apricetobepaid

A PRICE TO BE PAID
By Donnie Thomas

Farscape belongs to Hensen and Co.
Summary: I didn’t like the way “Won’t Get Fooled Again” ended, so I came
up with this little tag. No flames please, it’s just my humble opinion.
Spoilers: ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again.’

PART 1
They found him sitting against the back wall, unmoving, his eyes still
wet with tears of anguish and pain, stared straight ahead at nothing. In
the center of the room smoke still rolled off what was left of the
Scarren’s remains.
D’argo cautiously walked over to Crichton, trying not to alarm the
obviously traumatized Human.
“John” D’argo called softly as he crouched down in front of Crichton.
“John, can you hear me?”
Crichton didn’t acknowledge the Luxan’s presence, didn’t move or respond
at all, to D’argo it seemed that the Human was lost in another world.
“Contact Aeryn, tell her we have found Crichton and have her bring the
transport pod here.” D’argo said looking over his shoulder at Chiana,
whose face looked even paler that usual at the condition John was in.
“Chiana” D’argo called again “The interference in here is to strong for
the comm signal to get through, most likely a result of John overloading
the pulse pistol. You will have to exit the building to contact Moya.”
The young Nebari didn’t move, just continued to stare down at Crichton
with a look of pity and horror on her face. After a moment, Chiana
seemed to snap back to reality with a shake of her head.
“Contact Moya, right.” Chiana started to exit the room then seemed to
hesitate, turning her head toward D’argo she asked, “Should I have Aeryn
bring Zhaan with her?”
D’argo turned to look at her, then turned back to Crichton, who still
seemed to be catatonic. “I think that would be for the best.” D’argo
whispered, lowering his head and closing his eyes.
PART 2
On board Moya, Aeryn Sun was just finishing unloading the last of the
supplies they had purchased on the commerce planet from the transport
pod. To say Aeryn was in a bad mood would be an understatement.
“Frell you Crichton!” Aeryn muttered, wiping sweat from her forehead
with the back of her hand. “We have enough problems to worry about
without you adding to them by wandering off.”
Aeryn, Crichton, D’argo, Chiana, and Rygel had all gone down to the
commerce planet to buy supplies for Moya. Zhaan had stayed onboard to
monitor the system for any sign of Peacekeeper activity.
After they had landed on the planet they had all agreed to separate in
order to find what they needed faster. Rygel had gone off in one
direction, while D’argo and Chiana went off in another. Aeryn had
started to follow Crichton when he stopped her.
“Why don’t we split up, we can cover more ground that way.” John had
said in a clipped tone of voice.
Aeryn had been confused and a little hurt by his suggestion “You want to
go on alone?” she had asked in an incredulous tone.
“Makes sense, that way we can get what we need and get out of here that
much faster.” John had replied matter of factly. Then, before Aeryn
could object, he had rounded a corner and was gone.
Aeryn had just shaken her head and stalked off in the opposite
direction, still confused over Crichton’s behavior.
In a few arns they had met back at the transport pod to go back to the
ship, there was only one problem…no Crichton.
They had agreed that D’argo and Chiana would stay on the planet and
search for John while Aeryn and Rygel would fly the transport pod back
to Moya and unload the supplies.
As soon as the transport pod landed in the maintenance bay however,
Rygel had made a mad dash for his quarters, leaving Aeryn to unload the
supplies alone.
So here she was, alone in the maintenance bay tired and sweaty, trying
to decide if she should be angry or worried about Crichton.
*Why didn’t I just go with him anyway?* Aeryn thought as she sat down
heavily on the ramp leading into the transport pod. *Why didn’t he want
me with him? We always accompany each other when we go planet-side.*
Again the hurt came back when she thought about John not wanting her to
go with him. What had changed? They had been getting very close, but
after he had escaped marriage to Katralla and evaded Scorpius, things
had cooled off between them.
John had started keeping to himself, playing that Earth game he called
‘Chess’ almost constantly, and avoiding her whenever he could get away
with it.
Aeryn shook her head sharply and stood up “Frell that Human anyway.”
Aeryn cursed darkly “I should just space him and be done with it, at
least then…”
Aeryn abruptly stopped mid-sentence as it hit her, the reason John had
distanced himself from her.
Aeryn recalled those moments right before they had gone down to the
Sebacean colony, she had rebuffed his attempt at intimacy, then avoided
him, telling him she needed space, to which John had replied “Fine, have
the whole universe” and stalked off.
Aeryn slumped back down again as she realized that John may have finally
gotten tired of her shutting him out.
