September '85- Jody meets Carl for first time.
-also the date of Jody's first boner.
July'91- Carl moves to Ottawa
-a dove cries
September '93- Friendship Camp-Jody and Carl are re-united
-Stew somehow finds his way into the groups tent at friendship camp and weasels his way into their hearts and sleeping bags.
Sept. to June '97- Fat Camp is formed
-although Brian C. is an original member his quick wrists soon prove too much for even the Conundrum. It doesn't help that he slept with every member.
-Scruffs likes the idea at first but time will only tell before he spread his wings
-Colin is hesitant to join but later realizes that without these boys who else is there... Dave Quinn?
-Matt doesn't fully understand what he's getting into. He thinks the boys are just really polite and close.
July '97- Carl leaves for Cochrane
-the group manages to also kick out Colin and Scruffs leaves voluntarily.
-Matt and Jody decide arbitrarily t5 become close friends.
October '97- Jody's first tit grab.
-Megan somewhat peeved
November '98- Jody throws first mixer.
-Carl's first ever party
-Stew meets Suzanne for the first time
-Matt and Jode tag-team K.K.
-Jody gets first feel of the inside of a vagina
-Scruffs gets hand-job or in laymens terms he has a conversation
December '98- 3 Mouseketeer Annual Boardoff
- Boys head to Carl's for a much needed retreat
- Grabzilla was crowned. Jody jubulantly accepts
- Sammy sandwiches a flavour packed four star lunch and a half
February '99- Grad Ski Trip
-Stew wins Big Air Comp. '99, to celebrate he smokes up in the bathroom by himself
-Carl once again fails to land any jump whatsoever but manages to whine as much as possible about Jody stealing his pillow.
-Jody thouroughly impresses all the ladies on the trip with his projectile vomiting the ladies are also impressed with the water colour he managed to make on his T-shirt.
Early May '99- Jody throws second mixer
-Carl's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th alcohal induced vomits
-Stew steals Jody's food and deserves every punch he gets from Jody
-Matt falls asleep at home while having sex with his sister
-Jody smacks Carl for no reason and still hasn't heard the end of it
-Adam bows to peer/beer pressure and is later hospitalized
May long '99- Carl has guests
-Carl gets freaked out over a little wang in his face
-Stew buys some bogus shrooms and then pukes over Carl's deck, in two different toilets, in his sink and outside on the ground. Suzanne is impressed and agrees to go to grad with him. He pukes on her on grad night to seal the deal.
- Matt sleeps with Sherry and avoids border patrol, nothing new.
-Jody screams at kids and crew tosses eggs at them. We make them cry and we realize how tough and mature we are. Team makes plans to rape women and children in Kosovo, because we are tough.
-Declared at the time to be the Best Fatcamp Getaway to date.
Summer '99- Fuck sessions galore
-Carl gets earring. Carl also hits the U of C campus and makes his first new friend in 4 years. No one has yet to confirm their existence.
-Stew gets job working for the man. It's less a job than it is a scam but Stew still managed to keep it for a month so its a small victory. Stew pukes a record amount over this summer but still thinks he can do better. " I puked alot but I still have a long way to go before I puke in front of every girl I know". Gang prays to god that they can find him a new stomach lining before it's to late. Stew also had his mom pull some strings and land an Ecuadorian first class babe, that now shares his shower (as well as his bed).
- Matt makes out with tons of chicks and takes off shirt almost as much as Jody. Matt enrolls in U of A campus and becomes only the second Fat Camp member to attend University (Carl weaseled his way in 2 hours before). Matt also records many "Firsts" in Fat Camp history. These "firsts" will be in the mail, along with your Fat Camp membership, if you so choose to join this exclusive club.
-Jody gets crappy blow-job and makes out with two drunk chicks. Gets a lap dance from a greased up prostitute for his birthday. Club goers are not amused.
New Years '99- Hi-ooooh!!!
-Carl hosts the gang and some extras for the most rockin millenium bash since "the Great Whoar Off" held in 999. Carl also scrapes himself out of some serious cock-outs
-Stew disappoints the entire audiance by not puking for any of the four nights. Bryan B. tries his best to cover for Stew but just burns himself out, literally.
-J.B. declares the getaway as the second best fatcamp holiday ever. Could have been first but Matt was missing. Details of why the excursion was so much fun for J.B. are restricted for Fat Camp ears only due to it's pornographic nature. Also Bob would kill him.
-Matt held down the fort in Florida, joined by Bernard Shaw and the entire CNN crew.
