R.I.P.
Steve Irwin

Yes. It is a sad day. Steve "Fucks up Crocodiles" Irwin was killed by a stingray. He was awesome. He was one badass motherfucker. You would not want to fuck with him. I never thought I would have to cry in a manly way more than once a year. Apparently, I was wrong.

Of course, the news is sad, but I'm sure it was no accident he was killed.

Now, when I tell you this, don't panic. Stay calm and read everything. Don't start running around and screaming. Just stay calm.

IT'S A CONSPIRACY AMONGST STINGRAYS SO THEY CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! AND I HAVE PROOF OF HOW EVIL THEY ARE!!! JUST LOOK!!!

AND THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD!!! THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OVER THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO!!! OH FUCK!!! GOD NO!!! FUCK!!!

FUUUUCCK!!!!!!!!!!!

WE DON'T STAND A FUCKING CHANCE AGAINST THEM WITHOUT THE CROCODILE HUNTER!!! WE'RE FUCKED!!! WE'RE FUCKING FUCKED!!! FUCKED!!!!

THEY KILLED THE FUCKING CROCODILE HUNTER!!! MY GOD, IS THAT NOT PROOF ENOUGH WE'RE FUCKED?!?!?

THEY'RE GONNA GO FOR AUSTRALIA!!! THEN ASIA!!! THEN EUROPE AND AFRICA!!! THEN FINALLY, NORTH AMERICA!!! AND IF THEY HAVE TIME, THEY'LL ATTACK SOUTH AMERICA!!! JUST LOOK AT THE MAPS!!!


IT'S SCARY!!!

SO RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! RUN BEFORE THEY TAKE OVER YOUR HOME!!! RUN BEFORE THEY STRIKE!!! BARRICADE YOUR DOORS!!! BOARD UP THE WINDOWS!!! MAKE SURE NOTHING CAN GET IN AND THEN HIDE IN THE CLOSET!!! NEVER COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!!! STAY IN THE CLOSET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEE!!!!!!!

And now, I'm going to cry like a man for the loss of the coolest fucking Australian EVER.










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