MATCHMAKER 5

By:     Jigs & Officer Don	
Feedback:  Any and all comments welcome.  Email: jigsaw4@a... 
or marks@c...
Archiving:  Please e-mail us first
Rating: PG-13
Category: Action/adventure
Warnings: Possible references to scenes from the 
Premiere through 'The Ugly Truth'
Summary: John and D'Argo run into an old friend on a 
supply run.
Disclaimer: Regrettably we have no claim to Farscape; 
we're just borrowing the characters for the SACC 
FanFiction Challenge 2000.

Zhaan, Rygel, Chiana and Jena were present as the 
transport pod docked, followed closely by Jena's ship. 
D'Argo hobbled out of the pod, pain written all over his 
face, his left thigh covered in dark blood.
"Frelling lizards!" He growled as he slumped against the 
struts of the pod's ramp for support. Noting the look of 
distress on Chiana's face he grumbled an explanation, 
"fortunately it's only a flesh wound, but it hurts like 
Hezmana!"
The little Nebari rushed to his side and slipped her arm 
around his thick waist. "C'mon Dar, let's get you to 
medical."
"Yes, I need to take a look at that wound, make sure the 
blood is clear. You will need a course of antibiotics to 
prevent infection." Although concerned for her friend, 
Zhaan took her medical duties very seriously; they were 
always the priority.
Chiana smiled up at D'Argo, her big, black eyes 
conveying sympathy, "and I'll help make it better too," 
she cooed, stroking his chest.
Blushing as much as is possible for a Luxan, D'Argo 
shushed Chiana as John emerged from Jena's star darter. 
"Great little ride you've got, Jena. Handles just like 
Aeryn's prowler - only different!" John laughed as he 
jumped down to the flight deck.
"My 'little ride' is nothing like a prowler!" Replied Jena, 
indignant that her star darter would be compared to a 
common PK issue prowler.
"I knew I'd get a bite," John grinned as he ambled over to 
D'Argo. "How's the leg, buddy?"
"I’ll live," he grimaced.
"You better," grinned Chiana, "I'm not done with you 
yet!"
"Oh please!" Rygel groused, "I'm surprised you haven't 
killed him by now yourself." The diminutive dominar 
shook his head and floated out of the docking bay.
"Oh, I almost forgot…." John said, fishing in his pocket 
for the mysterious pouch. "I have a gift for you from the 
Tellez."
Jena eyed John suspiciously as he reached for her hand, 
pouring the contents into her open palm - five gleaming 
data crystals.
"Whoa!" John's surprise was evident. "I'm guessing this 
is the rest of the information you were after."
Jena stared at the crystals, then raised her gaze to look 
wide-eyed at John, the question obvious on her face.
John smiled knowingly, "I think it was the fact that there 
were five Sak'kras about to use me for target practice, 
and the Tellez didn't want this information to fall into 
their creepy claws. Those over-grown lizards seem to be 
universally despised!"
Jena leaned forward and kissed John on the cheek, then 
whispered, "thank you." She smiled, "I have returned the 
favor the only way I could," she added in a whisper.
John frowned at the cryptic statement. He had no way of 
knowing what she had been up to while he was away. 
Jena felt a pang of guilt, knowing what John would face 
from a very irate Aeryn Sun, but she was confident the 
end result would more than make up for his trial by fire.
Before John could consider Jena's words, D'Argo's 
voiced boomed from the other side of the docking bay, 
"Crichton, we are not taking on another *female* 
Peacekeeper! One is more than enough!" Even though 
D'Argo was trying to sound threatening the humor in his 
voice was unmistakable.
John grinned at his big friend knowing exactly what 
D'Argo meant, then he realized someone was missing 
from the welcoming party.
"Where is Aeryn?" John said to no one in particular. "I 
thought she’d be here to welcome the conquering 
heroes." His good-natured laugh was a welcome sound to 
his friends.
