The Traveller's Song (pt. 7)

by Shipscat

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Talyn had resumed training with Broc. He didn't tell Meara, but the main reason was to keep Broc busy so that Meara wouldn't have to find excuses not to work out with him. To Broc's credit, he seemed to like the fact that Talyn was willing to give him another chance. It was after Talyn left that Marik approached Broc.

"I know something about that Captain of yours that you might want to know," Marik said without any preliminaries.

"What makes you think I don't already know?" Broc said matter-of-factly. He looked at Marik calmly, but inwardly he braced himself for what was coming next.

Marik looked confused. "Then you know that she's going to be in a lot of trouble when we get back. I don't see why we should be blamed, too."

"There's no reason for the crew to get into trouble, Marik. You're worrying about nothing," Broc said, toweling off.

"But," Marik said, "There's no reason for the glory to go to someone who's spacing her career out the airlock, either. Don't you think it's suspicious that they wouldn't let us near that weapon they're so proud of? They don't want us to get any of the credit."

"Look, buddy, I trained on the pipes. I just wasn't any good at it," Broc said, shaking his head, "I'm not going to get involved in anything that smacks of mutiny. We all need to stick together."

"We'll all stick together until we get back. Then we'll all go down together," he said ominously and left.

Broc stood there thinking for a microt. It was unsettling that Marik knew about Meara and Talyn but he didn't think it was too serious. It's not like there was anything proveable-it wasn't High Command's business who you recreated with and if they didn't like it, they'd probably just separate them, which probably wouldn't be a bad idea anyway. He decided it would be a good idea to tell Meara about this conversation the next chance he got. Maybe it would bring her to her senses if she knew that she was causing dissension among the crew. Of course, it probably wouldn't, since this was Marik, but it would give him a chance to interject a couple of opinions of his own as well.

That night Talyn was awakened by a shudder passing through the ship. Coming from a planet without earth tremors, he had nothing to compare it to. It was followed shortly by Broc banging on the door and then opening it.

"Emergency! C'mon!"

"Did we hit something?" Talyn asked groggily, pulling the blanket over Meara.

"No. I think it's the engines." And he was gone.

Meara slept through the whole thing, even Broc's entrance. Talyn went through the routine of waking her up that he had perfected, a combination of shaking her, yelling in her ear, and then ducking. Shortly they were both on their way to find out what had happened.

The two of them reached the engine room to find no one there. Meara immediately checked the controls. At first she found nothing amiss, but then she yelled for Talyn. He was surprised by the look of utter horror on her face. Looking into the monitor, he saw Risa lying on the floor of a small room and Broc pounding on the door. A brightly glowing green gas was flowing out of a crack in a large canister.

"Is that what I think it is?" Talyn asked in shock.

"Tirisium," Meara said, grabbing a space suit and starting to put it on. She zipped it up and started towards a door on the other side of the room. After a microt's disorientation, Talyn realized that the door was the door leading to the room on the monitor, even though they could not hear Broc's pounding.

"Oh, no," he said, putting himself between Meara and the door. "No way are you going into that room."

"We have to get them out before it's too late," Meara said calmly, but urgently, screwing the helmet of the suit on.

Talyn took it back off again and grabbed her by the shoulders. "That stuff can trigger labor, Meara. You could lose the baby long before it fried your lungs or gave you brain fever. I'll do it."

It only took a microt for his words to sink in. She nodded assent and started stripping. Between the two of them, the suit came off quickly. "I'll try to override the doorlocks," she said. As Talyn started suiting up, with her help, she said, "Be careful. I don't want to lose you," and kissed him fast and hard.

It became apparent very quickly that Meara was not going to be able to get the door open.

"Dren!" she said, finally starting to lose her cool. "The emergency locks won't let me override. There must be enough radiation in there to trigger them."

"Well, what are you supposed to do if someone's caught in there with a radiation leak?" Talyn asked.

"You're supposed to let them die," Meara said. "Okay, let me think. The atmosphere scrubbers can take care of this but it takes at least an arn." She looked over at Talyn.

He shook his head. "Way too long."

