Just Another Day in the Life of John Crichton...or is it?
Author: LeatherGirl
Summary: Something strange is happening on Moya and no one can quite figure out why Crichton suddenly seems to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Archiving: anywhere-contact me first please!
Category: Action
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: none really, but all relationships of characters are pretty much up to date to ACN
Disclaimers: the usual
Note from Author: This story is copyrighted. It is also an entry for the second annual SACCer Challenge. Enjoy! Feedback is greatly appreciated!
Hissing with intense heat and steam, the duct spewed its contents out into the interior of the docking bay. This only added to the unstable atmosphere as sparks were flying in every direction from their source, John’s module. But this was not the end of the events gone awry. No, there was more. The temperature was dipping quickly to frosty temperatures that even Moya could not tolerate. A thick smell of heavy oil-scented smoke billowed throughout the bay. The floor of the docking bay was coated with a brownish-green thin liquid that resembled gooey slime and smelled worse than anything imaginable in the entire Uncharted Territories. The lights faltered for several moments as things continued to worsen.
Aeryn cowered in her Prowler’s cockpit, a loaded pulse rifle securely fastened in each white-knuckled, gripping hand. Chianna was hanging for dear life onto the side of the Moya’s interior wall, shivering and struggling not to let her body weight pull her down onto the floor. Zhaan stood on top of a crate, taking the scene in with a shocked expression. Rygel had just hovered into the docking bay and stopped short, avoiding a flow of steam from the duct above and arriving at Zhaan’s side with an equal expression on his face. Pilot’s image seemed frozen on the clamshell nearby as he pondered the scene before him. D’Argo stood in the center of the bay next to the Transport Pod. The front of the pod was crunched into the side of Moya’s interior wall, with various shards of metal littered around the ground near the scene of impact. Pooled around D’Argo’s stilled feet were several small crates smashed and leaking the horrible liquid that had now made its way to the entrance leading into the rest of Moya. He wore a look of shock on his face. The aliens had been standing in confusion for what seemed like several monens to John. He stood near D’Argo, frozen in step, absorbing the scene around him.
That’s the precise moment when everyone heard the loud, undistinguishable cracking sound of something breaking. There was only enough time to look. A portion of a duct came hurtling down from the ceiling of Moya…in the direction of John Crichton.
John would have laughed at the unanimous scream from each and every alien aboard Moya including Pilot. He probably would have laughed at the look on his face, too. There wasn’t even a second to think. The duct hurled down and came crashing into the floor with a loud bang, sending pieces of biomechanoid parts into the air and splashing droplets of liquid on everyone and everything in the docking bay. As the pieces settled and everyone had a chance to take their next breath, only a cry of surprise could be heard from the most mystified individual in the room. John Crichton stood, sprayed from his waist down in liquid guck, metal shards scattered around him, staring at the damaged duct and then making eye contact with every individual in the room.
“What the Frell just happened?” John finally asked, breaking the silence of conversation since the transport pod slid into the wall of the docking bay. Silence continued for another micron.
“How did you get out of the way so fast? I didn’t even see you move!” Chianna asked, still clinging to the wall. She tilted her head back at Crichton with a bewildered look spreading across her face.
“You tell me. I didn’t.” John stated distractedly, glancing nervously back up at the ceiling, slightly crouching in a pose as if ready to dart out of the way of another falling duct.
“I’ve got a better question…what happened in here?” Zhaan asked. She glanced down at the oozing liquid and then to John, thinking he would be able to answer. John gave her a bewildered look and shrugged before turning his gaze to D’Argo, who still work a look of shock on his face. The look of shock slowly melted into one of frustration.
“The transport pod malfunctioned…probably because of some repairs you made, no doubt. I couldn’t stop it from smashing into Moya. Pilot, is Moya okay?” D’Argo explained. He loosened his tense pose and began to shift his feet. The goo strung upwards, clinging to his boot as he lifted his foot to examine the foul liquid. D’Argo frowned and lowered his foot, again looking to Crichton.
“Moya is okay…but I don’t think we’ll be able to use the transport pod anymore…it’s beyond repair.” Pilot reported, still taking in the scene displayed to him.
“Next time you decide to take Chianna with you to gather supplies I suggest you secure Chianna in an airlock! Her gift for procuring items of unusual content seems to be quite frequent on these little trips to the commerce planets!” Aeryn stated angrily, standing up in her Prowler and throwing an angry glare at Chianna.
“Indeed, perhaps you should have brought a Dominar such as myself, gifted with the ways of negotiation, to bring aboard some items of real value!” Rygel stated with a huff. He turned his throne sled towards the exit and headed out of the docking bay.
“Those crates were filled with a very rare synthetic liquid used to strengthen fellip nectar. Kylian Fectar. When the two liquids are stored together, over time, they converge and form quite a tasty and heavily rich drink!” Chianna stated, obviously offended by the way her shipmates viewed her shopping talents. She jumped down from the wall and wringing out her arms, sore from hanging onto the wall for so long. Why she had run to the wall for protection in the first place was beyond even her sense of reasoning.
