Anywhere But Here
Author - Kavanne
Summary - J/A shippy fic.
Notes - There may be a sequel, I’ll see what feedback I get. There is no
death in this story! Thank you.
Feedback - Kavanne@aol.com. Please review.
He didn’t know why he kept it there. But know he knew what he was going to do
with it. His paper and pen, a primitive reminder of IASA and home and now,
somewhere private to write down what he couldn’t say, or what he was afraid
to say.
The pen touched the paper hesitantly, he wasn’t exactly the poetic type so he
would just have to write what he thought and hoped it sounded good. Even
though no one else would read it.‘I wish I could tell you so many things, but you push me away as soon as you
pull me close. I’m scared too, but I cannot begin to imagine how you feel.
I wish I could put into words the feelings I hold dear to my heart, for you,
and only you. There are three words that could tell a fraction of it, I Love
You.
I wish that you loved me too, I wish that you felt what I do. The things that
yank at my heart and start to rip me, only to be comforted by someone else.
But never you.
I wish it was you.
I wish that gaps didn’t exist, that we were close, and I could hold you
without the heartache that grips me after. The ‘no’ you have always said
after it has happened. The way my heart rips in two.
I wish I could show you all the beautiful things of my planet, the familiar
stars at night. I always search in space, look at the stars, for anything
that would lead me home, Orion, The Seven Sisters, The Horse head Nebula and
. . . the North Star.
I wish I could show you the wonders of the Earth, the green, green grass of
the hills and the crystalline waters of the seas.
I wish I could say I Love You. But that will never be, because you don’t love
me.Yours always,
John Crichton.’A single tear fell onto the page and smudged his name. He folded the page, he
needed to feel to himself that he had told her that he loved her, and he
always will. He put the letter in the envelope and signed her name on the
front. He sat there, just staring at the envelope. He got up sadly and walked
to her chamber.
He set the envelope down on the nearest table to the door, she wouldn’t be
able to read it, but he had given it to her and he could rest slightly easier
tonight.* * * *
She noticed the paper on the table just as she was walking out, it caught her
eye. That hadn’t been there last night. She did not recognise the script at
all, it didn’t look vaguely Sebacean, Hynerian, Luxan, Delvian or Nebari. She
wanted to know what it said. As she picked it up a piece of paper fell out
the top, as she unfolded it there was more of the strange text and a smudged
word at the bottom. Maybe Pilot could translate it?“Pilot, could you start working on translating this. I’ve never seen the
language or code before.” she had a inkling as to whose language it may be,
and she would like to see what it said.
“Certainly Officer Sun. Is it important?”
“Um. . . Yes, very. How long will it take?” Aeryn asked tentatively.
“Approximately 10 arns. Shall I contact you as soon as I have finished?”
“Yes, and prepare a printout too.” As she walked out she turned back and
added, “Tell no one else about this Pilot.”
“Of course Officer Sun.”* * * *
No one had seen Crichton at breakfast and he wasn’t anywhere to be seen, his
comm was switched off and the DRD’s hadn’t been able to locate him. D’argo
couldn’t even smell him, and that was worrying.
He hadn’t been at lunch and his food was still intact. He wasn’t in his
chamber, he wasn’t on the terrace, and he wasn’t in Farscape 1.
Pilot finally finished translating, he had read a little, but Moya had told
him to stop as it was private.
“Officer Sun, I have prepared translated and prepared a printout.” The voice
over the comm said.
“Thank you Pilot, I will be down in 5 microns.”
“What has he translated?” Chiana asked nosily.
“Nothing. . . To concern yourself with.”
“Ah.” Chiana said, just expectant enough to make Aeryn suspect something of
Chiana. Which of course, she shouldn’t.“Ah, Officer Sun. Here is he printout you asked for.” He handed her the
parchment. She took it and strode out fast, almost running.
As she entered her chamber she unfolded the paper. Her eyes read every word
closely,‘I wish I could tell you so many things, but you push me away as soon as you
pull me close. I’m scared too, but I cannot begin to imagine how you feel.
I wish I could put into words the feelings I hold dear to my heart, for you,
and only you. There are three words that could tell a fraction of it, I Love
You.
I wish that you loved me too, I wish that you felt what I do. The things that
yank at my heart and start to rip me, only to be comforted by someone else.
But never you.
I wish it was you.
I wish that gaps didn’t exist, that we were close, and I could hold you
without the heartache that grips me after. The ‘no’ you have always said
after it has happened. The way my heart rips in two.
I wish I could show you all the beautiful things of my planet, the familiar
stars at night. I always search in space, look at the stars, for anything
that would lead me home, Orion, The Seven Sisters, The Horse head Nebula or
the North Star.
