Title: THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE: PROPOSITION
Author: T'Lin ( LinkyS@aol.com )
Series: TOS
Code: S/U, U/Am, Sa/Am (alternate reality)
Rating: R
Summary: The 5-year mission is over, and Spock has returned to Vulcan to teach at the Vulcan Science Academy. Nyota Uhura comes to Vulcan to attend a linguistics seminar. Past relationships are examined. If I say any more, I'll give the whole thing away <g>
Note: This story, although able to stand alone, is a sequel to "Emotional Release" and a prequel to "In Her Time Of Need", both of which are U/Am (with Sa/Am undertones), and can be found on the Femme Fuh-Q Fest web page -- http://www.oocities.org/femme_fuhq_fest/ ... I recommend reading "Emotional Release" prior to reading this, as it sets up the relationship between Uhura and Amanda.
Archiving: ASC*, CC/SSD, the FFF and my own web page - http://www.oocities.org/tlin_s/ All others, please ask first.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the STAR TREK universe ... I just borrow the people and places for a bit of fun ... I promise to return everyone when I am done. I make no money off of this, it is purely for entertainment purposes. Although the characters are not mine, this original work of fanfiction is ©T'Lin, 30 January, 2003
Feedback gladly accepted ... but please, no flames.
by T'Lin 0301.30
Personal Log, Nyota Uhura:
After spending the past five years aboard a starship, I thought that I would enjoy my time on Earth ... funny how, at the first opportunity, I jumped back on a ship. Of course, this was just a short trip to a linguistics seminar on Vulcan. Just what I needed to break up the monotony of teaching at Starfleet Academy.
Once I had made my arrangements, I had intended to contact Amanda to see if I could visit while on Vulcan ... much to my surprise, Spock contacted me first, inviting me to stay at there home while I was on planet. Seeing my obvious surprise at his invitation, he informed me that he had seen my name on the registration list that was posted at the VSA. Apparently, the seminar was associated with one of the classes he is currently teaching.
Of course, I accepted the invitation. How could I turn down an opportunity to spend some time with Amanda, without the emotional turmoil that had brought us together just a few short years ago. Oh, we had found a few quiet hours together in the intervening years, but for the most part, our relationship had been through correspondence. There was only so much passion that could be expressed in the form of a comm transmission.
So here I am, recording my thoughts while en route to Vulcan. After accepting Spock's invitation, I still called Amanda ... I wanted to give her my itinerary so that she could arrange her own schedule around mine. We would make the most of our brief time together. Just the thought of holding her in my arms once again aroused me, making me wish the trip were over already. But alas, there were a few hours still left in which I should get a bit of sleep ... we would be arriving on Vulcan near mid-day, local time. It is 'early' for me now, but if I do not sleep, I will wind up staying up over thirty hours by the time night falls on Vulcan. Falling asleep during dinner just will not do.
End Log.
Uhura was among the first to disembark from the long-range shuttle. The time difference between Earth and Vulcan was always problematic, but she had managed to get some sleep, and would be able to function properly ... as long as she continued to convince herself that it was *not* 2:00 in the morning, but mid-afternoon.
Since she already knew the way to Sarek and Amanda's house, she had told Spock not to bother picking her up. Oddly enough, she was not really surprised to see him there anyway. Adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder, she gave him a quick wave, to let him know that she had seen him across the concourse.
With purposeful strides, she crossed the distance between them, a smile lighting her features as he offered to take her bag from her. "Thank you, Spock ... but you really didn't have to meet me here," she said, as she let him take the larger of her two bags.
"It was no inconvenience," he assured her, as he started walking toward the parking area. As they approached a small air-car, he continued, "I am on my way home at this time, in any case, and saw no reason to make you use public transportation, when I was traveling the same route you would be taking."
"Quite logical," she agreed, and noticed a slight lift of his brow.
The air-car was more like a personal shuttle, with room for four to sit comfortably. Her bags stowed in the small cargo area, she strapped into the passenger seat, as Spock went through a pre-flight check. "This vehicle is capable of low-orbit flight," he said, as he finished going through the checklist. "I opted to use it today so that you could see my planet from such a vantage point, while T'Kuht is near." Turning to face Uhura, he added, "I think you will find it quite impressive, Nyota."
She blinked at the use of her given name ... Spock had never done that, in her recollection. It was then that she noticed the slight smile ... more in the eyes than on the lips, but it was there nonetheless. Composing herself, she replied, "I'm sure I will. Your mother was telling me about how lovely the night sky looks with T'Kuht rising over Mount Seleya, but I didn't think I'd get the chance to see it during this trip."
"No, you are about three weeks too early for that, which is why I am taking you into low-orbit now." The air-car lifted off smoothly, entering the flow of traffic as if Spock had been doing it all his life. They were silent for a few minutes, as he maneuvered through the most densely populated section of the city. Once outside the city limits, he climbed.
Uhura noticed that the light changed outside ... the reddish hue of Vulcan's sky turned purplish, as they climbed higher. When they passed the terminator from day to night, and it was nearly black outside, Spock pointed across Uhura to the viewport on her right, "Look ... see T'Kuht rise over the edge of the world."
And that was when she got her first look at T'Kuht rising over Vulcan ... the blood-red disk seemed to set the rim of the planet on fire, as the Vulcan sun lit it from the other side of the world. It was an amazing sight, one that she would never in her wildest dreams expect Spock to appreciate on a purely aesthetic level ... yet when she looked at him, she could see the same awe and wanderlust reflected in his eyes that she knew was in her own.
It was at that moment that she realized there was something different about Spock. He seemed *freer* somehow. Unafraid of allowing his emotions to show ... at least in her company. Funny, but she had assumed that he would be *more* Vulcan, living as he was now among them day after day. This new Spock would take a bit of getting used to.
