G: I Started growing at the age of about birth, and the hair started not soon after, but always on my back. after an accident with a pair of pliers and my spine my face was attached to my back and the beauty of george really began.
2.If you want to woo your hot date, you you use the Bear Cha cha cha, or the Beevers (Gay) dance?
G: More often than not the bear cha cha cha is used to get me and my date into the bar or club, and so to prevent bordom setting in i prefer to either move slowly in to a very tight and precise rendition of la macarena or probably a wild and rumbunctious rendition of our beever favourite, the problem is that im usually too warn out after the dance that my date has to put me to bed with a cup of horlics.
3. Why Pumpkins?
G; Why not! Hugh Fearnley - Wittingstall loves them, and they are easier to throw at your friends than say a guava or mango, which can cause some serious fruit releated injurys (just look at those umbongo adds).
4. How much of an influence was Fun House on your modern life?
G: Ohhhh, ooooh! it was the thing that kept my sad days at herne junior school (when joey was ignoring me and hanging out with the cool kids and the dinner ladys) bearable, but i have never had any desire to lick pat sharp, but that said i would lick the beautifal twins coz they look like they were about 40, Yummy mummys!
I now cant pass any death slide or go cart on a spiral starcase with out leaping into the fray and looking to see if the cockadoodledoo prize is in the car. i liked it when the camera would reveal to the audience 'at home' / 'at a home' would show where the cockadoodledoo prize was, with a 'zit-zit-zit--zoo' noise...classic. that noise is played whenever i take my trousers, and when i put my trousers on in the morning there is the sound of beautifal snowflakes falling on pat sharps mullet.
5.How much would you pay for a night with sash?
G: That all depends, the lovely beautifal sash with clean hair and a gentle look in his eye is one of the most beautifal sights ive ever seen and makes me want to give him at least 60 or 70 pence coz he looks like a very young jesus, or moses. when he has his funny red eyes and he is swinging his wonky nose into everyones business then i would want to kick him in the teeth and steal the passion from his body, i wouldnt pay for it then. but i would ask him if i could wear his hat, and if he would let me, id give him some chocolate coins.
6.What is your main aim in life?
G; Id love more than anything for a celebrity to see my wily, then be so impressed by the experience that he would recount the whole story on a famous chat show/shoe like richard and judy or graham norton and then id make a t shirt with a picture of me on saying : A famous celebrity has seen my willy, where as you have a real job and havnt shown your willy to a celebrity. hopefully if enough people see my shirt they would want to show their parts to celebritys, or police men (sash) and there will be a big cult of waggling and i would be really popular and maybe some loose women would want to give up their bodys to me.
7.Beevers, Discuss:
G. podgy monkey, possable missing link. nuff said.
8.Where would you have your ultimate fantasy poo?
G: oh i love you for making this question, coz now ive thaught of it i really want to do it. id really like to have a dalmation that was really beautifal and i would take it to crufts and i would enter the dog as best in show. hopefully i would get to the end round and i would be so excited. i would write to the bbc so the final that i was in would be shown live on blue peter, and when it came to my turn to walk my dog in the circle round the judge and show it off i would put a leash round my neck and give the other end to the dog to put in its mouth and then the dog would walk me in a circle and i would be so excited that i would pull down my trousers and poo in to my pants at the feet of the judge, then i would pull the poo out of my pants and blame it on the dog, and run away.
9.Peel vs Descartes in the ultimate showdown, who do you put your money on?
G; Peel definately, he had been trained in the art of ass whoopin' by whoppe goldberg and he would kick descartes ass while mr rene descartes was still deciding if peel looked round or square from a distance. that said, descartes was in the army for a bit , so he might shoot peel, but if he did that the corn laws wouldnt be repealed and descartes would have to pay loads of money. i think id bet heavily on peel, and if i lost would tear up my booking slip in to hundreds of pieces and throw them into the air, hoping at least one would go in joeys eye.
10. What do you prefer, Daddy or chips?
G; untill chips give me piggy back rides up stairs, its gonna be daddy every time, mother hubbard!