"And of course, the other problem is that it's continuing to leak as it goes, so it would be even longer. We could blow the door," she suggested. "Overload a pulse rifle and lay it down next to it. Quick and effective."

The monitor showed Broc hacking and coughing. Risa was still. "That canister is huge. It could poison the entire ship. I have no idea what the hezmana it's doing here. Do you know that's the same damned stuff they use to induce brain fever? Just a capsule under the nose and-"

"It powers the particle beam weapon." Meara was still thinking furiously. "We blow the door and patch it quick with a temporary energy field. That way only a little gets out, we drag them out of here and start the atmosphere scrubbers."

"Any way to close this room off to the rest of the ship?"

Meara shook her head. "It's worth the risk."

"I have a better idea," Talyn said, grabbing a laser saw from the equipment pack. "We cut from the outside. When you see that the gas is going out of the room, drag them out."

"Or I go outside."

"Dren," Talyn thought. Which was more dangerous, for her to go into the room with the tirisium or to be hanging off the outside of the ship? "You stay. Make sure we aren't accelerating!" he said as he ran to the stairs leading up to the next level.

Meara checked the ship's speed and direction to ascertain that the automatic pilot was on and that they were not accelerating. Then she dragged a suitably large and uncrushable object to the door and then stood by the monitor. She was surprised to see that the gas had not spread much farther. Evidently the decision making process had taken less time than her agonizingly long perception of it had been. She was worried about whether Talyn would be able to get through the outside of the marauder. She knew it was well-armored and had no idea if a laser saw could cut through it.

Meanwhile Talyn found the airlock and the hook to attach his line to. He had never space walked before, but he knew he had to get it right. He guessed that the room was right behind the port for the particle beam weapon, and he quickly found what he thought was the right spot. He started in with the laser saw. it looked like it was making a difference, but far, far, too slowly. He was also finding to difficult to use with his fingers bandaged, so he switched hands so that his left hand was guiding the laser saw and his right was holding him close to the ship.

The laser saw was too slow. He failed to make even a tiny hole through the armor, and he knew time was running out. Going with his second idea, he took his laser pistol out of his belt and braced himself carefully. It wasn't difficult to hit the same small spot at this close range. On the fourteenth shot, he was rewarded by seeing what looked like a small hole appear . He didn't stop shooting until he saw a glowing green gas come through the hole. It was readily visible in the darkness of space.

Meara saw the gas being drawn to the hole Talyn had somehow created. She immediately started keying the door over and over, knowing that she could get it unlocked as soon as the radiation levels were low enough to quit triggering the emergency override locks. As she was punching in the same code again and again, she became aware of the fact that Marik had finally shown up. "Marik! I need you to help me get Broc and Risa out of here when the door opens."

Marik backed up, shaking his head. "No, they're both dead. I'm not going to die, too."

Meara looked at him with extreme disgust. "Then go help Talyn get back in the ship. He's outside and -"

Marik was gone. The door opened. Meara pushed the object in to wedge the door open. The hole that Talyn had made was high up and small. The vacuum was not exerting a lot of force on anything in the room but she could see that gas flowing upward to it. There was no visible gas elsewhere in the room. Broc was down, so she she grabbed his collar and yanked up. He got unsteadily to his feet and she shoved him towards the door. She grabbed Risa and started dragging her towards the door, where she encountered Broc sprawled across the door stop. She gave him a huge shove and threw Risa after him with all of her strength. She cleared the doorstop and landed on Broc. Meara threw herself after Risa and kicked the object into the room. The doors closed. Meara wondered randomly if the object was anything important, because she had no idea what it was and it was locked away now. She got up and tried to assess Broc and Risa's condition. Broc was still coughing uncontrollably and Risa was jerking spasmodically. Risa looked bad to Meara and there was no sign that Talyn was back yet.

Talyn tucked the laser pistol back in his belt. Green air was flowing out of the hole at a quicker pace. He suddenly realized that he had let go of the line and it had drifted away, blown by the air coming out of the ship. He started slowly and carefully climbing to the airlock, his only thought wondering if Meara had managed to get Broc and Risa out and what kind of condition they were in.

