Title: ETERNITY
Author: The Goddess of Despair ( Thegoddessofdespair@yahoo.co.uk. )
Pairing Code: Borg Queen/7, (J/7), (J/T)
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Vague, seasons 4 and 5
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: The Borg Queen tells a story.
by The Goddess of Despair
Eternity, such a small word for a concept that is inconceivable to the humanoid mind. A Word, which is used far to often in their limited vocabulary, a word that they could not even begin to comprehend even if they made the attempt.
Very few beings in the universe truly understand what it means. I am among them. To know eternity is to understand death, life, joy, despair, love, hatred, peace, rage, and all the other mysteries lower beings continue to be baffled by. To know eternity is to know loneliness, even though I am never alone, I am always alone.
Loneliness if deemed irrelevant, and disregarded as such can fester and spread like a deadly virus through its host leaving the body weak and failing. No being is immune from it, and none are invulnerable to its power.
Having come to this dreadful realisation, I resolved to seek out a mate. A mate that was greater than the collective yet was not superior to myself. An advisor, a……friend, yes, someone who would understand the nature of my burden or at least have an idea of it.
I searched. Hundreds of species, billions of individuals and none came close to what I was looking for. Each one was more disappointing than the last. I had almost abandoned the ridiculous idea and was searching for other ways to counteract my inefficiency, until during an uneventful cycle I felt one of my cubes come under attack by species 18. Moments later I felt our connection sever.
Propelled by grief and loss of the separation, I transported myself to another cube, and we set a course towards the besieged cubes last known co-ordinates. It was unconceivable to allow our technology fall into the hands of species 18.
As my children and I came upon the scene we established that species 18 was no longer a threat to us, their fleet of ships was scattered into pieces across the sector. Being far more concerned about my cube, which was in a state of disrepair and floating dead in space. I instructed a number of my children to board the vessel and assess the damage.
Through their eyes I could see that my drones had fallen into chaos. Many of them had digressed back into their small previous states. Screaming, shouting and fighting amongst them selves. Others stood as still as statues, staring into nothingness awaiting commands that would not be forthcoming. The minority struggled to regain order.
I instructed my drones to assist my loyal Borg in regaining order, and re-establish our connection. One of my drones efficiently rushed to the scene of two of my warring children. Looking through my memory files, I immediately was familiar with my battling drones. The smaller in stature of the two, had the upper hand. Hissing and strong in her posture, yet graceful in movement, and almost animalistic in her assault. And that is when I realised I had found what I had been searching for, my mate. She had been under my very nose the whole time.
My drones restored order quickly, and we were whole again. I instructed my soon-to-be-mate to come to me, and it was the beginning.
After restoring some individuality to her, and rewarding my mate with a small portion of my knowledge, I was rewarded in return. For the next ten cycles my mate and I were in a constant state of bliss. Trapped between the ecstasy of the mind and the flesh, the Borg had never been so prosperous. We were ravenous the collective, my mate and I. All that mattered to us was the next species, the next merging of the body and steel; the next unification of our world and another, my lover''s flesh pressed to mine. Nothing could stand in the way of the whirlwind. Perfection was within reach. Nothing could stop us. Or so I believed.
I made a miscalculation. Species 8472 was nothing we had prepared for. Never before had we been so ravaged, so beaten, so decimated. It was my first introduction to terror and uncertainty. We were losing worlds; hundreds of cubes were lost at once. My love was my rock during these times. Never losing hope, coming up with new ideas and tactical plans.
As fortune would have it however, a small federation ship arrived in our space, it''s leader negotiated safe passage in exchange for their assistance in the war against Species 8472. I agreed. We had nothing to lose as far as I was concerned, despite my lover''s protests to the contrary. The ships leader wanted a liaison between our ships, my love volunteered.
Together we prevailed against Species 8472, they were driven back into their own space. I was unwilling to allow so much knowledge of my people into the hands of humans. I instructed my lover to wait for us so we could begin assimilation. She didn''t wait, and she was ripped from me.
I was thrown into chaos. Grief, pain, and rage ravaged my systems. My love was surely dead. Other species, seeing how depleted our forces were after Species 8472 joined together to conduct a full-scale assault against us. It was their undoing, but during that time I was unable to avenge my mate.
Our pursuit of perfection was placed to one side, and for many human days I only craved destruction. Pain for Pain, hurt for hurt. Many worlds fell to us during that time. I could no longer take comfort from my children. Everything seemed futile and irrelevant. There did not appear to be any end in sight.
My assumptions concerning the fate of my lover, turned out to be disproved to my immense joy and relief. After the assimilation of a number of beings in to the hive I discovered that she was now serving as a crewmember aboard the small federation star ship and under the command of the equally small leader Captain Janeway.
It was disconcerting to see, from the beings memories, how much my lover had changed. Her actions seemed different, everything from her expressions to her movements seemed wrong. However I did not give the matter due consideration, I was to caught up in my delight at seeing her again, and I was busying myself with preparations of a rescue plan.
The rescue plan failed. My love had turned into a stranger. She had no idea who I was. Everything she said, all that she did, it was all so foreign to me. This was not my mate; this was a distorted, mindless, parody of my mate.