“You bought fermenting supplies for alcohol? I didn’t think they had stuff like that out here. Nice choice, Chi. Next time, just buy the fellip nectar and save us all the headache.” John stated, thrusting his hand out as he talked.
“If D’Argo hadn’t stored them so close to the exit of the transport pod, we wouldn’t have this problem, now would we?” Chianna asked, cocking her head to the right. She posed with a smile on her face and looked as D’Argo began to sneer at her. She was beginning to enjoy…what was it that John said…pissing off him? Chianna crumpled her nose at that thought and turned her attention back to the matters at hand.
“Just let it go, Pip. Why don’t you go get something to clean this up, huh? Pilot, get some DRDs down here. This place is a mess.” John ordered. Chianna gave him a look but John pretended not to see it. She spun on her heels and left the room with her nose in the air. John looked to Zhaan and Aeryn, who were still observing the scene quietly.
“Girls, girls. It’s just a little sticky goo. It’s not some green slime monster that’s gonna come out of the swamp and snatch you at the ankles and tug you under or anything. Come on.” John stated with a smile. He mushed his feet around in the goo to show them just how harmless the stuff was. Unfortunately, at that moment, John’s foot began to slide out of control, heading in one direction while the rest of his body decided to fall backwards. John let out a yelp and grimaced for impact. But the slimy impact never came. John opened his eyes and found himself in Aeryn’s arms. She stared at him with a nonchalant look and helped him back to his feet. John looked to her with one eyebrow raised and straightened with embarrassment.
“Gee, thanks. How’d you get to me so fast?” John frowned looking to Aeryn with question. The Prowler was several metras away from where they stood now. Aeryn smiled and shrugged, before walking over and picking up her weapons she had dropped in the cockpit of her Prowler.
“PeaceKeeper instinct, I guess.” Aeryn checked her weapons over and looked to Pilot’s image.
“Pilot, are systems intact?”
“Yyyes…I believe so. Moya and I are finding it difficult to understand how this all happened.” Pilot wore a look of concern on his face as he fiddled with some controls in front of him. Systems were still in check. The steam from the duct within the docking bay came to a slow steady whir and soon dissipated completely.
“Friday the 13th.” John stated, displaying a foolish look on his face that Aeryn could not possibly interpret. “Déjà vu. Come on, people, don’t you ever experience freak events that just don’t make sense? It happens all the time on Earth.”
“What are you frelling talking about? We must clean this place up! This dren is unimaginably the worst smelling thing since Rygel.” D’Argo ordered, slightly angered over his poor landing.
“Better yet, let’s just let Moya flush this entire bay out into space and save ourselves the trouble…and our stomachs.” John said, daring not to inhale the foul scent too deeply.
“By the Goddess, what else is going to go wrong here?” Zhaan finally said. The others turned to her almost forgetting that she was even in the room. Zhaan looked to the three with a concerned expression and stepped off the crate, her bare foot forming into the goo as she walked out of the room. John grimaced at the fact that Zhaan didn’t seem to mind walking barefoot in the slime from Hell. The fact that she was bare foot told him that she had been previously meditating…or whatever it was that Zhaan did when she was on her own time.
“At least you didn’t hit my module.” John stated turning to his precious ship he spent much of his spare time spiffing up. John’s eyes widened in shock and his mouth dropped open. His module was crisped to the bare skeleton in one large, nasty gaping hole to the side of the cockpit. John slipped and slid over to his module and caressed the still singeing metal with painful realization. He looked back to Aeryn and D’Argo allowing barely a whimper to escape past his lips.
D’Argo smirked and turned his attention to cleaning up the mess he had caused. Aeryn holstered her weapons. After the initial shock of the transport pod ramming towards her, she was beginning to calm down. Only moments before, she and Crichton had been discussing certain matters beside her Prowler. When the transport pod came crashing towards them, Aeryn saw Crichton had been in the path of destruction. She only glanced away for a second to see if the pod would stop in time before hitting the wall. When she looked back, Crichton was fine and barely inches from the steaming wreckage. The door to the pod flung open, Chianna raced out of the pod in fear with D’Argo close behind and Crichton running to get away in case of an explosion. How she ended up in the cockpit of her own Prowler was beyond her reasoning.
“Tell you what. I’m just going to walk out of here right now and pretend that nothing has happened and that my module is fine. See ya.” Crichton stated quickly without waiting for a response and headed out of the room. Aeryn turned to D’Argo and shook her head.
“For once we can’t blame this on Crichton.” Aeryn stated with a smile. D’Argo lightened for a moment to share a smile with Aeryn. A chunk of loose metal slid off of the transport pod and landed with a splash nearby. D’Argo’s smile soiled slightly and he turned back to cleaning up the mess. Several DRDs began to filter into the room, pausing at the very edge of the pool of slime threatening to spread into the hall. They activated several mechanisms to rise out from their body shells, poking and prodding at the mysterious liquid before burning their lasers onto the stuff to see what would happen.
“I’m going to talk to Pilot. I’m sure Chianna will show up sooner or later…she can only hide for so long.” Aeryn stated, referring to the fact that Chianna was young and didn’t like to face up to her mistakes too readily. D’Argo nodded in agreement, his face displaying a look of disgust. Aeryn then headed off towards Pilots den.