Luckily for her, Spock was not one to make idle chatter. He continued their flight toward the horizon, leaving her alone in her quiet observation of T'Kuht. Little did he know that her mind was more on him than on Vulcan's sister planet.
Soon, it was time to descend. Spock banked the small craft, leaving T'Kuht in Uhura's line-of-site as long as possible. When it could no longer be seen, he turned the craft toward home, lost in his own thoughts about Nyota Uhura, and the future he was about to propose to her.
******
All was quiet when Spock and Uhura arrived at his home. Spock showed her to the room she would be staying in, and left her to settle in. When she emerged a few minutes later, he said, "There was a message from my mother. It appears as if we will be on our own for the remainder of the day, as my father had an unexpected diplomatic function to attend, and her presence was required."
She tried to keep the disappointment from her voice as she replied, "I suppose that is to be expected. Even on Vulcan, not everything can be assumed to go as planned."
"That is correct," he said, and sensing her disappointment, added, "however, that does not change the fact that you feel let down by the change of plans. I will do my utmost to see that you enjoy your evening. My mother would expect no less from me."
Once again, Uhura was puzzled by the mixed emotions she was sensing in Spock. His words were as crisp and unemotional as ever, yet there was an underlying feeling that she was missing something here. Looking at him closely, she once again noted the expressiveness of his eyes. She had never seen them quite so alive before.
He noticed her scrutiny, and nearly smiled. Her reaction was exactly what he wanted to see. Until she had arrived, he was uncertain as to whether or not she would be at all receptive to him, on a personal level. After all, they had worked closely, but aside from a few isolated moments of shared musical appreciation, they had not been 'friends' ... at least no more so than anyone had been friends with Spock, with the exception of the Captain, of course.
But to Spock, the possibility of a more intimate relationship with this woman had always been in the back of his consciousness. They had a great deal in common, and he admired her for her abilities and her strength of character. And yes, he had to admit to himself, she was aesthetically pleasing as well.
******
Amanda arrived at the Vulcan Embassy and was escorted to Sarek's office ... apparently, he was still in a meeting. This sudden summons by him was quite unusual ... and knowing how much she had been looking forward to Nyota's arrival, she could only assume that an emergency had arisen. Otherwise, Sarek would not have insisted she attend him this evening.
Nearly an hour had passed while Amanda waited. "Forgive me, my wife," Sarek said, as he came into his office. He crossed to the closet on the other side of the room, removed his ceremonial robe, and said, as he donned a fitted jacket she had never seen before, "Shall we go?"
Giving a small whistle of appreciation, she said, "You look quite handsome tonight ... but tell me," she continued, with a bit more serious tone, "what is the emergency?"
There was a slight smile on Sarek's face as he said, "There is no emergency." He could see that she was puzzled. Taking her by the arm and escorting her out of the office, he added, "I will explain on the way ... we are late."
Sarek ushered her to a waiting ground car ... one he would be driving himself. This also added to Amanda's confusion, since he seldom drove anywhere himself.
They had been on the road for nearly a minute when she could no longer take the silence. "What's going on? Where are we going?" And when he did not answer immediately, she continued, "Did you forget we had diner plans with Spock and Nyota?"
"No, my wife, I did not forget. However, I altered our plans so that Spock could spend this evening alone with Ms. Uhura."
"But why would you do that? Nyota and I ..." Amanda hesitated, finally hearing what Sarek had said to her. "Are you trying to tell me that Spock is *interested* in Nyota?"
"Yes, my wife. I thought you knew ... after all," Sarek was smiling as he added, "you are usually the one to pick up on this sort of thing, not I."
"Yes, I suppose you're right, I should have realized." Amanda contemplated the situation for a moment, before saying, "But Sarek, I do not understand why we couldn't have kept our original plans for this evening ... you know how much I was looking forward to seeing Nyota again."
"And you will see her again ... just not this evening." Sarek shifted his concentration to his driving for a moment, as he pulled the car into a parking lot. Once parked, he looked at his chronometer, then turned to face his wife, saying, "Amanda, Spock does not know of your relationship with Nyota. If he were to learn of it, before ..." he hesitated. When he continued, he apparently changed his tack. "Spock lacks confidence in himself when it comes to pursuing a potential mate."
"I see," Amanda interrupted. "You think that if Spock learns that Nyota is in a relationship with another woman, he will not even attempt to make his feelings known to her."
"Yes, that is exactly what I am saying." He then extended his fingers to her, adding, "The fact that the 'other woman' is his mother would only make matters worse, I fear."
Amanda touched fingers with him, saying, "Very logical, my husband. We will let them have this evening together." She leaned forward to kiss him in the human fashion, as she added, "I'll still be having my 'private' reunion with her in the morning after you and Spock leave for work," and with a wink, she added, "just think ... we can compare notes on Vulcan courtship techniques." She was smiling as she said this, and kissed Sarek once more before sitting back and opening her door.
Sarek touched her on the arm gently to stop her as he said, "Do not mock, my wife. Spock is quite serious in his attraction." He hesitated, then asked, "Do you think he has a chance with her? I would not like to see him hurt as he has been in the past."
"Ah, such human terms you use, my husband," Amanda said, as she took hold of his hand, where it rested on her arm.
"Perhaps, but that is simply because humans are involved ... and there are no equivalent words in Vulcan to fit this situation." The smile he gave her was a fleeting one, as he added, "The words used are not important. I must admit, it did not cross my mind until now that Nyota may not be receptive of Spock's attentions ... which would be difficult for him. Do you ...?"
The question was interrupted by Amanda saying, "My husband ... if you are asking if Nyota shares an attraction for Spock; I do not know. All I can tell you is that she may be open to it ... after all, her affections are non-exclusive. I know of at least one person, besides myself, with whom she has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with ... and that person is male."
"That is some consolation, at least ... the rest is up to Spock I suppose." Sarek released her hand and looked at his chronometer again, saying, "We must go ... we are now five minutes late for our dinner reservation."
