Private Universe
By Phil.
Category: Episode Expansion/Romance.
Rating: NC-17.
Spoilers: A Human Reaction.
Summary: What happened on the False Earth…
Notes: Yeah you been there, done that already - and Kelly Hill has done it much better than I can. Well I needed to write this stuff to get it out of my head before the Blue Meanies got me, er or something. Anyway, here's my view on what happened between "those" scenes…
Big thanks to Jigs for her excellent beta work and suggestions.
Disclaimer: Farscape belongs to all those nice people with the copyrights, who being so nice won't sue my ass off. Thanks to Crowded House for the title, used without permission.
Feedback: Would be much appreciated…
*
The light rain faded in the afternoon sky as the first wave of gray clouds pushed on, to be replaced by their somber, overhanging cousins. The atmosphere was close, pressing and quieting the busy sounds of the city below.
*
"So what's this?" She asks, looking curiously at the brown beer bottle.
"It's beer, alcohol." I reply, matter-of-factly. "Trust me, it's just what we need right now,". She sniffs the open bottle from her seat on the bed. More through instinct than choice, I add, "down the hatch."
She looks up and smiles. "Down the hatch?" She echoed, as she took her first sip the human beverage whose merits I had ranted on about so many times in the past.
"Do you like it?" I ask her, a little coldly. My mind is on other things.
"Yes." She took a deeper draught of the beer, and then another.
"It's like Fellip Nectar. Fellip's a creature on Tarsis, and they get the nectar…."
"Aeryn please, don't tell me where it comes from, just drink the beer." I cut her off. Usually I wouldn't stop her talking if my life depended on it, but this is different. There is no more time.
"Sorry." I meant it on so many levels - all that had happened to her that was my fault.
"What for?" She must have understood there was more hidden there than my uncharacteristic silencing of her.
"Everything. What's happened here. Getting you stuck on Moya. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be the happy little Peacekeeper, dominating the lesser races." It was a start.
"Hmm…I've got a lot to blame you for, Crichton." She didn't sound convinced, but she must blame me for at least some of her fate. And to think, I had wanted her, asked her, to come with me to this place - my wonderful homeworld that would be her grave.
There's a pause, both of us mulling over the events and unwilling to make another move, as always. The city stretches out from the window, the houses, office blocks and the suspension bridge in the distance, shaded in the gray light. How long I'd wanted to return to this, to come home. How ironic, my greatest hope has become my worst fear. Even now, they must be looking for us, relentlessly tracking the supposed alien menace.
*
Animals retreated to the safety of their burrows and nests, fur standing on end as they sensed the approaching danger. Nature was silent, preparing for the onslaught.
*
"That's it." Home, what I'd been searching for so long.
"What?" She answered as I interrupted her thoughts. Either she thinks I'm a liar or the biggest frelling idiot she's ever met - probably both. 'Come with me, Aeryn' - what a crock. She'd wisely refused both Earth and me.
"Earth. Minus the sunshine." The happiness and the warmth, this wasn't like the Earth I remember at all. More like a house with the home ripped out. Even here I'm a fugitive, and I thought I'd left that on the other side of a wormhole with her, and them.
"You know, you were right. It's actually very beautiful."
Beautiful. Why was she so calm? I'd led her here, to her imprisonment, to her future death at the hands of my people. My mind's eye flashes back to that sterile white room, Rygel's lifeless corpse stretched out in a grotesque mimicry of him.
I sit down beside her, shoulder to shoulder. I think I'm finally ready to crack, the thought of returning home is almost all that's kept me going for the past cycle. Now that dream has turned into a nightmare; it's entirely my fault, and for once, she won't say it.
Why isn't she angry? She should be trying to kill me, not comfort me. That was Aeryn in a nutshell; so full of surprises, full of life, hidden depths and so brave, so…beautiful. I cut off the thought, but it's too late, and the clock's ticking.
Maybe, maybe just enough time?
"Were you scared...to join me when I left Moya?" It didn't matter anymore, all the little games, the half glances when we thought the other wasn't looking. I have to know her heart, and there is no more time.
"Yes."
Oh god, she'd admitted it. Officer Aeryn Sun of the Pleisar regiment was scared, afraid. It's a tiny crack in the mortar of those impenetrable walls with which she surrounds herself. She had wanted to come with me, be with me. I close my eyes for a moment, taking in the gravity of her statement.
