musicofthesoul1

Music of the Soul
by Eli
Rating: PG-13ish
Archiving: Ask and it's yours
Feedback: Always more important than water
Disclaimer: I don't own Farscape....yet.

Music of the Soul

    Aeryn woke in her dimly lit quarters to find another presence there with
her. She couldn't see him, or hear him, but she knew he was there. It was
funny how as they grew closer, spent more time together, his presence was
more of an intangible feeling than anything else. Sometimes when she closed
her eyes as they sat on the terrace in silence she had more of a sense of
him than when she could see him, or hear him.......or touch him. Her mind
pushed the thought away, no more of that, not when he was right there. She
sat up quickly, dissolving the foggy haze that had hung around her head at
this early hour. She wasted no time in expressing her annoyance.
    "What do you want, Crichton?" She said as she watched him watching her
at the door, his arms draped through the gaps and his face serenely peering
in at her. He didn't answer, just moved back and opened the door. He
strolled into the room with his usual swagger and sat on the edge of her
bed, unconsciously recognizing his boundaries.
    "My shift"s over, I wandered past..... hoped you'd be awake." Aeryn
smiled, knowing fully well that the route from his room to command in no way
involved passing her chamber
    "Well," She said, pulling her blanket up and around her bare shoulders,
"Whatever it is, make it quick. It's getting cold in here."
    "Yeah," He nodded absently. "Moya's shutting down for the night. No
immediate danger right around, so she and Pilot figured they'd rest up."
    "It's nice to know someone around here is reasonable." She said,
inspecting his haggard demeanor and empty eyes. "Now if only I could knock
that kind of sense into you."
    He turned and smiled weakly at Aeryn and then fell back on her bed,
perpendicular to the cross-legged PeaceKeeper. "Hmmm." He muttered in
tired acquiescence. "Guess I'm all boogied out."
    Aeryn frowned and opened her mouth to ask what human nonsense he'd
delved into this time, but found him asleep at her feet. Resisting the urge
to kick him off her bed, she turned away, pulling the blanket around her as
she lay back down.
    She was just starting to doze off when she heard an alarmingly
high-pitched whining that sounded almost like a weapon charging. Aeryn
reached for her pistol and was about to contact Pilot with news of a
possible attack when she realized where the sound came from. It was John,
sleeping noisily at the foot of her bed. She shook her head at him, now
resisting the urge even more. Temptation, however, was to prevail.
     A minute later John Crichton climbed back onto Aeryn's bet angrily
rubbing his sore thigh just to see a very asleep and a very innocent looking
Sebacean wrapped tightly in the only blanket.
    Time stopped. It always did when the music played, everything became so
ethereal and far away. She felt as if she sat outside herself and the
others, she would visit and talk to them, words she never could have said,
but when time was but a theory, none of that nonsense mattered. She felt
herself floating away, along riverbanks and streets familiar but vague, all
a lifetime old. And then, as always, just when she thought she would be
lost forever walking these forgotten paths, the melody ended and time
resumed it's normal and ultimately destructive course.
    Chiana opened her dark eyes not surprised to find tears flowing softly
down her porcelain visage. She never knew if they were tears of sorrow or
joy, but they were perpetual. She lifter a hand to wipe the wetness from
her face, remembering the first time the drops had caressed her skin.
    They were gone, she was sure of it, gone now, but not forever. She had
to hurry. Chiana stepped out of the hidden compartment where Papa had
placed her when the men had banged on the door. Chiana had been able to see
what was going on through a small crack where the door and the wall met.
She saw her father beaten and dragged from the house. She watched all this
not daring to breathe for fear of them finding her. They'd come back an arn
later, ransacking the house, looking desperately for something. Overturned
tables, chairs, and miscellaneous furniture now scattered the room, their
contents spilling out onto the floor like great broken treasure chests. the
young Nebari ventured out into what was once her home, now transformed into
the remains of a raging battlefield.
    Looking out at the torn remains of her life, she began to sob, crying
out for her Papa to come back to her, to stroke her hair and hold her,
telling her all the while that things would be all right, that life would
resume it's normal course. Chiana knew this to be an impossibility ad her
sobs only deepened.
    it was then that she had seen it, sitting serenely on the floor as if it
had always belonged there. She crawled to it and sat back on her heels.
Her hand reached out to touch it, but she pulled back tentatively. Why
would it still be here, in the middle of the floor. It was only a child's
toy, but it could be modified into something far more dangerous. A device
to destroy all her life, all her memories gone with her own self if this
were the thing she imagined it to be.
    But she wanted to die, didn't she? If only she could make all the pain
go away, reverse time, warn her father or at least do something for him.
But it was too late, and death was welcome.