********
Spock had called both the restaurant and theater where the four of them had reservations that evening, and was somewhat surprised that his father had already called and changed their reservation to the following night, which is what he had planned on doing. He then made one more call, and their evening was set.
He found Nyota in the garden, exactly where he expected her to be ... there was something about watching the sun set over the desert that seemed to draw the females in his life to this particular spot. When he had been growing up, he could always find his mother here at this time of the day.
Just as he had then, he stood at the edge of the garden, watching the expressiveness of her face, as she beheld the beauty before her ... a beauty he had never been able to appreciate openly. He had seen the sunset a million times, but its beauty could not compare to the woman before him.
He had not made a sound, but something alerted her to his presence ... she turned, and smiled. Which added to her beauty, in his eyes. "I did not mean to intrude," Spock said, barely above a whisper, just as he had done so many times when his mother had caught him watching her.
Uhura smiled wider, as she gestured for Spock to join her on the stone bench. "You're not intruding at all, come, sit ... there's no need to stand on ceremony, you know."
Spock hesitated for just a moment. Uhura, in a final attempt to tempt him to her side, gave the bench a little pat. Spock found himself moving towards her, drawn by the simple invitation. As he sat, he said, "My father had planned on the four of us attending the theater this evening."
"Yes, your mother told me. She had been looking forward to it." Uhura said, once again looking a bit disappointed. "It's a shame she'll have to miss it."
"Ah, but she will not ... my father took it upon himself to change our reservation to tomorrow night." His announcement seemed to cheer her ... he hoped his next one would, as well. "Instead, I thought you might be interested in attending a concert at the University. I contacted a colleague of mine, who was able to find me two tickets."
Her eyes lit up, as she asked, "It's not the Harp & Lyre concert, with T'Priz and Celeste, is it?"
"Yes, it is," he answered, knowing that the long sold-out concert would be to her liking. T'Priz, a master of the Vulcan Harp, and Celeste, who was equally masterful at playing the ancient Earth Lyre, had met purely by accident two years earlier. In that short span of time, their concerts had become legendary.
Spock had actually purchased the tickets as soon as they had become available, intending to contact Nyota and invite her to the concert. When the Linguistics Seminar was announced, he knew there would be no question about her being able to come ... then his mother and father made other plans for the evening. He held onto the tickets until just this morning ... hoping that Sarek would be forced to change plans for some reason. He even tried speaking to his father about his intentions concerning Nyota, in the hopes that he would see the wisdom in allowing his son to spend some time alone with her ... but each time he tried, their conversation was interrupted by one thing or another.
Last night, he realized it was too late, and decided to give the tickets to a colleague. Luckily for Spock, his colleague had a late class, and had not told his wife about the tickets yet.
"Oh, Spock," she said, as she impulsively leaned toward him, and kissed him. As she did this, Spock instinctively reached up, as if to caress her cheek, but stopped himself at the last second as Nyota sat back quickly. "Forgive me, Spock," she said, obviously flustered by her reaction to him. She had thought that the attraction she had felt upon their first meeting over five years ago was long since buried ... after all, there was no way that he could ever reciprocate. Or so she had thought.
"There is nothing to forgive," he replied with a slight smile. "I do think the cause was sufficient."
"Perhaps, but ..." she got no further, as Spock interrupted her words.
"To be honest with you, I had hoped for such a reaction." The smile that had been evident in his eyes now made its presence known on his lips, as well ... at Nyota's openmouthed reaction, his eyebrow disappeared under his bangs. "This surprises you, does it not?"
"To be honest ... yes," Nyota admitted, as she stared at the openly smiling Vulcan. "May I be blunt?"
"Of course." Spock said without hesitation. He wanted nothing less than her honesty ... even if it meant that she had no interest. It was better to know now.
"You have never impressed me as one who was interested in any kind of romantic entanglement." she said, then hesitated, trying to compose her thoughts before continuing. "You have said on more than one occasion that Vulcans do not love ... that they cannot express emotions of this nature. Of course, I know from my conversations with your mother that this is not the case."
She stopped, as she saw his reaction to her words ... apparently he was not aware that she and his mother had been corresponding on a regular basis since they first met aboard the Enterprise. "You seem surprised, Spock. Didn't your mother tell you that she and I correspond?"
"Yes, but I did not realize that you discussed such personal matters as her relationship with my father. I had assumed that your correspondences had more to do with her being able to learn what I was up to, since she is always complaining that I do not write often enough."
Nyota smiled. "Yes, you are the subject of our conversations from time to time, but we have much more in common than just you ... remember, your mother is also a linguist." Of course, this was not the only thing they had in common, but it was not the time to make any further revelations about their relationship ... she would have to talk to Amanda first, in any case.
"Yes, I should have realized." Spock sat facing Nyota for a moment before continuing. "As you have said, it is not beyond the capability of a Vulcan to feel emotion ... even the emotion that some would call 'love'. But it is a fine line one must draw between expressing these emotions, and controlling them, lest they control you."
He paused once again, then continued, "Very early in my Starfleet career, I gave in to the temptation to 'fit in' with my human colleagues. I allowed my emotions to surface, and as a result, someone close to me nearly got killed. I vowed to never again let my personal desires control my actions."
Nyota watched him with a thoughtful expression on her face. His words made sense, from what little she had learned of him and his youth from his mother, but it didn't explain everything. "That may be all well and good, and it would explain why you were so cold to Christine, even though you knew how she felt about you, but you did allow someone to get close to you ... the captain."
"Yes, I did," he said, turning away as he admitted, "and every time he was injured, or taken captive, or missing, I agonized over what I could have done to prevent it."
She smiled, saying, "Knowing the captain ... absolutely nothing."
"So true ... but it does not change anything ... which, I suppose, is why I left Starfleet when our mission ended."