"I won't be recaptured, Crichton. They will have to kill me if they come to take me tomorrow."
That's my girl, even when all's lost, when my relentless optimism is gone, she'll shine like a beacon in the night, lighting the way ahead. She realizes too; we have no chance, no more time.
"I know." Somehow I draw strength from her, even now at the worst of times she never gives in - stubborn as a rock, weathering all that's thrown against her. God, she means so much to me. I rest my head for a moment on her shoulder. Her skin is soft and smooth on my cheek. My bronzed tint contrasting with her pale complexion, like we contrast in so many other ways.
I realize she's tensed a little below me, and her scent fills my nostrils, sweet, salty and slightly musky. She relaxes again; probably fighting that internal battle that seems to rage within her every time we're close. I have to know; I can't die not knowing if she feels the same way; if she needs me as much as I need her. Life is all about decisions, and it's time to make one.
*
A single leaf danced on the path, a sweeping circle in the tiny spiral of otherwise still, warm air. The dense, heavy pressure surrounds and engulfs - a portent of the times ahead.
*
Holding my breath, I turn my face to her shoulder, watching the slow rise and fall of her torso, running my nose and lips along the line of her collarbone. I slowly release the breath, her skin reacting with the tiny hairs standing to attention. A distant rumble of thunder breaks the silence, reminding me of the closing danger, and of the risk I'm taking. Nothing else matters anymore, there's no more time for taking it slow, for playing the waiting game.
I push on, slowly working my way to her slender neck.
Wait…my heart on a thread…she's moving, pulling her shoulder away from me, saying no.
Wait…turning her head to look at me, delicate strands of jet-black hair framing that beautiful face. I move up, breath baited and eyes closed. I can sense her face, mere inches from my own, coming closer. It takes an eternity, like two ocean liners on a collision course, gradually but unavoidably, moving together.
Then the touch, the glossy silk of her lips on mine. Oh god she wants me too. One thousand stars ignite in my chest, the light of hope and the fire of passion bursting from the conflagration, illuminating the dark skies hanging ominously overhead.
Carefully I lean in further, refreshing the contact and wrapping my arm around her waist. She reaches up, taking my chin in a V-shape between her hands. How long I've wanted her, waited for her - the lonely days and nights of feeling the need gnaw at me, the need for her. Always so cold, distant - like a snow peaked mountain on some far horizon.
She was anything but cold now, my mouth a furnace, and her the fuel - she threw herself on with reckless abandon. The emotional dams burst, for both of us I think, buried needs rising unabated from the depths of the floodwaters. She straddles me on the edge of the bed, and I grip her tightly around her waist, pulling her to me forcefully. I reach up and undo her hair-band as gently as I can, releasing her beautiful hair to fall freely, tickling her bare shoulders. The kissing is feral, electric and sensuous, all mixed together in the swirling, overflowing storm of desire.
It has only ever been like this once before; we didn't think we had much time then either, trapped and suffocating in the Flax. Holding her in my arms had felt so right, and she knew it too, although she would never admit it. The fury of unleashed passion from the usually emotionless ex-Peacekeeper had blown me away like a leaf in a hurricane.
*
The soft kiss ended as it had begun. Both participants shifted nervously on the yielding surface of the bed, searching the other's face intently for answers to the questions that had plagued them for so long. A longing look passed between them, and distant thunder rumbled again, punctuating the silence.
*
It has taken a long time, but here we are again, the heights of passion in the depths of despair. Then she stops, panting for air.
She looks into my eyes, the lines of her face drawn out in sudden worry and concern. I don't think I've ever seen her look so vulnerable, so exposed. "Aeryn…I understand" I whisper into the uncomfortable silence.
She tilts her head and stares into my eyes, boring deep holes into my racing heart. The tips of her mouth rise in a sad smile, and her eyes glimmer in the dim light of the overcast nether-time somewhere between afternoon and evening. Swallowing heavily, she leans forwards and wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her lips gently against mine. She grips my hips between her knees, and I reach behind her and support her lower back in my hands, reveling in the feel of the soft, cascading silk of her hair. We exchange a series of closed lipped kisses, each more potent than the last.