*****
Crichton only had a moment to yell one word of warning before the throne sled Rygel had just stepped off began to go haywire. The throne sled shook with a maddening rage and began to overheat, sending sparks into the air. The machine then began to zig zag around the room, barely smashing into the walls several times in Command. John ducked twice to get out of the possessed chair’s target, once shoving Rygel underneath a control table as it whisked past one of his whiskers. John hovered near Rygel and called to Pilot. There was no answer. Suddenly, without warning, the throne sled exploded and zoomed at light speed-right for Rygel. Rygel muttered helplessly in fear and John pushed Rygel out of the path of the doomed sled, surely to be struck instead. To Crichton and Rygel’s amazement, just as the heat of flames brushed before them, the throne sled clunked to the floor. The fire was completely out, leaving behind a burnt, crisp throne sled. Rygel looked to Crichton with absolute astonishment only to receive the same look back. The two scurried out from underneath the table and stepped back several large steps. John nervously twiddled his fingers and looked to Rygel. The same thought passed through their minds…get out before something else happens! Rygel scurried in one direction and John in the other.
Meandering through the halls, Chianna laughed to herself, thinking of the look on D’Argo’s face, as he had stood there with the gooey Kylian Fectar soothing around his feet. She still pondered how things had turned out so completely frelled up. But living in the Uncharted Territories was beginning to show her that nothing should surprise her. Guilt began to creep into her conscience as she realized the situation was partly her fault. Chianna was in such deep thought, that she barely had time to step out of the way when she saw him coming. He was running at full speed right towards her. Did he even see her? Chianna was about to call out his name when he flew right past her, his force sending a chilling breeze across her face. Chianna started back a few steps, almost losing her balance. She glanced back at him as he disappeared from view.
“How the frell did he do that?” Chianna asked with a furrowed brow. She stood in her usual pose, wondering how the human could have possibly avoided the head-on collision. She shook her head and continued on down the hallway. Must be seeing things, I guess.
John ran towards Zhaan’s quarters with beads of sweat pouring down his forehead. He was beginning to get freaked out. A million scenarios passed through his mind. For everything they had been through since he arrived in the Uncharted Territories, there was always a clue that showed itself sooner or later. Something that at least gave a hint as to what could possibly be causing things to go haywire. How could he have so many near-death experiences in one day and not have one scratch on his body? Did he suddenly become somehow invincible, defy the laws of science, and react with light speed motion?
John nearly missed Zhaan’s quarters, sliding past her doorway and clinging onto the opened doors to stop his body in motion. At that moment, the doors began to slide shut at amazing speed, threatening to slam John’s hand. John thrust his hand back, for sure thinking he was too late. Somehow, once again, as the doors slammed shut just inches from his face, he had avoided harming himself. Zhaan had turned at the shuffle at the doorway and was standing with a look of confusion. She noted John’s stressed expression and opened the doors to stand face to face with him. John barely noticed that she was completely in the nude. He shuffled over to the farthest side of the room away from the doorway and leaned up against the wall.
Zhaan opened her mouth.
“Don’t ask.” John said. He ruffled his hands through his hair and looked down at his black shirt and leather pants he was wearing today. He barely noticed how dirty and slime-coated his clothing was. He thought of his module and looked up to Zhaan.
“Zhaan, something weird is definitely going on here. It’s like I’m stuck in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Things…keep happening to me. I can’t avoid them but then I don’t need to, ya know?” John asked with a frown and looked to Zhaan. For the first time, he noticed the pile of blue clothing scattered amongst the floor. John blushed and barely hid a smile. He didn’t mind looking at Zhaan but he didn’t feel it was appropriate. Zhaan must have sensed this because she scooped down and picked up some clothing. She wrapped her robe around herself and stepped up to John.
“Crichton, I was in the middle of a very important part of the Seek. If you don’t mind, I’d like to continue…alone.” Zhaan stated, with an inquiring look. John sensed that Zhaan really didn’t care too much at the moment what was happening. She probably figures I’m just on another one of my unusual Earth tangents. Crichton thought, tightening his lips. He held up his hands to show he would back off and dropped them loosely to his sides. He spun around Zhaan, keeping an eye on her and backed out of the room, carefully observing each step near the clothing, in the event that he should somehow slip. Zhaan smiled at Crichton, her eyes following him all the way out of the room.
Crichton sighed heavily and headed towards Pilots den. Maybe he’d know what was going on.
*****
“Pilot, you’re sensors are wrong! Moya is not functioning properly in the docking bay. How do you explain the huge gaping hole in her interior wall where the transport pod stopped? Surely, there are components that have been damaged. Where was all that steam coming from?” Aeryn was arguing with Pilot as she stood at the edge of his control center, leaning over to view the controls. She threw a stern glance at Pilot when he tried to shove her hand off of a control but continued her pursuit in finding what was causing all the chaos.
“The DRDs are finishing their analysis of the transport pod and find nothing but a few shorted wires in the hetch drive. Very minor and common, in fact. Now Moya will have to grow another transport pod. That’ll only drain her further and we’ll need to stop at another commerce planet for more Iriscentent Fluid.” Pilot argued, ignoring much of what Aeryn said.