"Yes, that makes sense." It was Nyota's turn to be pensive for a moment, before continuing, "May I assume by your recent actions that you are attracted to me?"
"Yes, you may," Spock said without elaboration.
"Then a question, if you don't mind." At his nod of assent, she continued, "When did you first become attracted to me?"
For once, there was absolutely no sign of hesitation on Spock's part. "On the Enterprise, in the rec room, the first time you sang while I was I playing harp. I hardly knew you, but there was something about you that I felt calling to me. The attraction has only grown stronger over the years."
"Yet you never let on." She smiled at him, suddenly feeling like a schoolgirl once again. She took his hand in hers, as she said, "Tell me, had you known that I, too, was attracted to you ... would you have acted any differently towards me?"
"In all honesty ... most likely not." He could see that she was trying to maintain her smile, but not entirely succeeding. Trying to salvage the moment, he continued, "I had said over and over again that I could not feel 'love' or any other emotions ... so much so, that I truly began to believe it myself. I had resigned myself to living a life alone ... the walls I had built around myself were virtually impenetrable.
"When I came home, I went to study at Gol for a brief time. I knew that the way of the Kolinahru was not my path, but I needed to find focus ... and with their guidance, I came to realize that the balance between emotionalism and logic was not as precarious as I had thought." He lifted her hand to his lips, as he continued, "I would be honored if you would help me find that balance."
"I am flattered ... but this is not a decision that I can make hastily. There are so many factors to take into consideration, the least of which is the fact that I am still in Starfleet, and will, in all likelihood, be reassigned to a deep-space mission eventually." She could see the smile leaving his eyes ... funny how she had never noticed how expressive his eyes were before. Shaking her head slightly, she went on, saying, "I have never wanted a long-term committed relationship, for I have never wanted to 'leave someone behind' ... but I am now at a point in my life where the prospect of having children appeals to me nearly as much as space exploration."
"There is no need to decide immediately ... as long as you are willing to consider my proposal." He kissed her hand once more before standing, and pulling her to her feet, adding, "Come, we must go soon if we do not want to miss the beginning of the concert."
She pressed against him, standing on tiptoe to kiss him before heading to her room, saying over her shoulder, "Just give me a second to change."
Spock watched, as the bedroom door closed, confident that he would be able to win her over ... even if it meant re-joining Starfleet in order for them to be together.
*********
<the next morning>
Nyota awoke with a smile. Her long anticipated reunion with Amanda was just minutes away ... they would have the whole day to themselves.
But the anticipated joy of their reunion was marred by her confusion over what happened with Spock the night before. Spock had changed since he had been home ... changed in a way that she found quite attractive. She had found herself responding to him in a way that was rare in her experience ... and it frightened her somewhat.
Last night, he had explained why he had been so aloof aboard ship, but she could not help but wonder if he were truly able to return affection, after years of suppressing his inner desires.
If she let him into her life, would she have to give up a part of herself? Would she ultimately end up feeling unfulfilled? These were the thoughts that were running through her mind as Amanda entered, breakfast tray in hand.
Nyota jumped out of bed, and crossed to the door, taking the tray from Amanda's hands and placing it on a nearby table. Once the tray was safely out of the way, the two women embraced, kissing passionately.
Amanda was the first to pull away. She could sense Nyota's inner turmoil, and knew they would have to talk. "Tell me, how did your evening with my son go last night?" she asked, knowing that was most likely the source of Nyota's tension.
So many answers popped into her mind; wonderful ... beautiful ... confusing ... exciting ... scary. As she tried to come up with a more comprehensive answer, she could see Amanda smiling, and she asked, "Did you know? About Spock's feelings for me?"
"No ... not until Sarek told me last night, that is. I am sorry I had no chance to warn you." The hug she gave to her friend was far more compassionate that their initial greeting ... Nyota needed a friend now, not a lover. "Come, let's talk over breakfast."
They went to the table that the tray had been placed on, and pulled their chairs close. The smell of the tea drew Nyota, and she poured while Amanda served out small bowls of freshly cut fruit with yogurt spooned over it. They ate in silence for a few minutes, then Nyota said softly, "I had no idea ... and now that I know, I'm not entirely sure how I should handle this."
"Carefully, I should think," Amanda replied with a smile. She sat back and sipped her tea before continuing, "I suppose my first question should be; do you share his feelings? If not, then it is best to say so from the outset."
"Oh, I agree ... believe me, I would not lead him on like that. And the answer to your question is yes ... from the first time I met him, I was attracted. As we worked together, I found myself wanting to know him better, but I soon learned that it was a hollow wish ... so I buried my desire for him, and tried to cultivate as much friendship as I could." Here she stopped and smiled at Amanda, knowing she would understand, as she continued, "He did not make it easy, I'll tell you."
"I can imagine." Amanda's mind flashed on all the times she had tried to get Spock to be more 'open' to people when he was a child ... undoubtedly, he had honed his isolationist skills as he matured to adulthood. "So, what do you think of my son, now? I don't know about you, but I've certainly noticed a change in him since he went to Gol." She winked at Nyota, as she added, "Believe me, I was relieved when he came back ... I feared he would decide to stay ... or if he returned, there would be no emotions left in him at all, which would have been far worse, in my opinion."
"Oh, I liked what I saw last night, but I am also confused by it ... he is so different, I fear that I am imagining his smile." As she said this, she reached out and took Amanda's hand, saying, "I want to explore what he's offering, but at the same time, I fear being hurt if he reverts to his former 'cold' self ... and at the same time, I also fear what will happen to him, if I cannot live up to what he expects.
"There are so many complications ... the least of which is my being in Starfleet still, while he has resigned his commission. As I told him last night, I never wanted to be in a position where I was 'leaving someone behind' ... nor do I want to give up space exploration. My current assignment is only temporary ... I will be going out there again."