    She pressed the pad t begin the machine's operation, closing her eyes
and sucking in her breath with anticipation of the blast. It never came,
and the soft music floated up, willing her lids open.
    The holographic ball swirled with it's usual serenity, oblivious to the
chaos that threatened to envelop it at any moment. It rose lightly over the
charred black box. The colors changed with the intensity of the singing
voice. Blue and green when the music was calm, soft, tranquil. And then
the voice would swell, bringing with it the passion of red and yellow.
Chiana was delighted. She lay on her side and watched the simple toy her
Papa had given her so long ago. It as her mother singing, the woman she had
never known, but whose voice was a perpetual reminder of her spirit's
presence.
    Chiana remembered how Neri had danced to the music to keep her
entertained when she was but an infant. He'd flailed his arms, beating his
feet wildly to the floor in unknown rhythms. It never failed to make her
double over with uncontrollable laughter.
    NERI! He was her link, he was still all right as far as she knew. He
was away at the academy, but she could find him, she was old enough to take
care of herself, but he was all she had left. The men would be back soon,
no doubt of that. They needed to finish the place off for good. Chiana
stood and walked about the room gathering a few undamaged personal items,
clothes, food, and a bit of money hidden for such an occasion. Her Papa was
a cautious and wise man, he'd known this could happen. Lastly she bent over
the music box, tempted to leave it, but no, she needed it as her memory of a
life she would leave. She tucked it in to her front pocket of the light
jacket, and without another thought, left the broken home to find another.
    John opened his eyes groggily and pulled the blanket toward him. This
prompted a soft complaint from the form next to him. He ignored it and went
back to sleep.
    Aeryn shivered involuntarily , prompting her to wake. She made a small
annoyed noise and after several microts sat upright in order to examine her
plight. John lay next to her, the shimmering gold blanket covering all but
his nose and eyes. After only a moment's hesitation she reached over and
tugged the blanket back to her own body. Crichton flipped over and nearly
fell out of bed. He shook his head briskly and looked over at Aeryn who was
sighing contentedly and getting comfortable again. John was cold, really
cold, popsicle in snow cold, and when John was cold, abused, and tired, he
got a bit ...... annoyed.
    "Aeryn?"
    "Hmmm." She grunted , still facing away from him. He put two fingers
on her upper arm and started walking them toward her shoulder where the edge
of the sheet fell.
    "I. Want. The. Blanket." He said with each step of his fingers.
When he reached his destination she swatted his hand away.
    "Touch this blanket and you'll live to regret it." John backed away and
pouted a moment before making a bold and potentially dangerous move. He
pulled himself closer to her putting his mouth very close to her ear, his
lips lightly brushing her skin.
    "Please......" he breathed. Her reaction was immediate. She tensed at
his light touch on her waist, she seemed almost to be holding her breath.
Whether this was from anticipation of his next move or hers was a bit of a
mystery to both of them.
    "You know," he whispered softly, taking complete advantage of the
situation. "My mother always told me to share." He reached up and
maneuvered his hand under the blanket and down her arm, drawing himself
under it's warmth and a well. Then he noticed a small smile beginning to
trace her lips.
    "Nice try, Crichton, but the blanket's mine." She pulled away from him
again, making sure there was no more contact between them by wrapping
herself snugly into the comfort of the sheet. Crichton was more than
beginning to become annoyed, he was cold and tired, and retreating to his
room was rapidly becoming a jeopardization of his pride. He no longer cared
if it was a trivial matter, he wasn't going to lose this argument, no matter
how stupid it was.
    "Mine." He said forcefully, tugging lightly at a corner. She turned to
face him now and sighed in exasperation.
    "Fine. Take it. Just take it." She disentangled herself and threw the
fabric at him. "Now will you please let me sleep." When he didn't respond,
obviously dumbfounded at the ease of his victory, she took his face in her
hands and nodded his head for him. "Oh-kay." She flipped back over and
settled down once again.
    Crichton lay for a moment, unsure of what just happened. But that
confusion was quickly replaced by a wave of guilt. Aeryn wasn't exactly
dressed warmly and she was already beginning to shiver. Dammit, dammit,
dammit, why couldn't he ever win? He shook his head in defeat and spread
the blanket over her, then as a kind of afterthought, he brought his body up
next to hers. Sliding his arms down and around her waist, smiling at the
feeling of her in his arms. She didn't hit him, or even say a word, so he
stayed. And, if only for a few moments, they could both pretend it had
always been this way, and always would be.
    Crichton walked towards the mess, just having left Aeryn in her bed.
