Antaeus: 1
By ISIS
Disclaimers: Farscape is the property of Rockne S O'Bannon, Jim Henson Company et al. I make no claim on them. I borrow only. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Archiving: You're welcome to it; please tell me where it's at. Use email address above.
Acknowledgements: Thanks as always to Quilt Lady for her great suggestions and criticisms.
"Aeryn, stop resisting me!" Zhaan's *voice* cried out in her mind.
"No!" Aeryn *cried* and she felt the shock of the broken Unity. Then everything was chaos. She was plummeting once more towards the frozen surface of the Ice Planet. Above her, John's module hovered helplessly, at once the focus of her heart and the instrument of her death.
Death.
She awoke with a start, finding herself lying in her bed, trembling. Around her, the comforting murmurs of the recovering Moya soothed the crew in their sleep like a lullabye. But for Aeryn, there could be no comfort. Even now, she felt as chilled as if she were once more under the waters of the frozen lake, or locked again in the coffin-like storage container of Grunschlk's vile body bank. She lay on her bed, stiff and ashamed, feeling as if the *sleep* she had experienced in her death --near-death... non-death -- were the last rest she would ever have. Kicking back her covers, Aeryn paced her quarters anxiously. Her first instinct was to go to John, to let him tell her that she was loved and wanted and worthy of the terrible price Zhaan was paying for her return to life. But true to her PeaceKeeper upbringing, Aeryn dutifully -- painfully -- ignored her instincts, heading instead to the central chamber, as much for a change of scenery as for a drink of water.
***************
John Crichton, lost Human astronaut, tossed restlessly in his sleep and moaned as his dream intensified. *I love you too,* he heard her say before he walked up to her in the deserted cargo bay. He reached around her and cupped her head in one hand, turning her to face him. His other hand gently wove itself in the inky silk of her hair and then his lips were on hers. John lost himself in the feel of her, the taste of her -- his living, breathing Aeryn. John moaned again, as he dreamed of her response to his kiss. He felt again the warmth of her lips on his, her soft gasp as she parted her lips to his questing tongue. Her hands caressed his neck and shoulders with aching desire. They fell to their knees, straining towards each other. In his dream, John felt himself lose control once more.
*Aeryn, no! * he cried again as he sensed her pull back from him. He endured once more her beloved voice as she told him that they should not act on their love, that it would diminish her ability to defend the ship, to be the effective soldier she had been trained to be. In his dream, he held her again, ran his fingers through her lovely dark hair, gazed into her troubled eyes. He smiled, *Aeryn, you're not in battle now. We're together. No one, not Scarrans, Nebari, Sheyangs, or whatever alien of the week we run into can overcome us. The PeaceKeepers were wrong. Emotional attachments don't weaken you -- they make you stronger. I love you, Aeryn and I want to be with you. * He held her eyes with his, saw her struggle. Then her body relaxed and he felt her surrender to his needs and to her own. Her beautiful cobalt eyes stared up at him, mirroring his own longing, then she smiled. *Yes, John. You are right. I want to make love with you. Please! * In his sleep, John smiled and murmured, "Oh yes, Aeryn. I love you so much." He rolled over to cover her body with his.
And promptly fell out of bed with a thud.
"Ah, crap!" he cursed, coming awake with an unwelcome jolt. John Crichton found himself lying on the warm, pulsating floor of his quarters, tangled in his gold blanket, his beautiful dream rapidly fading. For a microt, he lay back with a groan of disappointment. Then he disentangled himself and rose slowly and painfully to his feet. The room and the corridor outside were still darkened for the crew's sleep cycle. Finding himself suddenly wide awake, John briefly considered trying to get back to sleep but his dream had him too keyed up to relax. With another groan, he reluctantly pulled on a t-shirt and loose pants and padded out into the passageway to the central chamber in search of some water.
John was so caught up in his thoughts of his beautiful Sebacean crewmate that he didn't see her at first, sitting slumped at the central table, her head bent over a glass of water, her dark hair falling forward over her face. John knew she must be very distracted since she did not appear to hear him come in. He came into the room silently and walked over behind her. Still she did not react. Growing somewhat alarmed, John placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Aeryn jumped at his touch and spun out of her chair so fast she tipped the water. It spilled across the table, soaking her down the front of her sleeveless grey t-shirt.
"Crichton! What the frell are you doing here?" she cried, more annoyed with herself for getting caught off-guard than with John for startling her. She stood glaring at him, holding the chilly wet material away from her skin.
