Funerary Monuments
by Shaye
DISCLAIMER: Farscape is the genius of O'Bannon, Henson, Sci-Fi &etc.
SUMMARY: Aeryn finds a part of her past, only she's a little too late.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Mind the Baby, Won't Get Fooled Again
ARCHIVING: The usual suspects will receive a copy. Others, ask.
NOTES: Set an indefinite distance in the future. I'm a sick bastard, and I'm sorry. Right now, it's unbeta-ed, but I think I'm okay. Gilina hit me hard with this one around three hours ago. Feedback will make me produce more. <hint, hint>
~*~
"Thou know'st tis common. All that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity." ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Aeryn Sun stood in the fading light of the afternoon, staring at two of the many shallow graves arranged in orderly rows across the battle-scarred field. A grove of trees grew nearby, strangely untouched by the events only a half-cycle in the past. Aeryn found she could barely breathe as she glanced again at the data console she held in her hand, not quite believing it could be true.
But it was.
She didn't even register the soft sounds of footsteps coming through the leaves until a voice broke her concentration. "Hey."
Sniffing loudly, Aeryn turned to John, who stood close beside her. Right where she needed him. Her voice was raw with unshed tears. "This is it."
John frowned. "Are you sure?"
Giving him a slight nod, she pointed to the ground. John glanced at the two small gravemarkers, noting that while the symbols meant little to him, they obviously meant something to her.
"I was so close," she whispered hoarsely. John placed a hand on her shoulder, strengthening her to go on. "It seems ironic that they should end up serving together again at the end of their lives. Even more that they were buried beside one another."
Tears pricked now at John's eyes. "Maybe...maybe somebody knew. Who they were, what they were to each other."
"At first I couldn't believe I had found them both. But this console confirms it. The final resting places of Lt. Talyn Sun and Lt. Aeryn Relka. My father and mother." Aeryn's voice had become strangely detached.
An odd look crossed John's face. "Your mother was an Aeryn too?"
She pressed her lips together, unable to speak. Nodding, the slight motion caused the tears welling in her eyes to spill over and wet her cheeks. Aeryn quickly wiped them away.
Firmly, John took her arms and turned her to face him. "Hey, Aeryn. You don't have to be strong right now. I know--" His voice broke over a sob, and he paused before going on. "I know that when my mom died, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. I wasn't there when it happened, either. And if I ever get back to Earth, and Dad's gone...I can't even think about it." She refused to look at him, still valiantly fighting her tears. "Aeryn," he cried, "Aeryn, look at me."
Slowly, Aeryn raised her eyes to meet his, the pain in them causing his heart to break all over again. Reaching out to stroke her face, John added softly, "I know you don't have a lot of memories of them. But you have to hold on to what you've got. It's what will get you through this."
The stoic appearance of Aeryn's face finally crumbled. She grimaced in anguish, turning into John's tight embrace. As small whimpering sobs escaped her lips, Aeryn's head dropped to his shoulder, and she let herself grieve. John cried for Aeryn, rocking her and stroking her hair.
It was less than a hundred microts later that Aeryn broke away, pulling her hair back from her face in fistfuls and pacing restlessly. "Do you know, that this battle was so harsh, the ones who survived were given honorable discharge and allowed to settle wherever they wished?"
John shook his head, reaching out to her again. "Aeryn..."
Instead of pulling away, Aeryn put her hands in his. "They were so close. I was so close. Less than half a cycle ago, they were alive and stood in this very place. They were together, if they'd survived...if only..."
"Aeryn, you can't do this to yourself," he breathed.
She squeezed his hands hard, and for a few awful moments, John thought she might come undone.
"The trouble is..." She took a deep breath, composing herself. "I never got to...to--" She broke off, not knowing quite what it was that she missed the most. It was so hard for her to express any emotion she came across. She turned back to the graves of her parents, still holding John's hand.
"I think I know what you mean. And I'm not just saying that." Taking a deep breath, he murmured, "I'm sorry. So, so sorry."
Still gazing at the marker, she frowned. "I know."
He reluctantly left her for a few microts, walking purposefully into the woods. When he emerged, Aeryn noticed he was carrying some of the native plant life.
In response to her questioning look, he eased her to the ground, explaining, "In my culture, you put flowers on the graves of people you care about. It lets others know that the deceased were loved."
She smiled at him through fresh tears, arranging the flowers as best as she knew how. "Thank you."
John brushed the hair out of her face, asking, "Do you want to be alone for awhile?"
Aeryn thought for a moment before answering. "No. Stay with me here, for a little bit. Then we should get back to the transport pod."
They rose from the ground, and John stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. After a few microts of silence, he spoke into her ear. "I swear in the name of everything holy that nothing like this will <ever> happen to our children." As he spoke, he softly caressed Aeryn's barely-swollen abdomen.
She quickly turned to face him, crushing him in another embrace. "No, it won't." She smiled through her tears, and they held each other tightly until after the sun had set.
As they made their way back to the transport pod, Aeryn took one last look at the pallid funerary monuments of her parents, making her own promise to her unborn child. Aeryn grew up never knowing the love of her parents, never knowing love at all. But this child, she swore, would know love greater than what any Peacekeeper thought possible.
FINIS
"Hold your parents close, for the world will seem a strange and lonely place when they are gone." ~William Luce, "The Belle of Amherst"