Mind´s Eye

Sela Lael

selalael@aol.com

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Crichton reached for the fluted canister and splashed a
couple of inches of the amber liquid into the glass.  Raslak.
Straight ralsak. No ice, no water, he wanted nothing to
dilute it. He needed the sedative effect, not the taste.  

The smoky biting flavor was sharp on his tongue as he
took a slow sip, then threw the rest of it back with a neat,
stiff motion of his wrist.  

The sinister sound of laughter pulsated through his head
once more, and he quickly poured himself another shot.

Numb.   

He just wanted to be numb.

It started so simple.  A flash, a hazy image…...
Small pieces of reality, memories of the events on the
gammick base.  Kind of like a endless walking dream,
only not so easily banished.

He’s in my head.   

Scorpy.  

The image of his stoic face has been stuck on a perpetual
loop for months, trying to break the manacles of my sanity.
And everyday the constant tug of war over my psyche
wears me down.  


At first I was able to control the invasion, but now he’s
marred every corner of my mind.  I’m left paralyzed, unable
to think clearly.   If only I could just focus, gain control.   

But it’s dark, like a heavy black curtain reducing me to a
state of agony…fear.   And each moment it gets darker as
he pulls me further in the abyss.

Closing my eyes, I clench my jaw tight and pinch the
bridge of my nose,  I won’t be pulled in deeper you hear
me Scorpy……I won’t.


He leans in closer, coiling his cold fingers around
my shoulder.

"You cannot reisit me. There’s no escape John."

I force my eyes up to the mirror behind the bar and stare
deep into his eyes.

"There is today," I whisper and drain the glass again, slowly
closing my eyes against the burning of the alcohol as it
slides down my throat and  image slow fades from my
mind’s eye.

"You lose Scorpy."

But even after I say the words I feel a piece of my mind slip
away with him, pulling my further down the pit of  darkness.



Craning her neck a bit, Aeryn glanced around the bar
carefully scanning over the crowd.  It was almost full,
mostly Sebaceans.  Her eyes drifted along the few
empty seats at the bar to the sight of Crichton sitting
alone down at the far end.

Sighing, she began making her away through the crowd,
pushing aside the hands of a few too friendly males.

The bartender removed the empty fluted canister then
slammed a new one across the counter.  

"You won’t win John."


The warped sound of his voice snakes through my temporary
tranquillity, blocking out the murmur of conversation around
me.  All I can concentrate on is the echo inside, the dull
throbbing sound that twist itself through my mind.   


John moves his hand toward the hazy image in from of him,
wrapping his fingers around the scaled skin of his throat.  

"John."

I don’t know how long she’s been calling my name, but when
the soft touch of her hand rests on my shoulder I force my
eyes away from Scorpy.  


I let my eyes roam from her feet, over the curves of her body
encased in the long black-brown leather coat then finally to
her face.  The concern in her eyes shakes me to the core
and I tear my gaze away, dropping my face in my hands.


Just this once I hoped she wouldn’t come.  Why can’t she
back off and let me struggle with the demon locked inside?  
But I know why.   She scared.  She never forces me to
talk about it, but she always there making sure I don't  
take chances with my life.     



"Go away Aeryn."  

She wraps her hand around his wrist, and he quickly jerk away.

"Damn it Aeryn, just leave me the hell alone!"

He eyes widened, staring at him stunned.

Shaking his head, he smoothed a trembling hand down his face.
As soon as the words were out he knew they had hurt her.

"Aeryn."  he said over a sluggish tongue.  

Slowly lifting his head, he reached up and touched her face,
tracing his thumb across her cheek.  The long dark strands
of her hair had curled loosely from the moisture in the air.
God she looks so beautiful.

"I’m sorry honey."   

She frowned, her eyes filled with tears.

His thumb grazed across her trembling lips, then raises
his head, moving his lips toward hers.  

"Stop it." Aeryn pulled back, sighing heavily.   

"Come on.  Let’s get out of here,"  she said, tugging on his
leather jacket.  Sliding for the stool, I stumble a bit and she
wraps her arm around his waist and leads me out the bar.
*
*
*
*
*
*

Aeryn and D’Argo carried him like a rag doll down three tiers
to his quarters to keep him away from the prying eyes in
the galley.

Easing his limp body on the bed, Aeryn knelt down and
untied his boots.

"Why is he doing this Aeryn?"

"I don’t know."

"I think you do," the Luxan growled.

Narrowing her eyes at him, she tossed the shoes to the
side and reached for the covers remaining silent.

D’Argo crossed his arms and sighed.  "This has been going
on for weekens and your silence isn’t help him Aeryn."

"Look I told you I don’t know!"

Clenching her jaw, Aeryn tugged the peacekeeper vest out
from under his back.   

"Why not ask him yourself?"

