Puberty High

There has to be a school Somewhere close Where pre-teens learn The fine arts of parent torture. Puberty High! They teach eye rolling, Gum smacking, That loveable glare that says "I hate you I hate you I hate you" All in a single glance, And of course, The ever popular grunt that is used for an answer, To everything. Classes are offered Such as Moodiness 101, Bedtime Avoidance Techniques, 1001 Cool and Messy Snacks And Fifty Ways to Disrespect Your Elders. Pouting, Allowance Negotiations, And Whining are electives I am sure. Extra credit is given To those who succeed In giving gray hair to their parents. Points are rewarded for each poster on the wall, Each piece of clothing on the floor, And each stereo blaring. Recently, I believe there was a contest to see Which pre-teen could play Nsync's "Bye Bye Bye" The most times in a single week. (That would explain the trophy in my daughter's room.) It would not be so bad Having only one in Puberty High, But having two pre-teen girls Majoring in PMS is a bit much, Even for me. HELP ME SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! July 13, 2000