I begin to move my hands across the knotted muscles near her lower spine, and she responds by arching her back, pushing her breasts against me. The sounds of a distant storm echo the sound of heavy breathing as we begin to lose control again. I can already feel the hot flush of blood rushing around my lower abdomen and upper thighs, heading for my growing arousal. She runs her hands round my neck and over my shoulders, down to my chest, applying gentle pressure to my muscles.
We slacken our breathless pace a little. I look up at her face, her cheeks and lips showing the first signs of flush against her pale skin. She looks different now, apprehension and uncertainty dispelled, replaced with warmth and desire.
*
The dull gray twilight still flooded the room through the window, brightened for a second by a flash of lightning as the ferocity of the storm stalked across the sky.
*
She looks back at me, a coy grin - the likes of which I've never seen from her before - playing across her features as she reaches down to tug her top from her tight trousers. She crosses her arms over and draws the top up over her head before discarding it on the floor. Beneath she's wearing a black sporty bra that tightly holds her ample bosom.
Leaning forward, she nips my lower lip between her teeth as she undoes the clasp and slides the straps down her arms. I move back slightly as she slowly removes it and drops it to the floor. Taking hold of my wrists, she pulls my unresisting arms round from behind her, guiding them up to her delicate breasts.
Our eyes meet as I spread my fingers and hands over her, lost in the sensation of touching her so intimately. The real experience of her far outstrips any of my late night fantasies. She rolls her head back a little, eyes closed, revealing her slender neck. I take the opportunity to work small circlets of kisses along its elegant length. Alternatively sucking and nipping her, she moves her head to one side to give me greater access. I'm further rewarded by the sounds of her breathing deepening.
This lightens my apprehension slightly. I'd like to think I know my way around a woman reasonably well, but Aeryn isn't like any other women I've been with. I'm really hoping I don't make any wrong moves, and I'm working with an incomplete map. Hell, I've never even seen her naked before, so how do I even know if we are…compatible?
Noticing my pause, she looks at me quizzically, her face flushed, lips a light scarlet. I reach down and take off my undershirt, pleased with the admiring look on her face as she explores me with her hands. Holding her waist again, I kiss her with growing passion, opening my mouth. She reciprocates, our tongues wrestling playfully together.
*
Too intent on each other to notice, they continued regardless of the storm or the soldiers who sought them.
*
We twist together and lay down sideways, facing each other on the bed. Our lips meet again, like waves crashing against each other, merging and sinking. The desire for her is burning bright again and there is a mounting sense of urgency between us. I reach forward and begin to undo her trousers, unbuttoning the fastenings as quickly as I can.
A brilliant flash illuminates the room for a moment, but I barely notice, and care even less. It's time for the moment of truth. I gently push my hand through the gap, slipping it under the smooth material of her underwear. I feel her back arch slightly, and she kisses me even more passionately.
I'm nervous and aroused at the same time, but my desire for her wins and drives me on. The smooth texture of her skin gives way to the familiar soft roughness of pubic hair and my heart skips a beat - just a little further. She lifts her leg and wraps it around mine, allowing me to reach further inside. I'm greeted by the feel of her, slick, tight and perfect.
I know now it's going to happen, finally happen. It's as unstoppable as a runaway train speeding towards the end of the line. I step up the pace again and she responds gladly, wrapping herself around me. I know somehow, this is going to be different, special. There's a feeling in the humid air, a spark that whispers softly that this was meant to be.
*
The warm humidity of the room grew more intense, hotter, deeper and closer as the now nearby storm gathered pace, choking out the sounds of the world.
*
I stroke her a few times, then reach inside as gently as I can, wanting to explore the depths, mental and physical, which she keeps so carefully guarded. Following my lead, she reaches over to undo my jeans, carefully unfastening the button and zipper. The knowledge of her hands so close to me sends shudders of tingling excitement down my spine. She notices and I can feel the movement of denim on my skin as she pulls my jeans down along with my underwear.
I continue to probe her gently, silently exploring the joys of her womanhood. She reciprocates, and I break the contact of our lips, she's making it too hard to concentrate. I lean my head back, gasping for shallow breaths as my chest tightens. She moves in, pressing soft kisses into my exposed neck as she grasps and strokes me.