“Oh, I’m sure Chianna wouldn’t mind that. Something went wrong.” Aeryn said with a smirk. She looked at Pilot and dropped her tense shoulders.
“Sorry, but it was like Commander Crichton stated…a freak accident.” Pilot said, maintaining eye contact with Aeryn. Aeryn let out a frustrated sigh.
“Pilot!” John’s voice carried into the large den from down the hallway. Aeryn turned to look as Crichton appeared through the doorway with a slightly frazzled look on his face.
John took one step towards the two and stopped. He looked to his left. Then he looked to his right. He glanced over his shoulder to look back into the hallway. He peered up, inspecting with his eyes every dench of the dimly lit ceiling. Finally, he let his slightly satisfied gaze fall upon Pilot and Aeryn. Aeryn had a look of bewilderment on her face, which was mirrored perfectly by Pilot behind her.
“Just checking.” John stated, nodding his head. He took a few more steps, being careful to be at the center of the walkway towards Pilot. He leaned to look over the edge into the darkness below. He wondered for a moment just how far down this room stretched. But he sure as hezmana didn’t want to find out.
“What…never mind.” Aeryn stated, shaking her head.
She started to turn back to Pilot, but something caught her eye. There was movement behind Crichton. A DRD was blindly zooming towards Pilot, somehow being damaged during the crash of the transport pod. Aeryn shouted out a warning as Crichton drew closer. Crichton, oblivious to the DRD, only blinked, thinking, whatever it was, it probably wouldn’t hurt him. Aeryn grabbed her pulse rifle and aimed it down towards the DRD to stop it in its tracks. She thought for sure the creature would somehow trip Crichton, sending him over the edge of the pathway. An energy blast streaked past Crichton’s right leg. Crichton spun to watch the events unfold. The energy blast struck the DRD, but to everyone’s dismay, bounced off of its metal exterior and struck the ceiling. Suddenly, another loud cracking noise exploded into the den. Crichton knew that sound all too well. His initial plan was to jump forward. But as part of the ceiling began to fall down towards him, he realized there was only one way out. He leapt off the pathway.
“John!!” Aeryn shouted in surprise.
“Crichton!” Pilot shouted.
Bits and Pieces of metal shattered onto the pathway with dusty debris trailing down from a gaping hole in the ceiling above. Aeryn rushed forward. Relief spread over her. Two white-knuckled hands held dearly onto the edge of the pathway. Aeryn followed the hands with her eyes down to see Crichton dangling helplessly off the edge of the pathway, a look of frustration settling over his face. Aeryn helped John up and pulled him onto the pathway, falling onto her butt in the process. John nearly rolled onto her lap and lay flat over the rubble, taking in a deep breath before sitting up beside Aeryn. They glanced at each other and both immediately stood up and cleared their throats, aware of Pilot’s presence. John glanced around to see the little DRD cowering in a corner near the entrance into the den. He turned to Pilot and walked up to him sternly. Aeryn followed, unsure of what he was thinking.
“Pilot, please tell me I’m dreaming. Enlighten me, please. Just make something up.” John stated. He looked at Pilot’s confused expression and threw his head back in frustration. He rubbed his eyes and looked back at Aeryn, who was staring at him with a look that stated that he was going insane.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Commander Crichton.” Pilot stated, more confused than ever. Sometimes those DRDs just didn’t do a good enough job showing him everything that went on in Moya with these inhabitants.
“I’m talking about what just happened here. What happened with Sparky’s floating throne, the door malfunction in Zhaan’s quarters…the frelling duct that nearly squashed me to death in the docking bay! I’ve had just about enough of this. I want to know what the joke is and why I’m not laughing!” John roared, pointing to the mess on the pathway as he spoke.
“You should be happy you’re still alive. You shouldn’t be so worried because if you’re not dead by now, I’m sure nothing else can happen to change that.” Aeryn stated, with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. She then turned and left the two alone, stepping carefully over the rubble as she walked out of the den. John watched her exit with a gaping mouth. John let his arms out and dropped them with a slap on his sides and turned back to Pilot. Pilot wore a blank look on his face. His large eyes blinked at John. The look was making John really annoyed. He huffed and spun around. He then charged out of Pilot’s den, not being careful to step over the mess on the pathway.
*****
Somehow, John ended back up in the docking bay. He raised his eyebrows, impressed by how well D’Argo, Chianna, and the DRDs had cleaned up the mess. Chianna was polishing off what was left of the goo on D’Argo’s boots, humming a song that actually sounded somewhat nice to John. D’Argo was busily clearing away the damaged duct that had nearly ended Crichton’s life earlier. He still had an expression of disgust on his face. The DRDs were finishing repairing the wall where the transport pod had stopped. The transport pod rested off to the side with several DRDs musing over it, fixing any damages. John caught sight of his module and was once again reminded of why he didn’t want to be in there in the first place. The damage would take months to repair. His heart sank as he walked over to it, wondering what could have possibly damaged the exterior.
“Hey, D’Argo, did you see anything near my module that could have caused this?” John asked, turning to look at D’Argo.