I wish I could show you the wonders of the Earth, the green, green grass of
the hills and the crystalline waters of the seas.
I wish I could say I Love You. But that will never be, because you don’t love
me.Yours always,
John Crichton.’She had never read anything so deep, was that really what she did to him? Or
was this a joke by Chiana? No, not even Chiana could write such things, the
only person on this ship with a soul worthy of this was John Crichton. And he
thought that she hated him. Oh, what had she done? She had to find him. She
clutched both copies and set off.
“Pilot, put double the number of DRD’s on John.” He had been waiting for this.
“Yes Officer Sun.”
“Is his comm on?”
“No. I’m sorry.” Crichton had switched it off some time ago, “His last known
location was your quarters.”
“Thank you, Pilot.”She had been looking for arns, it was now well into the sleep cycle and the
others had not bothered to stay up. As long as he didn’t leave Moya he was
safe. Pilot’s voice startled her;
“A DRD has located the Commander, on tier 5, junction 12.”
“Is he moving?”
“No, he seemed to ignore the DRD too. He looks extremely tired.”
“Thank you Pilot. I will go to him.” She was relatively near his position and
it took her next to no time to run there.“John. I. . . I read it.” he didn’t respond at all, except with a red eyed
blink. This was not good. She sat herself next to his limp body and rested
her head on his shoulder. She felt him tense uneasily.
“What is it John? Why won’t you come back?”
“You.” he said, almost choking, his gaze not faltering from straight ahead of
him.
“I know what you wrote, I know why you cried.”
“Do you.” his voice staying weak and helpless.
“Yes, I do.”
“But . . . .Do you care?”
“Very much.” she almost whispered
“I’ve never seen you like this before.” he turned his head towards her. “I
never thought I’d see the day when you helped me.” she smiled.
“Sorry, but we all have to return the favour someday.” There was a very long
pause as she settled beside him. “I love you too.”
“How, how did you read the letter?” he asked, the thought that she shouldn’t
have been able to read it crossed his mind.
“I asked Pilot to translate it.”
“How did you know it was from me?” stupid question.
“Well , 1. You signed your name at the bottom and 2. No one else on this ship
could write such things.” She turned round, he was asleep, by the look of him
he hadn’t slept for days. Aeryn decided to stay, she wanted to stay there.* * * *
She woke up, the presence beside her was missing. As soon as it registered
Aeryn sat bolt upright and her eyes scanned the surrounding area. Nothing,
except a rather dead looking DRD.
“Pilot, where is Crichton?”
“In the central chamber, I believe he is. . . . drinking?!” he exclaimed as
Crichton’s image came up on his screen.
“I’ll be there in a microt Pilot.” she’d only ever seen him drink the way
Pilot had described in his voice once before. When Namtar couldn’t give him a
way home.“Oh, Aeryn. How ya doing?” his voice slurred so much she could hardly make
out what he was saying.
“Crichton, why are you drinking?”
“Tastes good. I dunno.” he shrugged as best he could.
“What is wrong with you?!” she demanded.
“You see, well. . . I realised why you came to see me yesterday. It. . .
wasn’t ‘coz you liked me, it was ‘coz you felt sorry for me.” he explained,
seemingly oblivious to who he was talking to.
“No, no it wasn’t.... Oh frell this is useless!” she gave him a pantak jab,
she wasn’t going to talk to him until he was sober. “Zhaan meet me in the
med. bay, I need you to flush all this alcohol out of John.”“Aeryn, what.....?” he commented as he sat bolt upright and realised he was
suffering from a hangover.
“You were drunk.” she commented dryly.
“Yeah, I think I worked that out. Why was I drunk?” he asked, frustrated at
his inability to remember the last half of the day.
“What’s the last thing you remember John?” Zhaan asked, she was still
concerned for him, she had never seen anyone so drunk in her entire life.
“I, er, It doesn’t matter.” he motioned with his hand as if to say ‘forget
it’.
“It does.”
“Sitting in hall. Aeryn there.” he replied, making it as short as possible.
He felt like dren. His skin was starting to itch too. “I’ll go to bed now.”
he got up and walked out, leaving Zhaan standing there, wondering what the
frell was wrong with him.* * * *
He was woken by D’argo shouting over his communicator. His skin was crawling
and he knew scratching probably wouldn’t make it better. He looked down at
his body. Red spots. Chicken frelling Pox! In the middle of the unchartered
territories, but he hadn’t had it before and he may have been a carrier.
He still had a headache.
“Don’t wanna get up, ‘m sick!” he mumbled over the communicator.