Pilot responded from the clamshell, having observed the 
return of his friends from his usual location, "the last time 
I spoke to her she was in the maintenance bay, but…."
"Great!" John interrupted him, "that’s where I’ll be if 
anyone’s looking for me." He hustled toward the exit, 
looking forward to seeing the dark haired beauty and 
resuming their interrupted tryst.
"…but I would not advise talking to her right now, 
Commander."
Ignoring the warning, John replied, "oh we have some 
unfinished business, Pilot. I really need to see her."
Pilot sighed, "as you wish, Commander."
+++++
"Hey Aeryn," John called to her from the entrance to the 
maintenance bay.
//Perfect! The last person in the universe I want to see 
and he appears right on cue. Dren!//
"You want something?" She snarled, jumping down from 
the prowler's cockpit and striding past him.
She was in such turmoil it took every bit of her 
self-control to reign in her impulse to hit him with a 
Pantak jab, leaving him in an unconscious heap on the 
floor. But she hadn't finished sorting through Jena's 
admission and her reaction to it, and she did not want to 
talk to John about it until she did. Right now it was 
impossible for her to keep her fury contained.
Completely dumbfounded, John whirled around asking, 
"what the hell did I do?"
Aeryn laughed derisively, giving him a look that would 
have melted a snow bank in a matter of microts. 
"Nothing…why should I care what you do?"
It wasn't so much the question that sounded the alarm in 
John's brain, but that sneering laugh sent a shiver down 
his spine.
"Look, Aeryn, a couple arns ago I thought you were glad 
to see me when D'Argo and I got back." John said 
calmly, trying to keep from reacting to Aeryn's bad 
mood.
"I just had a little visit from your Special Directorate 
friend."
"Jenavian?" The earlier alarm was now a hissing nest of 
rattlers in his mid-section. //Oh frell!//
John recognized the totally pissed expression that Aeryn 
had perfected long ago, and his heart sank somewhere 
around his ankles. He could just guess what Jena had said 
to her. Sheepishly he tried to start the explanation he 
should have given her weekens ago, "so you're mad at 
me?"
"I'm not mad…."
John snorted, "could've fooled me."
"I'm not mad at you as much as…I'm mad at myself." She 
retorted nonchalantly, keeping her back to him and trying 
to hide the roiling sea of unfamiliar emotions that 
threatened to engulf her.
"Damnit, Aeryn, what does that mean?"
"I don't want to talk about it…." She replied trying to stop 
the conversation she didn't want to have in the first place.
"Well, that's tough!" He shouted, grabbing her shoulders 
and turning her around to face him. "We have to talk 
about it, Aeryn…."
"OK, what's your version, I've already heard Jena's," she 
challenged angrily, "…in great detail." Aeryn squared her 
jaw and looked John right in the eye, defying him to deny 
what happened on the Royal Planet.
John closed his eyes; his worst fear realized. Jena told 
Aeryn about their night together before he could. He 
released her and Aeryn drew her shoulders back 
defiantly, her chin high as she tried to prevent the 
unwanted tears from spilling down her cheeks.
Sighing resignedly, John ran his hand through his hair. 
Aeryn's stoic stance and watery eyes ripped into him and 
he took a deep breath. "I slept with her after she rescued 
me from the palace."
"Funny, Jena didn't say anything about sleeping," she 
commented coolly, staring him down.
"It's an earth expression, it means we…." He searched for 
the right word, "…recreated."
"Recreated…" she repeated, "…well, it was apparently 
quite a workout from what Jena had to say." Aeryn 
smiled thinly, but her eyes were aflame. "You seem to 
enjoy recreating with Peacekeepers." Her voice dripped 
with sarcasm, "let's see there was Gilina…"
John's eyes flashed with anger. His friend's death was 
still a sore point with him. "How dare you dishonor 
Gilina's memory with that, Aeryn!" John hissed, "she 
paid the ultimate price for helping both of us! If it hadn't 
been for her, you'd most certainly be dead and I'd be a 
raging nut case twirling around in Scorpy's chair!" John 
bellowed loud enough to rattle the walls of the immense 
hangar.
