Title: 88 Lines About 44 Star Trek Women (filk)
Author: longbeachtrekstar ( longbeachtrekstar@yahoo.com )
Series: All Five
Code: f (44 of 'em, natch)
Rating: R (language and imagery)
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. The song is owned by The Nails or by whatever record company owns them. I'm just writing this for fun, not making any profit, and not trading songs over the internet.
Archiving: FFF, ASCEM, others please ask
Feedback: Abso-tively
Note: Based on The Nails' "88 Lines About 44 Women" (1981).
Written for Round XII of the Femme Fuh-q Fest -- http://www.oocities.org/femme_fuhq_fest/
by longbeachtrekstar
Tasha Yar had a punk-rock hairdo
"Data, you jewel" she loved to riff
Ishara was her younger sister
She could also make him stiff
Beverly is the ship's doctor
Between the sheets she loves to dance
Nurse Ogawa's fiance
Wants to get inside her pants
Seven of Nine, she is a Borg
Skintight catsuit hugs those curves
B'Elanna Torres, engineer
Her Klingon bite can strike a nerve
Uhura has a Swahili name
She is a sultry Nubian prize
Ezri Dax, "cute as a button"
I'd like to dip between her thighs
Hoshi Sato, cunni-linguist
She's a master of her tongue
Lal chose to be a human female
Someone show her how it's done
Kira is an officer
Stationed out on Deep Space Nine
T'Pol is sexy-smart enough
To add up to sixty-nine
Jadzia has some lovely spots
I watch them when we're doggie style
Keiko's on her hands and knees
Under the console doing Miles
Kes, full grown at two years old
Would get me arrested here on Earth
Miramanee, Kirk's young bride
Was killed before she could give birth
T'Pring didn't want to be involved
With a Starfleet officer
Kelinda was a female Kelvin
Kisses stimulated her
Zarabeth is a Kodak girl
The cold air makes her nipples hard
Vash is hot and super sexy
Why'd she wanna fuck Picard?
Number One had dark black hair
Frigid as a cold ice block
Nurse Chapel's hair was golden blonde
And she pined for Mr. Spock
Yeoman Rand was Kirk's wet dream
Loved to shag and have a ball
Captain Janeway was stuck up
She didn't do that shit at all
Uh-uh, not Kathryn
Guinan has a thing for hats
And she has been around a while
Spot is Data's favorite pussy
But kitty porn is not my style
Naomi Wildman is a kid
So we'll behave for just this verse
Here comes a green Orion slave girl
Uh-oh, things are getting worse
Kamala is a metamorph
She can be all that you dream
Magda once belonged to Mudd
One look from her and you would cream
Doctor Brahms designed the ship
Of many things she's capable
The Borg Queen could be lots of fun
Her parts are interchangeable
Lwaxana Troi is quite annoying
The Fifth House and the Chalice of Rixx
Andrea gave Kirk a slap
I'd love to spank her android cheeks
Commander Shelby wants Will's job
And she'll do anything to get it
Vina lived inside The Cage
Her beauty's fake, but don't you sweat it
Seska was an evil one
Cardassian in Bajoran clothes
Pulaski, in her younger days
Could suck a golf ball through a hose
K'Ehleyr really was impressive
Ambassador and Klingon lover
Ro joined the Maquis terrorists
After screwing under the covers
Minuet was a hologram
But to Riker she was heaven
Yeoman Mears, some think she's mousey
But she "did" the Galileo Seven
Doctor Dehner, with the glowing eyes
Was a hot psychologist
Deanna dear, here's a kiss
I chose you to end this list
... 88 lines about 44 Star Trek women
(End)