"I know you will, my dear ... and I can almost guarantee you that, if you and Spock make a go of things, he will reinstate his position in Starfleet, in order to be with you." She could see that Nyota knew this to be true, as well. "So, you share his feelings, which means all the little details will sort themselves out in time ... as long as you two always keep open and honest with each other."
Amanda stood, and extended her hand to Nyota ... her invitation clear on her face. "Enough discussion about my son," she said, as she led Nyota to the bed. As she pulled her down to sit next to her, she added, "This, too, we should tell him about ... but not just yet. He may be able to understand your need to fulfil certain desires, but I doubt any son would be able to understand that about their own mother."
"Ah, yes ... I do see what you mean. I suppose I could tell him that, from time to time, I appreciate the company of another woman, just as I have occasionally shared my bed with a man ... no need to get too detailed about who my partners have been." She cupped Amanda's cheek, as she leaned in for a kiss, then added, "Perhaps we can enlist Sarek's help in explaining things to Spock ... after all, who knows the intimate nature of being married to a human woman, and all her emotional needs, better than him?"
Amanda smiled at that. "Yes, who indeed. I can see it now ... all of Spock's illusions about his parents shattered in an instant." At this, she laughed, and Nyota joined in. She, too, could imagine Spock's reaction to learn of some of the things Sarek and Amanda had done in the name of love over the years ... things that the stoic Spock would be hard pressed to imagine, most likely.
In their shared laughter, they fell back onto the bed, hands exploring in a playful manner. Amanda ran her hands along Nyota's ribs, tickling her as she whispering, "Sarek is ticklish behind his knees ... when Spock was a child, he was too. For your sake, I hope he still is ... it is such a lovely thing to hear them laugh."
Between giggles, and her meager attempts to break free from the mild torture of Amanda's fingers, Nyota said, "Hmmm ... his knees, you say ... I'll remember that." She then asserted herself, and caught Amanda off guard. She quickly rolled them both over, so that she was now straddling the older woman, pinning her hands to the bed over her head. Nyota leaned down and covered Amanda's mouth with her own, then asked, "Are you ticklish?"
There was disbelief in Amanda's eyes, as she said, "No ... not at all." Nyota could tell this wasn't the truth ... after all, everyone was ticklish to a degree. You just had to know where.
Holding both of Amanda's hands with one of her own, Nyota began to explore ... fingers giving feather-light caresses along her breasts and ribs ... she watched as the gooseflesh rose on the soft skin. Fascinated by Amanda's reaction to her touch, Nyota released her hold on Amanda's hands, and slid lower along her body ... as her fingers caressed the tip of a hip, Amanda moaned softly, and Nyota silenced her with a kiss.
As Nyota's hands explored further down Amanda's body, her lips followed ... all thoughts of tickling her lover gone from her mind as she brought Amanda release.
********
The day had been a glorious one ... they had loved, and laughed, and shared so much with each other. Nyota was grateful for such a loving friend ... waking up in her arms made her smile. She watched Amanda sleeping, and knew that she could not give this up ... even for Spock. She hoped he would understand that she needed this kind of 'closeness' occasionally.
As she was thinking of Spock, Amanda woke. "Hmmm ... that was so nice, love. What time is it?" Amanda asked, as she snuggled closer to Nyota.
"Nearly four ... we should get up soon. Won't Sarek and Spock be back around five?" Nyota asked, as she kissed Amanda on the forehead.
"Yes. It would not do to have them find us like this," Amanda confirmed, rolling onto her back and pulling Nyota's face closer, so that she could kiss her lips, adding, " tempting as it may be to stay here."
"Tempting, yes ... but not exactly how I want to break the news to Spock." They laughed, then Nyota got out of bed, adding with a wink, "Time for a shower, I think."
"Yes, my dear ... but I think I'll go use my own. After all, we only have an hour to get ready." She crossed the room, and kissed Nyota before grabbing her robe, and crossing the hall to the room she shared with her husband.
*********
Sarek arrived home a short time later, and found his wife partially dressed in their room. The sight of her, combined with his knowledge of how she had spent her day, made him wish that they could be alone this night. It had been some time since they had been intimate with one another.
Their dinner reservation was for six-thirty, so there was no need to rush. It would be at least forty-five minutes until Spock returned home. Plenty of time to show his wife how much he appreciated her.
Sarek crossed the room, opening their bond as he placed his hands on Amanda's shoulders. She leaned back, looking up at him, smiling at the mental image he projected to her. There were no words exchanged as she rose, and slipped out of the bra and panties she had been wearing. His ceremonial robe was as quickly removed, along with the pants and tunic he wore under it.
He lifted her, and placed her on the bed, where he lay beside her. His hand traced the line of her body, just as Nyota's had done earlier. He could see her comparing the action in her mind, and he smiled, saying, "Come, my wife. Make me lose myself in you."
Amanda smiled ... she thoroughly enjoyed it when Sarek allowed her to be in complete control. Usually, she took advantage of this to prolong their lovemaking as long as possible, but that would not be possible today. So, instead of sustaining his ecstasy by a slow process of manipulation designed to drive him crazy, she would make it quick but far more intense. If she was lucky, he would come begging for more after the theater tonight.
She had become quite expert at stimulating him in a number of different ways. When she added images and emotions from earlier in the day, she could sense his added arousal ... she was pleased to see that his knowledge of what she and Nyota did together affected him so.
As she made love to him, images of Nyota bringing her to release filled her mind. The images intensified Sarek's desire, making his own release almost instantaneous. As he came, so did Amanda ... neither one fully satiated by the encounter. He wanted more, as did she, but it was getting late ... Spock would be home soon.
*********
Nyota was in the garden, watching the sunset when Spock arrived. As he had done the night before, he stood silently watching her. And just like the night before, she somehow sensed his presence, and turned, offering the seat next to her on the bench.
Without hesitation, he joined her. They sat in silence, watching the sun go down. After a moment, she reached out and took his hand ... the warmth of his touch and the smile in his eyes making her feel good all over.
