The Traveller's Song

by Shipscat

This is the story of Aeryn's parents as I imagined it.

I have no claim to Farscape, but please don't use my original characters, places , peoples and inventions without permission.

Many people gave me invaluable help. My thanks to MALar for listening to me as I told this story every night. thansk to Capt. clueless for much the same thing. Thanks to my son, groovybob, for proofreading,and to both of my kids for allowing me to use them as props. Thanks to everyone who read and encouraged me, and thanks to Kalliope for providing a copy of my story after it was eaten by my computer.

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The Traveller's Song

She awoke. By awakening that is to say that she was dragged towards consciousness unwillingly. As she got closer to being awake, she realized why it was that she didn't want to be there. The world was a haze of pain. Her head hurt. Her chest hurt. Parts of her were on fire. The stimulus that woke her was stronger than any of those pains. She had a vast and intolerable thirst. Before she could begin to move or croak out a request, there was water. Cool, wet and delicious. And an arm to hold her head up so that she could drink. Strangely the water burned as she drank it but still it quenched her thirst. She tried to say thank you but nothing came out. She opened her eyes to see the kindest eyes she had ever seen smiling down at her. "You're welcome," he said very gently. "Do you know who you are and what you're doing here?"

She nodded carefully . She wasn't too sure that her head was fastened securely enough for more vigorous movement. "The crash. she managed to get out before being seized by a violent fit of coughing. He wiped the spittle off her chin after she quit coughing. "What happened to the others?" she managed to say in a halfway normal voice. "They didn't make it," he said, even more gently. Tears came to eyes that were too dry and barren for tears. Her weak voice quivered, "But I tried so hard. Are you sure?" A momentary look of confusion came over his face. As it cleared, he looked stricken. "No. No. The three still in the transport died. The six in your unit who were out of the transport are fine. You're the only customer I have left. Frankly, I'm a little surprised, but you're going to make it, too."

The relief she felt brought a small smile to her face. "Not half as surprised as I am," she said dryly. " I gave myself up for dead after the third guy." The confused look was back but she didn't notice it. "I knew I was going to give out eventually and it just kept getting hotter and hotter.." Her voice gave out again and she turned her face away. "Shh," he said. "You can tell me about it later. I'm going to keep you for a while longer. You have smoke inhalation and burns..nothing permanent except that I'm afraid the wound on your face is going to scar. It could be fixed if we were on a base but it's purely cosmetic so I don't think Peacekeeper high command will give it a high priority. "

"Why would it matter? " she whispered, to tired to turn her head back.

"It's a shame to mar such a pretty face," he said, touching the bandage on her cheek.

"Did you... cut my hair?" she asked, in a very quiet whisper.

"No," he said, happy to be giving good news. " I didn't have to, and its not even singed. You're going to have to let me know if you need any painkillers."

"I'm fine", she said tersely. "Leave me alone."

He looked at her for a moment, then turned away. She felt a sudden sting on her arm. Anger gave her enough strength to rise up a bit and look him in the eye. "I am not going back to sleep," she said indignantly.

"I'm sorry. It's my job," he replied calmly.

"I may not be a medtech but I outrank you," she said , a little more threateningly.

"I'm not scared. I know you're going to feel a lot better about this tomorrow."

She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious that he was laughing at her. "When I feel better, I'm going to get you. You think you can do whatever you want, but you can't..." She trailed off because she wasn't sure what she was talking about anymore.

"It's for your own good, sweetie," he said soothingly.

She closed her eyes and mumbled. "That's Officer Sun".

"What was that?" he asked.

She made a bigger effort. "*Officer* sweetie."

"Okay," he agreed.

As it turned out, the medtech was right. She felt a lot better about it when she woke up. In fact, she felt a lot better about everything. Although she still hurt, the pain was in a more manageable range and she felt the overwhelming feeling of being alive that came from unjustly beating death. She was also starving.

The medtech from the day before was sitting at a desk looking at charts through some sort of eyepiece. Hoping that he wasn't upset about her behavior from the day before, she ventured a greeting. He turned around in his chair and smiled at her. Sitting up by herself this time with a minimum of grimacing, she asked in a very polite voice, "May I have something to eat?"

"What do you want?" he asked, also very politely.

"Anything," she said with feeling.

"That I can do," he replied, and left the room to return shortly with a plate. She was halfway through eating the food before she realized that it was very good. "You know, these aren't food cubes." she said with her mouth full. "No, they aren't," he agreed.

"Do you feed your patients like this all the time? Because we don't eat like this. Do medical personnel get more real food?" she asked. He understood her even though she had not bothered to quit eating long enough to talk. "Just trying to get your strength up," he said offhandedly.