“If you’re wondering what smashed into that worthless pod of yours, ask Chianna, she’s the one that started all this!” D’Argo stated. Chianna stood up immediately with a call of surprise rising out of her throat. She slammed D’Argo’s boots down on the floor and walked straight up to D’Argo.
“Oh boy, here we go.” John muttered, barely loud enough for them to hear. It didn’t matter. D’Argo and Chianna immediately began to get into a fighting match, shouting at each other and blaming each other for everything that had gone wrong that day. John rolled his eyes and leaned onto his module, his back to the ‘music’ and looking at the damage with impatience.
“If you hadn’t bought that worthless cargo, we wouldn’t be cleaning up this dren, would we?” D’Argo charged.
“If you hadn’t decided to venture down on another commerce planet to find some more useless information on your son, we wouldn’t have had a problem, now would we?” Chianna stated. She had hit below the belt. Crichton frowned and mouthed an “ooh” as he listened on.
“You didn’t have to tag along like a little child, scaring away the local merchants, you Tralk!” D’Argo returned the bite of the argument. John raised his eyebrows, waiting for more. Chianna started back with her usual shocked squeak. This was becoming amusing. Suddenly, the argument stopped. John almost didn’t want to turn around. He could read their expressions already. They were turned on by the argument. Suddenly, they exited the room faster than the argument had started, leaving John alone to his thoughts and the damage before him.
Letting out a sigh, John twiddled with the exposed wires, inspecting what was still intact. He was not aware of the dangling wires from the module hanging beside his knees. Dangling dangerously close to a small puddle of oil pooling onto the floor at his feet. Suddenly, the module somehow activated and power was turned on, John jumped in surprise, throwing back his hand after a small shock from the live wires. He moved to turn the ship off, when he suddenly slid on the oil, losing all sense of balance.
John opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor beside his module. His left leg soaked in oil. He glanced around to see if anything was about to fall on him. The room was quite still. John noticed the sparking wires dangling just denches from his foot. He nervously rolled to his right and shuffled several metras away from the oil, unfortunately leaving a slight trail of oil in his wake. He scurried up against a wall and scanned everything around himself, making sure he wasn’t in any immediate danger to any more “freak accidents”. He began to replay the entire day in his mind, raking through every moment, trying to pin point just exactly where everything began to go wrong. But as he replayed the day over twice in his mind, he came up with nothing.
“Wrong place at the wrong time?” John mumbled out loud. “Just a bad day?”
He twisted these thoughts over and over in his mind. There had to be an answer. What the yotz was causing everything in this frelling universe to try to kill him? Was it Scorpius? Was he willing these things to happen, somehow mentally controlling each of these situations? Nah. He’d have shown himself by now. John racked his brain until he could no more. At least by staying still, nothing could happen to him...or could it?
Crichton was beginning to think like the scientist he was, formulating a theory. The odds of having so many close calls were highly unusual, but plausible. Again, he was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time…could happen to anyone, really. But why didn’t anyone else have any close calls? Rygel’s possessed chair incident crossed John’s mind and he shook his head. Nah, the chair would probably have killed Rygel…after all, every time John had had a close call, he found it wasn’t very close at all. Had it been anyone else…John sat upright. He suddenly realized what was there in front of him the entire time.
Shards of the canister that had previously held the Kylian Fectar were sprinkled within one last tiny puddle of the goo. John crawled over to the canister and brought his hand out, almost rearing his hand back with caution as he carefully placed his hand onto one of the shards of glass. He gently scooped up a small helping of the goo and slowly turned the goo around in the light, observing the tiny bubbles suspended within the brownish-green blob sparkle. Surely something as harmless as goo could not be causing everything that was happening. John tilted his head as he gaped at the goo. Things began to replay in his mind once more.
The transport pod was screaming to a halt, smashing into Moya’s interior while John felt a funny twinge and the breeze from the pod swooshed past his face, nearly grazing him in the process. He had felt that funny twinge once again when standing before D’Argo…just before the duct came crashing down towards him. And again, every time he had had a near accident, that funny twinge was there. He had felt like his entire body was buzzing with an electrical impulse. Did his body somehow re-molecularize over a couple denches? John thought of the incident in Pilot’s den. He felt it even then. Then he thought of Aeryn’s sudden movements. He hadn’t actually seen her jump up and cower into her Prowler. But he had only looked away for a second. What about Chianna? He had almost run her over, though he was preoccupied at the time, he still recalled somehow she wasn’t in the way at the last second-but he didn’t even see her flinch a muscle save the tensed expression she wore, waiting to be smashed into. John looked to the goo and released his hold on the glass immediately. The glass fell onto the goo with a splat and John backed away once more.
Suddenly, a loud screech hissed from behind him. John barely turned around in time to see the wall behind him beginning to tear. The only thing between the wall and him was outer space. John widened his eyes in fear. The force from the vacuum forming from the tear began to suck everything towards it. Oh frell, I’m dead for sure!
