BEST OVERALL POEM/FILK ~ 1st
Title: Deanna And Shelby Have Sex
Author: J. Juls
Series: TNG
Rating: R
Codes: T/Shelby, poem, humor, Tu**ol**t
Summary: Deanna and Shelby have sex. Deanna and Shelby have sex. Deanna
and Shelby, Deanna and Shelby, Deanna and Shelby have sex. Then other stuff
happens.
Disclaimer: All Star Trek stuff owned by Para-mana-mana. Doot dooooo do do
doo. Mana-mana. Doot do doot doo. Pussy Galore owned by them guys who sue
Austin Powers all the time; don't sue me in the briar patch! Or something!
Note: Written for the Femme Fuh-q Fest.
DEANNA AND SHELBY HAVE SEX
by J. Juls 7-30-02
The way of Deanna's career
Was lending a hand and an ear
To be empathetic
With all the pathetic
Recruits who shipped out every year.
At four o'clock Tuesday, by chance,
She got quite a kick in the pants
From one Light Commander
Of unquestioned candor
Who'd later retreat than advance.
"Compulsory counseling crap,"
She said as she sat on Dee's lap.
"They say I'm too bitchy,
But I'm only itchy."
Her rhyme disease earned her a slap.
"Professional ethics declare
That you must sit way over there,"
Dee said as she shut off
(And shooed Shelby's butt off)
The front of her own derierre.
The whisk of an opening door,
And Shelby was present no more.
Dee noticed a stirring
And found herself purring
And kneading her pussy galore.
She ran after Shelby and then
Caught up to her right on deck ten.
"Dee, what was I thinking?
I'm going out drinking.
I might have to settle for men."
Dee ordered her honey a beer
To make her apology clear.
"I now am off-duty.
Would you like some booty?"
"You're nobody's poet, my dear."
Regardless, they got on the lift
And spent most of Epsilon shift
In sundry positions
And more intromissions
Of finger and pharynx and rift.
"Send lift!" implored Captain Picard
In tone both sepulchral and hard.
(You gotta project it
Or grunts'll reject it --
A trick he had learned from the Bard.)
The door remained stubbornly closed,
Not knowing whose will it opposed.
"I override, Theta
Pi Omicron Beta!"
(If *that* didn't work, he was hosed!)
You already know what he found
When that errant lift came around.
The two horny ferrets
Got plenty demerits,
But luckily, they didn't give a shit anyway. It was the end of the poem.
END!
AUTHOR INDEX
