The Pain of Love Unspoken Pt. 2
by Sun Goddess
irishdawn22@hotmail.com
Aeryn made her way blindly through the thick trees of the forest, stumbling occasionally as her leg gave out beneath her. The bandages were now soaked through with blood, a trail of red glistening down her leg. She fought back the tears, which threatened to spill down her beautiful face. Features etched with pain and infinite sadness, she continued on, trying desperately not to think of the reason for her pain: John Crichton – human.
“I don’t need him,” she whispered as she stumbled yet again, tears clouding her vision.
Soon enough she realised that she did indeed need him as she found herself mid-way down a valley, tumbling as she rolled her way down to the bottom of the valley she had so carelessly fallen from.
*********
John had time to sit down and think about his actions once Aeryn had left him. Fury didn’t even begin to describe what he felt. Not fury directed at Aeryn, but at himself for losing his temper. To think about the pain he had caused her brought tears to his eyes.
“I’d never hurt you on purpose Aeryn, I can’t fathom what possessed me to do what I did. I’m so sorry Aeryn. Please forgive me.”
Although Aeryn was not there to hear his apology, John felt comfort in the fact that he had voiced his regret.
If only I knew where she was, he thought, then I could find her and apologise in person.
Releasing an audible sigh, Crichton stood and stretched his cramped muscles. Even though the light was quickly fading he began to search for his beloved shipmate. Praying to any known deity for Aeryn’s safety, he made his way through the forest in the direction Aeryn had headed earlier.
*********
He found her several arns later, curled into a foetal position. Shaking violently, she lifted her head to look at him. Gently reaching out his hand to touch her trembling shoulder, Crichton tried his best to comfort her. Flinching instantly from his touch, he retracted his hand.
“Aeryn it’s ok, I’m here,” he soothed.
She scrambled further away from him. It was only then that Crichton noticed the extent of her injuries. He mentally catalogued each one in turn. Dried blood coated her leg, leaving the bandages stiff against her skin. She had bruises over her arms and a nasty cut on her forehead from where she’d hit against a rock during the fall. Not to mention the fact that he had carelessly lost his temper with her. That being the most painful wound of all, running far deeper than any cut or scratch.
Crichton carefully reached out his hand a second time.
“Aeryn I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Don’t touch me Crichton,” she whispered, but with no less harshness than if spoken.
“Please Aeryn, just listen to me. I know you’re angry and I fully understand that, but we have to at least reach an agreement if we’re ever going to get off this planet.”
He watched her face for a few microts before continuing.
“If you’ll just let me help you back to camp we can get some rest and then we’ll be able to fly back to Moya at first light. Is that alright with you?”
“The prowler has to be fixed before we can go anywhere Crichton,” she said painfully through clenched teeth. Crichton looked her over once more.
“I finished the instalments earlier. It helped me clear my head actually. So all we have to do is get back to camp, get you cleaned up, make sure we have a good night’s sleep and before you know it, we’ll be back aboard Moya.”
Where you can go back to ignoring me, he added silently.
Aeryn pushed herself up off the ground, ignoring the refusal from the muscles in her leg. Crichton was quickly by her side, offering his assistance as she rose to her feet. Together again, they headed back to their camp in silence, each secretly wondering what the future would hold.
*********
Once they reached camp Crichton had quickly and efficiently tended to Aeryn’s wounds. She now lay fast asleep on her sleeping component next to him. He had not yet been able to sleep, his mind swimming with thoughts of the lasting effects of his betrayal.
Will she be able to forgive me? Have I blown things for good this time? Will this be a final act, the last ounce of her patience drained on the deficient human?
Forcing himself to think positively instead of dwelling on the negative, Crichton lay down next to the sleeping Aeryn and tried his best to forget the events of the day.
*********
Crichton stood nervously outside Aeryn’s quarters. They had now been back aboard Moya for several arns. Zhaan had tended to Aeryn’s wounds and insisted that she go directly to her quarters and rest. Not having the energy to disagree, she did as she was told. Crichton had decided it was best to see her as soon as possible, not wanting her to assume he didn’t care about her feelings.
Taking a deep breath, he palmed the door open. He could just make out Aeryn’s form on the far side of the room, sitting on the edge of her bed. He walked cautiously to take a seat beside her. She did not acknowledge his presence, but simply continued to stare into space.
“Aeryn I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now, but I need to explain to you why I did what I did,” he began shakily.
Still she made no move to acknowledge him.
“You know that you’re the last person I’d ever want to hurt. And what I did was an extraordinary betrayal of your trust. But you have to understand that I wouldn’t have done it on purpose. I’ve been through so much this past cycle and I have so much unreleased tension that at some point I’m bound to just snap. And I can’t express to you how sorry I am that it had to be you that the tension was directed at, but I want you to know that I’ll do whatever it takes to remedy the situation. Aeryn, what can I do to help?” He took a chance and put his hand on top of hers, squeezing lightly. Drawing in a shaky breath, she began to speak.
“Yes I am hurt by your actions Crichton, but that I can work through. What scares me and confuses me is the fact that your actions caused such a strong reaction in me. I was a soldier, trained to shut out any sort of emotion. But since I’ve been aboard Moya I’ve found that expressing my emotions can help. You’ve been so patient with me and for that I’m eternally grateful, but you have to understand that I’m still learning what it is to feel. You’ve had such a strong impact on my life John Crichton and you’ve changed me for the better. But it scares me to find that I can care about someone as much as I care about you.”
She hung her head, embarrassed at the extent of her ravings. A gentle finger found her chin and lifted her head to make eye contact. She was surprised to see Crichton’s eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
“You’ve come a long way Aeryn Sun; and you’ve become so much more.”
He smiled widely and was rewarded by a slight twitching of her lips.
Better than nothing, he thought. At least we’re communicating better now.
He glanced down at her leg and found the bandages had begun to unravel themselves. He stood and crossed the room, retrieving fresh bandages. He squatted at Aeryn’s feet and smiled up at her.
“Looks like you could use some new bandages,” he stated.
She nodded slightly and watched as Crichton delicately removed the old pieces of cloth and replaced them with the new. Once finished, he stayed positioned at her feet, watching her intently. She wore the boxers that she had stolen from him so long ago, and Crichton noticed that even though she had been through so much, she still looked incredibly beautiful to him.
Without saying a word, he shifted his hand slightly up her leg from where it was placed on her thigh. Her face showed no sign of fear as she nodded her consent, bringing her arms to wrap around John’s neck. His hands moved underneath the thin fabric of her shirt, removing it in one swift motion as he stood and lowered her to the bunk. Settling himself on top of her, he bent down to kiss her passionately. Her hands roamed the expanse of sculptured muscle of his back, slowly making their way to the waistband of his trousers. Reaching to undo the buckle and draw them down his strong legs, Crichton let out a small moan.
“You have definitely become more Aeryn,” he whispered before all coherent thought was lost and all that was left to follow was instinct.
The End.