She ran her tongue across her lips, then arched her brow.
D’Argo took one last glance at Crichton then turned out
the room.

Aeryn unsnapped the pistol from his holster and pulled the
blanket over him.  Straightening up, she studied him for a
microt.  She had her suspicions why he was drinking himself
into a stupor, why he was trying to keep a distance the others.  
She just hoped he could deal with his turmoil before he’s
destined to be damned.

She folded his jacket over the bench and sighed. He'd chosen
not to share his pain with the others then who was she to
divulge it for him.  At least for the moment she knew he
was safe.  Still among the living.  Picking up his pulse pistol
she retreated to her quarters.

Aeryn tossed the wet towel across the clothes pile she set
aside to be cleaned.  Straighten her tank top, she padded
across the floor and opened the metal trunk.   She removed
the firing pin and placed the pistol next to the others.  
Seven weapons.  Seven times she was by his side, pulling
him away from the edge.

She quickly secured the trunk then switched off the lights.
Lying across the bed, she let out a deep breath and stared
out into the darkness.

How the frell did he get to this point?  

I remember the look on his face when he emerged from the
underground tunnel, struggling for breath.  Since then
something inside him has shifted.  He's become more violent,
more withdrawn.....even from me.
 A little stabbing pain ran
through her chest and she blinked away the tears.  It wasn’t
the sadness of seeing him like this.  It was unsettling to
helplessly watch as he was slowly stripped of everything he
had been.  To look at his face only to have sightless blue
eyes stare back at me.  
  
*
*
*
*
*
*  
I can see a ray of light ahead, a familiar figure in the distance
motioning for me to come closer.  I move cautiously but as
I cross the doorway where the light is fading.  Dusk shrouds
me like a shadow, and I hear the twisted sound of laughter.
The portal slams shut behind me and the feel of cold metal
squeeze my warm flesh and the last sound I hear is the
snapping of the lock ringing in my ear.  I’m strapped to the
chair, staring into the screen, watching as I spiral down the
gorge of the abyss.


"No."

Eye closed tight, his arms flailed out, knocking over the
objects on the nightstand, sending them crashing to the floor.

"No!!"

My eyes snap open as my body slammed against the floor.  
Struggling for breath, I rest my forehead against the cool
marble.   A pair of haunted eyes stares back at me and the
dull, throbbing ache twist itself through me entire body.

"You’re not real," he whispers rocking back and forth.

"You’re….not …..real, " he cries.

*
*
*
*
*
*


"It getting worse,"

Sitting up, she stared at his faint profile silhouetted
against the wall, her heart drumming like thunder
in her chest.  

"The voice….Scorpius," she whispered.

"Yeah."

He plammed the sensor and the door closed.  John
walked tiredly across the room thendropped heavily
on the bed next to her.

"I can’t escape him anymore Aeryn," he whispered painfully.

He chuckled and shook his
head slightly.  "He really frelled me over."  

She laid a hand on his arm, so lightly he almost thought
he imagined it, until her fingers curled and gently squeezed.

"You can’t give in John."

Closing his eyes tight, he buried his face in his hands.  

"I so tired, Aeryn."

She reached up and stroked his hair, her eyes quickly
filled with tears.

"I know."

He looked up at her with a blank face, his eyes heavy with
a lifetime of weariness.  For several microts she stared at
him silently, her expression registering  her concern for
him.  Closing his eyes, he leaned in a little closer, and
gently pressed his lips to hers.

Lying back on the bed, he rubbed his eyes then rolled over
and crawls fully onto the bed.  Aeryn looked over her shoulder,
a slight smile curled her lips as he made himself at home
in her quarters.

Without looking back, John reached out for her hand and
pulled gently.  Sighing quietly, she moved forward, resting
her head on the pillow next to his draping her arm across
his chest.  I can’t imagine what his going through, what is
happening inside his head.  But whatever he needs, whatever
I can give him to help him through, then it’s his with question.


With a soft sigh, he leans further back against her chest and
she wraps her arm around him more securely, sealing
them completely from head to toe.

It still felt strange, but in the most wonderful way. Especially
since comforting was something I didn’t know how to do.
 She
gently pressed her lips to his shoulder.  I hope I’m doing
this right John.  


"Aeryn?"

"Hmmmm?"

"You’re really good at this," he said sleeply.

Smiling she turned her hand over to clasp his and kissed
his neck.

Its the soft touch of her fingers and the warmth of her body
that reduces the agony allows me gain brief control and
slip into serenity.  

Aeryn watched as his breathing slowed into a steady
rhythm. His arm falls limp under hers and she wraps her
arm around his waist more.  She closed her eyes and
exhaled slowly.

There was no way of knowing how long this peace will last.
No say in how long you’ll be forced to live with the fear that
your mind will be Scorpuis’ prisoner.  But I promise I won’t
let go of you John….I’ll help you get back your soul.


*********************************

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