"How was your day, Nyota?" Spock asked, as he watched her from the corner of his eye. He could sense her joy through their touch, but did not want to intrude on her thoughts without her permission.
Her face lit up with her smile as she turned and said, "It was wonderful! Thank you for asking."
"I am pleased that you enjoyed your day." Spock turned to look at her, as he added,"I know that my mother was looking forward to spending time with you." Seeing her blush slightly, and look away, Spock raised his brow; perhaps he had not misinterpreted the comment his father had made that morning after all. Releasing her hand, he stood, adding, "If we are to be on time for our dinner reservation, I must go and change," and her turned and left the garden.
Nyota sat, watching him leave. His sudden departure was nearly as disconcerting as his admitting his feelings the night before. Obviously, he read something in her reaction to his comment about his mother wanting to spend time with her ... she had not realized how attuned he was to reading body language. They would have to talk .. Later.
But for now, she needed to finish getting dressed herself.
********
The evening was perfect ... dinner in one of the best Italian Restaurants Nyota had ever eaten in, followed by the theater. Vulcan theater reminded her of ancient Japanese Kabuki ... steeped in tradition, and exquisitely beautiful. She thoroughly enjoyed herself.
As they were leaving, she was taken by surprise when Spock suggested stopping for drinks ... it just didn't seem to fit with the image she had of Spock, in particular, or Vulcans, in general. However, seeing that neither Sarek nor Amanda were startled by the suggestion, she agreed that it would be fun.
The atmosphere of the club was even more disconcerting -- it looked and sounded as if it would be more at home in New Orleans than on Vulcan. Nyota smiled, as Spock leaned down to whispered in her ear, "My father suggested this place ... it is one of my mother's favorites. I hope you like it."
"Oh, yes ... it's wonderful!" She said, as she stood on tip-toe, in order to whisper in Spock's ear. "I love jazz." she added, as she leaned closer. The feel of his body against her was nearly as intoxicating as the music. When he wrapped his arm around her, to lead her to the table his parents had acquired, her knees grew weak.
The table they were given was perfectly placed ... close enough to the dance floor to feel part of the scene, yet isolated enough to be conductive to conversation, if that was what they wanted. After placing their drink order, Nyota and Amanda excused themselves ... leaving Spock and his father alone for a moment.
"Am I correct in assuming you wish to make Ms. Uhura your wife?" Sarek asked, when they had ben alone for a short while. Without giving Spock time to reply, he added, "She would make a nice match for you."
"Yes, father ... and I do believe she is amenable to the prospect ... although ..." he hesitated, once again wondering if he was correctly interpreting the comment Sarek had made earlier about his mother and Nyota.
Seeing his son's hesitation, Sarek said, "Do not second guess yourself ... from what your mother says, Ms. Uhura is very amenable to you. You just need to be open to all that she can offer you, and be willing to accept that there are times when you may not be able to give her all she needs." Seeing the questioning look in his son's eyes, he added, "It is part of being involved with a human female ... they have needs that we, as Vulcan males, cannot fulfil. It took me a great deal of time to learn this, and accept it ... but after many years, your mother found a solution that I could live with, as you must, if you wish to become involved with a human."
"And what solution was that, if you don't mind telling me?" Spock asked, wondering exactly what he would be getting himself into.
"It is not my place to say. However, speak to Nyota tonight. Tell her what I have said. If she is willing to be completely open with you, all of your questions will be answered." Sarek said, rather cryptically.
Spock wished to question his father further, but just then, Nyota and Amanda returned, followed immediately by their waiter, with their drinks. No sooner had they returned, when Sarek asked his wife to dance. Amanda winked at Nyota, as she took her husband's hand. Leaving Spock and Nyota alone at the table.
Nyota sipped her drink, as she watched Spock through her lashes ... she would love to dance, as well, but assumed that he would not ask. She could see that he was watching her, as well ... obviously unsure of what to do next. His uncertainty was quite endearing, actually, and she found herself smiling.
"You find something amusing?" he asked, as he slid his chair closer to hers, in order to be able to talk over the music without raising his voice. He had moved close enough to touch her, yet somehow refrained from doing so ... she found that quite amusing, as well, and started to giggle. His only response was a raised brow.
Of course, the sight of his brow sliding under his bangs made her laugh all the more, before replying, "I'm sorry, Spock ... it's just ..." and she looked away, trying not to laugh outright, before continuing, "it's just that I don't picture your father in a place like this ... he always seems so 'proper'." Actually, this whole situation seemed rather surrealistic to her, but she didn't want to hurt Spock's feelings at all, so she said, "I never expected to find a place like this on Vulcan ... I didn't realize that Vulcan's went for the club scene at all."
"For the most part, they do not." Spock said, then went on to clarify things a bit, "This club, as you probably surmised, is run by humans ... and for the most part, caters to off-world clientele. My mother was the first one of us to discover it, and she brought my father here, since it reminded her of a place he once took her in San Francisco.
"It has become one of their favorite places to find a bit of divergence from the daily grind of diplomatic life." It was now Spock's turn to smile ever so slightly, as he added, "That was a quote by my mother, by the way ... and since I have been back on Vulcan, I have come to appreciate this club, as well. In many ways, it reminds me of the rec room on the Enterprise."
Nyota could see why Spock would make such a comparison ... the atmosphere here *was* very much like the rec room of the Enterprise, especially at the end of Alpha shift. She sipped her drink again, as the music flowed over her, closing her eyes as she softly hummed along with the familiar tune.
Spock was mesmerized by her ... he wanted to take her in his arms, as his father had taken his mother, yet at the same time, was content to sit back and watch her enjoy the music. As the music modulated from one piece to another, he slipped his arm across the back of her chair, and leaned close, asking, "May I have this dance?"
Startled by his closeness, she opened her eyes, and smiled. "I didn't know you could dance, Spock," She said. Then with a wink, added quickly, "but I would love to."