"Sorry for scaring you, Aeryn, but I was worried when you didn't hear me come in." He studied her face carefully. "It's not like you," he added.
Aeryn's eyes darkened sadly. "You see, I was right! I would have heard you if I hadn't been thinking about ... about ..., " her voice trailed off as she stared at him in dismay.
John stopped the grin from crossing his face, but could not stop the twinkling of his eyes. "What were you thinking about, Aeryn?"
"Nothing, " she answered darkly, turning to the sink to search for a cloth to dry herself. But John had gotten there ahead of her.
"Turn around," he ordered and began to dab at her front with the cloth. Aeryn could not help a gasp when his warm fingers lifted the wet material away from her as he tried to absorb most of the cold water. She looked down at his bent head and her fingers ached to run through his light brown hair. All she could do was stand stiffly as John continued to dry her t-shirt.
In his own right, John was starting to grow extremely aware of the unintended intimacy of his actions. He let his fingers press lightly against the soft curve of Aeryn's breast, revealed by the damply clinging fabric of her shirt. He kept his head bent, avoiding her eyes, but his movements grew softer, more caressing as he was caught up in Aeryn's closeness, her scent, and the feel of her skin. Finally, unable to help himself, John spread the cloth open and pressed it over her upper chest, holding it in place with his open hand. He heard Aeryn gasp again, then her hand came up to cover his, seemingly to remove it and hold the cloth herself, but instead her hand pressed over his and slowly guided it down so that he was cupping her breast. John lifted his head slowly to gaze into her brilliant blue eyes and found her lips inches from his own. "John," she breathed, microts before she lowered her mouth tenderly to his.
John groaned with desire as Aeryn's lips parted immediately and her tongue lightly traced the outline of his lips before sliding sensually into his mouth. He began to massage her breast with his one hand, feeling her nipple harden under his palm. His other arm snaked around her waist and his hand slid down over her Calvin-clad buttocks, pulling her up against his aching groin. He heard Aeryn moan as she felt his hard need pressing into her softness. John tore his mouth from hers, panting for air. "God, Aeryn!" he groaned against the satiny skin of her throat. "I want you so badly! I love you so much!" His hand slipped urgently down to the hem of her shirt and then up under the damp material to caress her naked breast. He pushed his knee between her thighs. Aeryn moaned again and her hips moved erotically against him. She grasped his shoulders as her knees buckled. "Aeryn, please, make love with me!"
"No!" Aeryn wailed plaintively, fighting her body's needs. "No, John! We can't! We must not!" She pushed him away from her with incredible strength.
"God, no! Aeryn, don't do this! Aeryn!" John growled in intense frustration. For a microt, the two of them faced each other, gasping for breath, oblivious to their aroused bodies. Only their conflicting emotions and beliefs consumed them. Then the tormented Sebacean straightened her dishevelled clothes and fled.
"Frell!" John stared after her in confusion,before slamming his hand painfully against the offending table and returning to his lonely bed.
***************
After the incident in the central chamber, Aeryn made it her mission to avoid having any contact with John. Whenever her thoughts returned to their encounter, which was alarmingly often, her face burned at the memory of her lack of control. She had led him on disgracefully, giving in far too easily to the pleasures of her body and the needs of her heart, instead of maintaining the discipline of her military training. Her lapse in the middle of the night only strengthened her resolve. Succumbing to John Crichton and the love she felt for him would only end in the death of all of them one day.
Death.
There it was again.
Aeryn made her way cautiously down to Zhaan's quarters, ready to bolt at the first sign of John's presence. Several times over the last few solar days, she had nearly run into the Human outside Zhaan's quarters. Like her, John felt responsible for the illness that was sucking the Delvian's life from her. But Aeryn knew that she, and she alone was to blame.
Thankfully, this time, Aeryn found Zhaan alone in her quarters, resting. Even Stark, almost always at her side, was not there. Again, Aeryn was relieved. The Stakiri made her nervous. His gifts, his ability to sense death, combined with his periodically irrational, often insane behaviour, daunted her more than her PeaceKeeper training was willing to allow her to admit.
As Aeryn hovered uncertainly in the doorway of Zhaan's room, wavering between entering and running away, Zhaan turned her head and smiled weakly at her Sebacean crewmate. "Aeryn, come in. Please, my dear."
Aeryn moved silently into the room, her face carefully schooled into an emotionless mask. "How are you feeling, Zhaan?" she asked.
