American Idol sucks.

Yea, I already know this topic has been used so much, if feels like some girl that has been used, or something like that. I just don't like how little ten year old kids with web sites are saying "Hey, maybe we should call it American IDIOT! LOL!!!11" Yea, very witty and clever kid, now you can be on such comedy shows as "Whose line is it anyway?" Actually, if you have a shitty sense of humor, and you aren't funny at all, you're perfect for it. I'm going to try to get on that show.      I saw this show for the first time just the other day, when a friend (no longer my friend, but just another dumb bitch who I hate) told me to watch it and that it was funny. Damnest thing, I didn't laugh once. I felt like my eyes and ears were going to explode, melt, catch on fire, and have terrible sex, all at the same time this show was so bad.My first problem with this is it is a poor excuse for a T.V. program. Hey lets find some kids and make them famous singers. Sorry, but Kelly, Ruben, and Clay, your not really famous. You will always be remembered as: The people that got famous because T.V. was helping them, and Fox was retarded enough to make a dumbass show. You aren't like real singers that get famous the hard way. No, you have to get help from millions of viewers, and you sing songs that are already made by someone else. Yea, some idol you are, you unoriginal knock-off loser that copies other people.      Another part that is shitty is the judges. Since when did three stupid people, with no talent themselves, decide what good music is and what bad music is. If I were them, I would tell everyone no because they all sucked, but somehow, these jackasses are impressed with the simplest things. Let's do an analysis of the judges;

This guy actually might just have something. When he hears some shitty music, he speaks his mind and tells the singer how "dreadful" they are. The problem is, sometimes he throws a curve ball, and hears some shitty music and is like "fantastic!" The real thing that brings him down though is he has an annoying British accent. I used to think accents were cool, especially Australian accents. Then I heard Steve Irwin. I was happy to get a seizure because of his voice, and I only had to hear a few seconds of his crazy Nazi language. Conclusion: Simon is a mean Nazi.

Is anyone else thinking chimpanzee right now? Holy shit she has a monkey face, no wonder I was thinking that. And that hair isn't helping her image either. This is the "nice" judge, always polite, never "beating" a shitty singer down too hard. What a fucking pussy, and it is a good thing she is a pussy, because she sure as hell doesn't have one. I don't think monkeys have titties either, which would explain her other problem. Conclusion: Paula has had sex with over fifty monkeys.

All I am thinking now is "Damn, I'm lucky that I am not this guy." He is under so much pressure. People say "Don't lose weight, I like the big Randy!" and other nonsense, that he just can't go on a subway diet. Yea Randy, don't lose weight if you want to develop Diabetes 2 and possibly get a limb amputated (hopefully more than one limb so he will lose more weight). Seriously though, look how he is holding his hands out in critical condition. Obviously in dire need of food. You just watch and some fan is going to toss a Big Mac to him. Just keep your eye on the picture. Conclusion: Randy has seven balls.

I have said it once before and I will say it again; American Idol sucks. I have said it twice before and I will say it again; American Idol sucks. What a poor excuse to get some crappy singers famous. I created a better T.V. show five minutes ago that is way better than American Idol. Take a bunch of shitty singers, put them on an island, and have them live for 30 days, starting out as two different "tribes" then merging in the middle of the game. While you have to survive, you are also doing challenges, and voting out other members of your tribe. Wait, that is Survivor. Let me correct myself, my idea is worse than American Idol. 000,000,051 people are still waiting for Randy's Big Mac (probably so they can steal it and be fat just like him).(Not if I steal it first!)(Ass)Shit(fucker I hate everything). Back to how much I suck... © 2003 by Fastman