He stood, and offered his hand, adding, "My mother taught me, just as she taught my father." As he said this, his focus shifted ever so briefly to the dance floor ... Nyota followed his glance, to see Sarek and Amanda, floating effortlessly over the dance floor. The grace and efficiency of movement that she had always admired in Spock was evident in his father.
Sarek and Amanda were absolutely beautiful ... and as she returned her gaze to Spock, she noticed that the expression in Spock's eyes as he looked at her was very much like the one in Sarek's as he looked at Amanda. That one look was enough to erase any doubts she might still have about Spock.
She took his hand, and he led her to the dance floor. As he took her in his arms, she felt completely at ease ... and suddenly wished that she could be alone with him. She projected her feelings, wondering if he was at all receptive to her through their physical contact.
As the tempo of the music increased, Spock pulled her closer, making her very much aware of his own desires. Placing her hand against the back of his neck, she pulled him toward her, and kissed him, asking, "Will you come to my room tonight?"
"Yes," he said against her lips, "I was hoping to be able to talk with you privately ..."
He could feel her tense slightly at his words, before she said, "Talk? That's not exactly what I had in mind." She rubbed against him, to make sure that he got her point, before she added, "Of course, if all you want to do is talk ..."
"No ... that is not all I want to do," he replied with a smile, then added, "but I do believe that it is important that we do talk, at some point."
"Oh, I agree ... but it can wait until morning, I think." Nyota kissed him once more, as the song came to an end. As the band was taking a break, they returned to the table, where Amanda and Sarek were already waiting.
********
<<posted this much so far>>
It was quite late when they arrived home. Far later than Spock had intended, knowing that Nyota needed to get to the Linguistics Seminar very early the next morning. Regardless, he was determined to speak with her briefly before retiring for the night.
His parents said good night and quickly disappeared into their room, leaving Spock and Nyota alone. Spock turned to face her, as he said, "I know it is late, and you have an early morning, but I was wondering if I could have a word with you before you retire?"
Nyota stepped closer to Spock, reaching up to caress his cheek, as she said in a playful manner, "My invitation still stands. Of course," she added as she pulled him close to her, "if all you want to do is talk, we'll talk ... but I'll be honest with you ... I'm not really in the mood for talking." Her body was pressed against his, and when she finished speaking, she raised herself up on her toes and kissed him.
"Ah ... you are very tempting," Spock whispered before returning the kiss with far more passion than either of them expected. "But it is late, and you are no doubt tired." He could see that she was about to protest, so he quickly added, "I do not want our first time together to be a 'quickie' ... do you?"
"I see what you mean," she replied with a chuckle, then added, "but I don't want to say goodnight just yet, either. Come to my room, and we will talk for a bit." She stepped away from him, holding out her hand for him to take. He did, and followed her to the guest room, which was conveniently next to his own.
She kicked off her shoes, and said, "I hope you don't mind if I get a bit more comfortable," then went into the bathroom, only to emerge a minute later, dressed in a silky nightgown with a matching robe.
Spock had been looking out the window at the night-blooming flowers in the garden and turned when he saw her reflection in the glass. The sight of her made his heart race, but long years of practice kept him from showing any sign of his arousal. He had meant it when he said that he did not want their first time together to be a quickie ... not just because she deserved more attention from him than that, but also because it would be his 'first time' and he wanted it to be memorable.
He smiled at her, as he asked, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"
"Not in so many words," she said, "but earlier tonight, I could see it in your eyes. You have very expressive eyes ... funny how I never noticed that before."
"It is easy to miss something ,when one is not looking for it." Spock said, as he crossed the room. Taking her by the hand, he led her to the overstuffed chair near the window, and sat, pulling her into his lap. "I won't keep you long, but I need to ask you about something my father said to me earlier."
"And what would that be?" she asked, as she made herself comfortable.
"First, he is pleased that I have chosen you ... and apparently my mother has told him that you are amenable to my proposal. He then told me that I should not doubt myself, but be completely open to everything you can offer me." He smiled at her, as he caressed her cheek, and bent his head to kiss her, as he added, "Believe me when I say that I will do my best to be open to everything we can be together."
"Yes, I think you will." She kissed him in return, then said, "What else did your father say?"
"He mentioned that there were certain 'needs' that I would not be able to fulfill. He said that it was inevitable when Human females interacted with Vulcan males." Spock paused, slightly embarrassed by the subject matter. Hesitantly, he added, "From his comments, I am assuming that this has something to do with 'sexual drive' ... but I may be wrong." When he looked at Nyota, he saw only understanding, and relaxed slightly before continuing, "He would not tell me anything specific, nor what the solution was that my mother had found ... only that I should mention this to you."
"I see." She paused, trying to find the right words to answer his unasked question. Finally, she said, "There's no need for worry. Although 'sexual drive' may be part of it, the 'needs' he was speaking of are mainly emotional. I've found many solutions over the years, and will no doubt work things out to our mutual satisfaction in the future."
"I must admit," Spock said, idly stroking her thigh, "your answer is nearly as perplexing as my father's comments. If you could enlighten me a bit ... I am out of my element here, I fear."
Nyota smiled. "Spock ... are you a virgin?" She saw his eyebrow raise slightly at the question, and added quickly, "There is no shame in that, if you are ... but it would explain much."
"Technically ... no, I am not. But for all practical purposes, I am." He could see her confusion, so added, "The only times I have been ... sexually active ... I was either under alien influence, or some other mind-altering experience, and the act was not ... my choice." He had averted his eyes, as he stumbled through this awkward explanation.
"Yes, I recall a few of those instances." Images of being forced to take part in the entertainment of some spoiled Platonians flashed into her mind, and she understood why Spock was so reluctant to speak of such things. "But there must have been a *few* good memories of those experiences ... even if you were not in control of the situation."