"Better today," Zhaan replied, the weakness on her voice belying her words. The Delvian reached out a trembling hand to the ex-PeaceKeeper. "And how are you, my dear?"
"Fine. I'm fine," Aeryn replied automatically.
Despite her pain, Zhaan smiled. "Is that the truth, Aeryn?"
The Sebacean moved more completely into the room. "What do you want me to say, Zhaan? That I deplore the fact that you are suffering because of what you did for me? That I cannot dare to be in the same room with John for fear that I will lose myself to him? That I should have died, undeserving PeaceKeeper murderer that I am?" There was a shocked silence as Aeryn stared wide-eyed at the Delvian, overwhelmed by her uncharacteristic outburst.
Zhaan smiled sadly at her troubled comrade. She patted the bed beside her. Aeryn hesitated for a microt then sat down with a sigh. "Don't blame yourself for my illness, Aeryn. I knew exactly what I was doing when I entered Unity with you. I accepted my fate at that time. You must as well."
"But you are a tenth level Pa'u. You are spiritual. You help others. You are an asset to the universe. I am nothing but a pathetic, disavowed soldier."
Zhaan smiled again and took Aeryn's hand in hers. "You underestimate yourself, Aeryn. You too are an asset to the universe."
"Why? Because John loves me? Because I love him?" Aeryn blushed at her admission.
"Isn't that enough?"
Aeryn raised troubled eyes to Zhaan's. "I want it to be, so much. But all my life I've been told it is wrong, evil." Tears sprang unbidden into her beautiful sapphire eyes. "And what's happening to you, Zhaan -- this illness -- only proves what I was told is right."
Before the priestess could respond, Pilot's voice came across the comm on Aeryn's vest. His tone was full of excitement. "Aeryn! Zhaan! Moya and I believe we have found a planet that can heal Zhaan!"
***************
"What do you mean, no males allowed!?" John Crichton's voice was raised in anger as he spoke to Pilot on the Command. Behind him, D'Argo was equally annoyed.
"I'm sorry, Commander, but the planet's ruling council was very adamant about who could land and who could not. Apparently, they are in the midst of a very sacred ceremony. Some sort of fertility rite." Pilot's expressive eyes registered his dismay.
D'Argo snorted in outrage. "Fertility rite! Wonderful!" He glared at the symbiont's image on the clamshell. "So who is going down?"
"Zhaan, with Aeryn and Chiana."
"Chiana! Right, she'll just love a fertility ceremony," D'Argo growled sarcastically under his breath.
John frowned at the Luxan but wisely did not comment. D'Argo's break with the mercurial Nebari was still too painful a subject for the Luxan. "Okay, Pilot, if them's the rules ..."
"Pilot, we are ready to depart," Aeryn's acknowledgement came over the comm from the docking bay. John felt his heart twist at the warm sound of her voice. "We'll be back as soon as Zhaan is restored."
"Tell Zhaan we love her," John said softly.
There was a pause, then Aeryn replied in a low tender voice, "I will. We'll see you soon, John."
***************
"Wow! This place is beautiful!" Chiana enthused as they stepped from the transport pod. Aeryn concentrated on helping Zhaan from the craft, but had to agree with her young Nebari companion as they beheld the lush planet of Gaya. The whole planet was teeming with vegetation. Luxuriant green trees formed a backdrop to the city which emerged from the forest like a reef in a vast ocean. Everywhere, colourful flowers blossomed in the bright sunlight, their fragrance scenting the warm air. Zhaan closed her eyes and sighed with pleasure as the floral abundance washed over her ailing senses.
The predominant shape of the buildings was pyramidal, all connected by vast grassy plazas. One structure in particular dominated the landscape, the one to which the planet's main spaceport was attached, and it was from this building that a trio of officials approached the visitors. Aeryn watched them draw nearer, tensing as her PeaceKeeper instincts assessed any potential danger.
Zhaan placed a restraining hand on her arm. "Relax, my dear Aeryn."
Aeryn sighed. "I'm sorry, Zhaan. I can't help it."
The trio came to stand in front of the newly arrived visitors. Aeryn saw three tall and willowy bipedal entities, their scaly skin tinged as green as the grass around them. All three had bright slanted eyes of emerald green,flecked with gold, and heads as bare of hair as Zhaan's.They wore robes of silk, dyed a soft lime green and edged with richly embroidered designs that served to identify their rank and social importance. Their voices, when they spoke, seemed to be a mixture of several harmonious tones, almost like a triad of musical sounds.
