| Strange People We Know |
| "It's your house, it makes everyone fart the same!"- El Kunto "I want to burrow into your fadge"- El Kunto |
| The Chain Man Oh my Bobley, how could I have got this far without mentioning the chain man, He is quite mad, the chain man is also know as the elastic band man, the first time we saw him he was in the chemist and he ahd all these rubber bands, all over his head and on his arms, around his neck and his waist and he was purchasing things and nobody batted an eyelid because it was Parramatta after all, which is maddie central. The next time we saw him he was living in the park we used to go to after school, and he had taken to wearing chains all over his body instead of rubber bands, he had obviously moved up in the hardcore scale, we saw him standing around, after we got pulled over by the police (fascists!) and he was being hassled by a boy on a pushbike, and the boy on the pushbike was saying, "wooh, the chain man."The chain man was most upset by this, and he did try to kick the boy.The showing off boys were there too, and they were showing off, the sleeping boy was there too, so it was a bonza day for mad-a-rama. Then we saw the chain man and now he was pretending to be in the army and he had a stick and he was thinking it was a gun or something, and he would do army exercises with it. Also he would go and put little packets of sugar on peoples cars on Sunday when they went to church. And he would get water in his mug and put it behind their cars exhaust pipe. One couple drove off with his sugar still on their bonnet. On this sugar day he also was giving out free medical examinations to old Nannies who were walking past, I don't know how he coaxed them into it but he was rubbing them and making them do exercises and looking in their eyes and then he gave them a cigarette. I saw him the other day outside the medical centre on church st.Bizarre. |
| The yelling man and the pink lady. The yelling man is quite scary, smells bad and walks around yelling alot, hence his title, often I see him in Parramatta but I have started seeing him in the city, and the other day I saw him on the train and I was wondering, does he buy a ticket? does he have a special maddie pass? how does he get on the train, and then on Thursday I got to see how he gets on, he walks really fast with his eyes on the gate yelling as loud as possible and the ladies at the gate hold it open as wide as possible,and avoid eye contact, He also waves his finger at his invisible companion. the pink lady is also a train person and as you wait for the train she sidles up to you with a very intense look in her eyes which causes great discomfort in me but my mum thinks it's hillarious. Ha ha to her when the old gezzeroo aked her if she is married and how many children she had and stood very close to her, it wasn't funny then! |
| The boyfriend maddie One day I was sitting quite innocently on Parramatta Station (maddie central, i tell you) and this man came up to me and he said "Nice weather" and I said yeah, then he looked at me and said, "it's very quiet here isn' t it?" which is scary because there wasn't anyone else around and so i just grunted so he would think I was very tough and could bash him up if I wanted, which didn't work because he didn't go away, instead he said, "where's your boyfriend". Not have you got a boyfriend, just where is he, so I said that i killed him,with what he asked, with an axe i said. Luckily then the train came. The next time i saw him i was just casually sitting on the ground listening to my walkman, and he picked the one question i will always answer happily which is, "what are you listening to?" and so before even looking around to see if it was a psycho I said "Gorky's" and therefore let him believe that I really wanted to talk to him when really i just will talk about Gorky's with anyone, even Mr Minshall, so then i saw that it was him and he started asking me the boyfriend questions again this time I told him that I killed my boyfriend with a curse because i am a witch, then my train came and i thought yay! freedom, but then he got on my train and kept talking, then he asked me if i considered him to be his friend becasue he really wanted to be friends with me, to which i just said, erm whatever, then he put his hand on my shoulder, ergh! Scare-o-rama, he left it there for quite a while whilst still leering at me, then i got assertive and said, "you can stop touching me now" and then he buggered off which was good. |
| The Chainsaw man Oh deary me, one day Laura, Scott and I were all on the train going home from school and this man with really crazy blonde hair gets on the train. And he is holding a chain saw with the blade on it and everything. And thats not the scariest part, he lifts it up and saw, "Don't mess with me, i'm the chainsaw man. |
| Hamilton Weirdos Hello in Hamilton we have few weirdos, mainly everyone is just a nazi but we did have arthritis guy who was a guy who was out walking everyday even though he obviously had crippling arthritis or was a zombie. Anyway arthritis guy was very very surly, so everyday we would wave to him on the way to work and YEAH ONE DAY HE WAVED BACK! That was the best day! We also saw a zombie woman eating pizza, eating two pizzas rather out the front of McDonalds in Hamilton East. Then on another day we saw a half-naked Mexican guy smoking a cigarette. The best guy is KFC Ray as he is as mad as a cut snake and we once bought KFC off him and he was grinning madly and then a baby started crying and he started to laugh hysterically and clapping and said "yeah yeah it is just like the hospital" he also tends to clap after he has finished serving you. |