Meara had no idea what to do for Broc and Risa. Broc's body wrenching coughs were frightening, but there wasn't even a flicker of consciousness from Risa. She found an oxygen mask in the first aid closet and gave it to Broc. He seemed to be able to hold it up to his face. She strapped one on to Risa's face and went to see what happened to Talyn.

Meara found a porthole that was close to where Talyn should be. To her horror, she saw his line floating free. She was almost done suiting up when she heard the sound of the outer door to the airlock opening. As soon as the outer door closed, she opened the inner door and pulled him in.

"Where is your line?" she yelled.

"Lost it," he said, pulling his helmet off.

"You are supposed to attach it here," she said, indicating the back of his belt. "That was really dumb." She smacked him hard on the eema for emphasis. "Haven't you ever done this before?"

"Uh, no."

"Well, you should have told me that before you went out there. Come on. You have to look at Broc and Risa."

"I guess it worked then."

Between the two of them they managed to get the wounded two to the infirmary. Meara asked if they should cool Risa down, knowing that if it were heat that were affecting her it would help. Talyn told her it wouldn't and she had done the best thing for them. They laid Risa on the lone table, leaving Broc slumped on the floor. After only a few microts of having Risa under the scanner, Talyn shook his head sadly and started preparing an injection. "It's too late, Meara. Risa's well into the living death."

Meara laid a restraining hand on his arm. "But you can't give up on her," she pleaded. "You didn't give up on me."

"This is different, Meara. Trust me. There's no brain function left." She could tell by the look on his face that it was true. They both turned to look at Broc, who was watching avidly but silently. He turned his face away from them.

Talyn calmly placed the canister in the injector for the nerve shot.

"No," said Meara, pulling out her pistol. "She was a soldier. She would want to die like one."

"It's all right, Meara. It's my job. I can do this. It will be quick and painless."

"Talyn." Meara was very calm and very gentle. "Stand down." And for the first and only time in their life together, she added, "That's an order."

Talyn looked her in the eye and he knew she was serious. He backed off and watched as Meara shot Risa once, at point blank range, in the heart. Broc turned his face away again after it was done. His coughing increased. As Talyn checked to see that her vital signs were gone, Meara noticed that Marik was standing outside the room looking in. He startled when Meara addressed him. "Marik, I want you to carry her down the hall and put her in Broc's room." Marik looked for a microt as if he would like to refuse, but the look on Meara's face and the gun in her hand stopped him from saying anything. "Carefully," she added.

Talyn nodded agreement and soon Broc was lying on the table. Talyn placed a different mask on Broc's face and strapped it on. He mixed some kind of medicine and put it in the nebulizer that was pumping oxygen into the mask. When Meara was sure that Broc was stable and Talyn didn't need her, she left, saying that she wanted to check out the ship.

By the time Meara returned there was only a dim light on and Talyn was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. She slumped down beside him and said dully, "There doesn't seem to be anything else wrong with the ship. Tomorrow I'll start trying to find out what happened."

"Broc's going to be fine. His lungs are burned, but they'll heal. I gave him a painkiller and we need to keep pumping the medication into his lungs. I have to stay with him for a while."

"Can we move him someplace more comfortable?"

Talyn shook his head. "The machine's hooked up to the wall. Meara, what's all this 'she's a soldier' dren?" he said mildly.

"I just didn't want you to have to do it." She put her head on his shoulder. "I can't believe she's gone."

"What did you do before when you lost a crewmate?" he said, placing his arm around her and pulling her close.

"Got dren-faced and frelled someone I'd never met before," she said, relaxing against him.

"Did it work?" he asked softly.

"Well, yeah, kind of.." She shrugged and lifted her eyebrows. "But I never lost someone I cared about so much before.." She buried her face in his shoulder. After a microt he realized that she was crying very very softly. Although he had seen tears in her eyes on several occasions, he had never seen her cry. He held her and whispered in her ear. When she continued to cry, he pulled her onto his lap and held her closely, rocking her gently until they both fell asleep.

