Aeryn's Pain (Epilogue to Episode "Relativity")

By: Ian K.

jonann@gdi.net

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Yes

Note: This is a coda/epilogue to the episode "Relativity", and it is told from Crichton's point of view.

Disclaimer: I did not create Farscape, the universe of Farscape, or its characters. I merely borrowed them for this story, for which I will receive no monetary compensation. No infringement of copyright intended.

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After several arns of Crais splicing engrams with Talyn, our ship finally regained consciousness and could navigate on his own. Aeryn and I were both anxious to go to bed and get some rest. We were both exhausted.

But we also both smelled like that sewer of a planet we had just left, so we decided to take a bath. Not being one's to waist water, we took a bath together. Many times, in my dreams, I had imagined what it would be like to bathe with Aeryn. In my dreams, I had images of making out under the cascade of water falling from the faucet, our wet bodies wrapped together in a tight embrace. But on this occasion, we were both so exhausted, we just washed ourselves, and washed each other a little bit. At one point during our shower, Aeryn seemed distant, unfocused on bathing. I asked her if she was alright, and she quickly came back and said she was fine.

After the shower, we dried off, and climbed into bed. It felt so good to get into bed with Aeryn, to know we would be sleeping side by side. It feels right. As we lay side by side, Aeryn cuddles up into my arms, and we lay facing each other on the bed. I can tell by the look on her face that Aeryn feels that its right, too.

Aeryn looks at me intently, and I return her gaze. We finally bring our lips together in a passionate kiss, and we could have easily gone further. But we mutually decided to stop at the kiss, and get some rest after our ordeal.

After laying there with Aeryn in my arms for a little while, I hear a quiet sound. Its coming from Aeryn, her face resting against my chest. I look down, and listen to the sound, and finally identify it. Aeryn is quietly sobbing.

I hold Aeryn closer to me, and she continues to cry. I brush her hair, and rub her shoulders as she releases her emotions, her sorrow. I look at the beautiful face of the woman I love, quietly sobbing in my arms, and I feel like I want to cry, too.

Aeryn is a person who has endured so much pain in her life. She never knew her parents, and had only seen her Mother once before. As a Peacekeeper, she was denied the right to feel anything, much less love or loss. Since she had come aboard Moya, Aeryn has had her DNA frelled with by a mad scientist, has nearly died once, did die once, and has had to alter her whole way of thinking.

Now, she finally fulfills a lifelong dream, to know her Mother and know about her past. But the Mother she meets is full of hate, full of contempt for everything that Aeryn has become, everything I am proud of her for. Even though Aeryn's reunion with her Mother was not all roses, Xhalax was still her Mother, and Aeryn tried to reach out to her. But the reunion was short lived, and Aeryn found her Mother, only to loose her.

A tear falls from my eye as I look at this woman who I love more than life, and think of her life filled with pain. I make a silent vow to myself, here and now. Now that Aeryn and I are together, I vow to do everything in my power to protect Aeryn from pain. At first glance, Aeryn would not seem one in need of protection, especially from some Human with problems of his own.

But I know the real Aeryn, the one has had to face pain alone all her life with no one to protect her from it. Well, now Aeryn has a protector from pain. Me. I know I can't keep all of her pain away, but I will do my damndest to help her face the pain and win over it. I'll be her knight in shining armor by being there, by doing just what I'm doing now.

By holding this wonderful, beautiful, radiant Aeryn Sun, and protecting her from worry about facing pain alone.

The End