang on, before we hear of any plan inquiring minds want to know how the hell did you get here?
Stark: I stole a ship
John: No, on the hubcap you were executed, you were dispersed.
Stark: Crichton, this body is only a molecular creation, which enables me to live in your realm. It's merely a vessel for my true incaporial self.
John: You wanna run that by me one more time?

Chiana: Are we gonna rob a bank?
Stark: Yes!
Chiana: (giggles)

D'Argo: When you ask me to do something did I ever question if it was possible?
John: D'Argo
D'Argo: No, I didn't. You're cowards, all of you.

Aeryn: That's not Scorpious, you're having visions again, have a look. See?
John: Sorry about that.
Aeryn: And I'm worried about D'Argo.

John: Did you ever hear of KFC?
Bank supervisor: KFC?
John: It is to my knowledge unique in the universe and unique is always valuable. Now we have managed to procure all eleven secret ingredients. What we need to do now is discuss the terms of….

Natira (to D'Argo): As a race, Luxans can be inartful at love, inadequate at war and intrinsically inept, but this one is intelligent.

John: Are you sure this is going to work?
Stark: Yes it will work I spent too much time thinking it through.
John: I spent too much time thinking through the Farscape project.
Stark: Your side, my side, my side, your side. Now go away, go back to your quarters, get something to eat, take a nap, do nothing, that's what D'Argo said you do best.
John: (pointing gun at Stark) Ground rule, you don't lie to me. Did D'Argo say that?
Stark: No, I'm sorry he didn't.
John: Do you have any other lies you want to confess?
Stark: No.
John: You want to guilt trip me, that's fine, just don't lie to me.

John: Bonnie and Clyde, oh no forget that one was a bad ending.

John: Hey Stark, riddle me this what's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white…

Rygel: One get out of statue, two use gadget to retrieve prize, three jump into containers full of riches. Problem is step one. Frell! The blue bitch said this would be easy.

Rygel: No Dominar should work this hard.

Aeryn: What are you doing?
John: Doing what guys do best, I'm looking for Baywatch. (Seeing Scorpious and Natira) Better yet, the Discovery channel.

John: It's Scorpy he's in my ear. How about some gelatin paste in his ear?

Rygel: Ten percent of this plan is lunacy, fifty percent of these riches is not enough, one hundred percent of dead is dead.

John (to Aeryn): (holding guard's clothes) This will work, trust me. We just have to find a place to get our clothes off.

John: Aeryn, I have to tell you how I feel. I have to tell you.
Aeryn: No you don't.
John: Yes I do, I do.
Aeryn: No you don't.

John: Hiya Bracka. Tell me is the rematch ever better than the original fight?

John: Since I've got you here tell me what the frell did you put in my head?
Scorpious: Some awareness. A neurobiotracer, call it what you like. A tiny chip, a tiny seed that's been growing in your brain touching every aspect of your personality, your memory.
John: Didn't happen to see Luanne Johnson did you?
Scorpious: And whispering advice, I trust it's helped save you once or twice since escaping my Gammack base.

John: I got a piece of you in me, now you got a piece of me in you.

Scorpious: Insert the rod!
John: You're really not my type. Die you grotesque bastard even if it means I die too.
Scorpious: Neither one of us can die.
John: (Sings U.S. National anthem and crawls away)

John: Aeryn, I meant what I said, didn't say.
Aeryn: I know.