The three of them spent the night in the infirmary. Talyn had to get up a couple of times when Broc started choking on his own phlegm. Meara refused to leave when he suggested she would be more comfortable in their own room, so he got some blankets and pillows and made them a pallet on the floor. They spent a fitful and uncomfortable night.

Broc was doing much better the next day. When he woke Meara was standing beside him, smiling down at him. "Looks like you're too stubborn to die," she said warmly.

"Looks like I have you to thank for my life again." His voice was a little raspy but serviceable.

"No. You have Talyn to thank. He came up with a plan that made it possible to get you out of there," Meara contradicted him. "You went in after Risa, didn't you?"

"It didn't help-I don't know, maybe it was too late when i went in. If Marik hadn't run off-"

"Marik was there?"

"After the ship shook, I went to get you." Broc sounded like his memory was a little fuzzy. "And I went down to the engine room... Marik was running out with one of the Traveller suits on. I don't know what that means," he said looking up at Meara. She gave Talyn a quick glance. It was obvious he was thinking the same thing she was.

"It means he killed Risa," she said in a voice of utter condemnation. She coldly and calmly drew her gun and left the room without another word. Talyn started to go after her.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Believe me, you don't want to try to stop her when she's like that," came from the table.

"What do you think she's going to do?" Talyn asked, worried.

"If we're lucky she'll shoot him. Don't worry, she can handle Marik."

Meara found Marik mopping the hallway. He turned white when he saw her and clutched the metal handle nervously. "It was an accident, I swear."

"Drop it and hand me your gun," she said with him squarely in her sights.

He followed her orders, babbling. "I didn't mean it. I didn't want Risa to get hurt."

"What did you do?"

"I was just practicing the pipes. I did something wrong, I don't know what, and there was a huge noise..the ship was shaking and I left so I wouldn't get found out."

"You didn't see Risa go in. You didn't lock her in because she saw you?"

"No." He was visibly shaking now.

"I don't believe you. I think at the least you failed to help Risa when she needed it."

"What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? I can't take it back."

"I want," Meara started slowly and carefully, "for you to give me a reason to shoot you. I want you to take a swing at me. I want you to say something obnoxious like you always do." The menace in her voice was unmistakable. "I want you to look at me funny."

Marik did none of those things. He stood completely still, his eyes large and frightened.

Meara sighed. She motioned him forward with her gun and took him to the holding cell. "Strip."

He stripped down to his underwear. Meara nodded at him and he took those off, too. She motioned him into the cell and locked it. She gave his underwear a brief perusal and kicked it into the cell. As she turned to go, a very small and frightened voice said behind her, "I know things about you. I know you are going to have an unlawful baby. You can't accuse me of sabotage, I'll tell them-"

A wave of fear washed over Meara. She stopped and was about to turn around, every instinct telling her to get rid of this threat and protect herself. Then a small voice inside her said, 'right, you're going to shoot a naked man in a jail cell.' She let out a deep breath. There had to be a better way, even if it meant trouble for herself. "You don't make threats from that side of those bars, Marik. It doesn't work," she said calmly and left without turning around again.

When she returned to the infirmary, Broc was up and around. At both men's inquiring looks, she said "He's in the holding cell."

"No luck this time," Talyn said dryly.

"I don't want either one of you to go near him. We'll decide what to do with him later. Right now I want to check the ship again for structural damage. Also, since the canister was broken by the sound weapon I want to check all the helmets and, I don't know, anything that might be cracked. Then we'll have to think about spacing Risa." Meara was looking tired and defeated. Talyn placed his hand over hers. Meara looked at him for a microt. He thought he saw something like fear in her eyes. "We have a lot to do."

During the course of the day they managed to each tell their part of what happened. They knew as much as they were ever going to find out about the accident. Broc grinned wickedly when he heard about Talyn not securing his line properly. Meara colored a bit when she asked quite innocently why Risa was sleeping near the engines when the accident happened. It had never occurred to her when she gave Broc the First Officer's room that he and Risa would not be taking full advantage of the privacy as she and Talyn had. Risa was still "sleeping" in her bunk in the engine room. When Meara decided that they had done enough, Talyn went to get the body. Meara and Broc were waiting for him to return.

