Title: Cruise Yourself (filk)
Author: longbeachtrekstar ( longbeachtrekstar@yahoo.com )
Series: VOY
Code: J/7/T/Kes/Seska
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Voyager is destined to be a floating orgy if Janeway can't get it home. (Would that really be so bad?)
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. The original song is by a delicious chocolate candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hand. I'm just writing this for fun, not making any profit, and not trading songs over the internet, so please don't pop a cap in my ass.
Archiving: FFF, ASCEM, others please ask.
Feedback: Yes please, here or by email.
Note: Based on Eminem's "Lose Yourself" (2002).
Written for Round XII of the Femme Fuh-q Fest -- http://www.oocities.org/femme_fuhq_fest/
by longbeachtrekstar, August 2003
(spoken)
Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To return your ship safely home in one moment
Would you take it or just let it slip?
(rappin')
Janeway's palms are sweaty, pussy's wet, tits are heavy
There's stains on her uniform already, her funk is heady
Now she's flyin' through space, tryin' to match Seven's pace
She's steerin' the ship with her hands while Seven sits on her face
She licks her twat high and low, Seven says "faster" then "slow"
If she keeps this up much longer her pussy's just gonna blow
Alarms ringin' now, ship surrounded, how?
Then the Kazon take a shot and a torpedo goes pow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Wrapped in depravity, can't think straight but she
Won't give up that easily, no, she comms to Torres "Let's go!"
But B'Elanna's a whore, she's squattin' on the warp core
'Cause she wants one more shot, of hot plasma in her twat
Tom offers her his big cock, then Seska up and yells "Stop!
Let me lick you instead, don't give Tom any head
If you wrap your lips around that dick, I'll just kill you dead"
You better cruise your ship through the slipstream, the wormhole, the subspace
Or else you're never gettin' home
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to fly
If you don't make it home, you'll just have sex 'til you die
B'Elanna's juice is escapin', through her pussy that's gapin'
This bitch is hers for the takin', make her scream
Seska moves toward... her wormhole... her asshole...
Normal sex is borin', but Klingon sex is close to post mortem
Her clit grows harder, her pussy grows hotter
All across the quadrant she's known as the cunt-gobbler
Meanwhile, Kes is in sickbay, but she is ready to play
She tells the E.M.H. "F-U, I'm out to get myself laid"
She goes to engineering, over the railing she's peerin'
She sees Seska who B'Elanna 'tween her legs is steerin'
They're in a hot sixty-nine, which to Kessy looks fine
If she can be next on that pussy then she'll stand in line
Walkin' in on this scene, Captain Janeway goes ga-ga
But the beat goes on, da-da-dum da-dum da-da
You better cruise your ship through the slipstream, the wormhole, the subspace
Or else you're never gettin' home
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to fly
If you don't make it home, you'll just have sex 'til you die
"No more games or I'll change what you call pain"
Said Janeway to them in the brig, the three girls caged
She was horny in the beginnin', but her mood all changed
She's been sucked on and eaten out and screwed all day
But she kept flyin' and tryin' to plot the way home
Best believe she's ready to make someone else moan
She's frustrated inside, amplified by the
Fact that she can't get it on with 7-of-9
It's gettin' real nasty, you can even hear her cryin'
But it's not tv, there's no Jeri Lynn Ryan
Now she is ripe, her nipples are so hard
And they're gettin' even harder
Tryin' to pinch and twist and tease
And please without dishonor
'Cause she's a Captain not a prima donna
She don't want a Borg-Ocampa drama screamin'
She says it's time for all of them to stop reamin'
They can fuck or fly home, but her answer was a hot moan
So take your best phaser shot, Prime Directive or not
Success is her only motherfuckin' option, failure's not
"Girls, I love you, but this spaceship's going home
I will not grow old in the Delta Zone"
So here they go, it's their shot, warp fail them not
'Cause this may be the only opportunity that they got
You better cruise your ship through the slipstream, the wormhole, the subspace
Or else you're never gettin' home
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to fly
If you don't make it home, you'll just have sex 'til you die
(spoken)
You can do anything you set your mind to, be-otch!
(piano plinking...)
(End)