John squeezed his eyes shut and felt his body start to slide across the floor at increasing speed towards the tear. He allowed his fingers to scrape across the floor as he did so, trying to scream out for help. The vacuum was overwhelming. The goo, the shards of glass, stray tools, metal parts, everything that wasn’t bolted down in the docking bay was flying past him and out the tear. John saw his module move slightly towards the chaos and he widened his eyes even more. Pilot’s image appeared on the clamshell, a look of sheer terror on his face as he was shouting to John, though he could not hear him over the noise. His life flashed throughout his mind, as he knew he was finished for good this time. His body began to lift up into the rushing air. Just as John’s feet reached the tear, everything fell to the ground with a thud, including John. John shook his head and looked back at the tear. To his amazement, a large section of the outer casing damaged earlier on his module was warped over the tear, preventing the tear from creating any more havoc. John let out a long, deep breath and looked at the mess around him. He then glanced up to Pilot’s image. Pilot’s mouth hung open in surprise but his eyes displayed relief.
“Now do you believe me?” John stated, lifting himself up off the ground. He glanced back at the now thinned puddle of goo and to Pilot once more. “Pilot, have everyone meet in Command. I think I’ve figured out what’s going on here.”
“As you wish, Commander Crichton.” Pilot stated and his image disappeared. John rolled his head around on his neck and then headed out of the docking bay, carefully observing everything around him as he walked.
*****
Chianna sat on D’Argo’s lap as they rested in a corner in Command. They quietly were giggling and talking to each other. Aeryn stood, polishing one of her pulse rifles. Rygel cowered beside Zhaan, who was staring off into the view screen with an impatient expression. Rygel occasionally sent a glance back to his damaged throne sled, still steaming on the floor where he and Crichton had left it last. John entered into Command, bringing everyone’s attention to him as he carried one unbroken bottle of the goo Chianna had procured. He gently set it down on the strategy table and folded his arms over his chest. He wore an expression of confidence.
Aeryn put down her weapon and peered at the bottle, as did the others in the room. She looked to Crichton with in question and waited for him to start talking.
“Aeryn, how far was the Prowler from the transport pod when it crashed?” John asked, turning his gaze to her. Aeryn shrugged.
“Two metras? Why?”
“Chianna, did you even move a muscle when I came running at you in the hall?” John continued. He looked over his shoulder at her.
“No, you somehow moved out of the way in time.” Chianna answered. John turned his gaze to D’Argo.
“You didn’t happen to have any close calls today, did you?” John asked. D’Argo, confused by the ‘close calls’ expression wrinkled his face, but thought of an answer as well.
“Have you forgotten about the huge dent in Moya’s interior wall? I do believe I crashed the transport pod.” D’Argo stated sarcastically. John slipped an impatient smile into his gaze.
“No, after that. You didn’t almost get electrocuted or have something nearly crush you to death?” John asked.
“John, none of your questions make any sense. What are you thinking? Why have you brought us all here?” Zhaan asked impatiently, leaning forward and resting her hands on the strategy table before her. Rygel shuffled forward onto the table to take a closer look at the contents of the bottle.
“It seems to me that this liquid goo that Chianna bought has some other qualities to it than just to spike a drink. I ran a test on this stuff and I found living cells in it. This frelling dren has intelligent life living inside of it! I don’t even want to think of what it would do if you drank it.” John revealed, pointing to the goo in disgust.
“And you think they had something to do with all your little accidents today?” Aeryn asked, her eyebrows rose. She obviously was thinking that John was losing his mind.
“Got any other ideas? Somehow, this stuff creates another dimension of sorts. I could be standing in the path of a pulse rifle’s fire and suddenly be just a few denches to the side, without even blinking an eye. How do you explain arriving so far from where we were standing before the crash in just a microt? And Chianna, I know neither of us moved in that hallway. I just can’t figure out why this stuff is targeting me.” John asked in a challenging voice. Aeryn gave him a look and turned back to polishing her weapon.
“You may have something there, John. Let me sample this and run a few tests.” Zhaan stated, looking to the bottle.
“Oh no, I don’t think so. We’re just going to dump this stuff off into space and forget about it. In fact, anything that has come in contact with it should go to.” John said, holding up his hands briefly.
“That would mean that we all would have to destroy most of the docking bay. And your pants would definitely have to go.” Chianna stated, with a smirk on her face. Aeryn shared the look and John glanced down at his stained clothing. He let out a grumble and looked back to Zhaan.
“Run the tests.” Crichton then turned and left Command, mumbling something under his breath.
*****
Crichton walked the halls through Moya with extreme caution, watching his every step, just waiting for something else to happen. The events of the day were crushing down on him. He made his way to his quarters and sighed as he entered them, glancing around to make sure the area was secure.
Nothing made sense. There was no connection. Everything that had happened was random. John plopped himself down on his bed and placed his hands and arms up underneath his head. He looked back down at his pants, suddenly remembering how filthy they were. John slowly got up and reached for a fresh pair of pants. That’s when he stopped and froze. Across from him, placed on a small table by his bed, lay his pulse rifle. The pulse rifle had been turned on. The muzzle was pointing straight at him. Bewildered, John’s mind didn’t even register what could have possibly activated the gun in the first place. A bolt of light flashed out of the pulse rifle, streaming right towards him. There was no time for him to move. Not even a microt.