"I was wrong about Talyn. You were right. He did put me back together when I needed it, and he's not a coward. And he didn't mess up. Much."

This was a huge compliment coming from Broc. "I knew that," Meara said. She thought maybe such a big concession needed something a little more. "I over-reacted when you dislocated his arm. I'm sorry."

"S'okay." Broc hesitated. "I don't understand you and him, but.. I know." He was having a lot of trouble finding the right words. He turned and looked Meara in the eye . "I know there is something special about you. I know the way you feel about him is the same, somehow. Like how you always want to do the right thing and you care what happens to your crewmates, and you risk yourself for others. It's just the way you are." He stopped, having embarrassed himself into silence.

Meara looked up at him and gave him a beatific smile. "Thank you," she said, with the voice of someone who has received a wonderful and unexpected gift. She reached over and gave his hand a little squeeze. He looked even more embarrassed, so she slammed her shoulder into his, almost knocking him off balance. He growled a little and smiled.

Meara gave a short speech about Risa's service record and bravery and finished with "and she was a good friend." They placed her gently outside. Immediately afterward, Broc brought out a large bottle of raslak and offered a toast. The three of them sat at the table while Broc filled their glasses. Meara hesitated before picking up her glass and glanced interrogatively at Talyn. He gave her an almost imperceptible shake of the head. When they toasted Risa, she brought the glass up to her lips and then put it down. "I think I'll leave the raslak to you two. I'm going to get some sleep."

"You're going to let us get sloshed and you're going to bed? Who's going to be running things?" Broc asked.

"The ship will be fine. Just don't touch any of the controls. And stay away from Marik!"

Meara was not sleeping. She was lying in bed trying to decide what to do about Marik and thinking about Risa. She was also thinking about the Johians and the supplies they needed. Unfortunately, all the worrying was getting her nowhere. Her thoughts kept going around in circles and keeping her awake. She heard Talyn when he came in much later even though he was trying to be quiet.

"I'm not asleep."

"I had too much to drink," Talyn said, slipping under the covers.

"Did you frell anyone?" Meara murmured, slipping into his arms.

"Broc is not my type." He shook his head.

"I am," she said confidently, laying her head on his chest and pressing her body against his.

"I've had a little too much raslak, I think. Do you really want to?"

"No. Not really. I just wanted to let you know I was here." She snuggled in closer.

"I know," he said, stroking her hair.

"What did you two talk about?" she asked, deciding that this might be one of those occasions where he wanted to talk.

"Broc is... upset. I think maybe he's a little less tough than he lets on."

"Humhmm"

"He said something strange. He said that he thought I gave you something that he couldn't give Risa and he said Risa needed it more because she wasn't as strong."

Meara was surprised. That sounded very perceptive for Broc. It was also surprising and sad that Broc had regrets about Risa, that maybe he had cared about her enough to wish he had cared about her more.

Meara pushed herself up so she could look in his eyes. "I don't want to have any regrets when one of us dies. If I had never met you, I would never have loved anyone and I can't imagine that now. I love you more than life. You know that, don't you?" Her dark eyes glowed with intensity.

"Uh, Yeah." He smiled at her. "Yes, I did."

She layed her head back down. "Well, that's ok. As long as you know."

Meara awoke to find the room ice cold, just the way she liked it for sleeping, and Talyn gone. She was alarmed to think that she had gone into the heavy sleep that she had been doing and he had not woken her, because she knew that they were due to arrive at Joh within twenty arns at the course she had set the night before. She soon realized that she had been asleep for about twelve arns, which was a ridiculous amount of sleep. Add to that the hours she had spent tossing and turning and they'd be on top of Joh in no time.

"Why didn't you wake me?" she hissed at Talyn when she got to command.

"I was worried because you hadn't been sleeping very much the past couple of days," he whispered back. "I would have woken you up when we got there."

A quick check of the systems showed that everything looked fine. "Anyone go near Marik?"

Talyn shook his head. "Broc got up late too. He's hung over."

"I'm going to check on him quickly. I need to tell you something when we get a microt alone," she said quietly, and left. She very quickly made sure Marik was still there and in one piece. She threw some food cubes at him and ignored his whining.