Fernie Trip '00- Weed and the need for Speed
-Jode and new found pelt pal, Simon, do their best to get some boob action. Jode wins the prize but isn't drunk enough to claim it.
-Carl gets bossed around and chauffers Jode up and down B.C. and Alberta. Also makes fatal mistake of letting Jode meet his girlfriends.
-Stew massages a weird looking chick and displays his new, toned body in the pool. He also twists his ankle which puts him out of commision for at least 5-10 months.
May Long '00- Stew sells out big time
-The other three Fat Campers head down to Carls for a pleasent weekend of doing nothing in particular...Jode wakes up in a cold sweat worrying about how he's wasting his life away...He wakes up Carl to yell at him and then resumes sleep.
-Matt believes Free Court is the best game ever invented, for one reason...baskets aren't rewarded.
-Carl and Shawna manage to keep their hands off each other...for now.
Banff Trip '00- Introduction to Holly and her Horse
-All four members make second ever appearance in Banff National Park.
-Agree to allow Shawna to participate ....mistake??
-Stew gets only action, or so we'd like some outsiders to think.
-Matt yells lots and bonds with Carl for first time... mistake??
-Jode sleeps lots and finds out that he can' stop matt and carl's progress
Jode's Move to Jasper '00- Matt and Carl get closer
-Three Fat Campers trek down to Jasper only to leave behind the glue that bonds them together... Jody
-Jode tells Carl he's the second person to walk through the door after Matt.
-Carl shows he can get mean when he's nervous
-Jodes roomate dry fucks his girl while Matt, Carl and Jode are obliviously sitting talking in the next bed
-Stew continues to make out with 30 year old chicks
Banff Trip #2 '00- Matt sleeps, Stew weeps
-Three Fat Campers find their way down to Banff and install in their hearts the love towards Jody
- Phrases overheard on the way down: "Stuff the balloons in Tubbys' face" "I'm gonna fuck so many chicks" "Backstreet's Back" "Man it was only like 15mins to get here" "Shut up Shawna" "Drip those D's"
-Day 1Stew & Carl go snowbaording, Matt, Holly, Shawna go shopping. Matt buys nothing but haste.
-Day 2- Stew, Carl, Shawna, Holly go snowboarding. Matt sits at home playing Holiday trivia.
-Carl hurts head, back, legs and friendships with the girls.
-Matt inadvertently calls Holly a "Sweet Pooch" and "Holly Border Collier" in his drunken state.
-Holly and Stew got close but the sniffles from Holly proved too much in the conventionalized engagement of a good-night kiss.
New Years '01- Jasper Jeff and his Poterrific Adventures
-All four Fat Campers reunite in the peaceful suburbs of jasper for 4 days of uninhibited fun
-Trip was destined for disaster from the start as Stew ditched Matt + C on the ride down and Jode left to go home within the hour of arrival.
-Matt yet again sleeps the entire time while the boys are at the hill. Jeff occupies early morning with his persistance towards depth charges before he has a hearty breakfast. Matt amused.
-Carl talks the talk but can't walk the walk. Promises Matt full support on the Banff Project but falters with resistance from Stew. Matt not amused.
-Jode arrives back in Jasper and shows the boys he's still the same ol' Jode. He sealed the resurgence of his former identity with such cracks as "How do you say good night in fag". Answer was never produced but it's assumed that anything Carl says is queer talk.
-New Years eve goes down without a hitch. Stew spends the last hour of 2000 persisting Maligne for her email. He eventually accomplishes another Fatcamp First ...a Penpal, good luck. Carl and Matt spend New Years on the couch together playing Tony Hawk.. Tension-odia! Jode spends time with Marie downstairs unaware that she and Matt just kissed.
-Marie kisses Jode... Marie kisses Matt... Marie Kisses Jode.
-Prolonged trip to Banff eventually takes place. Matt sells out!! Sorry Boys.
Summer '01- Is Fat Camp Dead? Read On...
-Matt gets a new job. Exactly the same as his Winners job, except with different, and presumably, less fake tits.
-Jody gets a job. His job duties include trying not to get fired. He's moderatly successful.
-Carl unloads his belly on the faculty, business style. Greasy hair always wins, fags.
-Stu says he might be smoking to much pot... Is the end near? Read on..,
April '02- Tofino on the Mind
-Three fat campers reunite for four days of debauchery and expensive sushi
-Jode ruins Carls upholstry, Stu smokes up
-Carl and Jode crank the gay up a notch with a giggle fest on the surfboards, Stu presumably smokes up
-Jode pisses out of a moving car but pukes due to too much urine in the mouth, Carl not impressed, Stu laughs (having just smoked up)