She'd waken when he'd stirred, he had said that she should stay and he'd
bring breakfast back for the both of them. She seemed reluctant for him to
go, but sent him on his way, for she was hungry. At the door, she'd told
him to hurry and he'd promised he would with a rather grand gesture and bow.
Aeryn then treated him to one of her dazzling, out of the ball-park, never
to return again, all out world stopping smiles, at least that's how he
thought of them.
    He whistled loudly and off tune, not caring, just happy. This was
absolutely wonderful, he couldn't believe it. There they had slept, she'd
trusted him at her most vulnerable and he'd proven he deserved it. And this
was only the beginning. At just about the time he was insanely tempted to
go all out and do a Gene Kelly on the walls of Moya, he passed Chiana's
room.
    "Morning Pip, beautiful day!" But he stopped, not hearing a reply from
within. He backed up and saw the Nebari sprawled on the floor. He rushed
into the room scared as hell.
    "Pip!" He shook her a bit, what was going on? "Chiana, wake up. C'mon
little girl. Wake up, please wake up." He pulled her into his lap and
cradled her in his arms but she didn't respond. John shook her limp body
once more before calling out into the air. "Zhaan, something's wrong with
Chiana, I need your help. I'll bring her to the medical bay. You just get
there. Hurry!" He didn't even wait for Zhaan's reply before hefting Chiana
up and blindly racing to the priestess.
It was such a pleasant place. No pain. No loss. Nothing really, just numb
all over, emotionally, physically, she felt nothing. Then she remembered.
And she went insane.
    "I'm sorry, John, there's really nothing more I can do. She is strong,
she'll come out of it by herself." Zhaan laid a comforting hand on his
shoulder before busying herself with her other affairs.
    "Thank, Blue." Crichton yawned.
    "You should get some sleep. You've been here for far too long, and if
I'm not mistaken, you were supposed to help Pilot with the adjustments to
the atmosphere scrubbers 8 arns ago."
    "Heh, forgot about that." He stood to leave, never taking his eyes off
Chiana. "You're sure she's stable?"
    "Yes, John."
    "And you'll call me as soon as she wakes up?"
    "Yes, John."
    "And you-"
    "YES, John." Crichton finally turned his attention from the young
Nebari to see Zhaan, hands on hips, in full no nonsense mode.
    "Right, I'll be going then." With one final look to Chi, he exited the
room.
    Rygel XVI chuckled to himself as he glided stealthily through Moya's
back passages and darker corridors, that stupid little trelk would learn her
lesson now. Never again would she even attempt to steal something from him.
He'd made sure of that. Just think of a small insignificant member of a
small insignificant race trying to procure from him, Dominar of the Hynerian
Empire. Ridiculous. He let thoughts of regaining that throne overtake him
as he swept along on his way.
    A small shaft of light crossed this slug who would be king, and just
enough of it fell to reveal a small black box resting in his lap.
    "It's about time!" D'argo growled as Crichton entered Pilot's den. The
Luxan stood and glared intently at the human.
    "Sorry, Big Guy, I was ah-" he paused, not knowing quite how to excuse
himself. "Never mind, I'm here now, just tell me what needs to be done."
    "Commander Crichton, Ka D"argo has already finished most of the
repairs." Pilot said.
    "Oh." John blushed sheepishly at his mistake. "Well, I could finish
up, D'argo, uh, go take five......or ten, you know, whatever you need."
D'argo didn't respond, just growled again and left the den.
    Crichton watched him leave and then turned back to Pilot. He clapped
his hands together and rubbed them briskly. "So, uh, what can I do for you
today, Pilot."
    "Ka D'argo finished most of what needed to be done, but he did not
complete assembling my console."
    "I'm on it." Crichton slid under a small section of the console and
went straight to work.
    After a few moments of silence and John working diligently, trying to
make up for his extreme tardiness, Pilot spoke up.
    "Moya would like to know of Chiana's condition, as would I."
    John smiled at Pilot's concern. "She'll be all right... at least I hope
she will." He stopped tinkering for a moment and then asked, "Since when
are you, or anyone, for that matter, concerned about Chi?"
    "Moya is concerned for all who she carries, and I am simply curious as
to how long I can work in peace."
    Crichton laughed at that and then resumed his work, several moments
passed before, "Do you think everyone feels that way? Like Chiana is only a
nuisance?"
    "Several of the crew have expressed such an opinion at different points
in time. They hoped that Chiana's experiences as of late would have calmed
her, but such has not occurred. Perhaps she will be a bit more tranquil
after her illness. Just a few arns ago, Aeryn expressed a concern that-"
    John jumped out from the small alcove, dropping all that he'd been
doing. Aeryn. Dren. Without another word he rushed from Pilot's den to
find the ex-PeaceKeeper.
