Title: "Unsaid"
Author: R.Schultz ( cousindream@aol.com )
Rating: R
Series: TNG
Code: F/m/f
Pairing: Beverly Crusher/Troi/Wesley
Disclaimer: All Trek belongs to Paramount and ViaBorgCom, who are crass greedy barbarians, lacking love for their Trek series. Story is mine under Berne Copyright Laws. 2600 words long.
Summary: Crusher is upset at the Counselor, Deanna Troi.
Warning: A little smut here and there, not much, most of it F/F. Leave if the concept indulates your flood plain. If you live in someplace which dislikes smut, you must not enter here.
Written January, 2003, for the FFF -- http://www.oocities.org/femme_fuhq_fest/ To be archived at ASCEML
Comments to RSchultz ( cousindream@aol.com )
by R.Schultz
"Aren't you a little long in the tooth for him?" I asked her.
Deanna managed to appear unruffled, but I didn't need to be a betazoid to see she did not appreciate my words. She turned slightly, facing me squarely, her hands to her sides. For a minute I waited for her to reply, until I was sure she had nothing to say in immediate response.
"No response?" I dared her.
She touched my blue coat sleeve with two fingers, but I jerked it away from her. I had a stomach full of righteous anger and I had no intention of letting it dissipate through her logic.
Finally she turned slightly away, obviously about to continue on her way.
Her voice came to as if from a distance. "I'm going to my cabin at this time. I have no patients at this time, and won't accept any new ones. My next two hours are free," Deanna replied.
She faced me again. "Would you please see me there? We can talk. You've always known how I like to talk. Especially to an old friend.
"Please, Beverly...."
She held my eyes a moment longer, then finished her turn. She retreated, leaving me standing in the corridor. She was almost around the curve and out of sight before I hurried to catch up with her.
She motioned me to enter her quarters first, and followed me inside. I whirled to face her, but she was already past me. She snagged a small bottle of something lightly lavender, with things floating in it. Vaguely Klingon appearing, but the sharp piquant scent told me it was Darklord Beaujolois. Without pausing she was somehow wetting the bottoms of two cognac snifters, and offering me one. The perfectionist in me noted she should have used tulip glasses. I pretended I didn't see her make the offer.
Deanna sat on the couch, both glasses in front of her on the little square table there. It was solid Terran teak, and it weighted a tonne.
I debated standing, wanting the psychological advantage my height would give me. However, Deanna didn't appear to notice my possible ploy. She leaned back into the couch and began sipping her wine.
Eventually I sat on the nearest easy chair, sitting on the edge. Working hard to maintain my outrage.
"That's much better," Deanna murmured.
"You want to talk," she continued. "What say we talk about Wesley?" I opened my mouth, then closed it, unsure if I could manage not to yell.
"We, Wesley and I, all of us, have been close for nearly four years now, haven't we?" she threw the words into the air.
"He came to me for the odd problem, not advertising the fact. He came for the usual things, quite mundane.
"He wanted to bed so-and-so. He didn't have the nerve. He objected to the way so-and-so treated him, seeing him as just a kid. He had doubts about his future and his sexual orientation and it's cojunct, why didn't any of the girls like him?
"Fortunately Wesley is stable enough that simply talking his problems out often provided him with validating answers. He's been aware of women, girls, for quite a few years now. He also has the customary corollary of viewing females as either goddesses or tramps.
"We talked, and he already knew females were people with differing plumbing. He just needed to put his thoughts in words. Therefore we talked, and he found his own insights.
"You know the procedures.
"Mostly Wesley kept his feet under him. Apart from his shyness, he really is a balanced genius.
"Just needed a little experience."
A pause which I snarled into.
"Is that what you call it? Experience? Not cradle robbing or debauching or, or, or...
"Damn it, Deanna, he was my SON!"
Deanna was maddening when she's being oh so very rational and logical and CALM!
"He's an adult, Beverly. He goes off to the Academy in a heartbeat or a month or a year. Days or weeks. He is an adult, and has been one for perhaps years. Not entirely adult, no, but not a child. No longer, Beverly."
I glared at her, remembering the many times Computer told me Wes remained in her cabin, this cabin.
Had she had him on that couch? On the floor? No, Wes would have been very conventional and restrained. They would have fucked in her bed. I glanced involuntarily towards that object.