I'm getting too caught up in the moment, and I know I have to do something radical before I lose control completely. I roll over, taking her hips between my hands and pushing her onto her back, and shifting myself on top. She's a little surprised, but smiles as she sees the smoky sensuality written all over my face.
Reaching up, she takes my head in her hands, and I do likewise. Starting slowly, we're soon hitting new heights as our lips meet and open to each other like spring flowers. I'm sure I've never wanted anyone as much as I want her now.
Those three words are on the tip of my tongue, begging for release as much as my body. I don't know what will happen if I say them, will she stop? Will the world shatter into a million pieces? Will she understand, accept? Something inside says no, this isn't the right time. But I've got to let her know, somehow. A plan forms in my mind, something she might understand.
I trail my mouth down her neck, between her breasts, shifting my body down so my chest is between her knees. One at a time, I lavish attention on her delicate nipples, feeling her respond to my touch, but that's not all I have planned for her.
My lips traced down her firm belly, dropping rain-soft kisses lower and lower. I look up for a second, her eyes are closed and she looks relaxed and more beautiful than anything I've ever seen before, or will again. Her long, dark hair spread over the pillow, framing that pretty face, and her slim, athletic body beneath it.
I ease closer to my goal, gently pulling her pants and underwear down her slender legs. She raises her hips to assist me, and very soon I'm naked in bed with the woman of my dreams.
*
Unnoticed by either of them, strong winds rocked the trees outside, whistled and howled as they found a small gap near the window. A few light streaks of rain appeared, heralding the closing tempest.
*
I begin to massage the backs of her knees and lower thighs with my fingertips, trying to find the right spots to drive her wild. I lower my head down to the nest of delicate curls that beckon to me, moving my hands up to circle her outer lips.
She jumps, startled, propping herself up on her elbows to look down at me; shock registering on her pretty face. "John..??" She asks, her voice shaky from her shallow, rapid breathing.
"Trust me, Aeryn." I reply softly, smiling slightly to ease her fears. She stares at me for a moment, then nods her consent and tries to relax. I begin again outlining her shape, first my fingers, then tongue. I begin to press her lips together and then apart with my index and middle fingers, concentrating my tongue on gently flicking and teasing her small bud.
As I continue, I can tell my efforts are having the desired effect, her hips buck gently to my movements and she places her hands on the back of my head, guiding me to where she wants. I set about the task of pleasuring her with relish, plunging my tongue inside her, reveling in the taste and smell of her.
She runs her hands through my hair, her hips now in full motion as she urges me deeper inside. Her quick, ragged breaths accentuate her struggle to maintain her usually unshakable control. Her excitement intensifies my own, but I try to ignore it as I strive to finally break down those walls that keep us apart.
A flash from outside briefly illuminates the outline of her body stretched across the bed in the dim light, and the accompanying roll of thunder fails to mask the sounds of her pleasure.
I replace my tongue with my finger as I change positions slightly to lap incessantly at her hardened nub. She instinctively tightens around my digit as I massage her increasingly hot and wet interior. "John," she pants amongst sharp intakes of breath.
*
The rolling mass of clouds neared its target, howling its fury at all who would defy it. Dense, heavy rain saturated the river and the nearby streets as tiny people raced for cover and refuge from the cold and wet.
*
She squirms beneath me, gripping my chest between her steely thighs, her beautiful body glistening from the thin sheen of sweat covering her. Then she moves, shifting away from my touch and lifting my face away from her with her hands.
I look up at her, surprise and disappointment clouding my tempestuous mind that she wouldn't let me take her all the way. She still doesn't trust me, not completely. "Aeryn…" I start. She cuts me off before I can continue:
"John, want you. Now." She orders.
"Aeryn…" I try again; worried I had done something wrong.
"John. Now." She repeats, more softly, still insistent. With that, she rolls me over onto my back, straddling my chest between those strong, luscious legs. She drops down to kiss me passionately, and I return it with interest. She reaches behind her back taking my length in her hand and once more stoking my fire to a towering inferno.