"Oh, yes, there were ... but memories of brief glimpses into a life that was not to be ..." he shook his head, then added, "my reading of the subject has been more enlightening, if I may say so ... although one could hardly call oneself 'experienced' in the field, simply from reading."
"No. Reading may give you information, but it lacks the 'feelings' and 'sensations' associated with the act ... until you have fully experienced all there is to a loving relationship, it is difficult to understand all that it can be." Suddenly, she yawned
"Ah, you are tired," Spock said. "No doubt I should let you get some sleep."
"She hugged him, saying, "Let me continue this for just a moment more ... since I think it will be important for you to hear what I have to say." She shifted slightly, so that she could look into his eyes as she spoke, then continued, "Each person brings something unique to a relationship ... personal desires and needs can vary greatly from person to person.
"The ultimate goal is to find that one person who can fulfill your every desire ... if you are lucky, you fulfill all of theirs, as well. Of course, that is an unattainable goal. The problem is, most people do not realize this." She paused to make sure he was still following her train of thought. When he nodded, she continued, "I have spent my life trying very hard to be fulfilled, without the expectation of finding the 'perfect mate' ... I've only been partially successful.
"In the past five years, I have had two long-term relationships, neither of which *could *be anything more than what they are, nor would I have wanted them to be. One of these relationships fulfills my sexual desires ... the other, primarily, fulfills my emotional needs." She stopped, and smiled, then kissed Spock as she added, "The first, I will end, now that we are to be together. The second, I will want to continue ... this is what your father was referring to."
"The first ... you are referring to your relationship with Mister Scott, are you not?" Spock asked, for he had heard rumors that they had been lovers from time to time.
"Yes, does that bother you?" she asked ... he did not seem to be jealous.
"Not at all," he said, then smiled, adding, "as long as it is now over." She kissed him again, as her confirmation that is was, indeed, over between herself and Scotty. Sobering slightly, Spock asked, "May I ask who the other person in your life is?"
"I thought it would be obvious to you," she teased, and at his total lack of comprehension, she added, "Spock, your mother and I are lovers."
"My *mother*?" Spock fell silent, staring at Nyota as if he had never seen her before. After an eternity, he said, "You are the 'solution' my father was referring to?"
"Yes." Suddenly, she could no longer read his emotional state ... his eyes were as closed and dark as she remembered them being aboard ship. The easy comfort she had felt with Spock all night was now gone. She shifted in his lap, then stood. He quickly did the same, and started to walk toward the door.
She reached out, and placed her hand on his arm -- he stopped, even though he could have easily broken away from the light hold she had on him. She knew that the next few words she uttered would seal her fate, one way or another. Determined to explain things to his satisfaction, she said, "Spock, I am bisexual, just as your mother is. When I found her, distraught after nearly losing both you and your father on the journey to the Babel conference, I offered her the emotional support she needed to get through that crisis. We soon learned that we had so very much in common, and before we knew it ... well, let's just say that we had both been missing something in our lives, that the other had been able to provide."
He remained silent, so she asked, "Do you understand?"
"Part of me understands, but part of me does not ... I must meditate." With this statement hanging between them, he pulled his arm away, and turned to her, saying, "We will speak of this again, tomorrow." and he walked out the door.
********
It had been a nearly sleepless night. For hours, she had contemplated how she could have handled things differently, and realized that she could not. If he was unable to handle the relationship between his mother and her, then it was better to know now, than find out later, when she had become emotionally attached to him.
But then again, it was too late for that ... she was already emotionally attached.
Perhaps she could get Sarek to speak to Spock again ... help him see reason. With this small flicker of hope to cling to, she fell into a restless sleep, only to be rudely awakened when the alarm went off less than an hour later.
She dressed quickly, and made her way to the kitchen. Much to her surprise, Amanda was already up and making coffee. Nyota crossed the room, and kissed her good morning, just as Sarek entered the kitchen from the garden outside, and Spock entered from the hallway. Nyota said good morning to Sarek, as Amanda said good morning to Spock ... Sarek returned the greeting, Spock did not ... he turned and walked out of the kitchen.
"What just happened, my dear?" Amanda asked, as she saw the stricken look on Nyota's face.
"He wanted to talk last night, so we talked ... and I told him about us." Nyota looked at Sarek, and asked, "Could you possibly talk to him?"
"I will try ... but you know how stubborn he can be." Sarek said, as he looked at his wife.
"Yes ... a trait he acquired from both of his parents." Amanda smiled as she said this, to help ease the tension in the room. She then turned back to Nyota, and added, "Don't worry, my dear ... he may be stubborn, but he is not a fool."
"No, he isn't a fool ... but I may be," Nyota said, as she hugged Amanda.
*******
By the time they had finished breakfast, Spock was nowhere to be found. He had promised to drive Nyota to the VSA this morning, so that she could attend the Linguistics Seminar ... Sarek drove her there instead. When he departed, he told her that a car would be waiting for her at the end of the day.
There were several lectures she had planned on attending this day ... but her mind was not on any of them. Her anxiety over Spock became nearly unbearable when he had not shown up for the lecture his department had sponsored ... according to the brochure, Spock *should* have introduced the speaker.
She sat there, lost in her own thoughts ... the lectures were nothing more than a blur of uncomprehensible sound.
A tap on her shoulder brought her back to reality, only to discover the lecture hall deserted. She turned, to see Spock standing behind her. "Forgive me, but I have been waiting for you in the parking lot for over an hour. I was growing concerned."
"You?" Nyota said, startled. Spock was the last person she expected to see, at this point. She stood, that small effort helping her find some composure. "I didn't expect to see you," she finally said.
"I can understand your apprehension ... and I ask forgiveness." The warmth was back in his eyes. Whatever he had been up to all day, he had apparently found a way to accept what she had told him the night before.
It was a start ... but Nyota knew the road to happiness would not be an easy one.
~~the end, for now~~