Then there had been the interminable wait this morning, Deanna's cabin door in my view as I craned forward to view it. A few early risers or Gamma shift on their errands in the corridor. Then the door whooshed open, and Wes had a smiling farewell with Deanna. I could see her kiss him good night, my memory playing the scene over and over again in my mind. Her short robe flapping open, Deanna's hair unbound and floating, his hand behind her head. My son with my best friend.
It was the sense of betrayal that hurt the most, I told myself.
Deanna smiled down into her glass of sharp wine. "He was remarkably unsure of himself, but he was also remarkably adult in his choice of words. Nothing tawdry or declasse. Just a shy person's explanation of what he felt for me."
A hand in the air, a deeper smile. "It felt very natural, very open, very satisfying. He thought of me as another adult, not a higher being or a goddess or a slut.
"He likes older women, you know. Did you know what sort of a puppy-dog love he had for Natasha Yar? Even knowing she had a taste for women?" She sighed and sipped.
"Allowing Wesley to be closer than before, letting him into the circle of my arms, it seemed a good idea at the time. It was a meeting of the flesh, yet it was much more than that. It was remarkably easy accepting his hesitant offer.
"He's the better for it, I believe, and isn't it better he knows a longtime friend than a near stranger?"
"DAMMIT! Why MY Wesley?"
"He asked nicely and it looked to be fun. My choice, and it WAS fun.
"Don't you feel a little bit better, Beverly sweet dear friend, just a tiny bit, knowing he is overcoming his shyness? In increments, but he is getting over it.
"Wouldn't you sleep better knowing he proved to himself he can function as a male? And he did it in a manner where his emotions aren't vulnerable?
"We had sex, Beverly. Just sex. We've already been in a form of love, a bonding, each to the other. It just includes sex now. We are both aware he is not committed to a relationship with me. We just had a friendly evening and night together.
"That's all. We are lovers now, as well as friends. When he comes back aboard ship, or we meet, some time in the future, if he asks politely, we'll probably have more guiltless sex."
Logic, damn the logic! She'd screwed my little boy.
"What about Will?" I taunted.
"Will isn't into threesomes," she teased back.
I had to pause for that answer.
"Why now?" I had to ask.
"The timing seemed right," Deanna softly said. "Mostly he asked nicely, as I said before."
"And?"
"If it hadn't been me, he'd have attempted to approach some other older female, or her him. As I said, he is preconditioned to wish a relationship with an older female. He might have more sex with girls nearer his own age, but trust me on this. His first serious affair will be with a woman at least five years his senior. Perhaps even ten or more.
"In other words, you're implying he wants to marry his mother."
Suddenly I went white, understanding my words.
Deanna pushed 'my' glass of wine over towards me. I picked it up this time and drained it in one long bogart. She splashed a few fingers more into the bottom. This I managed to sip.
Damn her being a betazoid AND a trained counselor!
"That's not so unusual a pattern in closely raised male children, now is it? Be realistic, Beverly, sweet, haven't you been afraid for years that perhaps you've tied him a little too close with the apron strings?" Deanna made an easy sweeping gesture in the air.
I glared at her over the rim of my snifter, but I could tell her words were penetrating my snit.
Deanna rose then, wandering over to the aluminum windows of her cabin, hands behind her back as she continued.
"As I mentioned before, he did NOT put me on a pedestal. He will not carry a torch for me throughout the Academy. He is not worrying this moment whether he might have caught something embarrassing or inconvenient from a slut. I know Wes, he knows me, and he knows I am neither a virgin nor an easy pickup. Trust me on that, trust my betazoid abilities. We had sex. Not the beginnings of an inferno of love. However, I hope he will carry forward more than a few happy memories.
"I'll have more than a few memories." Turning to face me, her smile distinct. "Glad ones.
"He's already a good lover, Beverly. I speak from experience. He brings an intensity, a focus, to the act of love which I haven't discovered for years."
Damn her, how dare she GLOW like that?
"The introspective ones are frequently that way. They think, they ruminate, they play scenarios in their heads, they achieve understanding in the forebrain first.
"Wes has even managed to awaken the artist's side of his brain, when he makes love. I was the center of the universe last night. A girl likes to be the object of so much attention and forethought. You know that. We're greedy little bitches, and we soak up all the good feelings we can."
Deanna was behind my chair now, her hands trying to knead the tension out of my shoulders. At least this way I didn't have to meet her eyes. Why did she have to be so logical? I wanted to be mad at her for taking my Wesley to bed first. I didn't want to feel pleased that she had seduced my boy. I wanted to feel jealous and righteous anger.