    "I don't want to hear it." Aeryn Sun said as she frantically tried to
ignore John's pleas by rerouting a sensor grid that could have waited,
frell, it didn't even need to be done. "I'm busy."
    "No you're not. You and both know that what you're doing is completely
unnecessary."
    "Just leave and let me work."
    "No, Aeryn, I want to talk to you."
    "Well, seeing as you're such a master of speech, by all means go ahead,
I can't guarantee I'll listen, but please, talk all you want."
    "Aeryn......." His voice had a slight tone to him, but one look from
her stopped that train of thought dead in it's tracks. "I know I should
have contacted you, told you what happened. I really am sorry. I know it's
hard to gain your trust and I don't want it broken so soon." He looked
expectantly at her. She'd stopped tapping on the pad in front of her, but
still wasn't looking at him.
    "Well, I was right, you do talk too much." And she resumed her work.
    "Listen to me Aeryn. I'm sorry I left this morning, I don't want this
to be a step back. Chiana was unconscious, you really think I wasn't gonna
help her?"
    "I didn't think you'd spend seven arns "helping" her."
    "Aw, c'mon. She's my friend. You wouldn't care if it was Zhaan in
there. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous." The words
obviously hit home as she snapped her head up to glare at him.
    "Well, I'm glad you know better then."
    "Aeryn, please. I'm sorry, really I am. Why won't you believe that."
    "John, words mean nothing to me. You can say and grovel all you want,
and it won't mean a thing to me, never. You want my forgiveness, you'll
have to say more than words."
    She refused to talk to him further. He left angry and frustrated only a
few microts later.
    "Don't worry, Little Sister, all will be right soon enough. I promise
you."
    "But Neri, I won't see you again for -" He placed two fingers over her
mouth.
    "Don't think of it that way. Just know we will see each other again.
Our father died for this and I will not let it be in vain."
    "But Neri..."
    "Chiana..." His voice gained the authoritarian tone she so despised.
"This has to be done. I will do it."
    "Let me help you. I can help, I can......."
    "No, Chiana, it's dangerous."
    "And you think you're immune to that danger."
    "No. But I'm not going to let you die for my beliefs, for my cause."
    "Neri....."
    "Chiana...."
    And they stayed that way a while, staring each other down as children
would. So many years just hung there between them.
    "GO!" She finally yelled angrily as she presented her back to him.
    "I want you to understand." Neri lay a hand lightly on her shoulder but
she shrugged him off.
    "I will Never understand." She was too hurt to care anymore. She heard
him stand and walk toward the door. He stopped and his footsteps echoed
through the empty room His feet scuffled once more and his clothes rustled
as he crouched. Chiana heard something touch the cold floor, Neri then
straightened, whispered a barely audible good-bye and left her life forever.
    It was quite a while before she could bring herself to know he was gone,
really gone. And nothing could ever change that or make the void now deep
within her any less.
    And damn him for leaving that frelling thing behind. She didn't want
those memories, how dare he make her hope like this. She wanted to forget
and her frelling brother, the one person she was supposed to trust and the
one thing she had in the universe, had denied her even that simple request.
    She turned to stare at that black box. Wishing desperately that the
sole act of wanting it to burst into flame would cause it to do so. Such
was not to be. And she sobbed, alone again with this toy. It was all she
had and she didn't, no, couldn't even look at it. The tears came again, a
never ending river of pain and hurt. She was once more a little girl,
sitting and hugging her knees, not knowing what the future brought.
    Chiana's eyes opened slowly, the remnants of the dream still thick
within her mind. So vivid at the time, now only small ripples on a silent
lake. How did she know that this was real, how would she know if anything
was real anymore.
    She didn't and it terrified her.
    Zhaan heard a small sound behind her and turned to see Chiana sitting
over the edge of the bed. She was looking toward the door, not at the door
really, more past it.
    "Chiana, are you well?" Zhaan questioned cautiously. The girl's head
snapped, focusing on the other woman with intensity and confusion.
    "Yes.....yes. I'm fine." She sounded distant, almost like she wasn't
really in the room.
    "Are you quite sure?" The Delvian asked as she ran her instruments over
Chiana, checking her physical stability.
    "Yes.....I'm sure." Still distant.
    "Well, you're all right physically. What happened?"
    "I..... I just.....just......nothing.....nothing happened." She shook
her head slowly. "Can I go?" Her attention had wandered again, but focused
with the query.
    Zhaan was hesitant. Chiana wasn't exactly herself, but that could just
be shock. And she had no reason to hold the girl any longer.
    "Yes.... but check in with me in a few arns."
    "Right." She lowered herself from the bed and wrapped her arms around
herself as if cold. "A few arns....." And she was gone.