"Welcome to Gaya, crew of the Leviathan Moya," the tallest of the three began. "I am Putoros. My fellow counselors are Atarbeis and Zaymenos. We are the representatives of the Ruling Council of Gaya."
Zhaan released her hold on Aeryn's arm and passed her hands over her scarfed head as she bowed in the Delvian greeting. "I am Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan. This is Aeryn Sun and Chiana." Aeryn surreptitiously supported her Delvian friend when she felt the priestess falter.
The eyes of the council members widened in surprise. "You are a Delvian?" Atarbeis asked in wonder.
"Yes," Zhaan replied simply.
The trio of counselors turned and whispered excitedly amongst themselves. Aeryn's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Finally, Putoros turned back to the visitors with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry. It's just that we have heard so much of your race, but we have never had the pleasure of encountering a being evolved from a plant. Gaya will welcome your visit."
Zhaan stepped forward, an equally welcoming smile on her face. However, her illness overcame her. Aeryn managed to catch her friend when weakness caused the Delvian to stumble.
The trio of counselors was immediately attentive. "Is something wrong?"
"Yes," Aeryn replied abruptly as she passed Zhaan over to Chiana's care. "As you rightly identified, Zhaan is a floral-evolved entity. She needs to regain her strength from rich soil. Our Leviathan informed us that the soil of your planet has the nutrients our friend needs to restore her health. Can you help us?"
Zaymenos reached out a three-fingered hand to the Delvian. Aeryn tensed immediately, but the Gayan smiled reassuringly at her, showing a double row of tiny sharp teeth. "We will certainly help your friend. The resources of our entire planet are at your disposal, Pa'u Zhaan." He bowed courteously and indicated that the visitors should follow him
Zhaan smiled wearily at the Gayans then turned to a defensive Aeryn. "It's all right, my dear. I trust these kind souls."
"There is one thing," Atarbeis began, somewhat nervously. "While on our planet, it is the custom of our people to go barefoot during the Exupnixo, the fertility ceremony." He smiled apologetically at the Sebacean's dark frown. "I'm sorry."
Chiana grinned and bent to quickly remove her boots, then giggled as she dug her bare toes into the gravel of the walkway. "That feels great!" She caught Atarbeis' indulgent smile. "I got frozen in Moya's amnexis fluid once -- don't ask how -- and ever since, I've been far more appreciative of my feet." She grinned again as she saw Aeryn hesitate then bend to unzip and remove her imposing tall black leather boots and stockings.
The Sebacean caught Chiana's stare and glared at her Nebari crewmate, then straightened and turned to Zhaan. But Putoros had graciously helped the stricken Delvian remove her soft blue boots. Aeryn stepped back to let Zaymenos lead Zhaan across the grassy plaza towards the imposing pyramid. Chiana instantly latched onto the younger Atarbeis, eagerly questioning him about his world's fertility ceremony. The patient Gayan grinned toothily at her enthusiasm and proceeded to inform her of all the festivities and celebrations that were due to occur. With a brief glance at Aeryn, then at Putoros, Atarbeis assured the excited Nebari that she and her companions would be most welcome at all the activities.
Putoros fell into step beside Aeryn as she brought up the rear of their little procession. "I want to thank you for your generosity to our friend, Putoros. We have sufficient currency aboard our vessel. We can pay you whatever you ask."
Putoros smiled gently at the Sebacean. "There is no need. One of the customs of our fertility rite is the healing of the sick. Zhaan's cure will be welcomed as a sign of prosperity by our people."
Aeryn smiled again and stepped onto the lush lawn. She shuddered immediately as a strange sensation passed through her, like a spark of energy. Startled, she leaped back onto the flagstone path. "What was that?"
Putoros stared at her in astonishment. Zaymenos was far ahead of them, but Atarbeis stopped and met Putoros' gaze in confusion. "What did it feel like?"
"Like an electrical charge passed through me," Aeryn said, frowning. She gingerly stepped onto the lawn again and felt the same charge, this time less intense and almost pleasant. "There it is again." She stared down at the ground around her.
Putoros and Atarbeis exchanged worried looks then smiled. "It must be residual electricity left over from the thunderstorm this morning. It was quite spectacular. Lightning flashed for several microts." Putoros bent down and touched the ground, his hand passing over the lawn like a caress. "Look, the ground is still wet. That must be it."
"It must have been quite a storm to leave a charge in the ground like that," Aeryn said.
"Yes, indeed it was. We always have such storms around the Exupnixo, the fertility ceremony. Gaya awakens impatiently and with intense needs," Putoros explained.