"Frelling great. " she said, as she washed down the last of the meal. "Now I have to pee."

"I can call a female medtech if you want," he offered.

"I think I can do it if you help me to the waste facility," she said, looking at him as if daring him to disagree with her. He nodded assent and she scooted gingerly to the edge of the bed. He gave her a hand and she stood up, swaying for a moment before getting her balance. He helped her to the restroom and waited anxiously until she came back out. "I did it. It's the high point of my day. I managed to use the waste facility," she said triumphantly. He grinned as he helped her back to the bed. After a couple of attempts she realized there was no way she was going to get back on the bed. She simply didn't have the strength to pull herself up that high. Scooping her up carefully, the man beside her lifted her easily and laid her neatly on the bed. "Thanks, " she said reluctantly. "Why do they make these beds so high? If it weren't so high I could have managed."

"It's because we actually operate, take care of wounds and scan people on them. They're built for our convenience, not yours. Now I think the beds should be built to move up and down, but nobody asked me," he said, and started back to his table to go back to whatever she had interrupted.

She pulled herself up on one elbow and watched him. "You look strong enough and big enough to be a soldier. Why are you a medtech?"

"Because I like sewing people together better than I do tearing them apart." he said, without looking up.

"How could you have a choice about it?" she asked, even more curious.

"I do very well at the mental tests, " he said, looking at her very seriously. "But for some reason I have trouble with my aim and I always seem to fall apart in battle simulations."

"You mean you cheat?! " she said. The idea was horrifying and intriguing at the same time. It was also puzzling. Everyone wanted to be a soldier, they were the top of the food chain, except for command, and they were all old soldiers.

"No. I just pretend I'm not any good at it, and they let me do what I want." He came back over and sat down on the bed next to hers. "Since you're in the mood to talk, maybe you can tell me how you happened to be the one to pull those people out of the wreckage."

"I was there. I don't understand what you want to know," she said with a little shrug.

"Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me how it happened." He leaned forward encouragingly.

Meara slowly rolled over onto her uninjured side so that she was facing him and laid her head on the pillow which she scrunched up so her head was resting a little higher. He started to stand up at her action but sat back down as she successfully completed it.

"There were fumes...smoke, maybe..before the transport went down," she said, remembering. "I put my helmet on when I saw them. I guess I was the only one."

He was listening intently.

"I started towards the cockpit and then we hit. I fell and hit the floor. After a moment I got up and everyone seemed to be unconscious. It was hard to see. I remembered where the exit was and grabbed the arm of the person I was on top of and dragged them to the exit. We were outside and I realized we were the only ones who got out, so I went back in. I knew when I went back in that my helmet was leaking because I could smell something awful."

"It was smashed into the side of your face," he added helpfully. She gave him a look of mingled horror and something close to amusement.

"I went back in and dragged out the next guy and the next and I thought well, this is it, I'm not going to be able to get them all out and I'm going to die in here. There were flames and it just kept getting hotter and hotter and the worst part is that I didn't know if I was pulling out corpses or not. I didn't have time to check and .. she stopped. The tears were back and her voice was breaking.

"It's alright," he said, looking as if he wanted to make everything better. "You know it was worth it." he reminded her.

"Yes", she said, smiling. "I went in after the seventh person-I was counting because I knew there were ten on the ship and i couldn't tell who anyone was anyway. I guess I passed out and that's all I remember."

"Someone you saved regained consciousness and went in after you," he continued the story. "The other three didn't make it out."

"Who?" she asked.

'I think his name is Lt. Broc. He came by to check on you a couple of times."

"A couple of times? When?"

"You were still...unconscious," he said. "Do you want to see him if he asks again?"

"I should thank him," she said. She was starting to feel extremely tired and drew her legs up further into a fetal position. He got up and pulled the blankets over her and pulled her hair out from under her shoulder and smoothed it over the covers. "Maybe you'll have good dreams now," he said quietly.

This time Meara awoke to see an unfamiliar face. Actually, she only woke up because the person who belonged to the unfamiliar face was shaking her and calling her name. "What?' she said, opening one eye and fixing it on the unwelcome intruder. "It's time for your pill," a voice chirped beside her ear. "What's that for?" she asked as she opened the other eye. The young female medtech said, "It's to help you sleep" with no sense of irony whatsoever.

"I was asleep," Meara said sleepily. "Why would you wake me up to give me a pill to help me sleep? Wasn't I doing a good job of it by myself?"

"You're supposed to take a pill," she said earnestly.

"Forget it," the wounded soldier said, starting to look more than a little irritated. "I'm awake now. Where's Medtech Aeryst?" she asked, looking around the room.

"He asked me to stay with you. He had something he had to do," the tech replied, sounding a trifle resentful.