*What if John decides that it’s no longer worth the effort?* Aeryn
thought as she put her head in her hands *What will I do if he decides
to end our relationship?*
Aeryn realized at that moment that she couldn’t live without John, when
he got back she would go to him and talk to him, tell him about her
fears and the reasons for her walls.
John once told her that she had changed, and it was true, she had
lowered her walls and let him in, and they had gotten closer. But after
that recording, after telling John about Velorek, Aeryn had shut John
out again.
*And now I may have driven him away for good.* Aeryn thought glumly as
she squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to keep her tears at bay.
“Aeryn! Aeryn are you there? Oh gods Aeryn, please answer!” Aeryn looked
up at the sound of Chiana’s frantic voice coming through her comm badge.
“I hear you Chiana, what’s wrong? Have you found Crichton?” Aeryn asked,
apprehension evident in her tone of voice.
“Y-Yes…we found him.” Chiana’s voice was subdued now and Aeryn felt her
breath catch in her throat.
“I’ve sent Pilot our location, and he has already relayed it to the
transport pod…Get here fast Aeryn, and you’d better bring Zhaan with
you.” Aeryn felt her legs go out from under her as Chiana cut
communication, almost overwhelmed by fear and concern.
After a moment to compose herself, Aeryn contacted Zhaan. “Zhaan, meet
me in maintenance bay 2, I need you to accompany me down to the planet.”
Aeryn closed her eyes and tried not to choke on her next words.
“Something has happened to John.”
PART 3
As Aeryn and Zhaan exited the transport pod they saw Chiana racing
towards them. “In here! John’s in here, Zhaan you have to do something!”
The Nebari was close to tears, a fact that alarmed both Zhaan and Aeryn.
“Calm down Chiana” Zhaan said as she laid a soothing hand on Chiana’s
shoulder. “Tell us what happened.”
Chiana lead them towards the room D’argo and Crichton were in as she
told them what she knew. “D’argo and I were looking for Crichton when we
heard an explosion, we followed the sound to this building, where we
found the remains of some type of machine and what was left of a
Scarren’s body.”
Here Chiana paused to point out the Scarren’s remains before continuing.
“Over here against the back wall we found Crichton just sitting there
staring at nothing, D’argo went over and spoke to him, but John didn’t
respond, he didn’t even move. D’argo sent me outside to contact you and
then he moved John over there.”
Chiana pointed farther down along the wall to a spot near the rear door,
Aeryn and Zhaan followed her gaze and saw D’argo holding Crichton up,
trying to get him to walk towards them.
“Come on John” D’argo said softly, “The transport pod is here, it’s time
to return to Moya.”
John nodded slowly and started walking towards Zhaan and the others.
“Return to Moya, right…” John’s voice trailed off as Aeryn came to stand
in front of him.
“Let me help you John.” Aeryn said softly, her heart breaking to see him
like this, it was like John had disappeared and left a shell of himself
behind.
John continued walking towards the transport pod, “Won’t get fooled
again. There’s something I need to remember, something important.” John
muttered continuously on the way back to Moya, rocking back and forth in
Aeryn’s arms, oblivious to the concerned looks of his shipmates.
PART 4
Aeryn stood silently in the doorway to John’s quarters, concerned eyes
watching the Human pace around the room muttering over and over again
about trying to remember something. It had been two weekens since
Crichton’s capture by the Scarren, after they had arrived back on Moya
D’argo and Zhaan had taken John to the infirmary where he spent the next
three days recovering from various minor injuries.
John had told them all about his experience with the Scarren’s
holographic machine, it frightened Aeryn how close to madness John
sounded when he talked about seeing his dead mother again. It had tore
at her heart to see him brought to tears at having to relive that
painful memory.
After a few more days things seemed to be back to normal, not
withstanding John’s apparent obsession that there was something he
needed to remember.
Aeryn had gotten John alone and talked to him about her feelings and her
fears. John had smiled and said he understood, then they had kissed, and
that had lead to…
“Hey sunshine, what’s up?” John, who had stopped his pacing and was now
standing beside her, startled Aeryn out of her reverie.
Aeryn smiled and took his hand. “Nothing John, just came by to say
hello.”
John smiled and pulled her inside…
PART 5
John lay awake in his quarters on Moya listening to the quiet hum of
the Leviathan as she made her way through space.
*These last few weeks sure have been hell.* Crichton thought to himself
as he struggled to get out of bed without waking Aeryn, who lay beside
him totally oblivious to the restlessness of her companion.
John sighed as he stood beside the bed to get dressed, he needed some
time to himself, to think things through and put everything into
perspective.
Leaving his quarters quietly, John wandered aimlessly for a few arns
until he found himself on the terrace, the sight of the stars moving in
graceful symmetry eased and John’s heart and filled him with a sense of
peace.