I could not understand what had happened to her. Had Janeway distorted her memories, erased them in some way? Brainwashed her? Before I had any answer to these questions the new bane of my existence appeared, and for the second time my love was stolen from me.
This time, however, I was not enraged or over whelmed with grief. I decided to approach the situation logically. It was clear to me that something had happened to my mate. It appeared that her knowledge of the collective and much of her data was still in place, however many of her personal memories appeared to be unavailable. I concluded those loss of memories must have occurred during her initial separation.
Again I began to formulate a course of action. One, which would bring my beloved back to where she belonged.
I had resolved to restore her memories during her regeneration sequence. However my love never regenerated long enough to give my children and I time to disable the protective codes in her alcove enabling us to heal her. Unable to think of anything else I contented myself with listening to her thoughts, her hopes, and learning more mundane matters such as the inner politics of the ship. I could look but I couldn''t touch. It was heartbreaking.
I was constantly amazed that even without her memories she would choose to remain on a vessel where she was openly despised, hated and feared. Locked away in a cold empty cargo bay, like some monster in a dungeon. My love had developed a passion for masochism so it seemed. The worst aspect of it all was her desperate and unrequited love for Janeway. I would have called it pathetic but it would have been hypocritical of me to do so. How small and pathetic my love and I had become.
Suddenly there was hope again. There had been a change within the social structure of the crew. Apparently the great and powerful Captain Janeway had, much to my lover''s dismay, entered into a relationship with her chief engineer.
Lt Torres was one of my love''s more prominent detractors, mocking her at every available opportunity, and in general making my mate''s life more miserable than it already was. The engineer knew of my mate''s love for her Captain, and went out of her way to flaunt her relationship with Janeway, in my poor Seven''s face. Due to the Lt''s loved and respected position within the social structure of Voyager, other crewmembers began to follow suit, and my love began to take refuge in the oblivion of her alcove.
It was all I needed. With my mate spending more time in her alcove, my children and I could begin work on decoding the algorithms without being detected, a long and lengthy process, by Borg standards at least. By breaking down the barriers I could at long last touch her mind in any way I wanted.
It was inconceivable for me to re introduce her memories at once, as I now had to take into account her new moral stance concerning her past. The only way to achieve this was to do it gradually piece by piece.
To begin with, a small hint of her feelings of the time. I intended for her to seek regeneration more regularly as a way to recapture her feelings, rather than to seek out oblivion. After a few days of this, I felt it was time to ""up the ante"" so to speak I re introduced a memory of my love assimilating a murderer, amplifying the feelings of righteousness and ecstasy. The next day it was a thief.
With each passing day a new memory was introduced, and her feelings were amplified. Anything my love had difficulty processing would be replayed until she could accept it and learn to cherish the memory. It continued this way until I was able to show images of her assimilating a small child, screaming for it''s mother, vomiting, begging, without her having a crisis of conscious.
I also learned from my love''s memories since the day before, that many of the crew had been giving her wide berth. They were becoming frightened of her. I knew then that it was only a matter of time before Janeway realised what was going on. I resolved to reveal all to Seven at her next regeneration cycle, then all there was to do was wait.
And that leads me to the present I suppose. Five human minutes ago a conduit opened near the complex, and a small federation ship appeared from it. I instructed my drones to proceed accordingly and efficiently, while I prepared myself for my lover''s homecoming.
I can''t help but feel smug as I head towards the assimilation chamber, hearing the screams and pleas from my lover''s former crewmates, leaves me satisfied, and I take more pleasure than I should from the joining of minds.
Janeway is the first to notice my arrival to the chamber. She glares at me with wide-eyed hatred, fear, and disgust, disgusted by my unclothed state no doubt. As I stated earlier I wanted to prepare myself for my mate''s arrival.
My mate turns to look at me for the first time, glancing up and down appreciatively, and walks over to me.
""I''m sorry. Forgive me?"" She whispers in my ear, placing her missed lips all over my face.
""Of course."" I reply, wrapping my arms around her body, while Janeway looks on increasingly horrified at each passing moment.
My lover breaks away from my lips and joins her mind with mine, we both cry out in pleasure. My beloved grins at me and begins a downward descent, leaving behind her a trail of kisses in her wake. I run my fingers through her hair enjoying the sensations it produces as she does so.
The whole time I maintain eye contact with Janeway, she''s still not offering any resistance to my two drones that are holding her. I let out a small gasp as my love reaches her destination. I regard Janeway with a small smile.
""It is not often we receive visitors here, but I do hope that you''ll enjoy your stay with us."" I find it harder to talk, I press on gasping at some points. ""You''ll find that during your time……with us……that there is plenty……to……""
I am unable to finish as my love brings me to climax; Janeway is no longer watching us or listening. She is preoccupied as her former lover, as the now Three of Ten rises from the table and begins her duties.
My beloved makes her way back to my lips; I can taste my fluids from her mouth, efficiently remove her clothing, and drive her into the bulkhead. I spare one last glance at Janeway, who is now lying on the table being prepared for assimilation. I grin at her.
""Enjoy your stay.""
I recapture my lover''s lips and we slide down to the floor. Love making to the rhythm of the screams of birth, true perfection.
I suppose there is truth in the human saying. Love does conquer all.