"You don't sound very happy about it, " Meara said casually, as she tried sitting up in the bed. To her delight, she discovered that she could sit up and swing her legs over the side of the bed with no difficulty at all.

"He's really tough," she said. "Once he put me on clean up duty for a monen because he didn't think I was watching a patient carefully enough."

That was interesting. It didn't fit with what Meara thought of him. "What happened to the patient?" she asked.

"Uh, nothing," the other woman said nervously. "Nothing really bad, anyway."

Meara carefully got out of bed. She was thinking that she had had just about enough of being in the infirmary.

"I really don't think that you should be doing that.." Now the medtech sounded really nervous.

"Where's my uniform?" Meara asked expectantly, raising both arched eyebrows at her.

"Um, it's gone," she said. "They had to cut it off you. It was burned through in a couple of places anyway," she finished, with a little shake of her head.

"Boots?" Meara asked, as if she held the girl personally responsible for what happened to her clothes. The girl shook her head no.

"Okay," Meara said, biting her lower lip and looking around the room. She saw a labrobe hanging over the chair next to the desk and put it on over the flimsy gown she was wearing. As loose as it was it wasn't easy to get it over the bulky bandages on her left side and arm. A little more scouting revealed her pulse rifle and sidearms, so she grabbed them as well.

"You can't just leave like this."

"Are *you* going to stop me?" Meara asked as she headed for the door. Behind her she could hear a sad, "Not another monen of clean-up duty."

The first door led to a room full of strange and unfamiliar instruments. A large metal cauldron was emitting steam and clanking. She wasn't at all sure that she was heading out, but she reasoned that if she kept opening doors she would eventually find a corridor and then she would have no trouble finding her own cubicle, where she was sure it would be much easier to sleep. She stopped at the next door because she heard voices coming from the other side of it. The first voice she heard was clearly recognizable as Medtech Aeryst.

"Why did you let them think it was you?"

"She wasn't supposed to live. I didn't think there was any sense in a dead person gathering all the glory. This is the kind of opportunity that leads to rapid advancement."

She recognized the second voice as belonging to Lt. Broc.

"What were you planning to do about it now that you know she's going to recover?" Aeryst said, sounding as if he were having trouble keeping his temper under control.

"It's my word against hers. It's just who they choose to believe."

"What did you actually put in your report?"

"I haven't yet. I told them I really don't remember very much." Broc was sounding uncomfortable.

"All right. That makes it easier. Her injuries are consistent with dragging six people out of burning wreckage. Yours are not. That means it's not just your word against hers. However, it is not unusual for people with head injuries such as you had to lose memory of the events surrounding the injury. It's also not unusual to regain the memory, which is what I suggest you do very quickly."

"You're giving me an out?" Broc said, in a puzzled voice.

"You can't be all bad. You saved her."

Meara was still trying to absorb what she had just heard when the door opened. Both she and Aeryst stood in silence for a moment staring at each other. She realized from the heat on her cheeks that she was blushing.

"You should be in bed."

She lowered her eyes. "Yes, sir," she said, almost meekly. He reached over and took her guns away, carefully taking the strap of the pulse rifle off of her shoulder. She turned around and headed towards the opposite door. The female medtech fled when she saw them enter the room. When Meara got to the bed, she put her arms around his neck and waited for him to pick her up. When he set her down, it seemed to her that he held on just a little longer than he needed to. "I'm not going to let you go until you're ready," he said.

By the next day Meara was feeling much better. Medtech Gunyla had assisted her with a sponge bath and washed her hair. Meara had thought to ask her, a little guiltily, if she had been given Clean-up duty, whatever that was. The medtech had told her quite smugly that in fact Aeryst had told her that it was not her fault and that he blamed Officer Sun entirely. Aeryst had replaced the bulky dressings with slimmer bandages, and told her that she would get to leave in the morning. She had also managed to get back onto the impractically high bed by herself. She had just talked Aeryst into sending someone to pick up her spare uniform and some of her own underwear, which involved his extracting promises on her part not to leave until the morrow, when someone came in and drew Aeryst aside. After a whispered conversation, Aeryst came over to Meara and informed her that Broc was here, if she felt up to seeing him.

"Dren. I don't have my uniform yet," she said, attempting to get a brush through her long dark hair. She discovered that the muscles in her shoulder and back really hurt when she tried to raise her arm that high. Aeryst took the brush from her and started to methodically and gently untangle her hair one lock at a time.

"You don't have to see him if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay. I need to do this sometime."

"Why is your hair so long?" he said, wincing as he pulled out a particularly nasty snarl.

"It's regulation," she said defensively. "I keep it tied back."

"I mean, why isn't it like the rest of your unit? I know its customary for units to adopt similar hairstyles, and yours tends to wear short hair."

