Self-Inflicted Wounds
Part 1: Could'a, Would'a, Should'a

D'Argo: Why the hedzmona don't we just jettison this thing into frelling space? Crichton, first he wants to question these creatures then he wants to bury them. I mean why don't we just open the last chamber and ask them where Earth is?
Aeryn: And then he'll die in the first 13 microts like this one did.
D'Argo: Well, death isn't always a bad thing Aeryn. Who wants to live when your place in this universe has been suspended?
Aeryn: Jothee and Chiana are just kids D'Argo.
D'Argo: I don't want to discuss it.
Aeryn: They were rebelling they weren't trying to …
D'Argo: Rebelling?! Rebelling is smoking some galla root, rebelling is not sleeping with…Ah! (hits shield on mystery craft and swears)
Aeryn: Look D'Argo if you want to talk.
D'Argo: I'm not ready.

D'Argo: We're already destroyed Aeryn, it's just that some of us don't know it yet.

John: Pilot, save the golly gee wiz for later, just tell me where it is.

John: Zhaan? D'Argo? You guys okay?
D'Argo: I am but Moya is frelled.
Zhaan: Anyone hear from Aeryn?
Rygel: What about me? No one asks about me.

Rygel: Doesn't simply shooting them dead strike you as viable?

D'Argo: Alright, just calm down Pilot and tell us how you feel.
Pilot: Well I feel…(vomits on them)
D'Argo: I had no idea that he could do that.
Stark: I had no idea anyone could do that.

Aeryn: Do you understand any of those words?
John: Yeah, I watched all kinds of Star Trek, it's just the order they're in.

Neeyala: We've ricochet into the distorted region that divides a wormhole from normal space time.
John: What? I mean, we're not even on the fairway, we're in the rough?

Stark: I have a darkness which frightens lovers away. Whenever I assist the dying I cannot help but absorb a tiny spillet of their existence and over the cycles the endless parade of death, I've accumulated a vast reservoir of evil. I cannot bear to loose the one thing that mitigates this twisted core of my existence.

John: Colonel Klink, Yo! Inspection's over.

Chiana: I mean what can I do about us?
D'Argo: That relationship does not exist.
Chiana: We could die and it exists for me.
D'Argo: If you did not want to marry me you could have found some other way to tell me.
Chiana: When I'm cornered I don't think clearly.
D'Argo: Least now you're speaking the truth.

Rygel: I bet forty mesots she gurgles and dies before she can tell you where Earth is.
John: Hey, Sleeping Beauty wake up and die.

John: Have you ever heard of Earth?
Jool: On Trinika Major the predorian fly transmits a fatal rheumatoid disease called "Arth".
Rygel: Ah, very similar.

John: What is your name?
Jool: Joolushko Tunai Fenta Hovalis
Rygel: What do they call you for short?
Jool: My whole name.

Neeyala: She (Aeryn) doesn't like you.
John: Nah, it's just a phase. It's part of her charm.

John: My module jams in wormholes.

Aeryn: Something wrong?
Stark: You're very pretty.
Aeryn: But I'm not Zhaan right, never be her. It's alright Stark we're going to get her out of here and we're going to put her in the soil she needs to heal.

Jool: What is it you're not telling me?
Chiana: Well that we're in a crisis hairdo so you can either help, shut up, or go back to sleep.
Jool: I won't be spoken to like that by some alley whore.
Rygel: Ha ha, how could she know that about you? (Chiana hits him) Did you know she had a fiancée till she slept with his son?
John: Buckwheat, you still want to get off this boat man?
Rygel: More than ever, this creature sheds…
John: Good cause you're Uncle Sam needs you.

John: This is Farscape One, ya'll leave a light on for us.

Rygel: What's happening?
John: It's your basic ass kickin' wormhole Rygel. How you doing back there?
Rygel: Looouuusy.
John: Excellent. Turn on that alien gizmo, maximum power.
Rygel: Are we dead?
John: Oh no. Rygel, do you know what this is?
Rygel: No.
John: The Holy Grail. The zone. We are in the effin' zone man. This is the dirty little secret of the universe. It all works if you know how to use it.
Rygel: Can these things take us home?
John: In a heartbeat, if you now where you're going.