I can't wait any longer as my primal instincts make their full presence felt. I roll her over again, taking hold of her hips. She opens her legs and wraps them around mine with the agility of a gymnast. I pause for just a moment, looking into the large, dilated pupils of her azure eyes. She nods hurriedly, and her hands meet behind my back, gripping me tightly to her. The sensation of her body beneath mine is everything I imagined and more; smooth, soft skin overlaying toned muscles, shielding her warm soul below her tough exterior.
*
Another flash of incandescent light followed a second or two later by rumble from the heavens. The winds roared once more, the heavy patter of rain on tarmac mingling with the rustle of shaken leaves. Again, the efforts of nature were ignored and unimportant to the lovers in their warm embrace.
*
I gently push myself into her open femininity, hot, moist and very ready. I feel her contract around me, gripping me tightly and drawing me further in. It feels like every other time I've ever been with a woman has simply been preparation for this moment. We begin rocking back and forth together, quickly finding a fast, matching rhythm.
Desire for release is exploding within me like a firework display; it's all just too intense, being with her now, wanting to be with her always. I try to slow a little; my animal needs being tempered by the tenderness for her in my heart.
*
The nexus of the storm had finally reached its destination, somewhere high above the house. Heavy rain lashed noisily against the window, pelting and soaking anything below. Freshness displaced humidity as the wall of water moved over. Flashes of lightning and the bass notes of thunder rolled above, daring any to block it's path.
*
The intensity is building again, and I can't stop it, caught between wanting this to last forever and my body's pleading for it to end. She is evidently caught in same dilemma, and I can feel her start to crest beneath me, bucking her hips uncontrollably. I can feel the adrenalin surging around my body, empowering me to greater efforts. Her arms around my neck, she breaks our breathless kiss. She's panting wildly, mumbling and gasping formless words the translator microbes obviously can't decipher.
Then finally she relents, and I can feel her convulsing around me, panting, almost screaming: "Oh…Oh…hez…ma…ah….John…Oh oh UH UH OH!"
The sounds of her in orgasm are sweet melodies, sending me soaring higher, touching the sky as I feel my own release gather. My knees feel weak, chest tight, only my hips strong as I bury myself in her, thrusting uncontrollably. Clenching my teeth I feel the blessed relief shoot into her - molten, liquid fire bursting from my center to the extremities of my body.
"Oh god YES! Oh Gawd Aeryn. AERYN."
*
Thunder quietly spoke a final time, preceded by a flash that illuminated the room for a split second, capturing the image of male and female melding together in the throes of love.
*
We slow to a stop, both panting raggedly as our bodies try to regain the massive oxygen debt. I collapse on top of her, completely spent. We lay there for what seems like hours, no sounds except for our recovering breathing and the previously unnoticed pounding of rain on the window.
I rise up to look at her face. She swallows and meets my gaze, a nervous look playing across her features.
I grin warmly at her and I'm greeted with the most radiant smile that I thought I'd never see from her. I bow down to kiss her softly, worshipping at the temple of Aeryn Sun. Grudgingly I withdraw from her and roll off to lie at her side.
*
Gradually the violent vortex consumed itself. The storm passed and faded having dispersed most of its rage and energy.
*
My body still tingles at the touch of her and the wonderful feeling of combining physical intimacy and love. At that thought, those three words pop back into my head, threatening to escape from my mouth. I want to tell her how amazing she is, how much I care about her, how much that just meant to me. I hold back though. The future, which seemed so short and certain, is suddenly alive with hope and possibilities. There is time. The two of us together, we can overcome anything.
I pull her to me as she moves closer and wraps a sultry arm across my chest, that dazzling smile still gracing her lips. I put my arm around her shoulders and pull the duvet up around us. She clamps my leg between hers, claiming my body like she's claimed my heart.
We lie there for a while, exchanging happy glances between staring out of the window as the remains of the raging rain and winds vent their fury on the glass and the ground below. The air is now fresh and cold, but I feel so warm and safe, tucked away under the covers with her.
It's been a long time since I last felt so contented and at peace. The weight of the world falls elsewhere, at least for tonight.
I want to stay like this forever, but the events of the day have taken their toll on me. I reach over to kiss her goodnight, a lingering kiss full of promise. Reluctantly our lips separate, and as we huddle together I gradually slide into sleep's gentle embrace.
*
Later, a light drizzle of rain continued to fall in the storm's wake, replenishing and caressing the battered earth with its sweet touch.