She seduced him. Didn't she? She said he asked nice....
"I'm sorry you couldn't be the center of his lust, but you'll get over it, Beverly. I'll help you get over it. Be happy he's assured himself of his masculinity, and can move forward without so many doubts damaging his soul."
Deanna was kissing the back of my neck, and it was NOT making me feel good. Well, not much. Her hands working my muscles, however, was definitely in the feel good category.
"Why, Beverly?"
It took a few seconds for me to realize Deanna had asked a strange question of me.
She was standing alongside me, bending over me, her head dipping next to mine, allowing her to whisper.
She kissed me.
"Natasha was my lover as well, Beverly, my dear friend. I told you at her wake how we had kissed on the shuttle bay deck. When she died I could feel her love."
We kissed again, Deanna laying her lips close to my ear. "I've always liked women. My mother is the same way. We both like to have female lovers. From the first day I saw you, I've wondered what sort of a lover you would make. Don't you know I've wanted you for years? Why have you closed your arms to me?
"Why haven't you ever ...."
Then her hands were on my breasts, and I began shaking.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
When Beverly exited the dumper, I had my Dildo dismounted and in my mouth. I smiled at her as I tasted her juices on it's red length.
"Suck on these instead," she taunted. Sitting up on the edge of my bed, I pulled her down to me. Her nipples were always hard, and my memories told me how large the ball had gotten behind those nipples.
Beverly caressed my head as I suckled, but she had to get back to SickBay. She sighed with enough regret for the both of us. So I helped her dress, and fondled her only a few small times as she did so.
When we kissed again, she whispered a question to me.
"You really don't mind that my breasts sag so much? And my belly droops so, so badly? I know you're older than me, but you're still so.... So young."
I had to reply to that. "If you don't ever ever ever EVER say anything about the rolls of fat on my belly, and how badly MY breasts sag these days, and the looseness under my arms or my incipient cottage cheese on my ass..."
"Promise," she said. "I could get most of that in a few hours of surgery and shots if you want me to improve the model?"
"But it's satisfactory as it is?" I asked. She fondled both my larger breasts in reply. Then grabbed my buttcheeks when she kissed me once more.
"Satisfactory, and then some," Beverly answered.
"I love your breasts," I said. "You taste like nectar, you kiss like a Hindu diety, you have zero inhibitions in bed, and I LOVE those strong Surgeon's fingers of yours."
"Later on tonight?"
"What will Wesley say?" I teased.
"I'll tell him to go get some other woman," she said. "This one's mine."
I heard my sated redhead leave, and smiled at the new memories. That was pleasurable, I thought. And more where that came from. Bev was so.... Fun. So goddamned dedicated and serious and such a Renaissance woman, or wanting to be one.
She'll be back tonight. I felt tingly just thinking of it. I'd always assumed she was a devoted oral lover, and she was, is. Just like her son.
Maybe it was irritating having to substitute for the one she REALLY wants to have sex with, but I can overcome that feeling. I'm the wrong gender, as well, but she won't let herself see that. Things are as they are. And we have all have secret engines driving us.
Bev's allows me to literally lay back and whisper songs to myself as she smiles up into my face. She loves my singing as I come. Bev's always had one of the greatest smiles, when she can unbend enough to let it out.
Bev's ticklish, too, I like that.
Maybe I'll feed her curiosity when she finally asks what sort of a lover Wesley was. Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on how much dear Beverly needs to feel herself in my place. I'll make the decision when she finally asks.
Let Bev enjoy herself. Let me enjoy as well. Loosen her up.
Introduce her to Ro Laren, maybe. A nice threesome would be exciting. I haven't had one of those for years. Keep everything on the level of friendship and sex and not too much passionate and eternal romance. If nothing else, wean Beverly away from her hundred (hundreds of?) Risan sex toys.
It also wasn't really accurate to state Will didn't do threesomes, either. It's just hard for him to divorce sex from love. We could be making lovely lust every night, if he could separate a glandular thing from his need to permanently bond.
He'd like Beverly, I think. She's incredibly oral. He'd like that. And Bev is very, very bi, she just doesn't acknowledge the fact yet.
I wonder if there was any way for me to get the Captain and Beverly together, on an animal level? Short of obtaining a direct order from the Federation Council?
Probably not.
I sighed. A counselor's work is never done.
END