Q: Is Fat camp always about love ?

M: Love, Sex and Intelligence... what else is there in life? oh yeah porn, sweeeeeeet hardcore porn!

S: Yah, that's the catch-phrase they used to get me to join.  But really, what's wrong with love?

J: I think it was once about handball and road hockey but I can't remember.

C: Fat Camp ain't always about love. Sometimes its about egg raids, molotovs and street harassment. If it weren't for Fat Camps anarchy streaks the world as we know it would fall into chaos and bring about the second cumming. Yes we have all beat off twice in one day.

Q: How come it's called Fat Camp when Carl is the only one who is over weight?

S: When I first met him, I thought he had it all, the girls, the charm, every G.I. Joe ever made, great snacks provided by his mom.  Then when the guys came to sleep over, C removed his tee to produce a round belly (probably full of cheer), boobies and skin smoother than a baby's ass.  I guess it kind of matched those jolly rosy cheeks but still, it was a little disappointing and made him a little more mortal.

J: Fat Camp is not just about weight. It's more about finding the goodness inside of yourself. It's more about learning to fuck chicks and break shit. But also its about reaching for that impossible dream!

M: Fat can have a variety of different meanings. For instance "Man Stew's mom is fat" or "Man Stew's mom digs phat farm" but in this case Fat means peace, love, sex, intelligence, kindness, sharing, sexual inhibitions and most of all if you haven't noticed Carls really fat. It works on so many levels.

C: My weight is none of your business. I would appreciate you keeping my snacking problem to yourself.

Q: Whatever happened to skinny camp?

J: Skinny camp was weak. They were crushed by the Fat camp crew. They didn't keep their eyes on the prize. They were seduced by God and all his temptations.

M: I think those boys are missionaires now. Never underestimate the power of the lord.

S: This matter is completely foreign to me, therefore I must refrain from comment.

Q: Is Matt single? How about Jody?

M: Matt has recently taken to the single scene again. No more long term commitment for this member. All his past girls are now freaky freakazoids. Especially that religious chick. What a dyke. I'm better than Jesus for christ sakes.

J: Yes. Yes I am

S: Right now I have no info about Matt or Jody's love life except that they both are occupied with people of the female species.  This boy has to be concentratin' on gettin' himself a pair of jumblies.

Q: Will Fat Camp members ever grow up and out of Fat Camp?

J: The truth is that Jody, Matt and Stu think it's a joke. But our buddy C never shuts up about it and it's all he has left. We'd like to tell him to grow up but his fat little heart probably couldn't take it so we live the lie for his sake.:

M: If you could only see the smile of Carl's face everytime we get together and talk, like friends do, it would be hard to leave behind the pleasure and joy he feels inside. Plus it installs direction in all of us.

S: I'm sure we'll grow out of it but I hope we will never forget the great value system it has installed in all of us:

C: The crew will never grow out of Fat Camp because there is no Fat Camp without the zanie anticks of its members.

Q: Does Jody go to sleep everynight thinking of some new way to surprise the shit out of his buddies? ex. naked alien wang hopper

C: The man has a talent and the body to get it done. Its like Christmas all the time when he's around.

J: Jody doesn't control the wang, the wang controls him. He tries every day ( sometimes twice) to control but it ends up spitting at him. Sooner or later Jody will learn to live in unison with it but until then, WATCH YOUR BACK!!!!!

S: Sometimes when the guys get together I pray to god that that wang don't be headin' my way.  I'm sure I could just plainly ask Jode not to attack but hey, what would be the fun of that!

M: Despite my avid displeasure in Jodes spontaneous creations, deep down inside I never want it to end.

Q: Where is the official Fat Camp headquarters?

S:  Its in your dreams. C: Its south of every ladies border. J: It's wherever a dove cries and a new hope is born M: It's where theres future, hope, hapiness and lots of porn

Q: Is Stew even your guys friend?

M: Despite never being in the know and always pissing the boys off, Stew still has a place in all of our hearts. It's hard to not to love a guy who has overcome so much and gained so little. And just for the record I like Stew more than I like Carl.

J: Just because the guy get's a good natured ribbing from his boy's doesn't mean he isn't their friends. You always hurt the ones you love. At least that's what the wife abusers say.

C: He's at the butt of every joke and barb, yet provides Fat Camp with a service that will make him a friend in their hearts forever. Namely he gets them drugs, such sweet drugs.

S:  Ya, I'll admit that I do tend to take the load in the zing department, for example, sometimes when the guys get rowdy and start wrestling, I get the odd brass knuckle or chain.  Whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.......right?

Q: Is Fat Matt really mexican?

M: Is Carl Fat? Is Stew's brother the coolest guy around? Do Fat Camp members have nightmares about Jody kang?  Has scruffs ever pretended to be drunk?

C:Matt is a person, race, religion, sexual orentation.. is that really any of our business? I don't think so.

J: You wouldn't be asking that question if you had seen that tear fall from his eye when The Mexican Gymnast, Juan Guadalupe pulled off a triple back, two and a quarter half flip with a torn achilles heel. That's pure Mexican pride. Plus Latinos are really hot right now and we've always wanted to meet Mark Anthony.