D'Argo: I'm angry with myself because I can almost forgive her.
Aeryn: Why don't you?
D'Argo: How can I trust Chiana with my heart? Can you trust Crichton again?
Aeryn: He trusts these aliens.
D'Argo: We know nothing about them.
Aeryn: Well I think wormholes blind him.
D'Argo: Well at least he has a hobby.
Aeryn: Help me keep an eye on it?

Rygel: Wormhole…normal space…wormhole…oh what are we doing here?
John: Making seventeen loops to their one each time we lap them it calibrates their position in the slower wall of the wormhole.
Rygel: Engrossing. Who cares? It's only collecting images, none of which mean anything.
John: Well you gotta know how deep the doo-doo is Ryg if you're going to dig your way out.
Rygel: Next gap is the big one right?
John: Yep.
Rygel: Why don't we just escape?
John: Does it ever bother you being selfish?
Rygel: Ha ha, it's self-preservation and no.
John: What about our friends?
Rygel. Ugh what friends? We were thrown together against our will and we're all just trying to make the best of it until we can get the chance to screw the others to get what we want. I vote out at the next gap.

Zhaan: You must remain here and minister these souls. I'm relying on it.
Stark: But I love you.
Zhaan: If I did not feel the same and more could I ask this sacrifice of you?

Rygel: You have no right to make decisions for me (bites John and they come out of the wormhole)
John: Guido we're going back (elbows his nose) Son of a bitch.
Rygel: You broke my nose.
John: You ain't got a nose Guido, you got slits.

Rygel: I won't forget this Crichton. I swear you've attacked me for the last time.
John: You brought it on yourself rug rat.

Zhaan: Do you hope someday to be Dominar Rygel?
Rygel: I am still Dominar, always Dominar.
Zhaan: I mean ruling from a throne rather than a throne sled?
Rygel: They'll never know if I kill Crichton.
Zhaan: But you will. Fool the others if you like, but I see the larger goodness in this small hynerian. Separating this alien ship from Moya must be your first priority Rygel.
Rygel: Have I ever told you that I appreciate your council?
Zhaan: Continuously by accepting it.

Scorpy Clone: I resent you calling me here at a whim.
John: That's the way it works Harvey. If you don't like it I can toss you back in the dumpster. (Dumpster growls). Do you think Scorpy is still alive? Do you think Scorpious is still alive?
Scorpy Clone: Without doubt.
John: What's he doing with the information he stole from my brain?
Scorpy Clone: The knowledge placed there by the Ancients is by now the center piece of a sprawling new research facility.
John: Once he masters wormhole technology what will he use it for?
Scorpy Clone: Faster delivery of pizzas.

Scorpy Clone: I long for the dumpster.

Zhaan: Forgive me Pathfinder Neeyala, but I do not count you as unbiased.
Rygel: Ha like you are. You know what you and Pilot have in common besides big eyes? You're both dying and now you want to take us with you.
John: (hits Rygel with ball) Can it F. Lee. Zhaan, Pilot is unconscious, Moya's nexus system is so backed up the Roto-Rooter man couldn't get it…
Zhaan: I know the litany. John how desperate you must be for this wormhole knowledge.
John: Unfair.
D'Argo: You place your obsession above the lives of your friends.
John: What?
Stark: What have these strangers done to so earn your trust?

D'Argo: I thought you were good with women.
John: I am.
D'Argo: Did you see what happened when she fired at this ship?
John: Actually no. I was looking at the pulse rifle.

D'Argo: Now John, we're trapped in the vawn of a wormhole, Pilot's unconscious, Moya is dying and my son has slept with my betrothed. Lock this woman up!

D'Argo: I cannot take you back Chiana, but I won't leave you alone in pain.

John: Hey Pilot, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Could'a, would'a, should'a.