“Right, we’re coming to get you.” D’argo threatened. Crichton sat bolt
upright, if they caught it, it could wreak havoc with their nervous systems.
“No! Don’t do that! Gimme a couple of microns.” he toned down slightly.
“Fine.” The communication terminated.He walked into command, he hung his head, hoping they wouldn’t notice. Rygel
was the first one to burst out laughing, followed promptly by D’argo and
Chiana. Even the DRD’s seemed amused.
“OK, OK, quit it. It’s just Chicken Pox, harmless Earth thing. And no, it is
not funny! I itch all over.” he tried vainly to assert himself, Zhaan
listened and so did Aeryn, curiously.
“Is there any way to get rid of it?” Zhaan questioned, frankly quite
fascinated by this new anomaly.
“No, but there are ways to sooth it until it goes away. IT IS ALSO HIGHLY
CONTAGIOUS!” Crichton shouted above everyone else and they fell silent.
“Get out!” Rygel demanded, “I do not wish to be contaminated by the likes of
you.”
“Actually, your eminence, you may already have the dormant bacteria on you.
Seeing as I must have been a carrier.” Rygel stared aghast and immediately
left, for a long shower, no doubt.
“Are you sure it is this ‘Chicken Pox’ Crichton?” Aeryn asked, once more,
dryly. He caught her eye, but she immediately looked away and focussed her
attention on Zhaan. He was trying to forget what she had said, it was best
for both of them if nothing happened.
“Itching, spots, burning skin. Yup.”
“I advise that you go and be alone for however long it takes for this to pass
over. We will send DRD’s to supply food. I suggest you go to the Cargo hold
on tier 11, there are a few spare beds there.”
“Thanks Zhaan, knew I could trust you.” he replied sarcastically. Then he
turned to leave. “I’ll be in the cargo hold on tier 11.”* * * *
Her skin felt burning and itching as she made her way to Zhaan. She was
afraid.
“Zhaan.” she poked her head around the door, Zhaan was asleep, but Aeryn felt
this important enough to wake her. “Zhaan!” she whispered loudly, through
gritted teeth.
“Aeryn,” she asked as she got up “You have got it!” she exclaimed as she saw
Aeryn. “Dear, I’m afraid you’ll have to join Crichton and wait.” Aeryn’s head
shot up.
“I can’t do that!”
“I’m sorry, but you have to. Cargo bay tier 11. Maybe Crichton will find some
way to release the pain. He knows more about it that we do.” Aeryn muttered
something as she wandered out and made her way down there.
What if he remembers? Remembers he was drunk. Will he do the same thing?He burst out laughing as she sulkily entered the room.
“I was hoping Rygel would catch it, but obviously my wish got diverted!”
“Crichton, do not push me.” noticing the anger in her voice he went onto a
more serious note himself, he couldn’t forget, the letter, the corridor.
“Thank you.” She swung round and stood bolt upright.
“For what?”
“For helping me. Although you were never supposed to read that letter.”
“Why not?” she asked, even though she wouldn’t admit it, she was somewhat
intrigued.
“It was kinda private. I mean I juts wanted to write it down, let it all out,
ya know.” he paused and looked up, “But you were never supposed to actually
read it.”
“I thought that it might have been important.”
“It was. . . . It is.” he glanced down and looked up again. An awkward
silence, lead by Aeryn, followed.
“I. . . I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For what I did to you.” she stated simply.
“Ah, it wasn’t you. It was me. I just fell in love with the wrong person.”
“No, no, you didn’t.” she admitted quietly, just so he could hear it. Sensing
her discomfort he changed the subject.
“Here, this should help with the heat.” he handed her a wet, cold towel. As
she took it she started speaking.
“Don’t change the subject Crichton. We have to talk about this sometime.” he
chuckled. “What?” she asked.
“I am usually the one to ask you to talk. Looks like I’m rubbing off on you.”
Aeryn’s eyes shot up. “Oh, no, no. It means your becoming more like me.
Learning new qualities.”
“Oh.” she sounded slightly disappointed. A DRD buzzed in with 2 trays of food
cubes, followed by another with two cups of water.
“Crichton, Aeryn, DRD’s should be arriving with food about now.” Zhaan gave th
e old news over the comm.
“It’s already here Zhaan. Thanks.”
“Are both of you OK?”
“Yes.” they answered. The link switched off and they were left alone once
more.
“Aeryn, why? Why did you come here? You could have gone anywhere on Moya.”
“The others told me to come here. So I did.”
“Right.” he slurred.
“And plus, I wanted some company.”
“Only company?” he asked quietly.
“No.” she replied with a smile as all her defences fell crumbling to the
ground.The End????????
Oh, I’m so cruel.