*Sometimes I wish I could just hide out here on the terrace forever.*
John thought ruefully as he sank down on the floor with his back against
the wall.
“Oh God, what I wouldn’t give for a six pack right about now.” John said
softly, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall as
the events of the past few weeks came rushing in on him.
John thought back to a few weeks earlier, he had been angry and hurt
that Aeryn had pushed him away, claiming that she needed more space. He
had of course tried to talk to her about it, but Aeryn wasn’t listening.
Later, after everything that had happened on that Sebacean colony with
Katralla and narrowly escaping Scorpius, John had decided that if Aeryn
wanted her space, she could have it.
So he had started staying away from her, waiting for Aeryn to come to
him, but as time went by John began to get angry, why was she always
doing this to him? Wanting to be close one minute and pushing him away
the next. John decided that he’d had enough, if Aeryn wanted a
relationship with him she would have to drop those walls she’d built
around herself and let him in.
So when Aeryn had finally started to warm up to him again, John had
started avoiding her. He saw the hurt and confused look on her face and
that just made him angrier, angry at her for being hurt by what he was
doing and angry with himself for hurting her.
John remembered when they’d come across the last commerce planet.
D’argo, Chiana, Aeryn, Rygel, and himself had gone down to the planet to
gather supplies for Moya.
D’argo and Chiana had immediately gone off together and Rygel had went
off on his own, leaving John and Aeryn alone, he had started off down
the street when he had felt Aeryn begin to follow him.
John had turned to her and suggested that they split up so they could
get what they needed faster, Aeryn had looked at him with an incredulous
expression on her face that had pissed him off to no end. She could blow
him off and go her own way but he couldn’t?
So before Aeryn could speak another word, John had stalked off, leaving
Aeryn standing alone in the middle of the street.
He had wandered around for a few arns, bartering for supplies, he never
even saw the Scarren, just felt the pain of the stun blast before the
darkness had claimed him, then waking up, seeing his father standing
over him… John’s throat constricted and his chest tightened as he
thought about his latest trip ‘home’.
“I think ‘trip’ is the operative word here.” John chuckled as he thought
of D’argo decked out in clothes that must have came right out of the
70’s. “I mean Jesus, the whole thing was surreal.” John whispered,
shaking his head at the absurdity of the situation.
John’s eyes grew somber as other memories came forward to grab him, his
father, DK, his mother… At this John began to sob brokenly, of all the
things that had happened to him out here, having to relive his mother's
illness and death had nearly broken him.
All the sorrow and pain that he had felt when she died had come boiling
back to the surface as she had stood before him, dark circles under
weary eyes, her body frail and brittle from the disease that had slowly
destroyed her.
Worst of all for John however, had been her weak voice, pleading with
him, begging him not to leave her alone.
John furiously wiped the tears from his eyes as he stood up and turned
to look out at the stars again, he had nearly been broken by the
Scarren’s torture, but he had survived. He was battered and bruised, but
with the help of his friends he’d pull through.
John smiled as he thought about how they had all cared for him after
D’argo had found him, the big Luxan had stayed with him, trying to get
him to talk while Chiana had summoned Zhaan and Aeryn.
After they had gotten him back to Moya, Zhaan had kept him in the
infirmary for three solar days, despite his protestations that he was
fine. Zhaan finally relented when the last of his injuries was healed.
John knew the others were concerned about his mental health, had been
for some time as a matter of fact, and he really couldn’t blame them.
It certainly didn’t help matters that he had become a bit obsessed with
trying to conjure up a lost memory ever since he had gotten back to
Moya. He knew there was something he needed to remember, something
important, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what it was.
John chuckled as he thought about how he must have looked to Aeryn when
she had caught him muttering to himself in his quarters today.
Now John smiled brightly, Aeryn was the only positive thing to come out
of all this. After Zhaan had let him leave the infirmary, Aeryn had come
to see how he was doing.
They had talked for arns about her doubts and fears about their
relationship, Aeryn admitted that she did indeed have feelings for him.
She had clutched his hand and apologized for pushing him away, promising
never to do it again.
John chuckled as he thought about where that conversation had lead; they
had given themselves to each other that night, tearing down the last of
the walls that had separated them for so long.
As John made his way back to his quarters, he realized that he had
finally put things into perspective, the experience with the Scarren had
reopened old wounds, but in time they would heal again.
John entered his quarters and crawled back into bed beside Aeryn, who
snuggled into him, laying her head on his shoulder and sighing
contentedly.
As sleep finally claimed him, only one thought went through John’s mind.
*It’s a small price to pay Aeryn, as long as I have you, it’s all worth
it.*
END