Although chastised by John's outburst, Aeryn knew in her 
heart he was right about Gilina. In her rage however, she 
refused to be sidetracked from her point. "Okay then, 
start with me, a mere PK skank, and now a Special 
Directorate disrupter. Disrupter…a fitting name, wouldn't 
you agree?"
She didn't wait for him to answer, "are you working your 
way through command, Crichton? Should we alert the 
female Peacekeeper captains that you're available?"
John was speechless. He was not prepared for the 
venomous bite of her words, preferring a Pantak jab to 
mocking contempt. //Oh boy, I am in deep dren.//
"Nothing to say? I'm surprised. You usually have a 
comment about everything."
Summoning his courage and fighting to keep his voice 
calm, John said, "you can't believe that, Aeryn…it 
just…happened. There were lots of reasons, I guess, but 
none of them had anything to do with emotions or…."
"Oh right, Crichton!" She laughed viciously, tossing her 
head; "everything you do involves emotions!"
His fear of losing Aeryn was quickly dissolving into 
anger and he couldn't stop it. Why was she being so 
difficult? Was this a jealous reaction? He dared not hope 
for that….
"Aeryn, listen to me! I think I made it pretty clear in the 
module before we ever landed on that frelling planet that 
I wanted you. You're the one who pushed me away, 
accusing me of raging hormones …."
"You said I was *pleasing*…." Aeryn shouted, 
"…pleasing, like a pair of comfortable, old boots!"
"Well I'm not the one who put some enticing fragrance in 
their hair and then ran like a frightened little girl when 
things started getting hot!"
"Oh I see, so your 'sleeping with' Jena, as you call it, is 
all my fault! That's good Crichton…I wasn't even there!" 
Aeryn was totally irate and on the defensive, just as John 
was. Even though she knew there was truth in his words, 
her anger discouraged all rational thought.
"That's just it, Aeryn, you weren't there," he countered. 
"You weren't anywhere around! I was a statue for 
crissakes - a frelling headless statue, scared out of my 
mind. My bronzed head was bobbing up and down in an 
acid bath, and if Jena hadn't blasted Scorpy and saved 
me, we wouldn't even be having this conversation!"
"So you were thanking her for saving you - wouldn't a 
hand shake have been sufficient?"
The glacial timbre of her voice froze John's heart as he 
remembered their handshake before he left for the 
Gammak Base in a desperate attempt to save her life. He 
had really wanted to kiss her then, knowing it quite 
probably would be his last chance to do so. He pushed 
the memory aside and tried to explain the unexplainable.
"Maybe I was thanking her, partly, I don't know. But I 
just survived three assassination attempts, gone EVA 
without a flight suit, turned into a statute, beheaded, 
dropped in acid, and then reanimated, only to find myself 
pushed around by a PK Jane Bond with a stiletto in her 
wrist threatening to kill me! "
Aeryn refused to back down, "well that's certainly a 
reason to recreate, isn't it? Before you kill me, let's…."
"Why are you deliberately misunderstanding everything I 
say, Aeryn?" Before he could take it back, he heard 
himself say, "I thought recreating was part of the PK 
philosophy - wham bam thank you ma'am!" Isn't that 
what you're used to?"
In one swift, sure motion, Aeryn slapped him hard across 
the face. A Pantak jab he might have been ready for, not 
a slap. He recoiled, rubbing his stinging cheek.
"Look Aeryn, you can beat the crap out of me with one 
hand tied behind your back. Will that make you listen to 
me?"
Aeryn was vibrating with anger. If she didn't walk away 
right now she just might kill him. He stood there facing 
her, holding his arms out in surrender, an invitation for 
her to take all her anger out on him. But that wouldn't 
change what she was feeling, wouldn't make her happy; 
she didn't think anything would make her happy right 
now. She turned on her heel and marched out of the 
maintenance bay, leaving John alone.