When they reached Joh, the Johians flatly refused their requests to land, no matter how placating Meara tried to be. "Well, it's not like they can really keep us from doing it," she said furiously. "We could just take what we need."

"Meara," Talyn started reasonably, "you are not seriously thinking about waging war on the Johians just to get supplies, are you?"

"We have to have fuel. We have to have supplies. We need to set the ship down to fix the leak because we can't get those doors to open as long as there's vacuum on the other side. And there's nothing to eat on this ship!" she finished more emotionally.

"We have lots of food cubes left."

"I can't eat those. They smell bad. They taste bad."

"But..you like food cubes. I've never seen you fuss about food before-" Talyn looked around and remembered that Broc was in the engine room- "I guess I haven't seen you eat them lately."

"I'm sorry." Meara sounded like she was in real distress. "They taste like they're spoiled."

"They don't spoil." Meara gave him a mutinous look. "But if you can't eat them, you can't eat them." They both quit talking as Broc came into the room.

Meara slumped down in the pilot's chair. "This is all Marik's fault. I wish I could send him in first, like cannon fodder. Just let them have him." A vision of Marik being pounded by many large flat feet filled her head. She sat up straighter. "Why not?"

She looked over at Talyn. "I know we Peacekeepers don't pay any attention to other people's laws but if we'd done this in the first place then Risa would still be alive. It might appease the Johians, and it would solve the problem of having to deal with him all the way back."

"You want to throw him to our lagamorphic friends?" Talyn mused.

"Can I really do that? He is.. a crew member. What he did to Risa was an accident."

Broc thought briefly about telling Meara about Marik's attempt to turn him against Meara, but he was worried that it might actually make her have second thoughts about getting rid of him if she thought she was doing it for selfish reasons.

"I need to make sure I'm doing this for the right reasons," she said, echoing his thought.

"You could have shot him for cowardice and you didn't. You could have executed him on the spot for disobeying a direct order and been perfectly justified."

"What he did to Risa was an accident but what he did to the innkeeper wasn't," Talyn added.

"It's worth a try."

Meara took Marik to the Johians alone. The men assumed that she didn't trust them not to get fed up and just shoot him, but she was really afraid of what he might say in Broc's presence. His whimpering and begging made her feel pity and a good deal of nausea. She felt like she was weeding out a mental deficient and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. On the other hand, she knew that Marik could have made other choices.

The Johian official that handled the transaction seemed very pleased with the huge overpayment Meara made in reparation for what they had taken. He offered to handle the purchase for the supplies they needed. Meara asked, "Do you have any of those little blue berries ? Are they still..um, in season? I don't know what they're called but they're a very dark blue and I really liked them."

The small Johian beamed at her from his furry brown face. "Yes, I know what you're talking about, And they'll be very good for your baby, too."

Meara snorted and shrugged her shoulders helplessly. It was obvious that Peacekeepers must be blinder than most of the universe. She couldn't step outside her ship without having a secret revealed. "What makes you think I'm having a baby?"

The little man was still beaming. "My mate craved those berries with every litter she had. They're good for the litter. I'm sure they'll be good for yours, too."

Meara laughed helplessly. "I certainly hope I'm not having a litter. Just don't tell anyone, okay? I haven't, um .. told the father yet."

He smiled and winked at her conspiratorially.

When she got back to the ship Talyn suggested that she send Broc out to supervise the gathering of supplies.

"Why? Don't you want to get off the ship? I would really like to. Maybe we could find somewhere like we did on the planet of the gathering place."

"I want to take a look at the baby." he said quietly.

Meara thought this was a great idea. It would be something to take her mind off Risa and handing Marik over to the Johians. "That would be nice. What do you think they'll do to Marik? I warned them he was dangerous, but they don't seem to be very aggressive. They're vegetarians, you know."

"He's under restraint. And besides, they do have nasty sharp teeth," Talyn said, and surprised her by crooking his front fingers into an imitation of the Johians overbite.

She smiled and said, "So maybe they'll gnaw him to death..well, that makes me feel better."