*****
“Do you think maybe Crichton has finally just lost his mind?” Chianna asked as she, D’Argo, and Aeryn sat in the Galley, munching on food cubes.
“Well, he’s not the only one who’s had strange things happen to him today.” Aeryn pointed out. She was beginning to think Crichton was on to something.
“Please, I am still trying to deal with the dren on my boots and everything else in the docking bay for that matter.” D’Argo stated. He frustratingly threw a food cube into his mouth, munching on it with concentration on his face.
“Perhaps we should tie you down somewhere on Moya next time we decide to go down to another commerce planet.” Aeryn said. She looked directly at Chianna.
“Where’d that come from? Come on, everyone needs to loosen up around here, all right? I thought that adding a little boost to what we have left of the fellip nectar would surely be what everyone around here needs!” Chianna stated, straightening her back and cocking her head towards Aeryn.
“Say this Kylian Fectar does have living organisms inside of it. You brought an alien on board that could threaten the entire crew!” Aeryn argued, tensing up as well.
“Threatening the crew?! Are you kidding me? That stuff has probably been the reason why Crichton is still alive. Why any of us are still alive! Maybe it’s a good thing!” Chianna stated, growing angry as her voice rose.
“Girls, please...” D’Argo started. He stopped when he realized there was nothing he could say or do to stop them from arguing. Sighing, he got up and left the galley, seemingly unnoticed. The two girls were standing across from each other at the table, now, glaring at each other. Without saying another word, Chianna turned on her heels and stalked out of the galley as well. Aeryn paused for a moment before leaving the galley herself.
*****
Rygel rumbled through the pile of debris scattered by the covered tear in the wall of the docking bay that John had encountered earlier. There had to be something he could use to build himself another throne sled. Several DRDs were patching up the tear above him. D’Argo walked into the room, headed towards the damaged transport pod. He entered the pod and took a sniff of the air within and nearly lost his lunch. The Kylian Fectar had spilled inside as well. Zhaan entered the room, observing how well it had been cleaned since she last saw it.
“D’Argo, where’s Crichton? I wanted to share the test results with him but he didn’t answer his comms. I checked his quarters and he was gone.” Zhaan asked.
“Zhaan, Crichton is probably locking himself in an air lock so that nothing else could possibly harm him.” D’Argo stated absentmindedly.
Chianna entered the docking bay at the moment and glanced around, before heading over to a crate and sitting down on it. She looked at Zhaan and D’Argo, waiting for them to continue. A few microts later, Aeryn arrived. She scowled at Chianna and noticed everyone else was in the bay as well, except for Crichton. She headed over to her Prowler.
“Aeryn, have you seen Crichton?” Zhaan asked, growing worried.
“No, and I don’t know where he was last night either!” Aeryn stated, shooting a look at Chianna. Chianna smiled devilishly in return.
“Pilot, can you track down Crichton for me?” Zhaan asked over her comms.
“He’s headed towards the docking bay.” Pilot’s voice carried over the comms.
“Thank you Pilot.” Zhaan stated, relieved. She waited patiently as the others carried on with what they were doing.
John stumbled erratically into the docking bay, a look of sheer terror and confusion on his face. Zhaan looked to him with concern and reached her hands out to him. John brushed her away and headed straight for his damaged module. His shipmates noticed his odd behavior and turned to watch him.
He was now wearing different pants, to Chianna’s surprise. But he definitely didn’t look refreshed. John popped open his module and quickly scurried into the cockpit. Once settled inside, he stopped, not closing the hood and just stared back at his shipmates.
“Bad day.” John stated as if having to explain himself.
“John, the tests confirmed a living bacteria in the Kylian Fectar. When I tried to test it a second time, my equipment exploded.” Zhaan stated, unsettled by her last statement.
“You didn’t get hurt?” John asked, turning his head to look at her sideways.
“No, somehow, I escaped injury. I suspect that this bacterium is the cause for all the strange events that have threatened our lives today. Perhaps even saving our lives.” Zhaan stated. John cautiously stepped out of the safety of his cockpit and walked up to Zhaan. He stared her straight in the eyes and swallowed hard.
“Are you saying that this bacteria from hell is messing with our minds? It’s playing a game with us? Great! Why not!” John stated throwing his arms up in the air to gesture how ridiculous the thought was to him.
“Then why hasn’t everyone had a close call today? Why are they all centered around Crichton?” D’Argo asked.
“Perhaps his human physiology is more sensitive to the bacteria than any of us. Only more tests can determine…” Zhaan was cut off.
“More tests? Are you kidding me? Those microscopic terrorists blew up your equipment! How do you propose to study this stuff?” John asked, growing more and more bewildered by the moment. This all had to be a dream. Maybe he drank too much fellip nectar the night before and was drooling and babbling in his sleep while the rest of his shipmates wondered why he lost his mind. This scenario was becoming all too familiar to John. He had rattlers in his stomach.
“John, I talked with Pilot. We agree every last bottle of this Kylian Fectar should be destroyed immediately, perhaps sent off into space and starburst as far from it as possible.”
“Maybe we should send more than that into space!” Rygel stated, referring to Chianna’s mistake in buying the liquid in the first place. Chianna looked to him with hurt in her eyes but anger on her face.