S:  I'm not racist but I am going to have to base my judgements of Matts ethnicity purely on color of skin.  I mean, he's at least 7.4 shades darker than the rest of us, so he's either goin' to fake 'n bake behind our backs or the rest of us are just freaks with that freaky skin lightening disease that the freaky guy had that made him look like a freak, so......."The freaks come out at night, The freaks come out at NIIIIGHT!!!!!, HUP HUP HUP!!!!!!

Q: You guys are all "tuf" muthas, but who's toughest?

M: My choice would have to be Stu. Nobody's tougher than a guy who lives in the shadow of us all.

J: My choice would be me. You guys couldn't begin to understand the pain I feel when I go out night after night and take off my clothes for you and all I get in return  is a few measly coins and a note on my dresser the next morning saying, " It was great but don't call me I'll call you. Love Matt." That's pain.

S: I would say Matt because he has endured so much trying to please all the ladies.

C: I have to agree with Matt, Stew is definitley the toughest. What can you say about a guy with the balls not to sell out to the man and never hold down a steady job.

Q: Why is Jody obsessed with Asian chicks?

C: I think it has to do with family issues. He's always been sheltered from different ways of life, Jack thinks that other cultures are weird and Hitler had the right idea. I'm not saying that he hates minorities, in fact he loves them. One of Fat Camps founding members is himself a minority. I think that since he hasn't been able to spend a lot of time around minorities (especially asians), he has a drive to get to know them better. He wants to take an asians flower and is currently dating a Russian (he claims that he is part Russian but I find this hard to beleive). So infact Jody's not really obsessed with asians, he's just overly curious of them.

M: To some aspect I agree with Carl. Being the only minority is tough and I feel that Jody has seen my constant struggle to be equal to the rest of the fatcamp members. He knows that each person has unique qualities that make them special. Even minorities. P.S. I hate handicaps

S: Obsession is such a serious word, I would like to think that he is an international man and isn't scared by the hatemongers of interacial couples.I say to Jode, " If the shit sticks, work with it".

J: I think there is a certian amount of clarification needed. Starters I'm not obsessed with all asian chick just the Japanese and to some extent, Chinese. Secondly not all of the pacific rim honeys are O.K. just the ones who are either wearing nurse uniform or schoolgirl outfits and even then just the ones wearing white panties. So as you can see It's quite a normal obsession which rarely leads to rape.

Q: How come there are barely any pictures of the hottest member... MATT?

M: There are some seasons when Fat Camp members seem to split there weekends between what means most to them and having uninhibited fun. Winter is just that season for Matt. Unfortunately it's winter 6 months of the year so many of the new pictures do not include the rebuffed stallion. I also like to believe that I'm better then them and the during Winter is no exception.

C: Because he is not the hottest or the most liked. The boys don't take pictures of him because we don't want this to turn into a mexican-gay porn site.

J: Carl and Matt are both right. We rarely see Matt in winter, and winter covers half of the year (simple physics). Also the last thing Matt needs is more pictures of himself.

Q: How can Jody make out with so many chicks!?!

J: Believe me many women have asked themselves that same question the morning after. Well the truth is I know the secrets that years of SLP training has to offer and no lady in their right mind would want to miss out on that. Also I have a gigantic cock.

C: Its been a source of public outcry for many years. People have become so superficial that they can't see past his pasty skin, acne problem and shadow back, but if they look inside they will find something to be really upset about. Not only is Jody in High School again to upgrade marks but he isn't even going to write the final which defeats the whole point of going back. Also he works only three shifts a week and doesn't intend to work more after he finishes school. So maybe its not, 'how does Jody get chicks' but more of, 'how does he live with himself'. Maybe chicks like the idea of having to take care of someone for the rest of their lives or maybe he's just a sexual predator. In my opinion, the man's got one massive KANG, thats how he does it.

M: If you were a member of Scoundralous Lady Pleasures club then you too could understand the inner workings of Jody's sexual appeal. It's not about the looks it's about the feelings and respect he shows for the ladies. I heard he slammed a chick up against the wall once though, very cool! He also has a majestic kang.

S: Exactly, look at the guy and you see an innocent face much similar to that of a dove.  This first impression on the ladies is somewhat like a hypnotic plan that is easily looked past by the female gender.  Many times have several members in Fatcamp talked in amazement at how Jody attracts 'em.  There are rumours circulating that he is "like Muhammed Ali in bed" and "more sensitive than a flower". Also, it's said he has a frontier kang.

Q; Why does Stew puke at every party?

C: At first I thought he was just playing cute, now I believe its more of a habit. None of us have ever really seen him drink a lot but he always seems to be puking, its a testament to his manhood I guess. One things for sure, chicks dig it. Not just the smell or the fact that you are in the crapper all night, but they think it is so sweet when a guy asks them to prom when he's half drunk. All I can give you is a little insight into the workings of Stew, I can't tell you his true motives.

M: If you have seen what puking has gotten Stew, then he'd be stupid to stop. A hot grad date, firm abs, sympathy of many gorgeous girls, endless hours of staring at a toilet bowl and most important, the utmost respect from his buddies.

S: there are some things in peoples lives that just don't seem to fit, for example: fat chicks just don't get along with spandex,  indians don't mix with cowboys, stripping isn't meant for hermaphrodites, the word hot don't go with Rita Macneill and alcohol just doesn't seem to get along with Stew's stomach.

J: Because he knows what it takes to get laid. And my friends puking gets you laid.

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