Final Destination: City of London, 216.3 miles from home by quickest road route.
Duration of Journey: 13th- 14th July 2005
Notes: Mishketeers joined by Kurt Riley, the first person outside the original trio to show sufficiant initiatve and potential to have the honour of "mishketeer" bestowed upon him, and this will happen upon completion of his first mish. Fee is a major doubt for the mish.
Proposed Transport: The London mish is not just a fat mish, in fact if the mish was to be examined by a medical professional he would declare it "clinically obese." This is because we have resisted the overwhelming temptation to "fag out" and get the National Express both ways, and have instead chose, as a final act of defiance against the whistleblower from Xmas, to travel by public bus (and 1 train). This is ELEVEN buses, at a cost of around £30 per person, and our budget will be stretched thinner than an anorexic, so more comical tales of food- and sleep-deprivation are inevitable when we return from our travels. A full list of public buses is available here. We travel home (having not slept) on the 15:00 coach from London Victoria Station to Liverpool City Centre, returning to L'pool at 20:30 on Thursday, We leave at 08:00 hours Wednesday, making this mish a whopping 36 sleep and food free hours. Now that IS fat.
Aims: Get photos of outside the following landmarks and national heritage sites:
Big Ben,
London Eye,
Buckingham Palace,
Houses Of Parliament
Also, we must film the mishketeers irritating a beefeater outside Buckingham Palace/ Tower Of London and show Rob breaking into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner (Listen to The Queen Is Dead, you ignorant fools).
I would like to add on behalf of all the other mishketeers how pleasing it will be to finally complete this mish following the horrific act of sabotage suffered in December. It will make the completion of this mish all the more sweet to think of our sabateur sitting at home plotting our further downfall as we show once again that Mishketeers really are the best people in the whole wide world, baby.
Love and kisses,
Rob, Jon and Kurt.
Final Destination: City of London, 216.3 miles from home by quickest road route.
Duration of Journey: 13th- 14th July 2005
Usually, when summarising a mish, one would work from the beginning of the mish, what went wrong, what went right and so forth. However, this mish was so unbelievably well planned (mixed with a reasonable amount of luck) by Skinner and Ball and so expertly and enthusiastically carried out by the increasingly brilliant mishketeers and newboy Kurt Riley, on his first mish and first visit to London, that absolutly everything went to plan.
As on the Nottingham mish, the mishketeers reached Shrewsbury without a hitch, literally stepping off a bus and onto the next one virtually everywhere.
Last time, a problem occured on the Shrewsbury- Telford leg as the mishketeers had fallen way behind schedule and missed the final 5pm bus. Not this time, as the mishketers arrived at 13:45 and got the 14:00 bus.
Upon reaching Telford, the mishketeers waited 40 mins for the next bus, and were able to look around Telford (see "Apology").
Again, the mishketeers cruised through Wolverhampton to Birmingham and straight through to Stratford, on the Stratford Blue. Up until this point, the mishketeers had barely had time to think but had budgetted excellently.
In Stratford, the mishketeers arrived at 19:00 and had three hours to kill until their train to Oxford. So the mishketeers had tea, saw some Buddhist monks who Kurt and Rob went to great lengths to photograph in full attire and various Shakespeare sites, while also tree climbing in the park and Rob and Johnny scaled part of the look overlooking the canal, resulting in some cool pictures.
The train to Oxford was COMPLETLY empty and so much of the journey was spent in the luggage racks and racing up and down the carriage- as well as "burley" knowing where we were (hehehe).
We nearly missed our connection from Banbury- Oxford but quick thinking from JB prevented that and, at 00:30 and after 15 hours, the mish was still running perfectly.
A brief tour of Oxford Uni and after seeing "Bravismio" shop (North to South... Empty... Running On... Bravisimo) we got our final bus, the night bus to LONDON!!!!!
We amused ourselves with Suduku puzzles and so NME magazine and then arrived, at 03:00. We visited Buckingham Palace (Booooo) and were literally the only people on Pall Mall. We sat on the lions in Trafalgar Square, and then, the highlight of the trip, went to the Jubilee Bridge and watched the sun come up behind the Houses of parliament (how queer) at around 05:00.
With the sightseeing tour over and suitable photos taken, the mishketeers boarded the 08:00 coach home, and after a bloody long and uncomfortable journey home, arrived back around 14:00, 30 hours after we left.
This has been the fattest, furthest, most idiotic and most fun mish ever, perfectly executed and one of the best days/ nights ever. Next, a mish further south is promised, before Dublin and then maybe France.
As we lied a lot more sensibly and were a lot more careful not to make a mistake, we were not caught and so the mish can be declared an unparalled success, and one of the greatest human achievements of all time. Pictures soon.
After a brief visit during the Nottingham mish, we declared Telford to be a "shithole" and nicknamed it "Chav Central".
However, having spent time there during the London mish, we realised that the Shopping Cnetre is nice enough and there were many more fit girls than chavs.
The people of Telford will of course be delighted by this after there was rioting in the city as the people were so disappointed that their mishkateer heroes did not like their city.
Banners urging the mishketeers to be allowed to control the city and make it "as brilliant as their mishing" have been torn down and the city council have breathed a huge sigh of relief.