“Quiet, Frog-boy!” Chianna stated and said nothing more.
“This stuff is everywhere. It’s on the DRDs, on my pants, on the rags we used to clean it up, in every little nook and cranny imaginable. How do you suggest we go about this, Zhaan?” John asked, growing impatient. Zhaan smiled. John knew that smile and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer.
“We blow up this room…the fire would surely kill off the bacteria. After my equipment exploded, I extinguished the fire it created and found the bacteria had been destroyed.” Zhaan stated calmly.
“Blow up the docking bay? Are…are you crazy? Aeryn’s Prowler, the other transport pod…MY MODULE! I don’t think so, Zhaan.” John raised his voice in anger. He turned to the others.
“Come on, guys, there has to be another way. Maybe we can turn this room into an inferno but I’m sure as hell not going to let my module be destroyed in the process!” John argued.
“We can place protective covers on them, Crichton. Besides, the Kylian Fectar was mostly on the floor, not on my Prowler or your module. The landing gear on both of them can withstand extreme heat for short periods of time.” Aeryn reasoned. Crichton glanced at her unthankfully, thinking she would have at least allied with him.
“Fine. But if anything happens…” Crichton stated with a pointing finger.
“Nothing will happen.” Aeryn cut him off.
“Let’s do it then, Zhaan stated with a smile.
*****
John’s sleek but dirtied leather pants lay in a crumpled pile next to D’Argo’s large sturdy boots. Several unbroken jars of the Kylian Fectar rested around them, along with a puddle of the contents on the floor. Miscellaneous debris was also brushed over to the pile of contaminated objects. John and D’Argo stared at the pile, mourning the fact they would both lose precious items from their wardrobe. Chianna smirked and almost shared a look with Aeryn about this, but realized she was still mad at Aeryn. Rygel stood on the ground, nearly dwarfed by his company, holding a shard of metal he had found before with a metallic jewel embedded in it. John glanced down, seeing the glint in the light and snatched it from Rygel’s hands and threw it onto the pile centered in the middle of the docking bay. Three large metallic tarps were draped securely over Aeryn’s Prowler, John’s module, and the extra transport pod. The entire bay was deserted by the DRDs. Zhaan blessed the room before they closed the doors to the bay in front of them.
Pilot announced he was ready to flush Moya’s systems out of the room and create a flammable atmosphere. The crew waited, holding their breath, staring at the wall in front of them. A monen later, a large boom rocked the ship, emanating from behind the door as Pilot ignited the atmosphere within the docking bay. The crew fell to the ground as Moya rocked back and forth until finally settling.
“My sensors show the bacteria has been completely destroyed. I’m afraid the transport pod suffered a bit more damage than it already had, though.” Pilot announced after a brief moment of silence. The crew reassembled themselves, embarrassingly jumping off of the other he or she landed on.
“My module…is it…” John asked, afraid to hear the answer.
“It’s fine. As well as the Prowler and other transport pod.” Pilot answered.
“Thank you!” John whispered, pointing his eyes to the ceiling. Aeryn looked to him and shook her head, confused every day by something new the human managed to come up with.
“Huh, survived another day in the Uncharted Territories. Who’s hungry?” Chianna asked with a grin.
“Did you have to ask?” Rygel stated and began to scurry down the hall towards the Galley. Chianna quickly caught up to him and picked him up happily, frightening the small creature slightly. They disappeared from sight.
Zhaan let out a breath she had been holding and smiled at the others.
“I’ll be in my quarters.” Zhaan stated and hurried down the hall as well. The look on her face told the others not to question any further. D’Argo looked at the company he was in and decided he didn’t want to stay much longer to see what else would happen.
“I…I have some…some things to do, yeah.” D’Argo stated, trying to come up with an excuse. He nodded his head as if to assure himself and walked away from Aeryn and John, leaving them alone.
John looked to Aeryn and smiled with relief and a hint of playfulness in his eyes. Aeryn looked back at him, still not completely being able to figure out every expression from this being.
“I’m in need of some serious refreshments. Care to join me?” John stated, holding a hand out towards the hallway.
“I could use something to eat, myself. This day has become more than even I can handle.” Aeryn stated. John stepped forward and began to head down the hallway. A movement caught Aeryn’s eye.
“Crichton!” Aeryn shouted out in warning.
“Not again!” John exclaimed.
Somehow, a DRD had managed to cut away a piece of the casing in the ceiling above John while doing repairs. The casing crashed down towards Crichton but Aeryn swiped him out of the way just in time. The two lay on the ground catching their breath and stared at each other, their eyes asking if the other was all right. John looked to the casing as did Aeryn and lay his head down on the floor.
“I thought we took care of the problem!” Aeryn stated.
“Yeah. So did I.” John said and placed a hand on his head.
“Bad day?” Aeryn said, turning to him as if to start a new conversation.
“Just another day in the life of John Crichton.” John groaned.
THE END
NO LEATHER PANTS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY! (Don’t worry. John will get himself another pair real soon! And D’Argo is sure to have another pair of boots somewhere! Yes, Rygel get his throne sled back as well.)