"Assignments don't last forever, and it takes a long time to grow it back," she said very shortly. "It's my hair."

"It's very pretty," he said, in a tone of voice that belied any criticism about her choice.

"Hmm," she said. " Can you make a braid?" she asked hesitantly.

"If you don't want it too neat," he said.

"Maybe it's too much trouble," she said uncomfortably, pulling away a little. His fingers brushed the back of her neck as he gathered hanks of hair and divided them. She shivered each time his hands brushed her back, but she kept still. Soon the simple braid was finished. She raised her hands up carefully and patted her hair.

"Not bad," she said.

"I had three little sisters," he said, and to her surprise and consternation, gave her braid a tug.

Meara had propped herself upright as well as she could. She was wearing the white coat she had stolen earlier and had the covers drawn up to her waist. She still felt that it would have been better to be sitting in a chair or standing to face Broc, but she knew that even if she had the strength to carry it off, she didn't have the strength to fight medtech Aeryst about it as well.

Lt. Broc came striding in. Aeryst's presence earned a brief scowl, but Broc's face lit up with a genuine smile of delight when he saw Meara. Her back stiffened and she lifted her chin when she saw him.

"Officer Sun."

"Sir," she said, with an implied salute.

"I.. It's good to see you. You look pretty damned good for someone they'd written off as dead."

"Thank you," she said. "And thank you for my life."

"Thank you for mine," he said sincerely. "There's something I needed to discuss with you but I think it would be better if we were alone." He cast a pointed look Aeryst's direction. Aeryst was situated not three feet away, within easy earshot .

"Here and now is fine. "

"Doesn't he have anything better to do?" Broc suggested.

"No," Meara said definitively.

Broc evidently decided to ignore the medtech's presence and went on. "You may hear that some people believed that I was the one who saved everyone in that transport. This was a mistake, that happened, I suppose, because I was seen rescuing you. I just want you to know that I know that you saved my life and the others and that is what I am going to tell every one."

"It's good to know that you have such reverence for the truth," Meara said.

"I would never do anything to hurt you.'"

"I'm not worried about that. I am concerned about someone taking credit when it isn't due them," she said flatly.

"It was wrong. But you had had heat delirium for three days and they had already decided to euthanise you, and I didn't think you would ever know about it." This time Meara looked over at Aeryst, a question on her face. "I wish it had been me, " Broc continued.

"I didn't do it for the glory, Broc. "

"I know." By this time he was looking very uncomfortable.

"I'm not going to say anything. I know you're not a monster and I know you can do better," Meara said wearily.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, and turned to go.

After he left, she and Aeryst exchanged glances. "Maybe I should leave," he said.

"I'm not ready to be alone yet," she said, looking at him from underneath her lashes. She was sitting and twisting the bed sheets between her hands.

Aeryst came around to the front of the desk and leaned against it, his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms folded. "Why does he care so much about what you think about him?" he asked directly.

"He's just a crewmate," she said absently. "Why did you let me live?" she asked, accusingly. She could tell that she had his undivided attention. He leaned forward a little and looked at her speculatively. Meara felt that she had never really noticed him before. He had been part of the infirmary, like a bandage or a pain pill. She was surprised by the intensity of his gaze and the sharp intelligence behind his blue eyes.

"I didn't let you. I had to help you."

"How bad was it?" she asked with horror in her voice.

"You were out of it for three days."

"I want to know. Tell me about it."

"You were delirious. You were hallucinating. You had spasms. That's why you still hurt so much."

"How could you stand by and watch that?" she asked, angrily.

"You were on the edge. I thought I could bring you back," he said calmly.

"I didn't ask you to," she retorted. The bedsheets were in serious danger of ripping.

"Maybe you'd rather be dead right now," Aeryst said.

"Maybe I'd rather not be a mindless vegetable."

"I was right. I'm not sorry I made the decision that I did."

She looked down at her lap and let out a long breath. "Did I say anything...personal?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "You kept thinking you were still in the wreckage...you complained about the heat and kept saying you were trapped and you needed to get out." He looked pained at the memory.

She dropped the sheets and looked at him appraisingly.

"If there was anything else, I would tell you," he assured her. There was a little silence as she thought for a moment.

"I'm not recreating with him," she announced suddenly, not looking at Aeryst. "It's against my policy."

"What policy?" he managed.

"I don't do that with people from my own unit. It causes problems and its not good to show favoritism. I think its important to treat everyone equally," she explained.

"What if everyone doesn't ask?" he said, a little overwhelmed by the onslaught of information.

"They do," she said, shrugging and looking at him with perfect sincerity. He opened his mouth, started to say something, thought better of it, and closed his mouth again. "I think you'd better get some rest," he said.